废柴舅舅（2014）

我就是觉得和Gwen谈这个有点古怪
I knew it. You hate Casper. We've all been there.
我知道 你讨厌Casper 我们都经历过
No, you knob! I'm seeing someone.
不是 你个傻♥逼♥ 我在和某个人约会
Patrick. He's...
Patrick 他很
lovely, and it's getting serious,
可爱 而且我们很认真的
but he has teenage kids
但是他有几个青春期的孩子
and an ex-wife, and they're really straight.
还有一个前妻 他们都直得不行
You know? Square?
明白吗 规规矩矩的
And I don't know what they're going to make of me,
我不知道他们会怎么想我
or Gwen or this place...
或是Gwen 或是这个地方
I refuse to change who I am. And I just...
我不会改变自己 我只是
I just don't want to scare them off before they get to know me,
只是不想在他们真正了解我之前被我吓跑
you know?
你明白吗
What? Oh, my God!
咋了 我的老天
You are so insecure.
你好没有安全感呐
Andy, don't make me kill you just when things were looking up.
Andy 别逼我在事情有所好转的时候杀了你
Listen, Val...
听好 Val
you are one of the coolest, most genuine, beautiful human beings I have ever met.
你是我见过的 最酷 最真诚 最美好的人之一
You stick up for your friends and your family.
你总是支持着朋友和家人
And if you're special to this guy,
如果你对这个家伙而言很特别
then his family should know about it.
他的家人应该知道这一切
And if they can't see it, and he won't show them,
如果他们看不到你的美 他也不让他们看到
then he doesn't deserve you.
那这个家伙不配拥有你
If he doesn't want what you're cooking,
如果他不喜欢你做的菜
then I'll come over for dinner.
我会过来接他的盘
Are you hitting on me?
你在撩我吗
Accidentally, maybe.
一不小心 纯属意外
Happy 16th, Roly!
16岁生日快乐 Roly
You're now old enough to register as a blood donor.
你现在的年龄已经可以献血了
Or join the army. Or get married.
或是参军 或是结婚
Over my dead body.
除非我死
Or ride a moped, like a true mod.
或是像个真的现代青年一样骑辆小摩托
Over your dead body.
除非你死
Hey! You're leaving the biggest one out.
嘿 你没算进最重要的那件事
Sex!
性♥爱♥
You are officially old enough to change your name by deed poll!
根据法律 你现在的年龄已经可以自行改名字了
This "Errol" Joke has been going on long enough.
Errol这个名字闹了多久的笑话了
Hi, Uncle Andy.
嗨 Andy舅舅
Wow. When Sam heard I could finally afford to move out,
哇 当Sam听说我终于能负担得起搬出去住了
she wasted no time in packing all my stuff up.
她立刻争分夺秒地打包了我所有的东西呢
Cool. Thanks.
酷 谢谢
It's a lady's small. It should fit perfectly.
这是件女士的小码 应该挺合身的
Now that's out the way, what do you want to do?
好了寒暄完毕 你想去干嘛
We could go and try and sneak you into an 18-certificate film,
咱俩可以试着溜进电影院看十♥八♥禁♥电影
or we could have a jam session. Starmix on me.
或者办一个即兴演唱会 水果软糖我包了
I'd love to, but my friends are waiting.
我很想去 但是我的朋友们等着我呢
I'll see you at the gig tonight.
今天晚上的现场演出见
Ophelia Nightshade are friends now, are they?
奥菲莉亚龙葵现在是你的朋友了对吗
I don't think I should feel guilty for jamming with other people.
我不认为我应该为和别人演出而怀有罪恶感
And if you think Ophelia Nightshade's dumb,
而且如果你觉得奥菲莉亚龙葵蠢爆了
then what about the Bear Maximum?
那最大熊值又怎样呢
That is a riff on a joke that YOU made.
那是从你讲的笑话里取的名字
When I was 12.
我12岁时的笑话
Well, if you're so mature, then how come you've stopped answering my calls
好吧 如果你这么成熟 那怎么不回我的电♥话♥
Well, because I knew you'd make me feel bad for having fun without you.
因为你一直对我没和你玩耿耿于怀 故意想让我内疚
Yeah, well, I've been having fun without you.
我一个人玩得很开心好不好
I've been having the time of my life.
我处在人生巅峰呢
Why would I want to hang around with a stupid kid from Croydon?
我为什么会想和一个来自克罗伊登的熊孩子一起玩
Because this stupid kid is the only real friend you've got.
因为这个熊孩子是你现有的唯一真正的朋友
Real friends hang out with each other on their birthdays,
真朋友会在他们生日的那天一起出去玩
not with a bunch of talentless brats.
