废柴舅舅（2014）

As smooth operations go, this one's up there.
手术进行得还算顺利 这位已经基本脱离危险了
Have you just given her anything? Just put the local in.
你刚是不是给她注射了什么 局部麻醉剂而已
She's dumped her pressure and her sats are dropping.
她的血压变低了 血氧饱和度也在下降
OK, give me adrenaline, hydrocortisone, 200 milligrams.
给我200毫克的肾上腺素和皮质醇
Shall I carry on or stop? Stop!
我要继续还是停止操作 停下
Stop!
停下
This is officially the best day ever.
这绝对是最棒的一天
Comfy hospital gown, check. Trashy hospital mag, check.
有舒服的病服 还有这些垃圾医院杂♥志♥
If this bed had a vibrate button, I could die happy.
要是这个床能震动的话 那我死而无憾了
You're not convincing anyone. Fine.
你这些话一点说服力也没有 好吧
I'm starving. Seriously,
我好饿 讲真的
who can go 12 hours without eating anything?
谁能坚持12小时不吃一点东西
Andy! Can you stop moving about?
Andy 你能不能别走来走去的
He's probably thinking about
他现在估计正惦记
all the primo drugs that are in this building right now.
这栋楼里那些顶好的药吧
I wasn't! Until you mentioned it.
才没有 你要不说我根本没往那边想
And, actually, I was worried about my sister. Thank you.
而且事实上 我是在担心我姐姐 谢谢
You don't need to worry.
你不用担心
It's just a lumpectomy. I'm going to be fine.
只是个肿瘤切除手术而已 不会有事的
And I get that you're detoxing,
我知道你正在戒毒
but can you stand still? Cos you're making me nauseous.
但你就不能站着别动吗 这样让我很令人反胃诶
Nauseated. Nauseous means you're making other people nauseated.
是"感到反胃" "令人反胃"是指你让其他人感到反胃
Whatever. You know what I mean. And why are you being so snippy?
随便啦 你知道我的意思就行 你怎么突然这么暴躁
Judging by his jumper, he's gone full Robert Smith.
从他的毛衣来看 他是在走Robert Smith风格
Or maybe he has a girlfriend.
或者是他有女朋友了
Sam, be rational.
Sam 理智一点
Come on, sweetie, what's up?
说说吧 宝贝 你怎么了
They should make hospital gowns red.
他们应该把病服设计成红色
That way, they can at least blend in with all the blood.
那样至少和血的颜色相协调
I regret letting you watch American Psycho.
我有点后悔让你看<美国精神病人>了
Who is it? It's Mum.
谁是 妈妈
She's asking if you've had your roots done,
她问你的手术做完了吗
and I quote,
原话是
"The surgeon won't care about you
"外科医生不会关心你"
unless you care about yourself."
"除非你能照顾好自己"
Aww! Mum of the Year!
哇 年度好妈妈
Hospital parking is the worst. 50 quid for a day?
在医院停车最坑了 一天居然要50镑
I could buy a black-market kidney for that. So! What's shaking?
这价格在黑市上都能买♥♥到一个肾了 对了 你们还好吧
I am reading which celebs are in a messy break-up this month,
我在看这个月哪些名人的分手又闹得满城风雨了
Andy's detoxing and Roly's sulking.
Andy在戒毒 Roly在生闷气
He's not sulking.
他没在生闷气
Speaking of sulky teens, Tiff sends her love.
说到闷闷不乐的青少年 Tiff让我代她表达对你的爱
Oh, and Claire.
哦 还有Claire
You look so beautiful. What did I tell you?
你看起来真美 我之前怎么跟你说的
I'm not being sentimental.
我没有伤感啊
I'm an emotional rock.
我是个冷静的人
I'm wearing paper knickers. Oh!
我穿了纸内♥裤♥哦 噢
Mum, is this really the time?
妈 现在说这个真的合适吗
Any day that I'm legally allowed to pump myself full of drugs
任何一个允许我合法注射药品的日子
is a win.
都是胜利
So lucky.
真幸运
What? Oh, yeah, cancer's terrible. Yeah.
咋了 哦对 癌症是很糟啦 没错
Hi, Samantha. So, the surgeon has five procedures today
嗨 Samantha 医生今天有五台手术
and you are second on the list,
你是名单上的第二个
so you shouldn't have too long to wait.
所以应该不用等太久
Do you have any questions?
你有什么问题吗
What is the Wi-Fi password?
这里的无线网密♥码♥是多少
Fine, I'll just try "Hospital1234".
好吧 我试试"医院1234"好了
Oh, how do people do this?
大家都是怎么做到的
Sit still? Manage stress without drugs.
坐着不动吗 不用嗑药就能控制压力
It's not like you were doing drugs all the time.
你以前又不是每时每刻都在嗑药
What's different now?
