这个傻瓜（2022）

老兄 我们只有把这些纸杯蛋糕
Hey, dawg, the only way we can afford that program
卖♥♥给当地超♥市♥ 才能负担得起这个项目
is by selling these cupcakes to local supermarkets.
大家喜欢从前帮派成员那里买♥♥纸杯蛋糕
People love buying cupcakes from ex-gang members.
唯一比我们卖♥♥更多甜点的
The only nonprofit that sells
非营利组织是女童子军
more sweets than us are the Girl Scouts.
如果女童子军也开始在脸上纹身 我们就完蛋了
If the Girl Scouts ever start getting face tattoos, we're fucked.
这简直就是剥削啊
Hey, this is like some exploitation shit.
伙计们 这不就是监狱劳动嘛
It's like prison labor, homies.
我们应该成立工会
We oughta unionize.
都给老子闭嘴
Shut the fuck up!
我知道你们这帮兔崽子为什么不想烤蛋糕
Now I know why you bitches don't wanna bake cupcakes.
这跟穿粉色围裙没有任何关系
See, it ain't got nothing to do with the pink apron.
而是因为在内心深处
It's 'cause deep down inside,
你们这些混♥蛋♥害怕失败
you motherfuckers is afraid to fail.
因为这不是你们的地盘
'Cause this ain't your world.
这是我的地盘
This is my world.
这里是纸杯蛋糕的世界
Cupcake world.
我是纸杯蛋糕世界里的纸杯蛋糕女孩
I'm a cupcake girl in a cupcake world.
化用《Big Big World》歌♥词
进了纸杯蛋糕的地盘就得守这里的规矩
And you will not come in here and disrespect my cupcake world.
贱♥人♥
Bitch.
谢谢你 珀西·威廉姆斯主厨
Thank you, Chef Percy Williams.
他一开始和你们一样
He started out just like all of you
然后他参加了我们的烹饪课程
then he went through our culinary program,
现在他是彩糖蛋糕店的糕点师
and now he is a gourmet pastry chef at Sprinkles.
一家连锁纸杯蛋糕店
彩糖蛋糕还差不多
Well, I'll fuck with some Sprinkles.
好了 废话少说
A'ight, now enough of this bullshit.
我们开始上烘焙课吧
Let's get our bake on.
拥抱我
你为什么翘课
Why'd you bounce?
老弟 那个什么烘焙课太丢人了好吗
Dawg, that cupcake shit is embarrassing, alright?
那是我妈以前常干的事
That's stuff my mom used to do.
接下来呢 你想让我给你织毛衣吗
What's next, you want me to knit you a sweater or what?
这叫艺术治疗
It's called art therapy,
今天下午两点半你就要上这门课
and that's on your schedule for 2:30 today.
而且这门课其实很有意思
And actually, it's really fun.
我去 你脾气挺大啊
Damn, you're moody.
你来大姨妈了吗
You on the rag or what?
我靠 你这家伙不会怀孕了吧
Oh, shit, fool, you're pregnant?
我能摸摸孩子吗
Can I touch the baby?
快看 它在踢我
Aye, mira, look, it's kicking.
你真♥他♥妈♥无知
You're fucking ignorant.
现在不是2005年了
It's not 2005.
蜘蛛侠早就不是托比·马奎尔演了
Tobey Maguire ain't Spider-Man anymore.
在我脑海里 时间永远是2005年
It'll always be 2005 up here, my boy!
听着 如果你连一个纸杯蛋糕都烤不好
Listen, if you can't even bake me a cupcake,
那我就得把你踢出项目
I'm gonna have to cut you loose.
然后你就得从我家搬出去
Then you have to move out of my house.
我是爱之深责之切 大少爷
Tough love, playboy.
谢天谢地终于有个男人来修理房♥子了
哥们儿 等你干完那些环保基佬的破事
Hey, fool, when you're done with that gay Captain Planet shit,
我可以教你干点爷们的活
I can teach you how to do some man shit.
垃圾分类怎么就基佬了
How's recycling gay?
别傻了 好吗 你知道为什么
Don't play stupid, alright? You know why.
我现在感觉精力充沛
Damn, now I'm feeling all energized and shit.
你把哑铃放哪了
Where do you keep the weights at?
我想健身
I wanna work out.
我没有哑铃
I don't have any weights.
我一般都是跑步锻炼
I mostly just run for exercise.
难怪你的肥婆前女友老是偷你的车
No wonder your torta ex-lady always steals your car.
快点 加速
Come on, pick up the pace.
做纸杯蛋糕可不会长肌肉
You don't get all swole from making cupcakes.
太他妈重了
It's fucking heavy!
