两周亡命记（2020）

英格兰北部
餐厅
能给我来一份早餐吗
Can I have some breakfast please?
一杯咖啡加一个培根三明治共3镑
It's 3 quid for a cup of coffee and a bacon sandwich.
如果要加热的话 得另外加10镑
And obviously if you want it heated up it is another tenner.
好吧
Ok.
是橙红色的这个钱 对吧
That's the orange ones, right?
停车费要再加10镑
And it's another tenner to park your jeep.
没问题
Of course.
给
There you go.
搞什么啊 小可爱 你要知道他这是在...
Excuse me, love. You do realise that he's taking the...
你何不去洗手间呢 曼迪
Why don't you go to the bathroom, Mandy?
用大镜子来化妆
Use the big mirror - eh?
就算给猪涂上口红 也还是猪
You can put lipstick on a pig, man. It's still a pig.
行了行了 滚你♥妈♥的♥
Yeah! Yeah! Fuck Off!
我可以用下你的洗手间吗
May I use your bathroom?
当然可以 亲爱的
Of course you can, darling.
10镑
Ten pounds.
有什么事吗
Can I help?
你为什么要替一个对你说话那么无礼的人工作
Why do you work for a man who speaks to you like that?
我也不知道 亲爱的
No idea darling.
可能跟我嫁给那个混♥蛋♥的原因一样
It's probably the same reason that I married the bastard.
你为什么还不跟一个不爱你的男人离婚
Why do you stay married to a man who doesn't love you?
你好古怪啊
You are weird.
你是外国人吗 听口音不像啊
You foreign or something? You don't sound foreign.
算是吧
Sort of.
能给我用一点吗
Can I have some of that?
拿去吧 亲爱的 反正也是便宜货
Just have the lot, darling. It is cheap shit anyway.
听着 我丈夫刚刚骗取了你的钱财
And listen. That fellow of mine just stole from you.
你知道这点 对吧
You do know that, don't you?
你有时候可以当个混♥蛋♥ 卡尔 你知道...
You can be a right arsehole sometimes, Carl. You know that...
我♥操♥啊
The fuck...
猪哼哼
停下
Stop
一切都还好吧
Is everything okay?
不 不好
Not really, no.
你忘拿你的培根三明治了
You forgot your bacon sarnie.
不用了 曼迪
That's okay,
我今天遇到的猪够多了 不用吃猪肉了
Mandy. I've had enough pig for one day.
天呐 一下子戳进我眼睛里了
God. Got me right in the eye.
那个...
You know what,
如果你不介意 还是把三明治给我吧
if it is alright with you I will have that sandwich.
只是 我刚突然想到关于猪的这句妙语
It just... the pig line just came to me
我就脱口而出了 但我实际上快饿死了
and I just kinda rolled with it but I really am quite starving
所以太感谢你了 你真是个大好人
so thanks so much. That's really nice of you.
回头见
See you.
车得预热一下
just warming the old girl up.
现在可以走了
Here we go....
两周亡命记
第一季 第一集
南海岸
酒吧
我的意思就是
All I am saying is that,
你向来都不擅长跟女人相处
you have never been very good with women.
那跟这事有什么关系
What has that got to do with anything?
你刚刚被甩了啊 小子
Well, you have just been dumped, kid.
是啊 被跟我交往了三年的人甩了
Yeah, by someone I went out with for three years.
我不是要说你 兄弟
I'm not having a go, mate.
我只是想说 在女人这方面
I'm just saying when it comes to girls
你一直都像是出水的鸭子
you have always been a duck out of water.
什么 也就说完全没事吗
What...So completely fine then?
鸭子是水陆两栖的 杰
Ducks are amphibious, Jay,
所以无论是在水中还是出了水 它们都完全没事
so they are completely fine in or out of water.
胡扯八道
Bullshit!
什么叫胡扯八道
What do you mean bullshit?
我指的就是你这个问题 兄弟
This is what I am talking about, bro.
没人在乎你上知天文下知地理的各种屁话
No one cares about all of your univers-y bullshit.
那是二年级学的 杰
We literally learnt that in year 2, Jay.
都算不上是初中知识
That's not even junior school.
