脱罪律师

- Our honey-voiced Head of Chambers. - Yeah.
你该听听他在庭上说话的样子
You should hear him in court.
就像在听一本叫《油腔滑调的下流胚》的有声书
Like listening to an audiobook called Oily Wanker.
其实他是叫我去「油管恋童纳粹分子案」做副手
He's actually asked me to shadow him on the YouTube Paedo Nazi case.
瞧瞧你 大展宏图了呢
Look at you, spreading your wings!
谢谢 是啊
Thank you. Yeah.
我觉得他喜欢我是因为陪审员那事
I think he only likes me because of the juror thing.
可能他觉得我是个花♥花♥公♥子♥什么的
Like I think he thinks I'm sort of a player or something?
很好 出庭律师需要有独特的个人标志
Good. A barrister needs a brand.
我本来不想说来着
Didn't want to say it before,
但你过去给人的感觉有点像无特色的香草
but you were coming across as a bit vanilla.
-你以前绝对说过的 -没有吧
- You've definitely said that before. - Don't think so.
你说我就像香草奶油
You said I was like vanilla cream
和香草奶冻浇在香草面包上
mixed with vanilla custard on a rich vanilla bun.
好吧 这听起来的确像我说的话
OK, that does sound like me.
好样的 你已经有所突破了
Well, well done. You've punched through.
谢谢 谢谢 这是好事
Thank you. Thank you, yeah. No. It's good.
这是好消息 真的很让人高兴
It's good news. Really...pleased.
只是 如果我接了这个案子
It's just, I guess, if I take the case,
就有点像我亲自向大家证实
it's a bit like I'm sort of confirming for everyone
我就是那个背着女友出轨的人
that I am the guy who cheats on his girlfriend.
你就是那个人啊
You are that guy.
是啊 但我不想人们想到我时
Yeah, but I don't want it to be the first thing
第一个想到的是这个
that people think of when they think of...me.
也许我应该给麦尔斯回个电♥话♥
Maybe I should just give Miles a call back.
让他知道真实的我是怎样的
Try to give him a sense of what I'm actually like.
然后丢掉这案子吗 这有什么意义
And lose the case? What's the point?
你对你的女朋友也没有坦诚相告 对吗
You're not being honest with your girlfriend, are you?
是啊 等我今晚回家
Er, yeah, when I get home this evening
我要把一切都告诉她
I'm going to tell her everything.
不 不 不 不 不行
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
你多大了 21岁吗
You're, what, 21 years old?
-29岁 不过谢谢 -这不行
- Er, 29, but thank you. - This will not do.
你得学会做出对眼下最有利的选择
You've got to start doing what's best for the situation,
而不是像只天真诚实的傻♥逼♥小奶狗
not running around like a wide-eyed truth puppy
在自己的早餐里拉屎
shitting in his own breakfast.
你其实没有立场
It's not actually your place
在感情方面给我建议
to give me advice when it comes to my relationships.
但谢谢你的...
But thank you for your...
你的看法一如既往很有价值
your perspective is valuable, as always.
非常感谢你 卡罗琳
Thank you so much, Caroline.
听我说
Listen to me.
我不想接下来八个月
I do not want to be dragging around
要一直拽着个失恋的废物
some lovelorn loser for the next eight months.
你必须接下麦尔斯的这个活儿
You're going to take this work from Miles
而且你不能和你女朋友说实话 明白吗
and you are not going to be honest with your girlfriend, OK?
准备好了
Ready.
好极了 你太完美了
Oh, yes. You are perfect.
你说此时我的委托人袭击了你
And, at this point, you say, my client attacked you?
是的
Yes.
她突然就朝我发起了攻击
She just came at me out of the blue.
-你当时惊讶吗 -不怎么惊讶
- You were surprised? - Not really.
她是个非常暴♥力♥的人
She's a very violent person.
你声称她是个非常暴♥力♥的人
A very violent person, you claim.
你当时一定很害怕
Must have been scary for you,
毕竟那个可怕的女人在你家门前与你对峙
this very frightening woman confronting you on your doorstep,
而你所做的只不过是睡了她的男人
when all you'd done was sleep with her man.
是啊 是很可怕
Yeah. It was scary.
还有一件事肯定也很可怕
Another thing that must have been scary,
你曾在市中心的一家酒吧外
you once got into a fight with a woman
和一个女人打架 是吗
outside a bar in the city centre, yes?
-是的 -好的
- Yes. - Yes.
得到了一次警方警告 当时是怎么回事
Got a police caution. What happened there?
为一个男人打架吗
Fight over a man?
-当时是为男人打架吗 -是 但情况不一样
- Was it a fight over a man? - Yes. It's not the same.
