弗兰奇·博伊尔：曲马朵之夜（2010）

没想到我们被这些弱鸡给逮了
I can't believe we got taken by these clowns!
我们不该集体吃了吗♥啡♥
We probably shouldn't have all taken morphine
逗他家草地上的狗玩儿的
and played with a dog on their lawn.
我有主意了
That gives me an idea.
艹 没问题 我想到个计划
Fuck, that's right. I had a plan.
走起
Come on.
有人死我就爽了
I love it when someone gets killed.
我觉得问题基本解决了
I don't think you'll be getting any more trouble.
不过要出门的话建议当心
Although I'd be careful when you leave the house,
我们在你整个农场都做了陷阱
because your whole farm is quite heavily booby trapped.
谢谢 我该怎么报答你们?
Thank you. How can I ever pay you for this?
（安♥非♥他♥命♥的一种同分异构体 中枢神经刺♥激♥剂）
给右旋苯♥丙♥胺♥就行
You pay us in Dexydrin.
俺们都在笑啥?
What are we laughing at?
你丫谁啊?
Who are you?
你们好啊 操♥你♥大♥爷♥的
Hello, father fuckers.
这群小子们是来帮我为你们解释 啥叫木耳的
The boys is here to help me teach you all about pussy.
好多东西都看着像木耳
A lotta shit look like a pussy.
Frankie 你一留胡子
Frankie, your face when you got a beard,
脸看起来就像木耳
that look like a pussy!
Danny Dyer看起来就像最后一次行经的木耳
Danny Dyer look like a pussy menstruating for the last time.
Obama的枪伤 看起来会像是木耳
Obama's exit wound, that gonna look like a pussy.
狼人断掉的胫骨 看起来像是木耳
A werewolf's broken shin, that look like pussy.
你们不是在打算让我不停的说到
Say, you guys aren't just trying to keep me talking
警♥察♥来吧?
till the cops get here?
木有 木有
No, no, no.
俺知道一首说木耳的歌♥
Me know a song about pussy!
* 一 二 *
* One, two *
* 三 四 *
* Three, four! *
* 么无恶儿 *
* P. U. S, S, Y *
* 过来秀秀你的鲍鱼 *
* 么无恶一 *
* P. U. S, S, Eeh *
* 俺想把丁丁捅进你 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* P. U. S, S, Y *
* 俺就想来试一试 *
* 么无恶哦 *
* P. U. S, S, Oh *
* 表傲娇 不要就是要 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* P. U. S, S, Y *
* 俺疼屎了 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* P. U. S, S, Y *
* 为了两片肉 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* 俺的最爱是 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* 你毛茸茸的下♥体♥ *
* 么无恶儿 *
* 你味道不错 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* 尝着像是嘘嘘 *
* 么无恶儿 *
* 你撞大运了 *
* 俺家木偶师活儿巨好 *
* 俺疼屎了 *
* 为了两片肉 *
* 俺的最爱是 *
* 你毛茸茸的下♥体♥ *
* 你味道不错 *
* 尝着像是嘘嘘 *
* 说到木耳 *
* 俺完全不挑啊 *
矮油大家好啊 被你们捉到我翻遍剧组的私人物品
Oh, hello there. You've caught me going through the casts'
只为了满足我每日的药量
personal effects, to make my daily drug smoothie.
当然 加一点曲马多 好见到超级英雄们
Of course, we have a little Tramadol, so we can see superheroes,
一点点的可待因 好变成超级英雄
a little Dihydrocodeine so we can be superheroes,
只要有人说是毒品的 我都会吃的 你懂的
and you know, I'd take any old shit if they told me it was drugs.
不过问题是 就算是片饼干 掉地上的我也不吃了
But the thing is, I wouldn't eat a biscuit if it fell on the floor.
好了... 今天的这一集我们学到了些什么?
Well... What is to be learned from tonight's episode?
我想要告诉你们的 但是突然我舌头麻了
I'd like to tell ya, but my tongue's suddenly to numb to talk.
我们现在正处在几场战争之中啊
So we're fighting a couple of wars now. Well,
说是说战争
we call them wars,
其实也就是我们冲去杀些个放牧的
basically we're just murdering a whole bunch of fuckin' shepherds.
但让我震惊的是我们社会的麻木不仁
And what gets me is our callousness as a society
每次新闻都是先念出我们的伤亡人数
when we read out our dead in the news first,
因为我们的命更值钱 别人的命比较贱
because our lives are more important. Other people's lives aren't worth as much.
