废柴舅舅（2014）

Wow, not a whole pen! What about that One Direction thing?
哇 一整根笔呢 那单向乐队那事儿呢
Oh, she's moved on. She's into Mumford & Sons now.
噢她不在乎了 她现在喜欢蒙福之子了
I can't believe you wouldn't lend me a keyboard.
你居然不借给我你的电子琴
Keyboards aren't props.
电子琴可不是道具
Yeah, but it's not Keytar Cat.
但是我这又不是电子吉他猫
Whatevs, at least I'm wearing a costume.
算了 至少我穿了节日装扮了
This is a costume. Noone is going to get it.
我这也是装扮好吗 没人能懂的
People with taste will get it.
有品位的人就能懂
The only people that are going to get yours are weird, creepy internet geeks.
唯一能懂你的人就是那些诡异的网络宅
Hey, Keyboard Cat!
嘿 电子琴猫
Looking great, guys.
你们俩看起来不错呀
Thanks.
谢谢
Can you guess what we've come as?
你能猜出来我们扮的是什么吗
Course. The Specials are my all-time favourite band.
当然 特别之队是我最喜欢的乐队了
Rudy rude boys forever!
鲁迪小子万岁
See? What a frightful bunch!
我就说 多吓人的一群人
Hi, Ms Vaughn. You look fab.
嗨 Vaughn女士 你看起来真美
Can you guess what I am? A witch?
猜猜我扮的是什么 巫婆吗
I'm a Fairy God Mother.
我是神仙教母
Ms Vaughn, this is my brother Andy. He's filling in for Amy.
Vaughn女士 这是我的弟弟Andy 他来当Amy的替补
If you need something filling in, then I'm your man.
我最擅长替补了
I'm loving the whole MI5 thing.
军情五处主题真棒
Spooks is my favourite.
<军情五处>是我最爱的剧了
Here are your chaperone badges.
这是你们的监护人徽章
Remember, we don't want any trouble tonight.
记住 今晚不能有任何岔子
Mr Foster! Hands out of the punch bowl now!
Foster先生 把手从饮料里拿出来
Girls and boys need at least one foot between them.
男女生之间距离至少一英尺
We don't want a repeat of last year.
可不能跟去年似的
Of course, I don't have to worry about you, Errol!
当然我是不用担心你啦 Errol
Bitch. Errol!
女婊 Errol
What? I said witch.
什么 我说女巫
Which reminds me that I need a drink.
唔提醒我了 我要喝点东西
So, I guess we should, er, partner up as, er, chaperone buddies?
呃 我们监护人来 组个队吧
Oh, yeah. Good idea.
啊 好主意
Have fun.
玩的开心
Pathetic. They think they're being subtle.
真可悲 他们还觉得自己挺隐晦
Seriously. When did you find out?
真是的 你什么时候发现的
About a month. You? Same.
一个月前 你呢 一样
I was playing Flappy Bird on Bruce's phone when your mum texted
我当时拿着Bruce手♥机♥玩游戏 你妈发短♥信♥过来说
"I need my meat injection." Cringe.
"我需要肉♥棒♥注射" 呕
Are all adults as embarrassing as this or is it just our parents?
所有大人都这么丢人还是只是我们父母
Old people make everything gross.
大人让什么事都变得恶心
Hope I'm not as gross as that if I ever fall in love.
希望我恋爱的时候不要那么恶心
Yeah.
是啊
Er, cool suit, by the way.
对了 衣服挺酷的
What? Oh, er, thanks, yeah.
啥 噢 谢谢
It's from some dumb movie that Uncle Andy's obsessed with.
Andy舅舅喜欢的一个什么蠢电影里的
It's giving me a bit of a wedgie.
有些卡裆
No screaming or running! And get back inside.
不许叫不许跑 里面呆着去
What is there about this night that turns our little angels into devils?
你说这节怎么就能把我们的小天使变成恶魔
You tell me. I'm feeling a little bit devilish myself.
可不是吗 我自己都想做些坏事呢
Is Keyboard Cat in heat?
电子琴猫欲♥火♥焚身了吗
Depends, does 1950s robot need me to change his oil?
你说呢 50年代的机器人先生想不想要换换油
Seriously, can you even get out of this thing?
不过说真的 你真的能脱掉这东西吗
You'll be pleased to know this costume is modular.
你一会儿就能发现这其实是组合式的
Nice try, dipshit.
想得美 傻♥逼♥
Hey, that's my dad's!
嘿 那是我爸的
Well, you can tell your dad...
那你告诉你♥爸♥
That he has got shit taste in whisky.
他选威士忌的品味太差了
What are you even doing here, loser?
你在这里干嘛 废柴
Well, I got finished slamming your mum early,
我搞完你妈没事干呗
so, er, nice costume by the way.