好吧 听着 重点是
OK, look. The point is
不管你觉得你有多聪明
no matter how clever you think you are
都不会有什么进展的 因为...
you are never gonna get anywhere, cause...
-你穿的衣服太丑了 -好吧
- you got shit clothes. - Right!
-发型也很傻♥逼♥ -好吧
- A shit haircut. - Ok.
而且鸡♥巴♥就跟破了的气球一样小
And...a dick like a burst balloon.
我的阴♥茎♥尺寸是达到平均水平的 杰
I've got a perfectly average sized penis, Jay.
-好吧 你想忘掉艾丽吗 -不太想
- OK. Do you wanna get over Ellie? - Not really.
-你想证明你是个男子汉吗 -显然不想
- Do you wanna prove that you are a big man? - Obviously not.
好吧 那你必须找
OK then, you have to speak
下一个走进这酒吧的女人搭话
to the next woman that walks in this pub.
不管那人是谁
Whoever they are.
你刚说的两点我都已经明确说不想了
I literally said no to both those things.
嘿 你想让我说出来吗
Hey, do you want me to say it?
不想
No!
-我还是要... -别
- I'm gonna... - Don't.
-我要说出来 -别说
- I will say it. - Don't say it.
-我就要说出来 -求你不要
- I shall say it. - Please don't.
-我反正要说出来 -我希望你不要
- I'm gonna say it. - I rather you didn't.
你是我弟弟 并且...
You are my little brother... and...
我 爱 你
I love yooouu!
我希望你找点乐子 好吗
And I want you to have some fun. Alright?
不 这事不是没得商量
No! This is not non negotiable.
你是想说"没得商量"吧
You mean it is, non negotiable.
什么
What?
当我没说
Don't worry.
弟弟 快看
Little brother - look...
欢迎我的朋友见到梦中女孩
Welcome my friend to the woman of my dreams.
真的很抱歉
I am so sorry.
我去吧台给你再买♥♥一杯
I will get you another one. at... the bar.
抱歉 抱歉
Ooohh, sorry. Sorry.
你没事吧
You alright?
-能给我一杯苹果酒吗 -好的
- Can I have a glass of cider? - Sure.
再给我身后愤怒地盯着我的那人上一杯他之前点的
And..whatever the angry looking man behind me was drinking.
谢谢
Thank you.
我能问你点事吗
Can I ask you something?
当然 快问吧 小伙伴
Yes. Yeah - fire away, amigo.
不是小伙伴 就朋友
Not amigo. Just friend.
并不是说我们就成朋友了
Not that we're friends.
尽管人们都说陌生人只是你尚未认识的朋友
Although they do say a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet.
我们刚刚已经见过了 算认识了吧
We have technically met, haven't we?
我觉得这主要看怎么定义了 就像是...
I consider it sort of depends on definition, so like...
抱歉 你刚刚说有事要问我
Sorry, you had a question.
是的
Yes.
这是鞋子 没错吧
This is definitely a shoe, right?
是的
Yeahh...
我是说 我就是觉得
I mean, I just...I feel like
我好像犯了个大错
there has been some sort of a fundamental mistake.
这里除了我 似乎没人穿这种鞋
I mean... ...no one else seems to be wearing them.
是啊
Right.
抱歉 我以前从来没打扮得这么时髦过
Sorry, It's just that I never really dress up this smart before
我觉得有点...
and I'm feeling a bit...
不不不 我懂 那就像...
Yeah. No no no. Completely. That's...
就跟电影《窈窕美眉》里一样
It's the same for the one in 'She's all that'
瞧瞧那最后的结局
and look what happened there.
最后结局发生了什么
What did happen there?
电影一开始的时候 大家都说
Oh, at the start of the film everyone's like
"她就是个丑八怪"
'she's a gnome"
到结尾的时候 她穿上一件非常漂亮的裙子
and then she pops this dress on by the end
大家都激动得不行 因为他们开始觉得
and then everyone's kicking themselves, cause they are like
"原来她一直就不是丑八怪啊"
"Ahh, turned out that she wasn't that all along."
那是部经典影片 你一定要看
It's a classic. You've gotta watch it.
好的
Ok.
我会加入事项清单的
I put it on my list.
在现实世界里