这个傻瓜（2022）

Come on in.
走吧
Come on.
我的兄弟
My boy.
肥仔长眠于此
这是他最喜欢的食物
These were his favorites.
我喜欢你的风格
I like your style.
简单快捷
Quick and easy.
天哪 我真不敢相信他去世了
Man, can't believe he died.
是吗
Really?
他的名字可是肥仔
I mean, his name was Fatass.
你想说什么
What you trying to say?
试问有几个叫肥仔的能长寿
You don't exactly meet a lot of old fools named Fatass.
40岁以上男性中有18%是因肥胖而死
Obesity does account for 18% of all male deaths over the age of 40.
不好意思
Excuse me.
但我丈夫不是因为肥胖去世的
But my husband's weight had nothing to do with his passing.
是车祸
It was a car crash.
开车玩手♥机♥
Texting and driving.
沉默的杀手
The silent killer.
这很难接受 路易斯
That is a lot to take in, Luis.
我想你应该花一天时间来接受他的离世
I think you should take the day to process this loss.
我觉得你的状态不适合跟那个傻瓜达文特打架
I don't think you're in the right space to fight that fool Davonte.
达文特
Davonte?
肥仔恨透了那个混♥蛋♥
Fatass hated that motherfucker.
你得好好教训那个傻♥逼♥
You gotta kick that fool's ass.
去揍扁他是我的荣幸
I'll be honored to kick his ass.
为了肥仔
For Fatass.
路易斯 肥仔去世前说了一些关于你的事
You know, Luis, right before Fatass died, he said something about you.
真的吗 他说了什么
For real? What did he say?
嗯 他说你欠他20美元
Yeah, he said you owed him $20.
好吧
Oh, yeah, uh--
没问题 给我20美元
No problem. Give me $20.
你能把你的号♥码给我吗
You, uh, you think I could get your number?
我很诚恳的
Respectfully.
为了肥仔
For Fatass.
这味道太他妈棒了
Motherfuckers are good.
靠 我喉咙有点恶心反酸什么的
Damn, got some nasty throat acid or some shit.
这就是你把所有百吉饼都吃掉的后果
That's what you get for eating all those Bagel Bites.
你可能把食道搞坏了
You probably fucked up your esophagus.
去他妈的食道
Esopha these nuts.
-等等 你说什么 -闭嘴吧
- Wait. What? - Shut up.
幸运的是 我有个兄弟家离这只有几个街区
Luckily, I got a homey who lives just a few blocks from here.
假如他没死 他一定会跟我们一起的
Assuming he's not dead, he'll roll with us for sure.
我靠
Hey, goddamn.
这臭味闻着像廉价的速食意面罐头 老兄
That shit smell like some cheap-ass Chef Boyardee shit, man.
赶紧把他妈的窗户打开
Crack the motherfucking window in this shit.
二号♥兄弟枪哥
老兄 去他的达文特 兄弟
Man, fuck Davonte, homey.
自从我们上次我们揍了他
I'm still banned from Magic Mountain
我到现在还不允许进魔幻山游乐园
from that last time we jumped him.
我很想最后再去教训那个混♥蛋♥一次
You know I'd love to kick that fool's ass one last time,
靠 但我去不了 兄弟
fuck, but I can't, dawg.
我的坐骨神经出问题了 兄弟
My sciatic nerve's been acting up, homey.
胡说
That's bullshit.
别再找借口了 赶紧回来帮兄弟
Quit making excuses and come back up your homeboy.
等等 坐骨神经痛可不是闹着玩的
Hey, hold up. Sciatic nerve pain is no joke.
你哪里有问题
Where's the problem?
L4L5椎间盘 伙计
It's in my L4, L5, dawg.
该死 我是L5S1椎间盘
Damn, mine's L5 and S1.
-靠 -等等 疼痛是不是辐射到腿部了
- Damn. - Wait. Does yours radiate down your leg?
可不是吗 痛死了
Shit, like a motherfucker, homey.
该死 我懂你 老兄
Oh, shit, I feel you, man.
我的脊椎医生说
My spine specialist said
我可能得做个微创椎间盘切除术
I probably gotta get one of those microdiscectomies.
-靠 真的吗 -是啊
- Oh, shit, for real? - Yeah!
-老兄 我为你祈祷 -但愿吧
- Man, I'll pray for you. - Please.
那太难受了 兄弟 不过可能也不是坏事
That's rough, homey, but it might not all be bad news.
我有个兄弟也做了同样的手术
My homeboy had that same operation.
他说经过几个月的理疗 他已经恢复...
