记账人（2023）

喝一口吧
Sip.
嘿 我想请你帮一个大忙
Oh, hey, I got a big ask.
什么 - 你今晚能照顾小雷吗
What? - Can you watch Ray Junior tonight?
你在开玩笑吧 - 我在酒吧认识了一个人
Are you serious? - I met somebody at the bar.
该死 - 怎么了
Fuck. - What?
珊卓拉喜欢跟他相处 你什么都不用做
Sandra loves spending time with him. You don't have to do anything.
不是那样的 我跟小彼 赌五千元你今晚没搞头
It's not that. I bet Petey five grand that you wouldn't get laid tonight.
那我延到明天如何
Well, how about I push till tomorrow
我们可以分掉那笔钱
and me and you-- we can chop the pot?
我爱你 - 没问题
I love you. - Yeah.
你要乖乖的
Now you be a good boy.
爸爸要做正事了
Daddy's got to go to work.
嘿 布莱德 - 丹尼
Hey, Brad. - Danny.
搞什么
What the fuck?
这是小雷
This is Ray Junior.
我在他妈妈出远门时帮忙照顾他
I'm just watching him while his mom is out of town.
所以你不是在经营组头托儿所
Oh. So you're not running some kind of bookie day care?
不是 付我们钱 我们就走
Nah. Just pay us, and we'll get going.
为什么 要去买♥♥吸乳器吗
Why? Got to buy a breast pump?
对 很好笑
Yeah, very funny.
你应该懂吧 你看起来有点像个女人
You do understand you kind of look like a bitch.
我... - 就像巨石强森
I do. - Like the poster for one of those shitty movies
以前拍的那些烂电影的海报
that The Rock used to make
在他发现他不好笑之前
before he realized he wasn't funny.
你能不能赶快把钱给我们
How about you just give us our money?
不如我再加码一千元 你把那个奶嘴放进嘴里
How about I throw in another grand and you take that pacifier, and you put it in your mouth,
我来拍张照上传Instagram
and I take a picture for my Insta?
你说完了吗 - 快好了
Are you done? - Almost.
你选择剖腹产来维持身材吗
Did you have a C-section to protect your figure,
还是这个可爱的孩子 是从你屁♥股♥里蹦出来的
or did this adorable child pop out of your ass?
你可以抱他一下吗 - 好
Can you hold him for a minute? - Sure.
接过去吧
There we go.
看到招惹你♥爸♥会有什么下场了吗
See what happens when you fuck with your daddy?