极品基老伴（2013）

我纳闷到底下不下雨呢
I wonder if it's going to rain.
据说有雨 但是天气预报从来没准过
They said rain, but then they're always wrong.
可貌似会下雨诶
It looks like it could rain.
不过又似乎不会下
Then, again, it might not.
但还是有可能下
Or it could.
要是无聊可以杀人的话
If it were possible to bore somebody to death,
那整条街都被你屠♥杀♥个干净了
you would have massacred this entire street by now.
起码我还没有一步一屁呢
At least I don't fart with every step I take.
怪我鞋子咯
It's my shoes.
这些年轻人怎么都拽得个二五八似的
Why are all these teenagers so confident?
除了招人烦以外
What exactly have they accomplished?
他们还有什么技能满级啊
Apart from being loathsome.
别瞅他们 我好怕怕啊
Don't look at them. They frighten me.
-早上好 -我们可没钱 快跑
-Morning. -We don't have any money. Run!
哦
Oh!
咱们跑多远了
How far have we got?
几步之遥 辛酸至极
A very short, sad distance.
我的膝盖骨都脱离了 你找找是不是掉路上了
I think my kneecap fell off! Can you see it anywhere?
咱们真得操练一番了
We really must get in better shape.
快点 先回家吧
Come on. Let's go home.
维奥莱特和佩内洛普还要过来喝茶呢
Violet and Penelope are coming for tea.
我们的生活真是毫无奔头啊
We never have anything good to look forward to.
哦 你感受到掉雨点了没
Oh! Did you just feel a drop?
我感觉掉了一滴
I think I felt a drop. Oh.
算了吧
Never mind.
哦 对的 又来一滴
Oh, yes, there it is again.
呃 等等
Er... Wait.
我也分不清了
Now I can't tell.
你说你怎么不招人恨
This is why people hate you.
我给大家拿点东西解解馋 可好
Can I get anybody a little something to nibble on?
哦 还这么兴师动众准备午餐 亲爱的
Oh, lunch would be lovely, darling.
劳烦给我也来点午餐 多谢
I'd love some lunch. Thank you.
这里有三颗什锦坚果 我们家可不是开饭店的
There's three assorted nuts. This isn't a restaurant.
再问一下 你们俩是如何结识的呢
How do you two know each other, again?
我们都相濡以沫50年了 佩内洛普
He's been my partner for 50 years, Penelope.
你还是红娘呢
You introduced us!
安静♥坐♥那儿嘬嘬核桃就好
Just sit there and suck on a walnut.
-你好 -你好啊 艾什
- Hi. - Hello, Ash.
-你好 艾什 快请进 -赏脸吃个午饭呗
- Hello, Ash. Come in. - Care for some lunch?
-哦 所以是有午餐的咯 -该吃的你们都吃到了
- Oh, so there IS lunch. - You've already had all you're getting.
多谢了 我就不吃啦 正准备去健身
I can't. Thanks. I'm just on my way to the gym.
我最近练得不少呢
I've been going a lot lately.
介意我们跟你同行吗 艾什
Do you mind if we go with you, Ash?
我才说到应该跟弗雷迪去打造一副好身板
I was just saying that Freddie and I should be in better shape.
别拉我下水 朕的身材美轮美奂
Speak for yourself. I'm in fantastic shape.
人们总是偷瞄我的翘臀
People are always staring at my ass.
因为都耷拉到膝盖后面了
Because it hangs behind your knees!
不行 我们需要再壮一点
No, we need to be more fit.
-我们今早差点被打劫啊 -天呐 发生什么了
-We were almost mugged earlier today. -Oh, my! What happened?
是这样 有个孩子对我们说"早上好"
Oh, this child said good morning to us.
细思极恐啊
It was horrifying!
当然可以 我不介意跟你们一块儿
Sure. I don't mind if you guys come.
我保证我们不是拖油瓶
I promise we won't be a bother.
你只要教教我们怎么个流程就行了
All we need is for you to teach us how everything works.
那些我全部了然于胸
I already know how it all works.
我以前成天泡健身房♥
I used to go to the gym all the time.
你们现在还举沙袋吗
Do you still lift bags of sand?
很好 那么我们回见吧
Great. Well, I'll see you later.
那才叫翘臀呢
Now that's a nice arse.
哦 是的 一切都历历在目
Oh, yes. It's just as I remembered it.
除了这些器械啊
Except without all these machines.
哑铃啊
And weights.
健身的小鲜肉啊
And people exercising.
