爆笑情报处（2020）

爆笑情报处
第一季 第六集 本季终
前情提要
给我一份杰瑞·伯恩斯坦的全部背景资料
Get me a full background check on Jerry Bernstein,
我要看他的档案
I need to see his file.
现在就有人正在试图访问你的档案
Someone's actually trying to access your file right now.
获取档案 杰瑞·伯恩斯坦
拒绝访问
机密文件
获取档案 杰瑞·伯恩斯坦
拒绝访问
机密文件
他肯定有所隐瞒 我很确定
He's hiding something, I'm sure of it.
你是否是在国安局丢尽了人
Were you disgraced at the NSA
被迫接受在这里的职位
and forced to take the position here?
不是
No.
操...
Mother...
美国 马里兰州
九个月前
总之 我打算在梅丽莎生日的时候带她去奥里诺科玩
Anyway, I'm taking Melissa up the Orinoco for her birthday,
那肯定不错
so that'll be nice.
是个惊喜吗
Is it a surprise?
我希望是
I hope so.
我超级想要你
梅丽莎
请慢用
There you go.
不 我想我们没点这个
Oh no, I don't think those are ours.
不 是我们的
Yeah, they are.
是我点的 谢谢
I ordered these, thank you.
杰瑞 我不能喝 我在当值
Jerry, I can't, I'm on duty.
老兄 别这样
Dude, come on.
我们多久才能一起喝个酒
How often do we get to do this?
我就直说了
I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
老天 我超爱这首歌♥
Oh man, I love this track.
好吧
Oh, yeah.
总之 我在联调局的一部分工作
So anyway, as part of my work at the FBI,
是调查国安局的某些官员
we've been investigating a few of the officers at the NSA.
好的 好的
Right, right.
话说 你想跳舞吗
Hey, do you wanna dance?
不 现在还是不了
No, not right now.
我们最近刚刚提交一份报告
So we've just filed a report,
我很抱歉这么对你 兄弟
and I hate to do this to you, buddy...
无论你要说什么
You know what, whatever you're about to say,
我确定你过三分钟再说也没问题
surely it can wait three minutes.
杰瑞
Jerry.
杰瑞 别再让我更加为难了
Jerry, please don't make this more difficult than it already is.
上级要求我逮捕你
I've been asked to bring you in,
但我肯定这只是走走过场
but I'm sure it's just a formality.
老兄 我正跳着舞呢 别这样
Man, I'm in the middle of my dance here, come on!
杰瑞 无论你做了什么
Jerry, whatever you did,
我相信国安局能为你商定一份协议
I'm sure the NSA can strike a deal.
-杰瑞 -你还宝刀未老嘛
- Jerry. - Yeah, you still got it.
-好了 -很棒
- Okay. - Yeah!
我们去买♥♥单吧
Why don't we just go pay for our drinks...
好啊 直接走啊
Yeah, we'll just go.
-怎么样 怎么样 -那是我的枪
- What, what? - That's my gun.
-没错 -那是我的枪
- Yeah. - That's my gun.
-杰瑞 -来啊 来啊
- Jerry. - Yeah, yeah.
-来跳舞 -不不不
- Come on. - No, no, no, no, no.
-来啊 来啊 -杰瑞
- Yeah, yeah. - Jerry.
来个转身
Let's do this.
杰瑞 拜托别这样
Jerry, please.
-给我 给我 -不行 不不
- Yep, yep. - Nope, nope, nope, no, no.
-不 等等 等等 -杰瑞 不行
- No, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Jerry, no.
这是因为我和梅丽莎上♥床♥了吗
Is this because I'm sleeping with Melissa?!
什么
What?!
老天 抱歉我迟到了
Gosh, sorry I'm late.
我睡过头了
I overslept.
你看起来很不错 玛丽
You look really well, Mary.
周末过得好吗
Did you have a nice weekend?
是的 我妈死了
Yes, Mum died.