嗯 对了 衣服不错
Bit on the nose, don't you think?
恰到好处 你不觉得吗
What're you supposed to be, A shit Men in Black?
你扮的什么 屎衣人吗
Jake Blues, The Blues Brothers? Never heard of it.
Jake Blues <福禄双霸天>里的 没听说过
Obviously. It's not a Pixar film.
也对 毕竟不是皮克斯动画
What a massive dick.
真是个大傻屌♥
Yeah? That's what your dad said...
你♥爸♥就是这么说的
When your mum...
在你妈
Told him how big I was.
告诉他我有多大的时候说的
Go on, get in there, that's it, Charlie!
头放进去 好样的 Charlie
Just friends, you can do this.
只当普通朋友 你行的
That's it, you can do it!
对 你行的
Hey, friend!
嘿 朋友
Hey, Andy. Nice Matrix costume.
嘿 Andy 黑客帝国造型不错
Oh, er, thank you.
呃 谢谢
What do you think of mine? Made it myself.
你觉得我的怎么样 我自己做的
It looks really well-made.
看起来很美
Oh, can I, er, can I tempt you?
噢 呃 要接受我的苹果蛊惑吗
Oh, um...
噢 呃
Not right now.
现在不行
Er, Matrix men don't eat, remember.
<黑客帝国>里的角色是不吃东西的 记得吧
Hey kiddies, how's it shaking?
嘿 小的们 怎么样
Hey, Ryan. That's a really good Back to the Future costume.
嘿 Ryan 这身<回到未来>的装扮不错啊
Do you think?
你觉得呢
I was sort of torn between Marty and George McFly, to be honest.
老实说 我一直在Marty和George McFly之间摇摆不定
"I'm your density."
"我是你的密度之人"
I mean, "Destiny."
我是说"命定之人"
Aw, you're so cute.
哇 你太可爱了
Keep an eye on this one.
看紧他噢
So, um, Melodie said you've got a really sick discography at home.
呃 Melodie说 你家收藏有很酷炫的唱片
Melodie mentioned that she'd been round my flat?
Melodie跟你说她去过我家
Yeah, the night you guys got really mashed up.
对啊 那天晚上你们玩得可嗨了
Don't look so stricken, Andy, she tells me everything.
别那副表情 Andy 她什么都跟我说
Said that you have the best music taste out of any guy she'd ever met.
她还跟我说 你是她认识的人中最有音乐品味的
Oh, aside from you, obviously.
噢 显然比不上你啊
Obviously.
当然
But what is most important is that we hate the same bands.
不过 最要紧的的是 咱俩讨厌同样的乐队
Mumford&Sons.
蒙福之子
I made them break up using just my psychic powers.
我要用我的念力摧毁他们
All right?
还好吧
Yeah.
没事
I saw Alfie spit on those.
我看到Alfie往上面吐口水了
We should go and mingle.
我们应该融入他们
Do you want to come and talk to Ruby with me? No.
想跟我一起去找Ruby聊天吗 不要
Come on. You two can talk about girl things.
走吧 你们可以谈些小女生的事
I hate girl things.
我讨厌小女生的事
I love jamming in my spare time
业余时间我喜欢搞点音乐
but the music career thing, just a bit of a lark.
不过音乐事业这东西 就是玩闹
Teaching is my true calling.
教学才是我真正的使命
Like Pryzbylewski in, er, season 4 of The Wire.
就像<火线>第四季里的Pryzbylewski
I'm so heterosexually attracted to you right now.
虽然我是直男 但是此刻已深深爱上你了
If it wasn't for the old lady friend...
要没有那位老姑娘
She's a good one.
她是个不错的女生
She's THE one.
她是我的真命天女
Never been more certain of anything in my whole life.
我这一辈子 从没如此确定过
Oh, Mr Sardson, someone let off a stink bomb in the boys loo.
呃 Sardson老师 有人在男厕所扔了个臭气弹
Well, duty calls.
好吧 使命召唤
Are you leaving without saying goodbye, then?
不说声再见就走吗
Hey. Yeah.
嘿 是啊
Er, I'm not feeling so hot.
呃 我不是很享受这个派对
Must be a glitch in the Matrix or something
大概是我的"母体系统"出故障了
but, um... It was really nice seeing you.
不过 很高兴见到你
And... you look really happy.
而且 你看起来很幸福
Excuse me, Ms Thomas, Ms Thomas.
打扰一下 Thomas老师 Thomas老师
A girl just slipped down the stairs,
有个女生下楼梯滑倒了
I think she's broken her ankle!
她好像摔伤脚踝了
Oh, God. Andy, will you come help?
噢 天呐 Andy 过来帮下忙吧
Er, yep.
呃 好
Everything seems in order.
事情很顺利