极品基老伴（2013）

我真的好兴奋
I'm so excited that you're
您今天竟能出席我的婚礼 娘亲
going to be at my wedding today, Mother!
那有人帮你套上礼服吗
Now, is there somebody there to help you get your dress on?
帮你把后背塞进去
Over your hump?
啊哈 啊哈
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
啊哈 等一下 亲爱的 有其他人打进来
Uh-huh. Yeah, hold on, dear, I have another call.
可能听着像我挂了 但其实我没有
It's going to sound as if I'm hanging up, but I'm not.
难以置信 你老娘居然要来参加我们的婚礼
I can't believe your mother's going to be at our wedding.
你猜她会送我们什么礼物
What do you suppose she'll give us?
除了吓我们一地鸡皮疙瘩
Apart from the creeps!
舌头不毒会死啊
Oh, now, be nice.
你知道这对我多么重要
You know how much this means to me.
她最近有点行动缓慢
She's been moving a little slowly lately.
我担心怎么让她走过红毯
I wonder how we'll get her down the aisle?
也许我们可以用大炮把她轰下去
Well perhaps we could shoot her out of a cannon.
更别提她的驼背了
And don't mention the hump.
上次一别 驼峰又长了16厘米
It's grown another six inches since the last time we saw her.
你没带她去看医生吗
Shouldn't you have her checked?
唉 那也无济于事啊
Well, there's really no point.
次次摘掉 次次长回来
Everything she's had removed just keeps growing back.
你好 亲爱的
Hello, darling.
哦 就是今天了
Well, it's here.
我的大喜日子
My big day.
-你是说 我的大喜日子 -不 我的 贾斯珀回来了
- You mean, my big day. - No. Mine. Jasper's back.
-贾... -贾斯珀
- Ja...? - Jasper.
我男人
My husband.
-哦 -哦
- Oh. - Oh.
他有说这这么多月都去哪儿了吗
Did he say where he's been all these months?
没有 我觉得直接问不够礼貌
No, and it felt rude to ask.
别把你自己当做今天的主角 维奥莱特
Now just don't try to make this day all about you, Violet.
当然不会 主角是咱俩
No, of course not. It's our day.
是我的
It's my day.
我很期待见到他 小维
I look forward to meeting him, Vi.
你见过他呀 在我们的婚礼上
You did meet him, at our wedding.
谁记得这啊
Nobody remembers that.
还有什么我能帮上忙的吗 斯图亚特
Is there anything more I can do to help, Stuart?
尽管我已经四肢瘫软了
Even though I'm completely knackered.
你到底干了什么
What exactly is it that you've done?
你懂的 啪啪啪呀
Oh, you know, this and that.
今天有专业人士来给你化妆吗
Is there a professional coming round to do your make-up today?
因为你真的需要他们妙手回春
Because you certainly need one.
-嗨 -你好啊 艾什
- Hi. - Hello, Ash.
我真为你们的大喜日子激动
I'm excited about your big day.
哦 谢谢
Oh, ho! Thank you.
总算有人记得今天的主角是谁
Somebody knows whose day it is.
我有件事要宣布 艾什
I have some news, Ash.
我丈夫回来了 而且他可是个极品醋坛子
My husband's back. And he's extremely jealous.
迫不及待想见见他
I can't wait to meet him.
你见过啊 在我们的婚礼上
You did meet him, at our wedding.
看到了吗 没人有印象
You see? It didn't register with anybody.
-极品神经的醋坛子 艾什 -好吧 我知道了
- Extremely, insanely jealous, Ash. - Yeah, I got it.
今天的婚礼有用得上我的地方吗 斯图亚特
Is there anything I can do to help with the wedding today, Stuart?
你介意携我母亲步上红毯吗
Would you mind walking my mother down the aisle?
-荣幸至极 -太好了
- It would be my honour. - Aw!
我知道她的出席对你有多重要
I know how much it means to you to have her there.
谢谢 艾什
Thank you, Ash.
我发现操纵她最简单的方式
I find the easiest way to
就是把她的驼峰当方向盘
manoeuvre her is to steer her by the hump.
恭喜你们
Congratulations.
你们俩来这儿干嘛
What are you both doing here?
来参加婚礼啊
We're here for the wedding.
可婚礼还要九个小时啊
But it's not for another nine hours.
我知道
I see.
我们等着好了
We'll just wait then.
好吧 你们俩真是在冷场的道路上渐行渐远啊
Well, you two really managed to suck the life out of the room.
其实 我想让你俩去取我们的婚礼蛋糕
Actually, I need you both to pick up our wedding cake.
