英文系主任（2021）

没事
Yeah.
你知道梅尔维尔去世时 "纽♥约♥时♥报♥"发表了 一条简短的死亡通告吗
When Melville died, the Times just published a tiny death notice?
他们其实拼错了"白鲸记"的书名
They actually misspelled the title of Moby-Dick.
-M-O-B-I-E -变成"I-E"结尾的了
M-O-B-I-E. - I-E.
-这让我很难过 -我也是
It upsets me. - Well, that makes two of us.
-谢谢 -好的
Thanks. - Yeah.
你忘了你的…
You forgot your--
这是水气球
This is a water balloon.
为了探索空气阻力和物理
In order to explore air resistance and physics,
你要做的就是接住它
what you do is you catch it.
接得好太完美了真厉害…
Good catch! That was perfect! That was so awes-
你这个小…
You li--
够了
That's it!
你完蛋了
You're a goner.
我来了...
I'm coming!xa0I'm coming!xa0I'm coming!
你要去哪里
Where are you going?
珠珠 过来 你回来
Ju Ju, come on, come back.
我们去给妈妈惊喜吧
Let's go surprise Mommy!
我不能去 我被禁止踏入校园了
I can't. I'm not allowed to be on campus.
搞什么鬼啊
What the fuck?
不准在图书馆睡觉 这是新规定
No sleeping in the library. It's a new rule.
好吧
Okay.
喂 好吧 计划是什么
So, what's the plan?
什么
Wha--
叫你呢
You!
是他吗
Is that him?
等等 该死
Wait! Goddamn it.
等等 等等
Wait. Wait!
快
Come on!
-史蒂夫 -汉布林教授
Steve. - Professor Hambling?
你给我听好了
Now you listen to me.
你可能不喜欢我
I may not be your cup of tea,
但"坎特布里故事集"是天才之作
but The Canterbury Tales is a work of genius.
拈花惹草的丈夫 水性杨花的主妇
Philandering husbands, horny housewives,
放屁 拉屎 阴毛
farting, shitting, pubic hair.
有个可怜的笨蛋求一个女人亲他 最后跟她的屁♥眼♥做♥爱♥了
Some poor schmuck asked a woman for a kiss and ends up making out with her butthole.
我希望你也能这么走运
That's a fate I'm wishing for you.
-好了 -所以听着 把小嘴撅起来
Okay, okay. - So, you know, pucker up.
-你听清楚了吗 -你不必喜欢我
You hear what she's saying? - You don't have to like me.
但乔叟经历了600多年的文学批评 依然屹立不倒
But Chaucer has survived more than 600 years of literary criticism.
如果你不明白他很牛逼
And if you can't figure out that he's a badass,
那就别来上我的课了
then just stay the fuck out of my classroom.
牛逼死了
Dope City!
你下学期要教什么
What are you teaching next semester?
乔叟
Chaucer.
我会叫他撤回的
I'll ask him to pull back.
这只是篇草稿
It's just a draft.
他用有信头的纸来复印
He was making photocopies on letterhead.
-我确定他准备发出去了 -我不会让他这么做
Pretty sure he's ready to send it. - I promise I won't let him.
怎么了
What?
你有终身教职 我没有
You have tenure, I don't.
现在你还是系主任 我…
Now you're the chair too. I--
我不知道 我就是… 我不知道该说什么 不该说什么
I don't know, I'm not sure what's okay to say and what's not okay.
小亚 如果我之前没说清楚 我想让你直抒胸臆 那么…
Yaz, if I haven't made it clear that I want you to speak your mind, then--
那么我觉得是我严重失职
Then I… I consider that a serious failure on my part.
那让我太难受了
I mean, that kills me.
好
Okay.
这是在做什么
What are you doing?
这跟你的任务目标一致吗 还没摆脱这种乱七八糟的事吗
How does this align with your mission? I thought we moved beyond this bullshit.
我在大卫杜可尼这事上点头 这样他们就会在你的事上点头了
I am giving them David Duchovny, so they will give me you.
你不该为大卫杜可尼拉皮条
You shouldn't be pimping for David Duchovny.
-不 我知道… -也不应该让我站出来…
I know-- - I shouldn't be asked to stand out--
我在努力
I am trying.
我不觉得我接手的是英文系
I don't feel like I inherited an English Department.
