记账人（2023）

我的午餐 - 你手头很紧吗
It's my lunch. - You on a budget?
我的岳母想帮忙 - 是吗
Mother-in-law's trying to help. - Ah, yeah.
要持续多久 - 直到我死
How long is that going on? - Till I'm dead.
法兰克还好吗 - 他变成植物人了
How's Frank? - He's a fucking eggplant.
看来蜜月取消了
So I take it the honeymoon's off?
蜜月是奶奶喂他吃苹果泥 再帮他擦屁♥股♥
The honeymoon is Grandma feeding him applesauce and wiping his ass.
那对她来说不是好事
It's a bad beat for her.
如果我最后变成植物人的话
If I ever end up in a vegetative state,
答应我你会拔管
promise you'll pull the plug.
我不会为了让你保有尊严而杀人
I'm not committing murder so you can have your dignity.
这不是杀人 这是协助自杀
It's not murder. It's assisted suicide.
如果是黑人协助白人自杀 那就是谋杀
When it's a Black guy doing it to a white guy, it's murder.
搞什么 - 夏瑞丝去拉斯维加斯参加单身派对
What the fuck?! - Sharise is at a bachelorette party in Vegas,
所以接下来几天我要帮忙带小雷
so Junior's with me for the next couple of days.
你带宝宝来上班
You brought a baby on our rounds?
我不能请奶奶照顾他 她跟法兰克在医院
I can't ask Grandma to watch him. She's at the hospital with Frank.
我的天啊
Oh, for God's sake.
难道我有其他选择吗
Well, you give me an alternative.
这对我们的街头信誉没有帮助
This does not help our street cred.
非常多汁
Meaty.
你确定他不能吃生蚝
You sure he can't have an oyster?
我确定 - 好吧 我试过了
I'm sure. - Oh. I tried.
丹尼 怎么了 你不吃吗
Danny, what's up? You're not eating.
我刚吃了波隆那三明治
Just had a baloney sandwich.
你吃了波隆那三明治
You had a baloney sandwich.
你有把吐司边切掉吗 你是九岁小孩吗
Did you cut the crust off it? What are you, nine?
我们干嘛来 华特 - 我打电♥话♥请你们来
Why are we here, Walt? - Why do I ever call?
还不是为了让你们赚钱
To make you guys money.
讲快一点 我可以感觉到前列腺在变大
Speed it up. I can feel my prostate enlarging.
好 你有多了解肉毒杆菌
All right. What do you know about Botox?
用来抚平皱纹的 怎么了
It's for wrinkles. Why?
我有个皮肤科医生
I got a dermatologist,
赌温布顿网球锦标赛输了六位数
lost six figures on-- get this-- Wimbledon.
但她没钱了
And, uh, she didn't have it,
因为我是个很好说话的人
so me being the flexible fellow
我拿了一堆肉毒杆菌当作交换
that I am, I took a boatload of Botox in trade.
所以接下来呢
So what's the play?
上次见面你说你太太 有一间零售商店 对吧
Last we spoke, your wife had a retail establishment, correct?
对 她卖♥♥蜡烛 花瓶 还有漂流木做的垃圾
Yeah. She sells candles, vases and bullshit made out of driftwood.
卖♥♥给皱着眉头的老女人
To aging women with furrowed brows.
你懂我的意思了吧
Oh, the pitch makes it over baloney mountain.
所以我们要做什么 - 我...
So what's our piece? - You know, I-I...
我提供肉毒杆菌和针头之类的东西
I'm supplying all the Botox and the... and the needles and-and what have you,
然后...八二分帐吗
so, uh, 80-20.
五五分帐 - 一言为定
50-50. - Done and done.
史库特 我们这桌需要一瓶香槟
Ah, Scooter? We're gonna need a bottle of bubbly for the table,
还要一杯新鲜苹果汁给这位小老板
and a fresh apple juice for the little jefe over here.
没错 你会喝到苹果汁的
Oh, no, you'll get your apple juice.
嘿 丹尼 我趁机问一下
Hey. Hey, Danny, while I got you here,
你会不会刚好认识某位有钱人
would you happen to know any deep-pocketed individuals
可能会想养一只成熟的科摩多巨蜥
who might want to own a mature Komodo dragon?
是麦克泰森的收藏品 所以一定是真的科摩多巨蜥
It's from the Mike Tyson Collection, so, you know it's real Komodo.
曼南嘉
Mahnanga?
该死 法兰克 那是什么意思
Damn it, Frank, what's that mean?
我不知道那是什么意思
I don't know what that means.
