皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

I'm not a wanker.
我才不是蠢蛋
Maybe a little bit.
可能有一点啦
Well, looks like Pete's second date with Chloe is Sunday lunch
看起来Pete与Chloe的第二次约会是在周日
at her mum and dad's house. Surely an error?
到她爸爸妈妈家吃午饭 这样真的好吗
It's way too early, Colin.
这也发展太快了 Colin
Pete's relationships never
一旦Pete见了对方的父母
seem to last too long once he's met the parents.
这段关系估计就再也维持不下去
Let's take a look at the past form here.
让我们来看一下他过往的记录
As we can see, the longest one was Julie, which continued
看起来 他最长的感情经历是和Julie
for a very painful six days after he told her mum
在他告诉Julie的妈妈他讨厌林尼探案集后
he hates The Inspector Lynley Mysteries.
还苦苦支撑了六天
Julie's mum, not only a huge fan of Inspector Lynley,
Julie的妈妈不仅是<林尼探案集>的粉丝
but also of the Midsomer Murders.
还十分喜欢看<米德萨谋杀案>
Well, he's been in the house just over an hour now.
他现在已经在那里超过一小时了
He's going in for the meal proper. Let's see how he gets on.
他是去吃正餐的 来看看他怎样了
You have a lovely home.
您的家真好看
Thank you.
谢谢
It must be worth, what? 1.1, 1.2 million?
得多少钱呀 一百一十万还是一百二十万
I don't know. It's just our family home.
我也不清楚 这也就是祖传的房♥子
Um, Pete, I couldn't help hearing you flushed the loo,
呃 Pete 我刚刚不小心听到你冲厕所的声音
and I did say in this house we only flush after number twos.
而我刚刚也说过我们家只有在便便后才冲厕所
It's just one of the ways
这是我们所能做的
we try to do our bit to help save the planet.
保护地球的方式之一
Oh, yeah, well I did do a number two, actually, so...
噢 我刚刚就是在便便啊 所以
Oh.
噢
'Had he done a number two, Terry? 'No, Colin,
他刚才是便便了吗 Terry 才没有 Colin
'and when Jen goes into the loo later and finds the seat up,
而当Jen后来去厕所时 她会发现马桶圈没放下来
'she'll see it was pure hyperbole. 'Thanks, Terry.'
她就知道他说谎了 谢谢 Terry
We're all very big on the environment here.
我们全家都对保护环境十分上心
Like me.
我也是
Oh, Pete's given me tickets to
哦 Pete刚给了我几张
a conference on protecting the Arctic ice field.
主题为北极冰原的会议的票
I thought we could go for your Birthday treat.
我们可以正好在你生日那天去
We could think up ways to stop the Arctic melting.
我们能共同探讨如何阻止北极融化
That sounds wonderful. Will you be joining us, Pete?
听起来棒极了 你会来吗 Pete
I'd love to, but I'm going to see Tottenham at West Ham.
我是想去的 但是我要去看热刺对西汉姆联队的比赛
Oh.
噢
Pete has to go for his job.
Pete这是要去工作
He's a sports writer.
他是个体育记者
Oh, that sounds interesting. How's that going?
噢 听起来不错啊 工作还顺利吧
Really well. The work's really coming in now.
十分顺利 活儿越来越多
You make a living from it?
这有薪水拿的吧
That's right. Although if I'm a little bit short,
是的 再说如果我手头紧的话
University College Hospital are always looking for test subjects.
伦敦大学学院医院总是需要药物测验志愿者的
I once got two grand for having my heart stopped.
有一次他们让我心脏都停跳了 给了我两千
They started it again though.
好在他们又让它重搏了
Jen used to play netball for England.
Jen曾经在英国国家队打无板篮球
Ah! Sorry, who's Jen?
噢 不好意思 谁是Jen
My mum.
我妈妈
Oh, yeah.
哦
Yeah, no, we just think calling
呃 我们只是认为
parents Mum and Dad, you know, it sets up barriers.
称呼父母为爸爸妈妈会不利于沟通
Sometimes though that can be a good thing,
如果你见过我父母的话
which you'd know if you ever met my parents.
你就会知道这招确实不错
Cos they're fucking mental!
因为他们都他♥娘♥的♥疯子
No, they're not really, no, they're great.
不 不 他们不是 他们很好
Noreen and, er...
他们叫Noreen和
Can't remember his name now.
不记得他的名字了
You can't remember your own father's name?
你不记得你父亲的名字
No, it's completely gone.
嗯 完全不记得
Right. Well, I hope you like vegetarian food.
好吧 我希望你喜欢素食
Oh, I love it.
噢 超喜欢
Oh, are you a vegetarian?
噢 你是素食主义者吗
No.
不是
Obviously, I agree with it all,
当然 我同意它所宣扬的
I mean killing animals is cruel, wrong, isn't it?
