乐一通

乐一通
第一季 第八集
烤问兔子
弃船 德国人来了
Abandon ship! It's the Germans!
是你啊
Oh, it's you.
你好 兔子
Hello, wabbit!
怎么了 伙计
Eh, what's up, Doc?
别装傻 咱俩都知道这是怎么回事
Don't play dumb. We both know what this is about.
逃税吗
Er, tax evasion?
什么 不是
What? No!
-闲混 -不是
- Loitering? - No.
谋杀
Oh, murder?
不是
No!
这个应该能给你提个醒
Maybe this will refresh your memory.
卷宗
不 不 太可怕了
No! No! It's horrible!
说吧 你看到了什么
So talk! Whaddya see?
我告诉你我看到了什么
Oh, I'll tell you what I see.
这是我见过的最丑的院子
The ugliest yard I ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on.
什么 不
What! No!
这是我可爱的花♥园♥
It's my lovely garden.
你看到有什么东西不见了吗
And do you see anything missing?
园艺技巧吗
Gardening skills?
不
No!
我的胡萝卜 是你偷的 承认吧
My carrots! And you stole 'em. Admit it!
不是我
Eh, it wasn't me.
很厉害嘛 兔子
Oh, you're good, wabbit.
嘴还挺硬
A tough nut to crack.
我会让你开口的
Well, I'm gonna make you talk.
看看你在这盏炙热的灯下能坚持多久
Let's see how long you last under this baking hot lamp.
像雏菊一样在一千个太阳下枯萎凋谢
Wasting away like a daisy under a thousand suns.
被烤焦
Parched, burned.
嘎嘎 嘎嘎 嘎嘎 嘎嘎
Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
你说什么 伙计
What was that, Doc?
兔子
Oh, wabbit!
我会让你承认偷吃那些胡萝卜的
I'm gonna make you admit you took those carrots.
我的说辞不会变的 伙计
I'm sticking to my story, Mac.
看看你的说辞能否经得起我的测谎
Well, let's just see how your story holds up to my polygraph test.
你的测什么
Your poly-what?
我的测谎机
My polygraph machine.
用来检测谎言的
It's a lie detector.
如果你撒谎 蜂鸣器就会响
If you lie, this buzzer will go off,
我就胖揍你一顿
and I'll give you a thrashing.
说出你的名字 以便记录
State your name for the record.
简单 兔八哥
That's easy. Bugsworth Bunny.
伙计 你穿这套正装挺帅的
You know, Mac, that suit really looks good on you.
搞笑
Very funny.
不 我是认真的
No, I really mean it.
这套正装很显肌肉啊
Why, a suit really accentuates your muscles.
肯定很受女孩子喜欢吧
I bet the ladies are all over you.
你还真说对了
As a matter of fact, they are.
够了
Enough!
你敬酒不吃
We tried it the easy way.
那就吃罚酒吧
Now, the hard way.
-怎么了 -没什么 继续吧
- What? - Oh, nothing. Carry on.
不 告诉我 怎么了
No, tell me, what is it?
这是你第一次审问吧
It's just, uh, this is your first time interrogating, isn't it?
是啊 怎么了
Yeah. Why?
没事 继续吧
No reason. Go on.
我相信你肯定没问题的
I'm sure you'll do great.
我不知道你在想什么 但是
I don't know what you're thinking, but--
我在想如果换做是我
I'm thinking I probably would have started with
我会用"好警♥察♥ 坏警♥察♥"的套路
a little good cop, bad cop.
好警♥察♥ 坏警♥察♥
Good cop, bad cop?
这对初学者来说有点不好解释
It's a little hard to explain to beginners.
既然你这么聪明 比如给我展示一下啊
Well, if you're so smart, why don't you just show me?
我就等你这句话呢
I thought you'd never ask!
首先 好警♥察♥
First, good cop.
非常友好
All nice and friendly-like.
来 吃点自♥制♥馅饼吧
Here, have some homemade pie.
太好了 馅饼
Oh, goody, pie.
可以吃馅饼了
Pie for me.
然后趁他们不注意
And then when they least expect it,
立刻变成坏警♥察♥
you give them the bad cop.
胡萝卜呢 你这个肮脏的动物
Where are the carrots, you filthy animal?
现在我是坏警♥察♥ 明白吗
Now, I'm the bad cop, see?
不要哭 伙计
No. Don't cry, Doc.
来 吃点冰淇淋
Here, have some ice cream.
好吧
Oh, well--
这就叫"好警♥察♥ 坏警♥察♥"
And that's good cop, bad cop.
我又被你耍了
You tricked me again!
你这个可恶的胡萝卜小偷
You horrible little carrot thief!
等等 伙计
Now, wait a minute, Doc.
我说还不行吗
I'll talk. I'll talk.
我没有偷你的胡萝卜
I didn't steal your carrots.
但我看到了偷胡萝卜的人
But I saw the guy who did.
他的脸很小
He had a real tiny face.
几乎没有脸了
Almost no face, whatsoever.
就像刚吃了一个热柠檬一样 皱巴巴的
Puckered up like he just ate a hot lemon.
完全陷进去了
Just totally sunken in.
是的 就是这样
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
鼻子再往里一点
Push the nose in a little more.
就是他
There he is!
这就是偷你胡萝卜的变♥态♥
That's the sick freak who stole your carrots!
你怎么能这样 伙计
How could you, Doc?
原来一直是你啊
It was you, all along.
什么
What?
不可能
It couldn't be.
肯定是 看
It has to be. Look.
指甲里面有泥土
Dirt under your nails.
犯罪现场的泥土
Dirt from the scene of the crime!
但是
But...
没有但是 你就在现场
But nothing. You were there.
照片不会说谎
Photos don't lie!
就是你
It was you!
好吧 案发当晚我在哪里
All right. Where was I on the night of the crime?
赶紧坦白
I better start talking.
闭嘴 把馅饼吐了 告诉我胡萝卜去哪了
Shut up! Spit that pie out and tell me what happened to the carrots.
电视在播什么 我不知道
What's on TV? I don't know!
-真可惜 -你的雇主是谁
- What a shame! - Who are you working for?
真心希望他能破案
I sure hope he cracks the case.
我现在可以吃派了吗
Could I have my pie now?
爱发的胡萝卜
仙人掌不是好惹的
超级吸收器
吸
吹
吸
洗澡真不容易
该好好放松洗个澡了
Time for a nice relaxing shower.
这些旧管子真是太烂了
These old pipes sure are a doozy.
怎么回事
What in tarnation?
这玩意怎么回事
What's with this thing?
真不卫生
Unhygienic!
别闹了 听到没
You better shape up, you hear me!
对不起
Sorry about that.
我需要一个水电工 水管工
I need a handyman... A plumber.
终于放松点了
Finally a little relaxation.
不好意思 伙计 能帮我搓个背吗
'Scuse me, chum, could ya scrub my back?
没问题 伙计
Oh, sure thing, pal.