英文系主任（2021）

你要争取终身职位
You're going up for tenure.
我是这个系的主任
I-- I'm chair of this department.
院长支持我 所以让我们帮你通过审核
The dean has my back, so let's just get your case through,
然后给这个地方带来翻天覆地的改变
and then let's fucking shake this place up.
该死
Shit.
男性冒险的叙事
The male adventure narrative?
好 还有人想说吗
Sure. Anybody else?
当我们谈论美国文艺复兴时 什么…
When we talk about the American Renaissance, what--
好了
Okay.
自从我们的课程合并后 我们就在追赶进度
We're playing catch up here since our lectures merged.
-能帮我发吗 -当然
You wanna help hand these out? - Sure.
对了 那位是麦凯教授
That's Professor McKay, by the way,
她非常有风度 同意加入我们的课堂
who has graciously agreed to join our class.
多布森教授
Professor Dobson?
你没事吧
Are you okay?
"爱是盲目的"
"Love is blind."
是谁让这句话脍炙人口的
Who popularized the phrase?
你们可能都猜得到了
You can all probably guess.
乔叟
Chaucer.
他也被誉为现代英语之父
Otherwise known as the father of modern English.
你们也许会感到惊讶 原来我们日常用语中
You'll be astonished how many images and idioms
有那么多意象和习语
from our everyday speech
是直接来源于14世纪的
come to us directly from the 14th century.
你们不需要有答案
You don't have to have an answer.
比起答案 我对你们的问题更感兴趣
I-- I'm more interested in your questions than your answers.
重要的不是固定分♥析♥
It's… It's not about having a fixed analysis.
我早上起床的时候 会非常期待来到课堂上
When… When… When I get up in the morning, I'm excited to come to class,
不是因为我可以教你们 而是因为可以向你们学习
not because I get to teach you, but because I… I get to learn from you.
金教授...
Professor Kim…
...你愿意签字吗
…would you be willing to sign?
我们想给管理部门施压
We're trying to put some pressure on the administration.
这不是学生请♥愿♥书吗
Isn't this a student petition?
对 但我们也在努力争取 一些有色人种教职员的支持
Yeah, but we're trying to get some faculty of color on board too.
没问题
Sure thing.
这样可以吗
Is this okay?
行 再次谢谢你
Yeah. Thanks again.
其实我在"死亡和现代主义"课程的 等候名单上
I'm actually…xa0I'm on the wait list for, Death and Modernism.
可以帮我签个名吗
Would you mind signing?
谢谢
Thanks.
我哥哥告诉我 应该为了你来这所学校
My brother told me you're the reason to come here.
-你哥哥叫什么名字 -杰西·艾森斯塔特 记得他吗
What's your brother's name? - Jesse Eisenstadt. Remember him?
你就像是我们家的守护神
In my family, you're like a household god.
"我老了 我老了"
"I grow old, I grow old"
"我应该学新潮 卷起我的裤脚"
"I shall wear the bottoms Of my trousers rolled"
怎么了
What?
我有读书
I read.
天啊
Holy shit.
我简直没办法思考
I mean, Ixa0can't hear myself think.
是的 太糟糕了
Yes, it's… terrible.
走吧
Let's go.
好
Okay.
他们要逼我退休
They're putting me out to pasture.
要不然这还能是因为什么
I mean… what else could this be?
这就是在酝酿"教育法修正案"第九条的官司
This is a Title IX lawsuit waiting to happen.
你怎么知道
How do… How do you know?
因为我们要冲到那边 报告这事触犯了法律
Because we're gonna march over there and report it as such.
既然有第九条办公室 不用它的话要它干嘛
What's the point in having a Title IX office if we don't use it?
我会亲自去报案 这样就像是我出的主意了
I'll make the report myself. It'll be like it was my idea.
我们的第一位女系主任 已经是个惹是生非的人了
Our first female chair, already a troublemaker.
我为你骄傲
I'm proud of you.
先别谢我
Don't thank me yet.
我没谢你
I didn't.
你上一次检查学生评估是什么时候
when's the last time you checked out your student evals?
1987年
1987.
你能看看吗
Will you?
我拒绝迎合消费者需求
I don't cater to… to consumer demands.
