皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

This week on Pete Versus Life...
本周精彩抢先看
the socially-challenged sports writing hopeful
这位大有前途的社恐体育作家
faces an old foe on tip-top form...
要面临一个顶级难缠的老问题
ex-flatmate Jake,
前室友 Jake
who once survived eight days on an Arctic ice floe
曾经因为和他的哈士奇产生不愉快
after a dispute with his huskies.
在一块北极浮冰上生存了八天
There's Jerome, the fashionista
时尚设计师 Jerome
who also works as an informal prostitute.
同时也是一位业余男妓
And girly girl Rachel, who loves cooking
少女Rachel 热爱厨艺
but is frightened of carrots.
但十分害怕胡萝卜
Let's see how he gets on in Pete Versus Life.
欢迎走进"皮特的糟糕生活"
Good evening, I'm Colin King.
大家晚上好 我是Colin King
And I'm Terry McIlroy.
我是Terry McIlroy
And a typical start to a party, this, for Pete.
我们来看看Pete的派对常态
He's not a great mingler
他并不是个社交男
and he's trying to avoid talking to Jake
他不想和Jake交谈
by pretending to read a book on the care and upkeep of ponies.
所以正在假装阅读一本马驹养护指南
Hello, Pete, great to see you.
嗨 Pete 很高兴见到你
How are you?
你最近怎么样
Fine.
还行
Great. Well, that's really good.
很好 那就好
How are you?
你呢
Absolutely fabulous, thanks for asking.
好极了 谢谢
Still doing my polar ice core research, but now based in Egham.
还在研究极地冰芯 不过就在艾格镇(位于伦敦西郊)
How's the Arctic? Is it still melting?
那北极怎么样了 还在融化吗
Like you wouldn't believe.
快得难以置信
The Government's doing
但是那些官僚
absolutely nothing about it. It's criminal.
还在坐视不管 简直就是犯罪
Still, Rachel's a great consolation.
不过 还好有Rachel在
'Well, to Jake and most well-adjusted people,
对于Jake和一般非社恐人士来说
'this is a normal friendly conversation,
这只是一段平常友好的对话
'but to Pete it's just a series of digs.'
但Pete却觉得都是一堆暗讽
'That's right, he's already ticked off the fact
听听吧 Jake已经分别一一列举出
'he's got an interesting job and a girlfriend.'
他有趣的工作 和有女友的事实
But I won't get to see her much, cos, at the end of the month,
但我到月底就没法见到她了
I'm supposed to be going to some bloody conference in Madrid.
到时候我得到马德里去开些无聊的会
'Nice - backhanded mention of travel plus hitting job again.'
聪明 间接提到旅行计划 顺便再次炫耀工作
Which couldn't have come at a worse time,
这差出得太不凑巧了
because I'm supposed to be completing on my flat.
我还正在装♥修♥我的公♥寓♥呢
The only time I really get to myself is my marathon training.
只有在跑马拉松的时候我才是我自己
Thanks for letting me unload.
谢谢你聆听我的倾诉
Ah! Oh, fankoo!
哇 靴靴你哦
So how's it all going with Rachel?
那你和Rachel最近怎么样
Oh, yeah, yeah, really well.
我们俩 很好啊 好极了
Very well indeed.
好得不能更好了
Oh? Is there something up?
哦 有什么小问题吧
No.
没有啊
She getting on your nerves a bit? How do you mean?
她让你有点烦吧 什么意思
All that girly stuff and the way she talks?
就她小女生一样不好好说话
I mean, who says "Fankoo" Instead of "Thank you"?
比如 不说"谢谢"说"靴靴"
What's wrong with saying "Fankoo"?
说"靴靴"怎么了
Nothing, it's good.
没怎么 挺好的
So, go on, tell me, what's happening?
那告诉我 到底是怎么了
No, no, no, no. I shouldn't.
不行 不行 我不能说
Come on, let it all out.
没事 说出来吧
You can speak to me.
你可以向我倾诉的
I think you'll find I'm a very good listener.
我是一个非常耐心的聆听者
Well, she's got into this habit of...
那个 她现在有那么个习惯
Yeah?
什么习惯
When we're making, you know, love... Yeah?
在我们做那什么 做♥爱♥的时候 怎么
Putting her finger up my bum. What?!
她总用手插♥我♥后面 啥
Yeah, just as I'm about to... Fire torpedoes?
就在我马上要 大炮发射的时候
Exactly, up it goes.
没错 长驱直入
She is so cute. Fankoo, Anna.
这太可爱了 靴靴你 Anna
You sure? She doesn't seem the type.
真的吗 看不出来啊
Somebody's putting their finger up there, and it sure ain't me!