你们行吗
Can you do that?
-付过钱了吗 -当然付过了
- Is it paid for? - Of course it is.
行吧
Fine.
这还真是场美好的婚礼
Well, it was a beautiful wedding.
是的 是的 赶紧走吧
Yes, yes, yes. Just move it along!
-你要去搭把手吗 维奥莱特 -不了 还是谢谢你
- Do you want to help us, Violet? - I don't. Thank you, though.
-蛋糕没付过钱吧 -当然没有
- It isn't paid for, is it? - Of course it's not.
你好 我们来取两位男士的婚礼蛋糕
Hello. We're here to pick up a wedding cake for two men.
-真是难以置信 -当然 请付250磅
- If you can believe it. - Sure, that's £250.
他们说已经付钱了啊
We were told it was already paid for.
-并没有 -天呐
- It wasn't. - Oh, dear.
就算在这里站到死 我也不会付钱的
I'll stand here till I die before I pay for that cake.
算你狠
Fine.
总之 我本想用这笔钱给自己装个起搏器的
I was only going to waste this money on a pacemaker, anyway.
哦
Oh!
-这个要怎么拿 -不知道
- Where's it going? - I don't know.
那我们要怎样把这个端去婚礼现场
Well, how are we supposed to get this to the wedding?
这就不关我的事了
I don't really get involved in this part of it.
哦 别这样 梅森 只要走几条街而已
Oh, come on, Mason, it's only a few streets.
你抬一头 然后...
You take one end and...
我抬另一头
I'll take the other.
-来吧 -哦
- There. - Oh.
你看 没什么难度吧
You see? This isn't so bad.
-一点不难 -哦 该死
- Not at all. - Oh, drat.
我脸上是不是有粘了奶油 你能看到吗
I think I've got a tiny bit of icing on my face. Can you see it?
没有
No.
现在我看见了
Now I see it.
快点 老男孩们 该出发去婚礼现场了
Hurry, boys! It's almost time to leave for the ceremony.
马上就下来
Be right down.
谁放你进来的
Who the hell let you in?
我进来啦
Knock knock!
你看起来美爆了 维奥莱特
Oh, you look lovely, Violet.
拜托 你不能在我丈夫面前和我这样调情哦
Please, you cannot flirt with me like that in front of my husband.
我没有在调情
I wasn't flirting.
我是认真的 艾什 他占有欲很强
I'm serious, Ash. He's very possessive.
他绝不能知道我们之间发生了什么
He can never know what happened between us.
我们之间有个毛线啊
Nothing happened between us.
很好 听上去很有说服力
Good. That sounded very convincing.
你看上去帅呆了 艾什
You look very dashing, Ash.
你看上去也很帅
You look pretty handsome yourself.
维奥莱特 你穿的是什么鬼
Violet, what are you wearing?
这不是我们挑的那条裙子
That is not the dress we picked out.
我觉得这身更能显得我娇美可人
I thought this was more playful.
那是白色的
It's white!
这是世界上跟白色最搭不上边的颜色 是奶油色
Oh, it's furthest thing in the world from white. It's cream.
看上去要结婚的是你
It looks like you're getting married.
简直鬼扯 真的吗
That's ridiculous! Really?
我没闲工夫管这个了
I haven't got time for this.
加长林肯呢 在门外吗
What about the limo? Is it out front?
我还以为我们是打的去呢
Oh, I thought we could take a taxi.
你简直就是一坨屎伴娘 你造吗
You're a really crap matron of honour. Do you know that?
斯图尔特·比克斯比 你看上去美极了
Stuart Bixby, you look spiffing!
谢谢你 弗雷迪 你也一样
Thank you, Freddie. So do you!
谢谢 我只有一个问题要问你
Thank you. And I've only one question to ask you.
-洗耳恭听 -她穿的是什么鬼
- Yes, Freddie? - What the fuck is she wearing?
这是奶油色
It's cream!
你看着像从狄更斯的小说里跑出来的[英著名作家]
You look like something out of a Dickens novel.
-是在夸我吗 -并不是
- Is that good? - No.
我觉得你上去很棒 维奥莱特
I think you look great, Violet.
别闹了 不要再恭维我了 艾什
Oh, knock it off with the compliments, Ash.
这让我鸡皮疙瘩掉了一地
It's making me uncomfortable.
我们该走了 我不想让母上大人等太久
We should go. I don't want to keep Mother waiting.
就差这一哆嗦了 弗雷迪
Oh, this is it, Freddie.
下一次我们回到这间公♥寓♥的时候
The next time we come back to this flat,