这个傻瓜（2022）

How fucking dare you? You put me in danger.
你♥他♥妈♥为什么要这样对我
Why the fuck would you do that to me?
那就把车还给我 我要去接路易斯
Well, bring it back then. I gotta pick up Luis.
不是吧
No shit.
他们把你表哥放出来了吗
They're letting your cousin out?
天哪 监狱系统太蠢了
Man, the prison system is stupid.
其实他要跟我们待一段时间
Actually, he's gonna stay with us for a while.
我要帮那个傻瓜回归正常生活
Imma help that fool get his life together.
照顾那个傻瓜
Take that fool under my wing.
胡里奥 你真是我脾气最好的前任
You know, Julio, you really are the nicest ex I have.
所以我觉得我找你借车 你也不会介意
That's why I thought you'd be cool if I borrowed your car.
不过你想让我还车也没问题
But if you want me to bring it back, that's fine.
谢了
Thank you.
我打给其他前任就行了
I'll just call another ex.
不如找卡洛斯好了
Maybe Carlos.
我们又重新开始联♥系♥了
We're talking again.
黑人是最原始的人种
The Black man is the original man.
拉丁人 亚洲人 印第安人都是我们的后代
And Latinos, Asians, and Native Americans are all our children.
你们有些人让我引以为傲
Now some of you make me proud,
但还有些人根本算不上人
but some of you are not men.
也许你有着成人的身体
You may have the body of a man,
但心智还跟小孩一样
but possess a child's will.
为了上帝的旨意 站起来
Stand up for the word of the Lord.
暴风雨就要来了
A storm is comin'!
抱歉我迟到了
Sorry I'm late!
妈的 你跑得太慢了
Damn, you run slow.
你应该穿上你的四轮溜冰鞋
You should have brought your roller skates.
那是单排轮溜冰鞋
They were roller blades.
它们不一样
It's different.
你的车在哪 表弟
So... where's your ride at, primo?
我把车借给我的女性朋友了
I let my homegirl borrow it.
不过别担心 没问题的
But don't worry, I got you.
我叫辆优步就行
I'll call us an Uber.
优步就像是未来的出租车
Uber is like the taxi of the future.
优步就像是未来的出租车
Uber is like the taxi of the future.
我知道优步是什么 傻瓜
I know what Uber is, pendejo.
你这语气 好像我是傻子一样
Eh, talking to me like that.
其实监狱里也有优步
Actually, they have Uber in prison.
你没听错 他的名字叫桑普
Yeah. His name is Thumper.
要是你给他一包烟
And if you give him a pack of cigarettes,
他就会像这样载着你到处走
he'll carry you around, like, hey.
非常方便
It's pretty convenient.
该死 老弟 我好久没见到你了
Damn, my boy. I haven't seen you forever.
不过说真的
Hey, for real though,
为什么你身材还像19岁
why does your body still look 19
但却长了张56岁的脸 傻瓜
but your face looks 56, fool?
是啊
Yup.
你长了张爱德华·詹姆斯·奥莫斯的脸
You got Edward James Olmos' face.
美国演员 代表作《黑帮大时代》
欢迎回来 傻瓜 我也很想你
Welcome back, fool. I missed you too.
别这么恶心 我们是家人
Don't be nasty, alright? We're family.
我才不要跟你搞这一套
I don't get down like that.
好 行吧
Cool. Yeah. Okay.
我要揍扁你 迈克尔
I'm gonna beat your ass, Michael!
艾登 过来
Hey, hey, Aiden. Come here.
你得小心一点 好吗
Gotta be more careful, alright?
你差点弄坏了我和我妈妈的照片
You almost just broke this photo of me and my mom.
我会原谅你 因为你还是小孩
I'm gonna forgive you because you're a little homie.
但这要是在四级监狱
But if this was a level four yard,
我就会直接捅你一刀
I would've stabbed you.
明白了吗
You understand?
明白了
Yeah.
好的
Okay.
过来吧 抱抱我 我是你叔叔路易斯
Now, come here. Give me a hug. I'm your tío Luis, alright?
我爱你 小子
I love you, mijo.
晚饭好了 快趁着菜凉之前过来吃饭
胡里奥 胡里奥
Julio. Julio!
别这么没礼貌
路易斯是我们的客人
坐那边吧 坐我旁边
谁把墨西哥小矮人请来这了
Eh, who let the Mexican Oompa Loompa in here, huh?
小矮人
Oompa!
为什么我看到屋顶上有防水布
Hey, what's up with that tarp I saw on the roof?