曼南嘉 -“曼南嘉” 什么
Mahnanga. - Mahnanga, what?
玛丽安 - 怎么了
Marion? - What?
不如让海克特送你回家休息一下
How about Hector takes you home, get a little rest?
不行 我不能丢下他
No, I can't leave him.
不会的 我会陪着法兰克 等你回来
Oh, no. I'll stay with Frank until you get back.
我根本不认识你
I don't even know you.
是的 我有参加你的婚礼
Yeah. I-I was at your wedding.
雷跟我在交往
Ray and I are seeing each other.
你怀孕多久了
How far along are you?
不 我没有怀孕
No, no. I'm not pregnant.
以后也不会怀孕
And not gonna be.
我们只是很喜欢彼此
We just like each other a lot.
看着我
Look at me.
喜欢和爱都不重要
Like, love, don't matter.
别让我的孙子骑在你的屁♥股♥上
Do not let my grandson ride bareback on your ass.
是的 女士
Yes, ma'am.
你知道吗
And you know something?
我需要休息一下
I... I could use a break.
你要的话 我们可以停下来吃点东西
If you want, we could stop, get something to eat.
真是太好了 谢谢
That would be nice, thank you.
我爱你
I love you.
曼南嘉
Mahnanga.
什么是“曼南嘉” - 我毫无头绪
What's mahnanga? - I have no fucking idea.
拿去吧 四千两百元 做得好
There you go. $4200. Well done.
谢谢 你有听到脚步声吗
Thanks. You hearing footsteps?
因为我忙到停不下来
'Cause I'm kind of on a run.
看得出来
Evidently.
别把我逼疯了 好吗
Just take it easy on me, huh?
我无法保证
No promises.
那个混♥蛋♥一年损失了11万2千元
Douchebag's down 112 grand for the year.
这两周赚了钱
He has two good Sundays, all of a sudden,
他就以为自己是该死的专家
he thinks he's a fucking expert.
嘿 你有在听吗
Hey, you paying attention?
你以后别赌运彩 千万不要
You don't bet on sports. No, you don't.
可以给我一杯白酒吗
Can I get a white wine?
你是谁 年轻人
And who are you, young man?
这位是小雷
Oh, this is Ray Junior.
小雷 你长得真帅
Ray Junior, you're one handsome guy.
没错
Got that right.
我是老雷
Ray Senior.
你们长得很像
I see the resemblance.
你有看到吗 - 我赌五千元
You watching this? - Five
赌这个大混♥蛋♥能跟她上♥床♥
grand says the big motherfucker gets laid.
他一定可以的
Of course he's gonna get laid.
问题是何时 - 今晚
The question is when. - Tonight.
不可能
No chance.
她太有格调了 - 要打赌吗
She's got too much class. - We got a bet?
没问题
You're down.
我应该带我儿子来酒吧
You know, I should bring my kid into the bar.
也许他能帮我消除皱眉纹
Maybe he can help me out with the frauleins.
你儿子几岁
How old's your kid?
48岁
48.
你真是吓死我们了 朋友
You gave us a real scare, my friend.
你这年纪的人通常一倒下 就再也起不来了
Somebody your age goes down that hard, they usually stay down.
曼南嘉
Mahnanga.
的确很“曼南嘉”
Mahnanga, indeed.
看着你躺在这里奄奄一息
You know, looking at you lying here, circling the drain,
我就想到
and I can't help thinking,
这是我的未来吗
is this my future?
这是我得期待的未来吗
Is this what I have to look forward to?
又老又弱 被迫听一个 我从没见过的疯婆子说话
Old, decrepit, forced to listen to some crazy bitch I never met,
而我只能咕哝
and all I can do is grunt?
曼南嘉 - 让我说完
Mahnanga. - Let me finish.
每天你醒来后 知道你不能走路 不能说话
Every day, you wake up knowing you can't walk, can't talk,
什么都不能做
can't do anything.
你也别想做♥爱♥了
You can forget about fucking.
你只能坐在单向玻璃后面
Best you could hope for is to sit behind some kind of one-way mirror
看着你心爱的人射在别的女人脸上
and watch your beloved cum on the face of some other whore.
曼南嘉
Mahnanga?
好 抱歉 或许那有点太过分了
Okay, sorry. Maybe that was a little much.
我想说的是时间不等人
I guess what I'm saying is that time waits for no one.
我得做出决定 探索自我
I got to make some decisions about who I am
决定我想成为怎样的人 在我也...
and where I'm headed before I'm, you know,
变成“曼南嘉”之前
team mahnanga.
怎样 你知道我是对的
What? You know I'm right.