诊疗中（2023）

我几乎没睡 你鼾声如雷
I barely slept. You snored like crazy.
不可能 我不打鼾
That's impossible. I don't snore.
是的 那一定是我 -没错
Right. Must've been me. -Yeah.
是的
Yeah.
再见 -再见
Bye. -Bye.
嗨 德雷克 好吗
Hey. How goes it, Derek?
很好 我老婆没任何缺点
Great! My wife has no faults.
为你高兴 兄弟
Happy for you, man.
早 怎么啦
Morning. What's going on?
你没说错 艾丽丝是喜欢肖恩
So you were right about Alice crushing on Sean.
等等 别动...
Wait, don't move. Don't move.
老天 -我的天 该死
Jesus Christ. -Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
莉兹 一大早的
It's so early, Liz.
快点...
Come on, come on.
真该死 -快...
Fuck me. -Come, come, come.
我们都说了 -我们说好一起说的
We fucking told you. -We were supposed to say it together.
很抱歉 我为...能嘲笑他而兴奋过度
I'm sorry. I just got-- I got so excited about roasting him.
你为何会在这里 -你问得还真巧
What are you doing here? -Funny you should ask.
我们昨晚喝得很醉 -“烂醉”
Last night, we got pretty twisted... -"Shmammered."
我其实会觉得很难为情
...and I would feel pretty self-conscious about it,
但我觉得这是冥冥中注定的
but I feel like this was meant to be.
就像老天计划好让你看到吉米的狼狈样
It's like God had a plan for you to see Jimmy eat shit.
天啊
Wow.
你知道吗 继续幸灾乐祸吧 因为你这样越久
You know what? Go ahead and gloat because the longer you do,
接保罗上班就迟到越久
the later you are to pick up Paul for work.
该死 天啊
Oh, fuck! Oh, no!
是的 注意安全 你这混♥蛋♥ -闭嘴
Yeah. Drive safe, you asshole. -Shut up!
希望他气得冲你呼呼叫
Hope he's so mad, he woofs at you!
有时当保罗气坏了 就会冲你呼呼叫
Sometimes Paul gets so mad, he woofs at you.
好的 听着 你信任肖恩 对吧 -是的 没错
Okay. Listen, you trust Sean, right? -I do, yeah.
那就不需要担心这爱慕的事
So don't sweat this crush thing.
我知道 但我会担心
I know. I mean, I will.
但别担心 -谢了 莉兹
But don't. -Thanks, Liz.
你丈夫在车道上睡着了
Your husband's asleep in the driveway.
他没妨碍任何人
He's not bothering anybody.
我想当个好外公 我能买♥♥什么给他做生日礼物
Just trying to be a good grandfather. What can I get for his birthday?
你有买♥♥多力多滋吗 -什么 是的 我买♥♥了
Did you get Doritos? -What? Yes, I got Doritos.
什么 -梅逊要多力多滋
What? -Mason wants Doritos.
作为生日礼物 -不是的
For his birthday? -No,
他想要一台Switch
he wants a Switch.
Switch是什么鬼东西
What the fuck is a Switch?
是一台他所有的朋友都有的游戏机
It's a gaming console that all of his friends have.
不如我给他钱
Why don't I get him some money?
他喜欢钱 不是吗
He likes money, doesn't he?
那当然 太好了
Sure. Great.
她到底在哪 -爸 谁到底在哪
Where is she? -Where's who, Dad?
最近我同事开车送我上班 但她现在还没到
Oh, my co-worker's been driving me to work, and she's not here.
为何由她开车送你上班
Why is she driving you to work?
她想有人陪
She wants company.
她要你陪她
And she chose you?
我在车里很有趣的 我会玩“打甲虫车”
I'm fun in a car. I do punch buggy.
拜托 发生什么事了 一切可好
Come on. What is going on? Is everything okay?
没事发生 只不过我的车拿去维修罢了
Nothing's going on. My car's in the shop, that's all.
等等 她到了 -爸
Wait. She's here. -Dad.
我们待会儿再聊 -再见
I'll talk to you later. -Bye.
我的天啊 保罗 真的非常抱歉
Oh, my gosh. Paul, I'm so, so sorry.
我只需要快快洗个澡并换件衣服
I just need to take a quick shower and change my clothes,
然后做杯绿色果汁 你要来一杯吗 非常抱歉
and then I'm gonna make a green juice. Do you want one? I'm so sorry.
呼
Woof.
难看极了
It's awful.
你真傻 我觉得很可爱
You're crazy. I think it's cute.
嘿 你们俩好吗
Hey. How are you two?
肖恩讨厌他的新驾照照片 告诉他照片很好看
Sean hates his new license photo. Tell him it's good.
好的
Okay.
肖恩 你的这张驾照照片看起来很棒
Sean, you look great in this license photo.
你的颧骨鼓鼓的...
Your cheekbones are poppin'. Poppin', poppin'.
而你是器官捐献者这一事实让你更迷人
And the fact that you're an organ donor makes you even hotter.