-但有相似性 -不一样
- There are similarities. - It's not the same.
差不多是一样的
It is sort of the same.
这一直是你的问题所在 对吗 路易斯小姐
Problem for you, isn't it, Miss Lewis?
你身材苗条 适合偷人老公
You're a slender woman. Good for nicking husbands.
但不适合在接下来的打架中取胜
Not so good for winning the fight afterwards.
那个贱♥人♥害我进了医院
That bitch put me in hospital!
是你先动手打我的委托人 对吗
You hit my client first, didn't you?
不是
No.
没有其它问题了 法官大人
No more questions, Your Honour.
好一副质疑脸
That's a really good doubty face.
好好看着多学学
Watch and learn.
谢谢你 路易斯小姐 你可以回座了
Thank you, Miss Lewis. You may step down.
好好看着多学学
Watch and learn.
陪审团成员们
Members of the jury,
现在我们看看被告的犯罪记录
now we turn to the defendant's criminal record.
天呐 要开始海上天气预报了
God, here goes the Shipping Forecast.
1998年1月
In January 1998,
她因醉酒和扰乱治安收到警告
she received a warning for being drunk and disorderly.
1999年3月 她收到了...
In March 1999, she received...
你怎么看 陪审团是什么反应
What do you reckon? How are the jury taking it?
"三年咖啡早茶会"讨厌迪安娜
Year Three coffee morning hated Deanna.
是啊 没错
Yeah, that's right,
破坏家庭的小三下一个就要找上你老公了
home-wrecker's coming for your husbands next.
"独♥立♥党将军"只想把所有人都送进监狱
General Ukip just wants to send anyone down.
他不高兴竟然有庭审
He's unhappy there's a trial.
你看 这就是其中的乐趣 威尔
You see, this is fun of it, Will.
你操控他们 形象管理
You play 'em. Image management.
我们这次可能有机会 获胜的可能是50%吧
You know, we could have a chance here. 50/50.
最后 在2016年7月
Finally, in July 2016,
被告因利器威胁而被定罪
a conviction for threats with a bladed article,
此案中受到威胁的是一名14岁的女报童
the threatened person in that case being a 14-year-old papergirl.
-40% -30%
- 60/40. - 70/30.
休庭
Court rise.
今天过得很有意思
So it's been an interesting day.
我打给了几位大人物
I phoned up a few movers and shakers
看看他们对你有什么评价
to see what they said about you.
就跟我在乎似的
Like I care.
-我可以不说这部分 -不 继续说
- I can leave this bit out. - No, go on. Go on.
好的 在法庭上
OK. In court,
"她不屈不挠" "坚定果断"
"She's unrelenting", "Determined".
你的盘问"仿佛科莫多巨蜥"
You cross-examine "Like a Komodo dragon".
这种蜥蜴一般会狠狠咬住猎物
Those are the lizardy ones that bite you
然后看着它们死去
and then watch as you die.
真的吗 我都要脸红了
Really? I'm blushing here.
我还询问了对你作为同事和你这个人的评价
I also asked about you as a colleague, as a person,
那些话也很有启发
and that was enlightening, too.
接着说
Go on.
评价包括"糟透了 糟透了 糟透了"
So, we have "Horrible, horrible, horrible".
在对你这个人的评价方面 有人说 "她不是人"
As a person, "She's not a person," someone said.
我觉得有点自作聪明
Bit smart-aleck, I thought.
其他关键性评价包括"整天皱眉咒骂的老巫婆"
Other key phrases were "Frowning cuss witch",
"人形讽刺挖苦机"
"Like a sarcastic tractor",
"糟透了 糟透了 糟透了"
"Horrible, horrible, horrible"
你已经说过这条了
You've said that one.
那是两个不同的人评价的
That was two separate people.
一个法官朋友倒是好心地发了邮件
And a judge friend was kind enough to feed in by e-mail,
她的评价是"有能力 但却是个贱逼"
and she just said, "Able, but twat."
-我觉得该... -说老实话 卡罗琳
- I think a healthy respect... - To be honest, Caroline,
-你似乎真的很不招人喜欢 -怎么
- it seems you have a real likeability problem. - So what?
我应该放下对抗 多多微笑吗
I'm supposed to be less confrontational? Smile more?
我是刑事出庭律师 不是《第一秀》的记者
I'm a criminal barrister, not some reporter from The One Show.
卡罗琳 最重要的就是你要做真实的自己
Caroline, the most important thing is that you be yourself.
这就对了嘛 好极了
There you go! Great!
但如果你还想申请成为皇家律师就不行
Unless you want to apply for silk again,
那样的话 你还有九个月的时间改变自我
in which case you have nine months to become someone different.
变成一个更阳光 更乐观的人