英文系主任（2021）

暂令停课
Temporary suspension.
我的课吗
My classes?
-你被禁止进校园了 -什么
You're not allowed on campus. - What?
他们得给学生们一些交代
They had to give something to the students,
特别是在跟校园警♥察♥起了争执之后
especially after the altercation with campus police.
是拉尔森为了举办那破捐款活动 让警♥察♥到四方院清场的
Larson asked them to clear the quad for a fucking donor event.
就因为那个大嘴巴 我得跟校园警♥察♥归为一伙儿吗
Because of that windbag, I'm getting lumped in with campus police?
太不公平了 那是他的错 你说清楚了吗
That's completely unfair. That's on him. Did you make that clear?
-你有为我辩护吗 -你没权…
Did you defend me? - You don't--
你知道我要对付什么吗
Do you know what I've been dealing with?
学生们哭着过来…
Students coming and crying and…
我没想到当系主任 要对付的是这种破事
This isn't what I wanna be dealing with as chair.
我该怎么办
What should I do?
你需要正式道歉
You're going to need to formally apologize.
太对不起了 我…
I'm so sorry. I--
不是对我道歉 蠢货
No, not to me, dumbass!
我是说 你也该对我道歉
I mean yes, to me,
但他们要组织一场纪律听证会
but they're putting together a disciplinary hearing,
你需要写一份能够发出去的道歉信
and you have to write an apology that can be disseminated.
天啊 什么事啊
Jesus. What is--
是珠珠的学校打来的 是在耍我吗等等
It's Ju Ju's school. You gotta be kidding me. Hold on.
你好
Hello.
是的 我是
Yes, this is she.
等等 打还是咬
Wait, hit or bit?
你们都被停课了
You're both suspended.
我要去上班了 你们都得写信
I'm going to work, and you are going to write letters.
珠珠 你要向阿丁道歉
Ju Ju, you will apologize to Adin.
比尔 你要向所有人道歉
Bill, you will apologize… to everyone.
我会在这里待一整晚
I'm gonna be here all night.
下一堂课前 大家都得 把"赦罪修士的故事"读完
For next time, everyone needs to come having finished "The Pardoner's Tale."
偷懒的人是得不到赦免的
No pardons for slackers.
你好啊
Hi.
我成功做到了我们说的那件事
I was able to do that thing we talked about.
我没想到你真的…
I didn't think you were really--
我是开玩笑的
I was joking.
我还以为你是假装开玩笑 但其实是认真的
I thought you were pretending to joke but were actually serious.
幸好我没有开玩笑说我们应该杀了他
Good thing I didn't joke we should kill him.
-好吧 -所以你找到他了
All right. - So you tracked him down?
不完全是 但是我黑进了评价教授网
Not exactly. But I was able to hack into the Rate My Professor website.
你黑了网站 不行 我不能跟任何显得不当
Hack? No, I can't even be tangentially connected
或非法的行为 扯上丝毫关系
to anything that might seem improper conduct or illegal.
-但你想知道是谁吗 -想
But you wanna know who it is? - Yes.
好
Okay.
有人从人文图书馆发表了两次评价
It was posted twice from the Humanities Library,
两次都是在下午5点到6点间发的
both times between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.
"让这门课去死223"
EffThisClass223?
不 "乔叟去死@gmail.com"
No, EatMeChaucer@gmail.com.
假设我们在图书馆 当他再发帖…
If he posts again, and, say, we were at the library…
是 可以的 但你得认得出那个人
Yeah. I mean, you'd have to recognize the guy.
那应该不太难
That shouldn't be too hard.
你抓到他后会怎么办
What are you gonna do if you catch him?
乔恩开玩笑地说"毁了他"
"Destroy him," Joan said jokingly,
但她正是这么打算的
when that's exactly what she was planning to do.
嗨 我是夏洛特罗 来自"彭布罗克日报"
Hi, I'm Charlotte Lo from The Pembroke Daily.
-我给你留了几条言 -对哦 你好
I left you a few messages. - Right. Hi.
我不想对整件事发表意见 好吗
I… I don't wanna comment on the whole thing, okay?
你的立场是什么 你明天要参加抗♥议♥吗
Well, where do you stand? Are you joining the protest tomorrow?
我想大家会很想听听你的想法
I think people would appreciate hearing your point of view.
抱歉
Sorry.
你最初是出于什么原因 想请比尔多布森当你的导师
What made you pursue Bill Dobson as a mentor in the first place?
我不能回答 好吗
I… I can't answer, okay?
我的系主任已经训了我一顿
The chair of my department gave me an earful
让我不要跟任何人谈论这件事
about not talking to anyone about this.
-天啊 -她不做饭
Jesus. - She doesn't cook.
-那我给你煮鸡蛋吧 -我不吃鸡蛋
I guess I'm making you some eggs, then. - I don't eat eggs.