我觉得有人把一枚定时炸♥弹♥交给了我
I feel like someone handed me a ticking time bomb
因为他们想确保定时炸♥弹♥ 是在女人手里炸开的
because they wanted to make sure a woman was holding it when it explodes.
比尔和我差不多是同一时间 开始在这里教书
Bill and I started teaching here around the same time.
每次艾略特碰到我们的时候
Whenever Elliot would bump into us,
他会拍拍比尔的背 请他去吃晚饭
he would clap Bill on the back and invite him over for dinner,
我心想 "你当我不存在吗"
and I was like, "Hello?"
底线是 他依然掌握很多体制权力
The bottom line is, he still has a lot of institutional power.
他没有安全感 因为没人上他的课了
He's insecure because no one takes his classes anymore.
对
Yeah.
不 我明白你为什么会可怜他
No, I see why you feel sorry for him.
他只能在过去40年统治这个行业
He only got to rule the profession for the last 40 years.
小亚…
Yaz…
珠珠
Ju Ju!
我是认真的
I'm serious.
珠珠
Ju Ju?
等等 那属于校园范围了 我不能进去
Wait. That is technically campus. I cannot be there.
不 珠珠 拜托
No, Ju Ju, please.
停
Stop!
我不能来这里我不能来学校
I can't be here! I can't be on campus!
多布森
Dobson.
别打退堂鼓啊
Don't back down.
美国有言论自♥由♥
Free speech in America.
天哪 你吓死我了 你来这里做什么
My God, you scared me. What are you doing here?
-我得… -你不能踏入校园
I gotta-- - You're not supposed to be on campus.
那些是我的讲义啊
Those are my lecture notes.
对 我…
Yes, I--
好 你别慌
Okay, please don't freak out.
拉尔森让大卫·杜可尼来教你的课
Larson asked David Duchovny to teach your class.
-什么 -作为客座讲师
What? -As, like, a… a guest lecturer.
只是上几堂课而已 等我们… 上到你的听证会就可以了
Just a few classes while we… Just until your hearing.
所以你要把讲义带回家 然后呢
So you were gonna take 'em home and then what?
邀请他来参加研讨会
Invite him over for a… a seminar?
我应该去他家 他有一间乡村别♥墅♥…
I'm supposed to go to his house. He has a country house--
搞什么鬼 这是真的吗
Jesus fucking Christ. Is this really happening?
你要把从我这偷来的笔记 送到大卫杜可尼家
You're taking my stolen notes to David Duchovny's house?
不 那是我的知识财产
No. That's my intellectual property.
我拿走你的笔记 是因为总得有人来教你的课
I am taking your notes because someone has to teach your class,
即使那个人是该死的大卫杜可尼
even if that someone is David fucking Duchovny.
更大的问题 会让你完蛋的问题
The larger issue, the one you're trying to blow by,
就是你哪儿都可以去 除了…
is that you're allowed everywhere except--
珠珠呢
Where's Ju Ju?
-珠珠 -快去
Ju Ju? - Go.
珠珠
Ju Ju!
-嗨 -亲爱的 你在做什么
Hi! - Sweetie, what are you doing?
-看着我们 别动 -别动了 不 亲爱的 看着我
Look at us. Stop. - Stop moving. No, honey, look at me.
-我想跳到比尔那 -别动
I wanna jump, to Bill.
-转向我 -那不明智
Turn to me. - That's not a good idea.
-一 -好了
One. - Okay.
-好了 -二
Okay, okay. - Two.
-等一下 -三
Hold on. Hold on. God! - Three!
好了
God.
-你吓到你妈妈了 -好 我们走
You scared your mama. - Okay, let's go.
-我们… -你吓着你妈妈了
Let's-- - You scared your mama.
-亲爱的 我们走吧 -住手 不
Sweetheart, let's go. - Stop it. No.
-比尔能来吗 -不行
Can Bill come? - No.
-今晚不行 -不 我们得走了
Not tonight. -No, we gotta leave.
-过来吃饭 -不行 亲爱的
Come for dinner. - No, sweetheart.
-来嘛 -我们得走了
Come! - We have got to leave.
-来嘛 -好了 上车吧
Come on! - Okay, to the car.
-妈妈 -上车吧
Mom! - To the car?
-好了 -上车吧
Yes. - To the car?
妈妈 你好矮
Mommy, you're so short.
也很可爱
And cute.
好了 行
Okay. Yeah.
你来吧 比尔
You do it, Bill.