杀死动物是残酷的 错误的
You still eat meat though. That's right.
但是你依然吃肉 是的
Seems you haven't given the issue
看起来你未给予素食主义
of vegetarianism a great deal of thought, Pete.
足够的重视 Pete
Mike. Sorry, who's Mike?
Mike 不好意思 谁是Mike
My dad.
我爸
Well, actually, Mike, I have given it a great deal of thought.
呃 Mike 其实我已经认真考虑过了
Well, then it sounds like
那就是你未能
you haven't reached any firm conclusions.
得出任何可靠的结论
Yeah, I have.
我有呀
I've just reached two conclusions.
我得出两个结论
Well, eating meat is completely ethically, morally wrong...
吃肉在伦理上和道德上都是错误的
but at the same time it is delicious.
但同时也是美味的
And it's also a great source of nutrients and vitamins.
以及它能提供营养和维他命
Ah, yes, but so is tofu. Yeah, but tofu's horrible.
呃 但是豆腐也能啊 我知道 但是豆腐很难吃呀
This is tofu.
我们今天吃的就是豆腐
Shall we talk about something else?
我们还是谈谈别的吧
'So, meeting the parents puts the mockers on another perfectly
看来 和对方父母见面又给这段关系带来了巨大压力
'viable relationship, albeit one built on lies.
尽管这段关系是建立在谎言之上的
'Those who do not learn the lessons of history
这些不从过往吸取经验的人
'are condemned to repeat them.
终将会重蹈覆辙
'Nicely put, Col.' Frank!
说得好啊 Col 是Frank
Oh. What?
噢 啥
That's my dad's name.
我爸的名字
Welcome back.
欢迎回来
And it's no wonder Pete is looking pale and waxy.
也难怪Pete看起来面如死灰
He's just spent a penny shy of 40 on a lady's scarf.
他刚花了近四十镑买♥♥了条女士领巾
Yeah, it's for Chloe's mum's birthday.
是的 是买♥♥给Chloe妈妈的生日礼物
Well, at 40, it's a good 20 more
四十镑算不错了
than he's ever spent on his own mother.
比他花在他自己的妈妈还要多上个20镑
Look at these stats set, Terry.
看看这些数据 Terry
I think particularly bad is 2006,
我觉得最坏的情况是2006年
when his father gave him the money
当时他爸爸给他钱
to buy his mother a present,
让他给妈妈买♥♥份礼物
and all he bought her was a mug tree.
而他最后给她买♥♥的是马克杯架
'Oh, my word, it's Anna! What's he going to do?
我的天 那是Anna 他要怎么办
'Oh - I did not expect that. He's hidden inside the child's taxi!
噢 这我真没想到 他躲到了儿童的士里
Well, the lad's just panicked there. If he'd have given that a second thought
这个小伙子是慌不择路了 如果他仔细想一下
he could have ducked into the Upper Crust sandwich shop,
他可以躲到尚边三明治里
He could have looked at a suit in Suits You...
或者假装看着泳衣店里的泳衣
I would have gone into BHS, they do a very nice cod and chips in their restaurant.
如果是我 我会去BHS 他们餐厅做的鳕鱼和薯条特别好吃
Oi. Get out. My boy wants a go.
喂 出来 我儿子想玩
In a minute...
等等
You're too big for it, mate.
这对你太小了 老兄
What's going on? Pete...?
发生了什么 Pete
Oh, hello, Anna.
噢 嗨 Anna
All yours, mate.
老兄 去吧
You were hiding from me, weren't you?
你是在躲我 对吧
No! I just wanted to go in the taxi.
没有 我就是想钻进去看看
You were hiding from me because you hate me.
你躲着我是因为你不喜欢我
Don't know where you're getting all that from, Anna.
谁跟你这么说的 Anna
From Rob. Oh...
Rob 噢
I can't believe you made up all that stuff about the environment
你竟然为了不和我去玩
just to get out of spending two days with me.
编造了那通关于保护环境的谎言
And what's worse is you're
更糟糕的是
going out with that lovely girl from the bar
酒吧里那个可爱的女孩子不仅相信了你
who thinks you believe all that stuff.
还和你约会
I know. It's awful, isn't it?
我知道 这是不对的
Well, I'm going to tell her. What?!
我要去告诉她真♥相♥ 什么
I think she deserves to know exactly the sort of person she's involved with.
我认为她有权知道她是在和怎样的人约会
No, don't do that, I'm sorry. And now I've had a chance to think about things
别 我很抱歉 现在我细想一下
and I've realised that... I actually really like you.
我意识到 我其实很喜欢你
Oh, shut up!
哦 闭嘴吧你
No, it's true, that's why I bought you this.
是真的 这也是为什么我给你买♥♥了这个
This is for me?
这是买♥♥给我的