她来了（2018）

-坏蛋爸爸 -好了
- Bad, bad, bad Daddy. - Oh, that's it.
-《西斯的复仇》最后... -哪一部
- The bit at the end of Revenge Of The Sith... - Which one's that?
《星球大战》系列第三部
第三部
The third one.
是有史波克博士的那一部吗
Is that the one with Dr. Spock in?
《星际迷航》中的人物
你明知道不是 你也知道他叫史波克先生 不是博士
You know it isn't, and you know it's Mr. Spock.
哪一部里有索尔[漫威雷神]Which one's Thor in?
是《指环王》吗
Is that Lord Of The Rings?
所以 《西斯的复仇》最后讲到
So, there's a bit at the end of Revenge Of The Sith
尤达决定
where Yoda decides that
婴儿卢克·天行者必须住在塔图因岛上
baby Luke Skywalker has to live on Tatooine,
他还让欧比旺也去那里 并在洞穴中住18年
and has decided that Obi-Wan is going to go and live in a cave for 18 years,
当个星际保姆
space-baby-sitting him.
从他眼睛里就可以看出他的不爽 他好像在说
And you can just see in his eyes, he's like,
"你让我去做 是吧"
"Oh, I'm fucking doing this, am I?"
"我得去当绝地保姆 你却逍遥快活 你这个绿色混♥蛋♥"
"I'm Nanny McFucking-Jedi, not you, you wee green shit!"
你真是个科幻死忠
Oh, you love sci-fi so much.
我知道你有两个孩子
I mean, I know you have two kids,
但你肯定还是个处♥男♥
but surely you must still be a virgin?
他们是领养的吧
Are they adopted?
谁会领养她
Who would adopt her?
问题就在这 你没法选择孩子 不是吗
That's the point, you don't get to choose with kids, do you?
我得到了上帝赐予我的一个小礼物
I've got one of God's little outtakes,
我还从摇摇箱里抽了一个
I've got one from the wonky box.
是啊 谁让你自己想要二胎
Yeah, well, you wanted another kid.
不
No.
我想要一张台球桌
I ideally wanted a pool table.
说实话 第一个孩子是一个神奇的 改变人生的
Honestly, your first child is a magical, life-changing,
让你相信灵魂意义的奇迹
soul-affirming miracle.
第二个孩子就变成了单纯的任务
The second one's admin.
所以在这个类比中 你就是欧比旺·肯诺比
And so you're Obi-Wan Kenobi in this analogy?
《星球大战》后面他干什么了
What does he do for the rest of the Star Wars?
在该回去上班的时候坐在酒吧里喝啤酒吗
Sits in the pub, drinking Peroni, when he should be back at work?
操
Oh, fuck.
下周三她要我带罗茜去参加什么宝宝唱歌♥会
Next Wednesday she wants me to take Rosie to some shit Baby Sing.
我参加过一次国家生育信托基金会的课 我不太喜欢
I went to an NCT class once. I did not really like it.
我猜你也不会喜欢
I don't think you're supposed to.
你懂什么
What would you know?
是啊 也有道理 我确实不擅长和孩子相处
Oh, yeah, fair enough. I'm not great with kids.
我曾经养死过一盆仙人掌
I had a cactus once that died.
-这条赛道难度很大 -主要是因为回旋镖花- This track's really hard. - It's that boomerang flower.
《马里奥赛车》中的道具名
可以让被击中的赛车旋转
罗茜
Oh, Rosie.
罗茜呢 罗茜
Where's Rosie. Rosie?
不可以 不可以
No, no.
不可以 小河马现在不能进去
No, Hippo's not going for a tumble now.
不行 我要把本的运动服烘干
No, Ben needs his games kit drying
明天才有的穿
so we can get it ready for tomorrow.
来吧 宝贝
Come on, sweetie.
来吧 来吧 起来 起来
Come on, come on. Up we go, up we go.
快点 快点 罗茜
Come on. Come on, Rosie.
你就玩这些好了
You can just play with those.
-你试过反重力赛道吗 -试过了
- Have you tried the anti-gravity track? - Yeah.
-你好 -你好 你在干什么
- Hiya. - Hiya, what are you up to?
我在处理工作上的事
Just doing some work.
我要在这里多待一会儿 你看行吗
So I'm going to be tied up here for a bit, is that going to be OK?
在酒吧吗
At the pub?
其实还是工作上的事
Well, it's still a work thing, you know?
做这份工作 搞好人际关系很重要
This job's about making contacts.
知道了 替我向小海问好
Yeah, yeah. Say hello to Hels for me.
你跟我说过 你自己可以应付 所以...
Well, like you told me, you'll be able to cope on your own, so...
是的是的 但别太晚回来
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't be too late.
妈妈
Mum?
回头见
See you later.