暴风雨就要来了
我们的屋顶漏水
胡里奥 你得打电♥话♥叫唐·洛伦佐来修
不用 阿姨
我能修好屋顶
不用担心
真的吗 那太好了
你也许可以教教胡里奥
这家伙的手就像个摆设
对啊 教教这家伙
Yeah, teach his ass.
这个傻瓜连乐高积木都不会拼
This fool can't even build Legos.
我最起码能修好屋顶来报答你们
It's the least I could do to repay you.
报答你们让我住在这
你要在这住多久都行
慢慢开始新生活
谢谢你 阿姨
那你有什么关于开始新生活的计划吗
其实 我有一些好消息
Actually, I have some exciting news.
我已经成了"要抱不要暴"的核心人物
I've kinda become a big deal at Hugs Not Thugs
我们现在是洛杉矶第五大帮派改造中心
which is now the fifth largest gang rehabilitation center in Los Angeles.
总之 我走了后门 可以给路易斯搞个名额
Anyway, I pulled a few strings and I was able to get Luis a spot.
我会成为你的个案管♥理♥员♥ 帮你找到新工作
Imma be your case manager, help you find a new career.
你能个案管理个蛋蛋 小子
You can case manage these nuts, homie.
是啊 胡里奥 你才是那个该正经过日子的人
Yeah, Julio, you're the one who needs to get your life together.
你的钱都用来买♥♥了愚蠢的漫画书
Like, you waste all your money buying dumbass comic books
我还在你房♥间里看到了光盘
and I literally saw CDs in your room.
这年头哪个傻子他妈还花钱听音乐啊
Like, who the fuck pays for music, idiot?
我就喜欢实体播放器
I like physical media.
妈妈 你为什么让他免费住在这里
Yeah, Mom, how come you let him stay here for free?
我成年以后你就让我付房♥租了
You made me start paying rent after my quincea?era.
就连我的成人礼都是我自己掏的钱
You made me pay for my quincea?era.
他帮助迷失的灵魂
他是我的骄傲
他真的能帮到你 路易斯
不 别担心我 阿姨
Nah, don't worry about me, tía.
我自己能找着工作的
I can find a job on my own.
而且我刚出狱 我想先享受享受
Plus, I just got out, you know, I wanna kick it first.
路易斯 你不觉得你妈妈想让你好好过日子吗
索菲亚非常爱你
你不能待在这里浪费人生
所以我猜如果他想留在这里
So I guess if he wants to stay here,
那他就得加入"要抱不要暴"
then he has to join Hugs Not Thugs.
对不对 妈妈
没错
抓紧时间 我们快迟到了
Hurry up, we're gonna be late.
你车呢
Where's your ride at?
你开我的车去圣地亚哥了
You took my car to San Diego?
你不是说只是办点小事吗
I thought you needed to run a few errands.
我怎么就不能去圣地亚哥办事了
People can run errands in San Diego.
你不要种族歧视
Don't be racist.
你♥他♥妈♥在圣地亚哥能有什么事
What the fuck kind of errands are you running in San Diego?
我♥干♥什么关你屁事
None of your business what kind of errands.
你怎么老是多管闲事 请尊重我的隐私 回见
Always so nosy. Respect my boundaries. Bye.
玛姬是个好女孩
真不知道你为什么跟她掰了
她是你前女友吗 她这是在利用你啊 兄弟
She's your ex? Ah, she's using you, bro.
你当心点
Look at it closely.
我们还是有来往的 时不时的
We still hook up. Sometimes.
那你男朋友不吃醋吗
Doesn't that make your boyfriend jealous?
他真可怜
I feel for him.
你们都该为今天能坐在这里感到骄傲
You should all be proud to be sitting here today,
因为这意味着你们已经逃离了
mainly because it means you've escaped
我们种族主义 阶级主义政♥府♥建立的
the corrupt for-profit prison industrial complex
腐♥败♥的盈利性监狱工业园区
put in place by our racist, classist government.
而且还因为你已经迈出了
But also because you've taken the first step
把握自己生活的第一步
towards gaining control of your life.
现在 第二步是对精神和毅力的考验
Now, the second step is a test of great spiritual and mental fortitude.
你们必须要烤出
You must bake
一个美味的纸杯蛋糕
a delicious cupcake.
什么鬼 搞什么
What? What?
胡里奥 搞什么飞机 老弟
Yo. Julio, what the fuck, man?
还以为你能让我设计太阳能电池板之类的
Thought you said I'd be designing solar panels and shit.