拜托 液体不重 只是水而已
Hey, liquids ain't heavy. It's just water.
你要跟我学的还多着呢
Damn, you still got a lot to learn from me.
你还像个小屁孩一样
You're like a little kid still.
或许我才该做你的个案管♥理♥员♥
Maybe I'm the one that should be your caseworker.
去你的 我不做了
Fuck this. I'm done!
不不不 你只是需要凉快一下
Nah, nah, nah. You just need to cool off.
走起
Here.
爽吧
Toma!
路易斯
Hey, Luis.
我要和你道歉
I wanna apologize.
昨天做纸杯蛋糕时我对你要求太严格了
I went too hard on you about the cupcakes yesterday.
重要的是尽力而为
The important thing is, is that you're trying your best.
以防万一你尽力的结果...不尽如人意
Just in case your best isn't... the best.
你们就像这湿乎乎的面团一样恶心人
You are all disgusting wet batter.
但是这些恶心的湿面团
But out of that disgusting wet batter
可以变成漂亮的纸杯蛋糕
can rise a beautiful cupcake.
你们得弄清楚自己的动力何在
You just have to figure out what your motivation is.
或许是为了你爱的人
Maybe you're doing this for somebody you love.
又或许你是带着怨恨在做
Or maybe you're just doing it out of spite.
但世界上大多数美好事物都诞生于怨恨
Hell, most good things in this world was done out of spite.
因为怨恨英国人 才有了美国
America started out of spite for the fuckin' Brits.
因为讨厌可口可乐 才有百事可乐
Pepsi started out of spite for motherfuckin' Coca-Cola.
雪碧
Sprite,
雪恨
spite!
你们拥有改变这个世界的力量
You have the power to make a difference in this world.
这些励志鸡汤说得我都渴了
All this motivational speaking is making me thirsty!
该死
Goddamn!
快给我来瓶雪碧
Yo, somebody give me some damn Sprite!
主厨
Hey, chef.
我做好了
I'm done over here.
不劳您费心了 主厨
Don't worry, chef.
我来试吃
I'll taste test it.
这玩意儿好吃到爆 兄弟
Yeah, well, this shit's gonna be bomb, homie.
不信你试试
Trust that.
这我就不知道了
Hmm. I don't know.
这个蛋糕尝起来充满暴♥力♥怨恨
I taste a lot of thug in this.
没有多少爱意
But not a lot of hug.
你最好再试试
Guess you better try again.
-你♥他♥妈♥瞎说 -伙计
- You fucking liar. - Hey, dawg,
我们这里对纸杯蛋糕的要求很高
we just have a really high standard for cupcakes here.
做好纸杯蛋糕并非易事
Making cupcakes ain't no cakewalk.
滚蛋 去你的纸杯蛋糕
Man, fuck you and fuck your cupcakes.
你个基佬
Gay boy.
基佬 你认真的吗
Gay boy? Are you for real?
这已经不好笑了 蠢货
Nobody finds that shit funny anymore, dumbass.
这混♥蛋♥像个高中生一样无知又狂妄
This motherfucker got that 10th grade ignorance.
现在早就不是2005年了
It's not 2005 no more.
去你的 你们一群傻♥逼♥
Man, fuck you. Fuck all you fools.
我受够了这个傻♥逼♥项目
I'm done with this stupid-ass program.
我好心好意想帮你 你就这样对我
That's what I get for being nice and trying to help your ass.
你得了吧 别在那装好人了
You know what? I can smell that nice guy bullshit a mile away.
你根本不在乎我
You don't give a fuck about me.
别再假惺惺的了 来给我一拳啊
Why don't you drop the fake shit and swing on me, perro, huh?
我知道你想 来啊贱♥人♥
I know you want to. Come on, bitch.
用你最大的力气打我 你个懦夫
Hit me with your best shot, you fucking pussy.
好吧
Alright, fine.
你妈妈生病时 你没能陪在她身边
When your mom got sick, you weren't there for her
因为你做了蠢事在坐牢
because you were in prison for doing dumb shit.
这家伙可真冷血
This fool's coldblooded.
千万别和他讲你的生活
Hey, don't ever tell this fool nothing about your life.
我真该死
Fuck me.
这个纸杯蛋糕很美味
Now, that is one delicious cupcake.
为什么要骗你可怜的表哥呢
Why did you lie to your poor cousin?
我只是想帮他
Look, I'm just trying to help his ass.
但他从不听我的话
But that fool won't listen to me.
他依然把我当小孩
He still sees me as a little kid.
胡里奥 我有没有和你说过
Julio, did I ever tell you about
我这辈子做过的最糟糕的事
the worst thing I've ever done in my life?