-我不想成为万人迷 -那你已经大获成功了
I'm not trying to be popular. - Well, then you're wildly succeeding.
我们系把入学人数拉垮了
Our department is hemorrhaging enrollments.
我们得把学生留住
We have to retain students,
不然…
or…
不然怎么着
Or? Or what?
拉尔森院长把前景描绘得非常不祥
Larson just painted a very ominous picture.
比平常更不祥吗
More ominous than usual?
对
Yeah.
你有向所有人提出要求吗
Are you asking everyone?
有啊
Yes.
比尔那一边需要稍微施施压 但我有
I mean, it'll take some coercion in Bill's case, but yes.
他很崇拜你
He worships you.
-怎么了 -不 就是…
What? - No, it's just--
我们之间的气氛还是很诡异
It's still weird between us.
当然了 笨蛋
Of course it is, you moron.
莎伦去世了…
Sharon died…
所以现在没人拦在你们之间了
so now there's no guardrail.
抱歉 我迟到了
Sorry I'm late.
稍等我一下
Give me one second.
嗨
Hi.
好了
Okay.
-我的加密狗呢 -就在你手里啊
Where's my dongle? - Your dongle's in your hand.
-怎么会在我手里 -我放的
How'd that happen? - I put it there.
好了
All right.
首先我们来看看几张我合成的图像
We are going to start with a few images I've assembled,
要是这东西能配合我一下就好了
if I can get this thing to cooperate.
彭布罗克的英文老师把自己电死了 当时他在…
Pembroke English teacher electrocutes himself while--
你还好吗
Are you okay?
莎伦
Sharon?
我不知道我是要拉屎 还是她要出来了
I can't tell whether I have to take a shit or whether she's coming.
我想要来的是我的高♥潮♥
I think I might be cumming.
别逗我笑
Don't make me laugh.
不 我是个好商人 我们要经营一个小的副业…
No, I'm a good businessman. We'll run a little side--
-多布森教授 -该死
Professor Dobson? - Fuck.
抱歉
Sorry about that.
好吧 这是莱拉
Okay. This is Lila.
她正在撰写一篇出色的毕业论文
She is writing a brilliant dissertation.
我很快就会读完
Which I will finish reading soon.
-欢迎来上现代文学课 -是"死亡和现代主义"
Welcome to Contemporary Lit. - Death and Modernism.
欢迎来到"死亡与现代主义"课程
Welcome to Death and Modernism.
我通常会让他们把"白鲸记"里 最喜欢的一句话发到推特上
I usually have them tweet their favorite line from Moby-Dick.
推特
Tweet?
上学期"叫我以实玛利"这句
Last semester "Call me Ishmael"
跟"我从地狱之心刺向你"打了平手
tied with "From hell's heart I stab at thee."
不 我想让他们沉浸在故事之中
No, no, no, I want them to become absorbed in the story,
沉浸在措辞的美妙之中
in the beauty of the phrasing.
我是说 如果他们做的 不过是寻找最华丽的段落 我…
I mean, if all they're doing is looking for the flashiest soundbite, I…
这不过是练习而已 所以…
It's just an exercise, so…
不费吹灰之力就能完成
It's low-hanging fruit.
这是与他们建立感情的方式
It's a way of connecting with them.
我发现它能启发精读的技能
And I find that it mobilizes the skills of close reading.
你是研究梅尔维尔的学者 所以…
You're the Melville scholar, so…
-你的椅子怎么了 -你是怎么进来的
What happened to your chair? - How did you get in here?
被小个子韩裔女人压垮了
Couldn't bear the weight of a little Korean lady?
你是怎么进来的
How did you get in?
把钥匙给我 给我
Give me those keys. Give them to me.
-给 你拿去吧 -天啊 别闹了
There, you can have them. - My-- Stop it.
把钥匙给我 你已经不是系主任了
Give me the keys. You're not the chair anymore.
-给我… -走开
Gimme-- - Get off!
就在这里呢
They're right here.
天啊
My God!
过来
Come here.
你…我拿到了真棒
You-- I totally have them! Yes! Yes!
-该死 -我感觉到了
Shit! - I can feel them!