没准儿我真把健身房♥想成别的啥了
Maybe I was thinking a gym was something else.
天见垂怜 还好我俩衣着得体
Thank God we're appropriately dressed.
完胜那些衣不蔽体的
We actually look better than everyone.
不如我们舒展热身一下
Shall we start with some stretching?
-噢 -噢
- Oh! - Oh...
感觉棒棒哒
That felt good.
-全身上下欢腾雀跃 意气风发 -是啊
- That really got everything moving. - Yes.
健身得差不多了 我们回家吧
I almost feel like we could go home now.
喔 瞅瞅这些健身课程的海报
Oh, look at all these posters for training sessions.
彻头彻尾的鼓吹欺骗
The whole thing is a scam.
利用特♥价♥优♥惠♥来利诱老年人
They take advantage of old people with these special offers.
没准儿他们一溜须拍马 这些呆瓜们就签字画押了
They probably flatter the idiots, then they sign up.
嗨 我是席恩 这里的健身教练
Hi. I'm Theo, one of the trainers here.
我本来打算看看二位是否需要帮助
I was going to see if you guys needed any help.
可显而易见 二位身姿矫健体态匀
But I can see you're both already in great shape.
受宠若惊
Thank you.
哎 别着急着走啊
Well, don't walk away so fast.
我敢肯定我们还可以练点别的
I'm sure there's still more we can learn.
好啊 眼下正好有个优♥惠♥
Well, there's a special right now,
如果你们报名20节课程
if you sign up for 20 sessions.
但要50岁以上才可以
But you have to be over 50.
-你肯定不到吧 -上个月刚满50岁 真是苍天有眼
- Are you? - Just last month. Thank God.
不了吧 我有点拿捏不准了
No, I'm not sure about this.
斯图尔特
Stuart!
他在给我们优♥惠♥呐
He's offering us a special.
-第一周免费 -这样啊 那还等什么呢
- The first week is free. - In that case, can we start now?
-好极了 不如从俯卧撑开始吧 -小菜一碟
- OK. Great. Why don't we start with some press-ups? - All right.
要是他做死了 只管继续
If he dies, just keep going.
课程不完誓不休
I want to get my full hour.
有人吗
Hello?
进来吧 家里没人
Come on in. Nobody's here.
维奥莱特 这样真的合适吗
Are you sure this is all right, Violet?
确定以及肯定 我用自己的钥匙
Positive. I have my own key.
我每次外出 都顺道来这里上厕所
I always stop by to use the loo when I go out.
噢 谢天谢地 我还想着
Oh, thank goodness! I thought
再不上厕所就要憋晕了
I'd pass out if I didn't get to a toilet.
那你还不赶快去
Then shouldn't you go?
去哪里
Go where?
厕所啊
To the toilet.
啊 是哦
Oh, right.
你好 贾斯帕 我的小亲亲
Hello. Jasper, darling,
我是维奥莱特
it's Violet.
给你报个平安 收到消息回个电♥话♥哟
Just checking in. If you get this, do give me a ring.
天呐 太爽了
Christ, that felt good.
现在
Now...
我们趁着弗兰基和斯蒂芬还没回来 赶紧撤吧
we'd probably better go before Frankie and Stephen get back.
他两口子是弗雷迪和斯图尔特
Freddie and Stuart.
我晓得的
Of course.
他们也住这儿
They live here, too.
别担心 我肯定他们暂时回不来
You know, I'm certain they won't be home for a while.
我想着我们可以在这里消磨会时间
I think we could spend a few more minutes here.
好啊
Oh!
噢
Oh...
要不要来点茶
Shall we have some tea?
这主意不错
Oh, that sounds delightful.
你不觉得 没有他们在的空气都更怡人了
Do you think it's a bit more pleasant without them here?
噢 我去 还真是
Oh, shit, yes.
噢
Oh...
什么噪音啊 难不成有人在放烟火
What's that noise? Is somebody setting off fireworks?
我的肩膀在吱吱作响
It's my shoulder cracking.
我不敢肯定 似乎有块骨头跟我肩膀分手了
I'm not sure, but I think a piece just broke off.
弗雷迪 你做得真棒
You're doing great, Freddie.
他都干什么了 居然比我还棒吗
What's he doing? Is he doing it better than me?
当然啦 人家就是棒 谢谢夸奖 席恩
Yes, I am. Thank you, Theo.
哎呀
Oof!
-你俩都很赞 -明显我更好 对吧
- You were both amazing. - But I did better. Right?
这怎么可能呢
How could you have done better?