-真遗憾 -我的天
- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Oh my God.
不 其实挺好的
No, it's actually quite nice.
我终于可以穿自己想穿的衣服了
I get to choose my own clothes and everything.
好了 都闲聊完了吧
Well, if that's everything,
我承诺了跟涉外办公室
I've promised the foreign office
汇报科拉斯莫夫案件的进展
an update on the Karasimov file.
目前我们很担心在政♥府♥通信总部
It seems like there are now concerns
可能出现了一个内鬼
there may be a mole here at GCHQ.
操 看我♥干♥嘛
What the fuck?!
幸运的是 你们都不用担心
Fortunately, it's not for any of you to worry about.
跟你打个招呼 安排好我妈的葬礼之后
Just to let you know, I might be going on a little holiday
我可能要去度个假
after I've made all of Mom's funeral arrangements.
葬礼是什么时候
And when is that?
本来计划的是星期三
Oh, it was supposed to be Wednesday,
但是教堂安排出了点乱子
but then there was a mix up at church,
现在我得把她的遗体搬回家放几天
so now I've had to have it back home for a few days.
你要怎么储存她的遗体
How are you storing her?
如果太热了 她可能会爆♥炸♥的
Because if it gets too warm, she might explode.
我的天
Oh, gosh.
我目前把她放在客房♥
Well, she's just in the spare room at the minute,
因为邻居的狗总是闻着味找到她
because next door's dog kept finding her.
棒极了
Fantastic.
我们开始工作吧
Shall we crack on?
如果你需要任何帮助 别客气
Hey, let me know if you want a hand with any of that.
我叔叔曾经在美国开过殡仪馆
My uncle used to run a funeral parlor back at home.
真的吗
Really?
他实际上还发明了些技术
He actually invented a number of techniques
可以将遗体放在棺材中摆出不同的姿势
for putting the body into various shapes when in the coffin.
是开棺的遗体告别吗
Will it be an open casket?
应该是的
Possibly, yes.
她会仰面朝上吗
And will she be face up?
当然
Oh, I hope so.
好的 我叔叔曾经做过
Yeah, 'cause he used to do things
把遗体摆成在挥手打招呼的样子 这样
like have the person waving, like...
或者招手喊人过来
Or beckoning you over.
或者努力从棺材里爬出来 这样
Or like they were trying to climb out, you know, like...
我在想是不是把她火化更简单些
I was just wondering if it might be easier to cremate her?
干得不错
Nice work.
-在家里火化吗 -不是
- At home? - Well, no.
当然还是走那套仪式
With a ceremony and everything,
我就是想那样会快一些
but I just thought it could be quicker.
或者你可以对她进行部分火化
Well, yes, or you could partially cremate her
剩下的躯体就下葬
and then bury what's left.
有点像是在做微波炉版烤土豆
It's a bit like starting off a jacket potato in the microwave.
-有人来了 -好的
- Somebody's here. - Right?
是谁
And?
-联调局 -叫什么名字
- FBI. - And do they have a name?
克林特·福斯特
Clint Foster.
抱歉
Sorry.
我肯定吃坏肚子了
It must have been something I ate.
抱歉 你说谁来了
Sorry, who did you say was here again?
克林特·福斯特
Clint Foster.
杰瑞 你还好吗
Jerry, are you all right?
我没事 我完全不知道这人是谁
Right, I have no idea who that is.
他走前留了什么消息吗
Did he leave a message?
没有 他在你办公室里
No, he's in your office.
我...
My...
我的天呐
Oh my god.
连接到远程设备
杰瑞办公室监控
你在杰瑞办公室装了监控的 对吧
You did plant the spy cam in Jerry's office?
是的
Yeah.
连接失败
你把监控打开了吗
Did you turn it on?
我看到你把我从毕业合照里裁掉了
I see you cropped me out of our graduation photo.
是吗
Did I?
你想干什么 克林特
What do you want, Clint?