是因为你不喜欢鸡蛋 还是因为你没尝过
Because you don't like 'em, or you never tried 'em?
两者都有
Both.
如果你尝一口 我就给你一块钱
I'll give you a dollar if you try a bite.
说出用一美元能买♥♥到的东西
Name one thing you can buy with a dollar.
葡萄干
Raisins?
进来
Come in.
金教授 你有空吗
Professor Kim, you got a sec?
没问题 你进来吧 达斯汀
Sure thing. Come in, Dustin.
嗨 卡普里
Hi, Capri.
坐吧
Take a seat.
不用了
We're okay.
怎么了
What's up?
政♥治♥学系刚刚拒绝授予 该系唯一的有色人种教师终身教职
Poli Sci just denied tenure to the only person of color in their department.
我们担心麦凯教授
We're worried about Professor McKay.
他们是保守的混♥蛋♥
They're conservative assholes.
黑人教职员工要适应不同的标准
Black faculty are held to different standards.
-我知道 -他们的研究被认为不够严谨
I know. - Their research isn't considered rigorous.
大家认为他们不够有条理 跟同事气氛没那么融洽
They're assumed to be more disorganized, less collegial.
我知道
I know.
他们被邀请去同事家吃饭的机会更小
They get invited less often to their colleagues' houses for dinner.
我知道
I know.
相信我 我知道
Trust me, I know.
有320名学生签署了这封信 证明麦凯教授带来的影响
This is a letter signed by 320 students about the impact Professor McKay has had.
比如她支持有色人种学生
The way she's supported students of color.
如果她的终身教职申请被拒 我们计划采取行动
If she is denied tenure, we plan to take action.
你看起来风度翩翩啊
Don't you look dashing.
我瘦了一点 所以我把这袍子改小了
I lost a little weight, so I had this taken in,
但看看袖子被改成什么样了
but look what they did to the sleeves.
这不是钟型的了 成长方形了
I mean, this isn't bell-shaped, this is oblong.
成了硕士袍
This is a master's gown.
大家都知道你有博士学位
Everyone knows you have a doctorate.
要不我让劳丽看看 能不能帮你订件新的
Would you like me to see if Laurie can look into ordering you a new one?
-那我要付多少钱 -学校会付的
How much is that gonna run me? - On the house.
真的吗
Really?
-我们的秘密 -那谢谢你啊 丫头
Our secret. - Well, thanks, kiddo.
你给小亚写的终身教职推荐信
Your tenure letter for Yaz
会包括关于她的教学的材料吧
is going to include material on her teaching, right?
当然会啊
Why wouldn't it?
我觉得你要强调 她的教学方法很有新意 这很重要
I think it's important that you highlight how innovative her pedagogy is.
翻转课堂式教学…
The flipped classroom--
我相信在今天的研讨会上 会展示出样本
Well, I believe a specimen of that will be on display in today's seminar.
你能提一下吗
Could you maybe include a mention of it?
听着 她现在很受欢迎
Look, she is hot shit right now.
她在推特上有超过8000名粉丝 这比我们所有人加起来还要多
She has over 8,000 followers on Twitter. That's more than all of us put together.
你知道谁会根据粉丝数量 评价自己吗
You know who judged himself by the number of his followers?
-吉姆·琼斯 大卫·考雷什 -小亚不是邪教领袖 艾略特
Jim Jones. David Koresh. - Yaz isn't a cult leader, Elliot.
耶稣只有12个信徒 我想这么判断 他就很失败了
Jesus only had 12 followers. I suppose that makes him a loser.
因为有了她 我们的学生变得兴奋
Because of her, our students are excited
对150年前写的文学作品有了兴趣
about literature that was written 150 years ago.
我知道在你的黄金时期…
I know in your heyday--
你怎么知道现在不是我的黄金时期
How do you know right now is not my heyday?
听着 我不想在这里仗势欺人
Look, I don't want to pull rank here,
但作为系主任 我需要你这么做
but as the chair, I need you to do this.
-你果然摆起了架子 -我不是以你的主管的身份说的
You sure settled into that role. - Not saying this as your supervisor.
-主管 -这样对于我们系来说是最好的
Supervisor? - It's the best thing for the department.
小亚也实至名归 所以你这么做就行了
And the right thing to do forxa0Yaz, so just do it.
你的屁♥股♥还是很性感
You still got a top-notch rear end.
你的屁♥股♥就很塌了
Wish I could say the same for you.
鲸鱼代表什么
What does the whale represent?
加尔文主义
Calvinism?
-不 是资本主义 -白的程度
No, capitalism. - Whiteness.
白人至上主义
White supremacy.
多说点
Say more.
"捏呀 捏呀 捏呀"
"Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze!"
"我捏了整整一个上午 捏着那些鲸油
"All the morning long, I squeezed that sperm