今日 坎大哈（阿富汗城市）有一起炸♥弹♥爆♥炸♥事故 造成了两名英国♥军♥人
"A bomb went off in Kandahar today, killing two British servicemen,
三名联♥合♥国♥救灾人员 和一堆巴基佬的死亡
three UN relief workers - and a whole bunch of Pakis."
还有个惯用伎俩! 只要一打完仗
Or that thing we do! The minute we stop killing the shepherds,
我们就开始给这群牧民建医院!
we start building them a fuckin' hospital!
"我们来帮这些人建个医院吧"
"Let's build these people a hospital,
"这样我们下次再打过来的时候 他们就能更好地应对了"
"so they're better able to cope with us the next time we're in town".
就好像是强♥奸♥犯给受害者出钱去练瑜伽一样
It's a bit like a rapist paying for his victim to take yoga lessons.
"好好练劈叉啊 北鼻 我还会回来的!"
"Work on the splits, baby, because I'm coming back!"
我特别讨厌军队里
I've always hated that thing the army do
为那些在战争中做出杰出贡献的信鸽啊
when they give a medal to a carrier pigeon
搜救犬啊之类的颁发奖章
or a sniffer dog that's helped them out or something.
要是你儿子死在战场上 那简直是没法活了
Must be quite galling if you had a son who died.
"对不起 McCreadie夫人 您的儿子误踩地雷牺牲了"
"Sorry, Mrs McCreadie, I'm afraid that your boy's been killed by a landmine,
"但是好事儿是 Bingo找回了他的腿来着"
"but on the brightside,Bingo here retrieved his leg!
"所以我们给他颁了个乔治十字勋章 还把腿骨奖励给他了"
"So we've given him the George Cross and let him keep the bone".
'国防部' 至少从前我们还很诚实 叫做'兵部'
'Ministry of Defence'. At least in the old days we were honest. 'Ministry of War'.
"你好 这里是兵部 炸死黑人分部 有什么可以帮到您的"
"Hello, Ministry of War, Department of Nigger Bombing, how can I help?"
那么多关于伊朗的危言耸听的消息 事实是 我们不清楚
With all this scaremongering about Iran now, the truth is, we don't
谁手上有核武器 有可能明天我们都被瑞典人炸死了
know who's got nukes - we could all get blown up tomorrow by Sweden.
"对头 我们摧毁了你们的城市"
"Yes,ve have destroyed your cities
"现在你们还得回头找我们重建来着（宜家梗）"
"and now you must turn to us to refurnish zem!"
瑞典人听着出奇的像德国小基佬啊
Swedish people sound surprisingly like gay German people.
或是像那个追着兔八哥的那个火星人
Or that little Martian that used to chase after Bugs Bunny.
我现在有俩孩子了
I've got two little kids now,
俩孩子 所以严重缺觉
two little kids, so I have a lot of sleepless nights,
整宿整宿睡不着 后悔当初没射在他们娘的胸上
lying awake wishing that I'd come in their mum's tits.
我小的时候 一想到人终有一死恐慌不已
When I was a teenager, I was always terrified of the idea that
现在 这成了支撑我活下去唯一的动力了!
one day I'd die. Now it's the only fuckin' thing that keeps me goin'!
我们滚床单的时候经常玩角色扮演
We have a lot of role play in our sex life.
她穿上全套的服装扮成猫女
She likes to dress up and pretend to be Cat woman
我则假装自己爱她
and I pretend that I love her.
来说点没下限的吧
Here's something you're not supposed to say.
我去看了我儿子分娩的场景 基本叫我兴致大减啊
I went to the birth of my son and it really put me off having sex.
你知道为什么我们不能讨论这个吗?
And you know, why can't you talk about that?
要是 我看到的是我女朋友劈腿
If, I saw my girlfriend being unfaithful to me,
要是我走进房♥间 看到一根黑色鸡鸡再插♥我♥女朋友
if I walked in and saw a black cock going into my girlfriend,
我能说 再不相信做♥爱♥了
I could say, "Well, that's put me off sex".
但是换了粗四倍的东西
Yet I'm supposed to watch something four times the girth,
往另一个方向走 还长着一张脸 还长着我的脸
heading in the opposite direction, with a face - with my fuckin' face -
尖叫着出来 我不用记着那根黑鸡鸡的生日啊
screamin'? I don't have to remember that black cock's birthday!
不用两周一次带着黑鸡鸡去动物园啊
I won't have to take that black cock to the zoo every other week.
要是黑鸡鸡病了 我也不用请一天假
When that black cock gets sick, I won't have to take
陪着去不了托儿所的黑鸡鸡啊
a day off work, because it can't go to fuckin' black cock nursery school!
今天就到这里了 下周再见 草你大爷的!
That's it! Same time next week, fatherfuckers!