而不是和一群没才华的臭小子混在一起
I only said they were talentless to protect your fragile ego.
我说他们没有才华只是为了保护你脆弱的自尊心
MY fragile ego?!
我脆弱的自尊心
The only reason I started hanging out with you in the first place
我最初决定带你一起玩的原因
was because you're my sister's weirdo kid
只是因为你是我姐姐的怪小孩
and I felt sorry for you.
我同情你
Well, don't let me cramp your style.
那就别让我束缚你的风格了
And me playing bass -
而且我不止弹了一次贝斯
that wasn't a one-time thing. I'm a bassist now!
我现在是个贝斯手了
Well, you know what a bassist and a Hoover have in common?
你知道贝斯手和吸尘器有什么共同点吗
They both suck when you plug them in!
就是用起来的时候都烂到爆
Fuck you, Andy!
去死吧 Andy
One minute you're writing hits for NTL,
上一分钟你还在为非生者写热曲呢
and now you're opening for Ezra + Riley.
现在你就为Ezra加Riley做开场演出了
Does it all feel kind of surreal to you?
你有没有觉得像是在做梦呢
Yeah. I mean, it's been a long road.
是的 这个过程确实很漫长
And this band is kind of an evolution of your duo,
从某种意义上来讲 这个乐队的前身是你的二人乐队
the Bear Maximum, right? That was with your nephew?
最大熊值乐队 对吗 和你外甥一起组的
Can you talk about how that influenced your sound?
你能谈谈那是怎么影响了你的音乐吗
Yeah. I mean, he wasn't available to do the tour.
可以 不过 这次巡演他没法来
Erm... Oh, I've got to get this.
噢 我得接下电♥话♥
Hey. What's up?
嘿 怎么啦
We're heading over to the venue, but I can't find Roly,
我们准备去现场了 但是我找不到Roly
and he's not picking up. Have you heard from him?
他也不接电♥话♥ 你有他的消息吗
**Isn't it a pity?*
*难道不遗憾吗
**Now isn't it a shame?*
*难道不可耻吗
**How we break each other's hearts?*
*这样伤透彼此的心
All right, you fanny flannels. After six months together,
好了 擦阴布们 在六个月的相处之后
I can say each of you now feels like a brother -
我敢说我们中的每个人都把对方当成亲兄弟了
a brother in the sense that I'm tired of smelling your farts
亲到我都厌倦了闻你们的屁
and cleaning up your vom.
还有给你们清理呕吐物了
I'm ashamed to say I know your wank schedules better than my own.
我都不好意思说我清楚你们的撸管时间甚于我自己的
Now, let's get out there
现在 我们出去吧
and give them the show of our lives tonight.
给他们献上我们今晚的表演
I've got some ex-girlfriends in the crowd,
观众里有我好几个前女友
and I'd like to make them feel bad for letting me get away.
我希望让她们为甩了我感到难过
Andy? You want to add anything?
Andy 你还想说点什么吗
Erm...
嗯
Don't fuck it up.
别搞砸了
Don't fuck it up!
别搞砸了
Come on, boys, come on.
来吧哥们儿 加油
Mr King?
King先生
Mr King, we're waiting for you.
King先生 我们都在等你呢
** We're always told it's all about the taking part*
*我们总说重在参与
** Yeah, whoopy-doo and, well done, you*
*干得漂亮
** You take that sentiment to heart*
*你把情绪深埋于心
** You lag behind*
*你走在最后方
** You've constantly been overlapped*
*你一直被重复
** I raise my hat, I'm impressed that*
*我拿帽致敬 我印象深刻
** You've really ran with being crap*
*你的生活一塌糊涂
**Here we go again, here we go again*
*又来又来
**You're perfect again*
*重回完美
**Coming last again*
*又居末尾
**You can't know again You're on show again...*
*你还是不了解 你又回到正轨
So, you got all that rock-star stuff out of your system?
话说 你放弃自己的摇滚明星梦了吗
No? Good!
没有 那就好
Cos I want Bear to do me an album.
因为我希望你的乐队给我做一张唱片
Don't thank me.
不必谢我
Fuck me.
操♥我♥
In the ears. With your music.
在耳朵里 用你的音乐
I'll give it a go. Super.
我尝试下 很好
Ezra, you skinny twat.
Ezra 皮包骨小混♥蛋♥
Andy, you ready to finish that interview?
Andy 你打算完成那个采访吗
Yeah, er...
对
Maybe later.
稍等一会吧
Hi.
嗨
That was a great show.
真是场精彩的表演
Yeah. Thanks.
是嘛 谢谢
You want to get out of here?
想出去吗
You punch like a diabetic kitten.
你打起人像得了糖尿病的小猫在挠
You punch like Danny DeVito in a zero-gravity plane.