罗茜 我说了不可以 小河马不要转圈圈
No. Rosie, I said no. Hippo doesn't want to spin round,
谢天谢地我们没养猫
Thank God we don't have a cat.
妈妈 家规第一条
Mum, first rule of the house,
在罗茜没有制♥造♥噪音时 不要打扰她
don't mess with Rosie when she isn't making a noise.
我得烘干♥你♥的球衣 你明天不是要踢球吗
I need to dry your football kit. Don't you want to play tomorrow?
不行 把那个放下来 罗茜
No, put that down, Rosie.
你又把所有的东西都弄湿了
You're making everything wet again.
你是不是想洗澡 是不是
Do you want a shower? Is that it?
我想她可能想洗泡泡浴
I think she wants a bubble bath.
好的 我知道 但是不要说出来
All right, all right, but just don't say that.
罗茜 你想不想洗泡泡浴
Rosie, do you want a bubble bath?
要不晚点吧
Maybe later.
好了 起来 我们把湿衣服脱掉
All right, come on, let's get those wet things off.
好了 你想不想洗澡 想不想洗澡
All right, do you want a bath? Do you want a bath?
来吧 我们上去 乖孩子
Come on, up we go, good girl.
不不 不要再倒泡泡了
No, no. No more bubbles.
你在里面很久很久了
So you've been in there for ages,
最多再给你五分钟
so you can have five more minutes.
五分钟 如果你乖乖出来就可以吃切达小饼干
Five. And if you come out nicely, you can have Mini Cheddars.
你好
Hiya.
你好
Hiya.
你那里很吵 我猜你还没坐上回家的公交吧
It's really loud where you are. I assume that's not the bus home?
我想再留下来喝几杯
I thought I might stay for a couple more drinks,
皮特今天过生日
it's Pete's birthday.
皮特是谁
Who's Pete?
他是杂♥志♥的副编辑之一 那个皮特 你认识的
He's one of the subs on the magazine, Pete. You know, Pete.
那你告诉我 皮特姓什么
Do you even know Pete's surname?
克罗南伯格
Kronenbourg.
皮特·克罗南伯格啊
Oh, Pete Kronenbourg!
小皮啊 你怎么不早说是他 就是那个副编辑呗
Petey boy! Why didn't you say? The subeditor.
就是他 对
That's the fella, yeah.
好吧...
Yeah...
没事 没事 我只是在给罗茜洗澡而已
No, it's fine, it's fine. I'm just giving Rosie a bath.
那可真棒
That's great.
别回来得太晚 好吗
Try not to be too late, though, OK?
还有 替我向皮特问好
And do, you know, give all my love to the Petemeister.
好 再见
OK. Bye.
罗茜
Rosie!
你...
Wh...
我无语了 我也很生气 但能搞成这样也算你厉害
Speechless. Cross, but impressed, as well.
你好 我来参加宝宝唱歌♥会
Hi, I'm here for the Baby Sing.
好
Yes.
-她是罗茜·叶茨 -当然是她了
- Rosie Yates. - Oh. Oh, yeah. Of course.
抱歉 我以为来的会是罗茜的妈妈
Sorry, I was expecting Rosie's mum.
不 从今往后我带她来
No, I have to bring her from now on.
我参加过别的育儿活动
I've been to other things.
我上过一堂国家生育信托基金会的课
NCT. Well, I went to one.
我后来就觉得我需要的知识在《乡村档案》里都有
I just figured I could get the information I needed from Countryfile.
比如 产羊羔的时节
You know, lambing season.
欢迎
Oh. Well, welcome.
我希望你和小罗茜玩得开心
I hope you and little Rosie have fun.
♪骨头 骨头 可怕的骨头♪
♪Dem bones, dem bones. Dem scary bones.♪
♪骨头 骨头 可怕的骨头♪
♪Dem bones, dem bones. Dem scary bones.♪
♪骨头 骨头 可怕的骨头♪
♪Dem bones, dem bones. Dem scary bones.♪
♪跳着阴森森的舞♪
♪Doing the spooky dance, woo!♪
很好 来 唱得积极一些
Good. Come on, it's all about positivity.
要记住 你的宝宝会吸收你的正能量
Remember, your baby will feed off your energy.
谁知道自己的头在哪里
Now, who knows where their head is?
谁知道自己的肩膀在哪里
And who knows where their shoulders are?
膝盖在哪里
And what about your knees?
罗茜 你这动静可真烦人
Come on, Rosie, that noise is really annoying.
别闹了 你伤到哪里了吗
Come on. Have you got a hurty somewhere?
你想拉臭臭吗 你想拉臭臭吗
Do you need a poo? Do you need a poo?
老天爷啊
Oh, Jesus Christ!
干...
F...
我得造个字来形容它 真是好大一坨
I had to invent a new word, it was so big.
特别?
It was gimungernormous.