He said a couple of months of physical therapy, he was right back--
拜托 各位 认真点
Hey, come on, y'all, stay focused!
我们讨论的是打架 不是交流脊椎病情
We're talking about busting heads, not broken backs and shit.
可惜了 兄弟 我也想加入你们
Damn, my boy. I wish I could join you.
但我真的不能冒险 兄弟
I really can't risk it, dawg.
帮我个忙 兄弟
You know-- Hey, do me a solid, homey.
带我儿子去吧
Take my son.
他需要好好历练 兄弟
He needs to get toughened up, dawg.
对了 我忘了你还有个儿子
Oh, yeah, I forgot you had a morro.
他现在多大了
How old is he now?
我他妈哪知道 老兄 大概12岁吧
I don't fucking know, dawg, like 12 or some shit.
儿子 过来
Hey, Junior, come here!
儿子 这是我兄弟路易斯
Junior, this is my homeboy Luis.
你准备好帮派火拼了吗 小伙子
You ready to get into a gang fight, Junior?
跟《西区故事》一样吗
Like West Side Story?
我这就去换战袍
I'll go get changed.
他爱死那部电影了 兄弟
Fuckin' loves that movie, dawg.
顺便说一句 你♥他♥妈♥还欠我20块呢
By the way, you still owe me 20 fucking bucks, homes.
别急嘛 这就还你
Yeah, don't trip on me, I got it.
你们是鲨鱼帮还是喷气机帮
So are you like the Sharks or the Jets?
你喜欢哪个就哪个
Whichever one you want.
好 那我们就是鲨鱼帮 很明显
Okay. Then we're the Sharks, obviously.
你♥他♥妈♥叨叨什么呢
What the fuck are you talking about?
你还好吗
Hey, you good?
我的胃和喉咙超难受
My stomach and my throat are pretty fucked up.
老兄 你可能是胃酸反流
Dawg, you probably got acid reflux.
我爸也有胃酸反流
My dad has acid reflux.
他说人老了都这样
He says that's what happens when you get old.
如果你不舒服
Hey, if you're not feeling good,
那我们就改天再约架
we should just reschedule the fight.
当然不行
Fuck, no!
这又不是谷歌♥日历上的日程 我们是来真的
This ain't Google Calendars, this is real life.
我们至少应该去趟商店给你买♥♥点益生菌
We should at least stop by the store and get you some probiotics.
我吃过 挺有用的
Those always help me.
好吧 好吧
Alright, alright.
给我一点贴屁♥股♥上的抗生素
Give me some of those antibiotics they put up your culo.
那不是外用的 笨蛋
It's not how you take them, idiot.
是口服的
You take them orally.
我才不吃这些狗屎呢
I'm not taking shit orally.
可那就得用嘴吃
But that's how you take them.
对对 你都是用嘴给人口的
Yeah, yeah, that's how you take them.
你刚刚是不是说你要吃狗屎
Did you just say you take a shit orally?
你们好坏坏哦
Yo, y'all are nasty.
车上还有孩子呢
There's a little boy in this car.
信息量太大了
Fuckin' his little brain up.
孩子
Hey, kid.
这是我跟你老爸以前老干的事
This is what me and your jefe used to do all the time back in the day.
你以前和我爸爸一起偷过抗胃酸咀嚼钙片吗
You used to steal Tums with my dad?
我们以前在这家店里偷过各种东西
We used to steal all kinds of shit from this store.
他们有不追人的规定
They got a no chase policy.
只要你过了出口 就没人碰得到你了
So once you make it past the exit, you're untouchable.
二号♥通道 绿色信♥号♥♥
Code green on aisle two.
洗甲水 常规款
-来 胡里奥 给我当个托儿 -没问题
- Here, Julio, help me sell some of these cupcakes. - I got you.
我的天哪
Boy, oh, boy!
这些纸杯蛋糕真好吃
These sure are some yummy-ass cupcakes.
还能间接做好事
And for a great cause?
那我就不客气啰
Don't mind if I do.
纸杯蛋糕 要纸杯蛋糕吗
Cupcakes. Cupcakes.
贱♥人♥ 你想让我重新进监狱吗
Bitch, do you want me to relapse?
你知道该死的累犯率有多高吗？
Do you realize how high of a motherfucking recidivism rate I'm up against?
你知道吗你
Do you?
只要买♥♥一盒小蛋糕
Why don't you buy a fuckin' cupcake?
就少一个黑人兄弟在街上漂
Keep a nigga off the streets.
谢谢你 红丝绒口味是个不错的选择
Thank you. Red velvet is an amazing choice.