反正里头那手指头可不是我自己的
I-I bet that can be a bit distracting?
那应该是挺让你分心的吧
It's, erm, it's a little bit more than that.
我有 呃 有点不一样的感觉
Hello, hello, Petey, hello.
嗨 小皮皮 你好
What do you think of my ickle doll, Petey?
你觉得我的玩偶小宝贝怎么样 小皮皮
Yeah, it's not bad, nice.
不错啊 挺好
Oh, see, Petey likes you.
小皮皮喜欢你哦
Do you mind if me and my ickle doll borrow Jakey for a second?
我和我的小宝贝能不能把小杰杰从你身边借走一会
No.
当然
Fankoo.
靴靴
All right, Pete. What happened to you?
嘿 Pete 你最近忙什么呢
I got sucked into The One Show. Oh, thanks very much.
忙BBC那个"故事秀"呢 真是有前途啊
All right, fellas. Oh, Rob.
老伙计们 嗨 Rob
Me and him are gonna go for a drink after this, do you fancy it?
我们俩一会去喝一杯 你来吗
Oh, no, I'd better not.
我就不去了
I've gotta get up early and look at carpets.
我明天得早点起来去买♥♥地毯
I've gotta go give some nuts to Anna.
我给Anna拿点坚果过去
Hey, all.
嗨
Oh, hi, Rach. Food's nice. Fankoo.
嗨 Rachel 招待的不错 靴靴哦
Yeah, I was gonna try some of these dips,
确实 我本来想试试这些蘸酱的
but you've run out of them little carrot sticks.
但是小胡萝卜棒都被吃完了
Oh, well, don't worry about that, use your fingey.
没事的 你直接用手沾就行
No, thanks, I...
谢谢 不用了
Don't be shy.
别这么拘谨嘛
No, really.
真的不用了
Come on.
来嘛
No. I don't really like hummus.
我其实不是很喜欢吃豆沙
But I made it all on my ownsome.
但这可都是人家自己做的
I'm allergic to lentils.
我对扁豆过敏
It's not made with lentils,
这不是扁豆做的
it's made with chickpeas. I meant chickpeas.
这是鹰嘴豆 也过敏
Eat it, Peter. No!
吃下去 Peter 真的不想吃
I'll try some.
那我试试吧
Mmm, yeah, it's delicious.
嗯 确实不错
Told you. Fankoo, Ollie.
我就说 靴靴 Ollie
What was all that about?
你刚怎么了
Rachel sticks her finger up Jake's bum during sex.
她每次和Jake做的时候都会插他后面
Shall we go?
咱走吧
'Oh, poor Ollie. He's gonna need a stiff drink after that.'
悲催的Ollie 现在他得大醉一场了
'Well, he did, and they had quite a night of it.'
他后来确实喝瘫了 那一晚上也是够精彩
'Yeah, they were refused entry to a nightclub,
没错 夜店不让他们进去
'so ended up drinking till
后来他们只能
three in the morning in a Turkish restaurant.'
找了家土耳其餐馆喝到凌晨三点
'And not a girl in sight. Classic Pete.'
店里一个妞也没有 Pete常态啊
'If we take a quick look at
让我们先来看一看
that restaurant's pricing policy for beer...
这家店的定价策略
Oh, that's quite a mark-up.
宰你没商量啊
Ah, demand and supply, Colin.
供求关系决定价格啊 Colin
'But Ollie managing to look quite sprightly this morning.'
但是 Ollie早上起来都是很精神
'Well, the damage will be all internal.'
喝烂的都在里面
Where's your rucksack?
你的帆布包呢
Hmm?
啥
Pete! My new trainers were in there,
Pete 我的新运动鞋还在你包里呢
they were a birthday present from Mexico.
那是Mexico(墨西哥)送我的生日礼物
'Pete's still getting a bit thrown by Ollie's girlfriend's name.'
Ollie女友的名字总让Pete觉得有点混乱
Even though Ollie's been going out with her for quite a while,
尽管他们已经好了有一段了
she changed her name when she went into the fashion industry.
她进入时尚圈以后就把自己名字改了
Mexico, of course, formerly Susan Bates of Penge.
Mexico原名叫Susan Bates 来自彭奇
Oh, you must've left them in that Turkish restaurant.
你肯定是把包落在土耳其餐馆了
Oh, I must've left them, must I?
肯定是落下了 对吧
Let's go see if they're there.
走 去看看还在不在
'Well, Pete doesn't seem keen.
Pete一点也不着急
'Well, he was so cross about the price of the beer
他昨天气不过啤酒价格太贵
'that he took matters into his own hands.
就闯了点小祸
'As they were leaving the restaurant,
就在他们离开的时候