现在有什么区别
Now, I am officially an addict,
现在我已经是个真正的上瘾者了
and as soon as you tell me i can't have something,
而我一旦被告知不能拥有某样东西
I want it even more.
只会让我更加渴望它
I went mental when they discontinued curry Twiglets.
他们停产卷形"小脆枝"的时候我都疯了
So how did you manage stress before? There was no before.
那你以前是怎么应对压力的 没有以前
I had my first spliff when I was 11.
我11岁就开始吸大♥麻♥了
Don't look at me like that. I looked old for my age.
别这样看我 我那时候长得比较成熟
And I didn't have a stable home life. And I do?
而且我的家庭生活也不稳定 难道我有吗
Fair enough.
这倒是
I know, I know. I've got to find...
我知道 我知道 我得找到
a better way to filter my feelings,
一种更好的方式来过滤自己的情绪
but I'm not a fucking fish tank, am I?
但我他妈又不是鱼缸 对吧
Well, you've only been clean about a week.
你才开始戒毒一周而已
Why don't you just try thinking about something else?
你为什么不试试想些其他的事情呢
Like Melodie.
比如Melodie
The one that got away? Yeah, that'll help
那个离开我的人吗 是啊 这肯定有帮助
How long's she been in there? 40 minutes.
她进去多久了 40分钟
Definitely feels longer.
感觉绝对不只这么长啊
That's what she said. Don't steal my act.
她就是这么说的 别偷学我的台词
How are you so calm?
你怎么这么冷静
I'm a man of science. Feelings have no place in a hospital.
我是相信科学的人 情绪在医院里没有立足之地
What is it?
说了什么
"Stay arm, we're shit, kiss-kiss".
"保持手臂 我们是屎 亲亲"
Whatever.
不管了
Right... Here's something fun that'll keep us busy.
好吧 我想到个好玩的游戏来打发时间
Uncle Frank taught me this.
Frank舅舅教我的
If you stare directly at it, then the coin is yours.
如果你直视了这枚硬币 它就归你
And when you've got it, you've got to get me to stare at it.
你拿着硬币的时候 要想办法让我去看它
Then I get it back.
然后我再拿回硬币
The trick is to hold it underneath the waist
要求硬币得放在腰部以下的位置
and whoever's got the coin at the end of the day is the loser.
一天结束之后 谁拿着硬币谁就输了
When you said this game was going to be fun,
你说这个游戏有意思的时候
did you really mean it was going to be pointless and stupid?
内心潜台词是不是这个游戏很蠢且毫无意义
Ahhh, shit! I've got cramp in my foot.
啊 卧♥槽♥ 我脚抽筋了
Who's stupid now, stupid?
现在是谁蠢了 蠢蛋
What happens to the loser?
输了会怎么样
A friend of mine had to go out in public dressed as a condom.
我一个朋友扮成了一个避孕套去街上
Why would anyone do that?
怎么会有人愿意做这事
Because he has a reputation for being a wild and crazy guy,
因为他是个以狂野著称的人
and that's its own burden.
这就是名声附带的负担
Are you going to tell me
你要不要告诉我
what my mum said before she went to surgery?
妈妈去手术室之前和你说了什么
Are you going to tell me what happened to your wrist?
你要不要告诉我你的手腕怎么了
Oh.
哦
That was, er...
那个是 呃t
That was just a reading accident.
那是个阅读意外
Sprained it while...
翻书的时候太快
turning a page too fast.
不小心扭伤了
Oh, shit, how did I get blood on my jeans?
噢 卧♥槽♥ 我裤子上怎么沾了血
Oh, you...
你个
I think I'm going to enjoy this game.
我觉得我开始喜欢这个游戏了
Oi, Errol. Do you like my shoes? Not falling for it.
喂 Errol 你喜欢我这双鞋吗 我才不会上当
The floor's got a funny pattern on it, hasn't it?
这地板上有个好搞笑的图案啊 你看到了吗
I thought being in a wheelchair would be embarrassing,
我之前觉得坐在轮椅上会很尴尬
but I could get used to this.
不过我还是慢慢适应了
Andy, stop chewing your feelings.
Andy 别一紧张就咬你的指甲
So, what are you guys going to do while I'm gone?
我去做手术的时候你们打算干什么
Oh, you know, we're going to poke corpses
哦 你知道的 就是去戳戳尸体
and take some selfies with corpses.
然后再和他们来个自♥拍♥啥的
I'm kidding!
我开玩笑的
We're not going to take any selfies.
我们不会自♥拍♥的
All right, don't miss me too much.
好了 别太想我了
Bruce.
Bruce
I'm... I'm not crying.
我 我没哭
I'm the rock.
我超冷静
I crush feelings for fun.
消除情绪跟玩儿似的
Andy, come here. There's something I need to tell you. Come on.
Andy 过来 有件事我要告诉你 过来
To the Batmobile, Robin. Mum...
上蝙蝠战车吧 罗宾 妈妈