你为何要把气氛搞得如此奇怪
Why do you have to make things so weird?
我...这是件...奇怪的差事
I-- It was a-- It was a weird assignment.
老兄
Dude!
你没事吧
You okay?
是的 是我爸 他一直找我 说要聚聚
Yeah, it's my dad. He keeps hitting me up to get together.
他前一秒把我赶了出来 下一秒又来示好什么的
One minute, he's kicking me out. The next, he being all nice and shit.
肖恩 你应该生你♥爸♥的气 越久越好
Sean, you should stay mad at your dad for as long as you can.
真的吗 -假的
Really? -No.
别这么做 讨人厌
Don't do that. It's annoying.
听着 我能理解...我目前和保罗的关系
Look, I relate-- I'm in a really dysfunctional relationship
非常不融洽 但你知道吗
with Paul at the moment. But you know what?
要是只坐在这里怨恨 我们俩的事都不会有任何进展 对吧
Neither of us are getting anywhere just sitting here being resentful, right?
我还挺喜欢这样的
I mean, I kinda like it.
我知道 非常好
I know. It's so good.
但也许我们该投入其中 懂吗
But maybe we gotta, like, dive in, you know?
开始向前迈进
Get things moving forward.
你觉得我该去见我爸
You think I should see my dad?
是的 为何不呢 我们就勇敢点
Yeah, why not? You know what, let's be brave.
你我都一样 好吗
You and me, okay?
我们来成为这些关系中的主导吧
We'll grab these relationships by the balls, right?
就像...
Like--
还是这么奇怪
Still so fucking weird.
是挺奇怪的 老兄 -是的
It's pretty weird, man. -Yeah.
是很奇怪 从你...我的角度来看
I mean, it's weird when you-- when I see it.
当我质问他偷腥一事时 他一点歉意都没有
And when I confronted him about the cheating, he wasn't even sorry.
他说:“是的 又怎样 她很性感”
He was like, "Yeah, so? She's hot."
那是一场梦 这事从未发生过
That was a dream. It never happened.
是的 但为何我的潜意识里会有这想法
Yes, but where did my subconscious get the idea?
好的 是的 唐娜 这事我得站在马克这边
Okay, yeah. Donna, I'm gonna have to side with Mark here.
无需庆祝
Don't celebrate.
我能不能就开心一下下 -不能
Can I have just, like, a little joy? -No.
还有唐娜 这做梦的事
And Donna, the dream thing.
不如你小睡一下 看看梦中的马克是否会道歉
Why don't you just take a nap and see if dream Mark apologizes?
他不会的 梦中的马克是个混♥蛋♥
He won't. Dream Mark is an asshole.
但在我的梦里 你可是棒极了
Well, in my dreams, you're awesome.
唯一不同的是 你的手是一片片的披萨
The only difference is your hands are pizza slices
在我吃掉后会再长出来
that regenerate when I eat them.
梦就到此为止 好吗
We're done with dreams, all right?
在本次疗程剩下的时间里 不许再谈论做梦的事
No more talking about dreams for the rest of this session.
你们在结婚前一起生活了好几年
You lived together for years before you got married,
从未如此激烈争论过
and you never argued this much.
她之前没那么难搞 -这对事情没帮助
She wasn't as crazy. -That's not helpful.
我得分了 -别这样做
Point for me. -Don't do that.
没有计分制度
There is no point system.
我不知道你们从哪学来的 所以请别再说了
I don't know where you guys picked that up, so please stop.
听好了 当你们一起生活时
Listen, when you guys were living together,
我觉得你们的潜意识里 知道自己可以随时离开彼此
I think you guys knew subconsciously that you could leave.
但现在你们结婚了 所以你们之间所有的问题都被放大了
But now you're married, so all of your issues just get magnified.
我认为最好的办法 是你们俩
I think the best thing for you two to do
互相分享彼此的不安全感 并一起处理这些情绪
is share your insecurities with each other and process them together.
你和你丈夫有这么做吗
Do you and your husband do that?
当然有
You betcha.
“当然有” 谁会说“当然有”
"You betcha"? Who the fuck says "you betcha"?
瑞芭麦肯泰尔 -没错
Reba McEntire. -True.
我应该说“婚姻就是个痛苦的大坑
You know, what I should've said was, "Marriage is a big-ass pit of misery,
所以我才会离婚 因为它会慢慢地吸走你的灵魂
and that's why I got divorced because it slowly sucks away your soul
直到有一天你醒来后 发现竟然认不出镜子里的自己“
until you wake up one day and you don't even recognize yourself in the mirror."
我就该这么说
That's what the fuck I should've said.
不 你不该这么说 这太愚蠢了
No, you shouldn't say that. That's stupid.
别这样 保罗 让我开心点
Come on, Paul. Cheer me up a little bit.
拜托了 -加比
Please. -Gaby.
婚姻是一种早在人们寿命没那么长 就已建立起来了的制度
Marriage is an institution that was created back when people died young.
它建立在土地所有权和生育权之上
It was built on land ownership, and procreation.