Mike: Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries!
欢迎各位收看 "伟大的发明"！
Phoebe: Oh, oh! It's on again!
哦！又播出了！
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this sort of... Shhhh!
各位，我们能不能别看了啊, 嘘！
Host: Folks, this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flinging flanging hard to open.
注释：flinging flanging：是个不常见的口语,意思是“折磨人”,“真难弄”。这里的意思是这些纸板盒好难打开。
你是否遇过这种情形？你正打算倒一杯牛奶，但你左思右想，却怎么也打不开纸盒！
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. Aw! There's gotta be a better way!
天啊，你说对了，麦克。一定有个好办法！
Mike: And there is, Kevin!
的确有，凯文！
Joey: Can we please turn this off?
可不可以别看了？
Rachel: No way, Kevin.
不行，凯文。
Mike: Revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again.
如果我告诉你有个新产品，能保证你再也不用费力，打开牛奶纸盒呢？
Meet the Milk Master 2000.
看看这个牛奶大师2000。
Ross: Are you intrigued? You're flinging flanging right I am!
挑起你的兴趣了吧，是啊，挑得我心痒痒的。
Mike: It's the first time, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This works with any milk carton.
这是他第一次使用，你就知道有多容易了。任何牛奶纸盒都适用。
Joey: Wow, it is easy. Now I can have milk, everyday.
真简单！这样我就可以每天喝牛奶了。
Joey: I can't watch this anymore you guys.
我看不下去了。
Phoebe: All right, you've suffered enough. We'll change it. We'll change it.
你已经受了折磨了，我们换台吧。
Infomercial Announcer: How many times has this happened to you?
这样的状况发生过多少次了？
Joey: Argh, there's gotta be a better way!
肯定有更好的办法的！
Chandler: Uh, it's official there are no good movies.
真的没有好看的电影。
Janice: So let's go to a bad one and make out.
那就去看难看的电影，然后在那里亲热。
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, so that you can bunny bump against my back.
或许你希望我转过去，你们可以像兔子一样在我背上跳着玩？
Joey: Hey! Hey. Hey, man. What's up?
嘿。 嘿。 嘿。老兄，怎么了？
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today.
或许该由你来告诉我吧。我的经纪人问我，为何今天的试镜没有出现。
The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message? !
这几周来第一个好机会，你怎么没转告我？！
Chandler: Well, I tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
告诉你，我虽然喜欢罪恶感…但这次不是我。
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! Ok, it was me!
是的，就是他！好吧，是我啦！
Joey: How is it you?
怎么会是你？
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet.
一切真是疯狂啊，你知道吗？钱德躲在衣橱里，倒数十秒，已经数到七了，我一直找不到地方躲。
I I I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it.
我一直想告诉你，我写在手上。你看，全都在这儿。
Joey: Yup, that's my audition.
是啊，就是我的试镜。
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
看吧，这就是为何，我到处都要放便条纸。
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
对，这就是为何，我们都不邀你一起玩。
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
这样有什么悲剧的？再约一次时间啊。
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
艾斯黛试过了，选角导演说 我已经错过了机会。
Phoebe: Oh that is unfair. I'll call her I'll tell her it was totally my fault.
这样太不公平了！我来打给她，我告诉她都是我的错。
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
不，选角导演不可能，跟演员的朋友谈。
Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. Ok, ooh.
她只跟经纪人谈，她的生活层面真狭隘啊。
Joey: What're you doing? What're you doing?
你在干嘛？
Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office.
不，不，不，我知道啦，哦。我是菲比布菲公司的凯特琳。
Um, is um, Ann there, for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'
菲比可以和安谈一谈吗？她自己明白是什么事。
Joey: Hang up, hang up.
挂掉，快挂掉。
Phoebe: Annie! Hi. Listen, we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office?
安妮，你好，乔伊崔比亚尼有点小问题。很显然地，他错过了试镜，你是转告我们公司的哪一位？
Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm gonna do with her.
艾斯黛？我真不知该拿她怎么办。
No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
就算丈夫离开，并放火烧房子，世界依旧照常运作。
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
还有其他人受到惊吓吗？
Phoebe: Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that's it for Estelle. I don't care!
若乔伊错失这次试镜，那是艾斯黛的错，我不管！
Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' I need a pen, a pen.
安妮，你真善良，你何时能见他？我需要笔！
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
快给这个女人一本便条纸，给她便条纸，快点！
Monica: Oh, now you want a pad.
现在你就需要便条纸啦。
Rachel: Huh. Well that's funny. Ugly Naked Guy is still naked, but his dog is wearing a sweater.
真有趣，丑陋裸男光着身子，他的狗却穿着毛衣。
Carol and Susan: Hey! ! There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbie What's ah,
嘿！！ 我的小男孩呢？我的小男孩在这儿！还有他的芭比娃娃！
What's my boy doing with a Barbie?
我儿子干嘛玩芭比娃娃？
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
他自己在玩具店选的，他很喜欢呢。
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
注释：kicky：精神饱满的，活泼的。
他去哪儿都带着它，就像能给他安全感的小毯子。这个却穿着雪靴，和时髦的贝雷帽。
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
是啊，很可爱。再说一次，他为何要玩这个东西？
Susan: So he's got a doll, so what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up to be in show business.
他有个洋娃娃，那又怎样？除非你怕他将来，长大后变成演艺圈的人。
Carol: This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, would it?
这件事跟他被两个女人扶养长大有没有关系？
Ross: You know what, it's fine. If you're ok with the Barbie thing, so am I.
好，若你能接受他喜欢芭比，那我也可以。
Ross: Give daddy the Barbie! Ben, give, give me the Barbie. Ok, how about, don't you want to play with the monster truck?
把芭比给爸爸，芭比给我。你要不要玩怪兽车？
No. Ok, oh, oh, how about a Dino solider?
不要？好吧那要不要恐龙士兵？
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll?
罗斯，你真可悲。为何不让你的儿子玩芭比？
Monica: I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
我要去上班了，有人看到我左边的胸部吗？
Joey: I love that movie.
我喜欢那部电影。
Monica: There it is. Joey, what're you doing?
在这里，你在干嘛？
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
对不起，这样很舒服。
Chandler: Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
去接电话。
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
我只有一只手，你应该帮我的，帮我拿件毛衣来。
Chandler: Just do it! Ok, it's Janice and if I get it I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
快点接啦！是珍妮丝，如果我接了我今晚就得跟她见面。
Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
那太好了，我今晚得跟她见面。
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
你为何不想见她？
Chandler: Ok, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and then she took my tomatoes.
昨晚我们在吃晚餐，当餐点送来时，她把一半烤鸡肉放到我盘里，拿走我所有的番茄。
Ross: And that's bad because...you hate chicken piccata? Noo.
这样很不好是因为 你不喜欢烤鸡肉吗？ 不。
Ross: You didn't wanna share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
你不想与人分享你的番茄。番茄对你很重要。
Chandler: No, it's like all of a sudden, we were this couple, ok? And this alarm started going off in my head, you know, 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
突然间，我们就是"情侣"了。然后我脑袋里的警报开始大响。"为了你的人生，快跑！快离开这栋大楼！"