了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

They'll get us there, Gordy. They always do.
难以置信 -老天
Unbelievable. - God.
是怎么回事?
So, what's the deal?
他想要短一些并且无关时事的段子 -怎么现在才告诉我们?
He wants them shorter and not topical. - Now he tells us.
白费了一个上午 -一出二十 打钟为止
Wasted the whole morning. - Until the bell, guys. 20 in one.
嗯 我要喝咖啡 -卓迪 去买♥♥咖啡
I need coffee. - Trudy, coffee run.
战争期间一切都停止了 艺术界遭到了灭顶之灾
Everything shut down during the war. The arts were decimated.
你一直都在那里吗? -闪电战期间我在伦敦
Were you there the whole time? - I was in London during the Blitz.
我看到过德国空军在空中飞行
I saw the German Luftwaffe flying through the air.
我奶奶在梅菲尔的房♥子被炸了 -天啊
My grandmother's house in Mayfair was bombed. - My God.
她活了下来 但我们认为这个世界已经完了
She lived, but we thought the world had ended.
然后1944年 拉里演了《理查三世》
Then, in '44, Larry did Richard the Third.
拉里谁? -拉里奥利弗
Larry? - Olivier.
当时我坐在前排 突然间我对人类的信心又恢复了
I sat in the front row, and, I don't know, my faith in mankind was restored.
我知道我们可以打败希♥特♥勒♥ -太棒了
I knew that we could beat Hitler. - That's wonderful.
然后我和拉里睡了 -比和希♥特♥勒♥睡强多了
Then I slept with Larry. - That's better than sleeping with Hitler.
我知道这事听起来很傻 但这也帮助我恢复了信心
I know it sounds silly, but that helped restore my faith, too.
嗯... -本店的"浮岛" 免费
Mm. - Our île flottante, and it's on the house.
亲爱的孩子 谢谢你 我要结账 -好的
Darling boy, thank you. L'addition, s'il vous plait? - Right away.
亚伯拉罕 我会把哈罗德品特的戏交给你
Abraham, I'll leave you with this, Harold Pinter.
我会把他的《生日派对》 搬到这里来 我想让你看看
I'm bringing The Birthday Party here in spring, and I want you to see it.
我很乐意看
I'd love to.
他不适合所有人 但他是个疯狂的天才
He's not for everybody, but I think he's a mad genius,
而且他才30岁 真是个年轻有活力的年纪
and he's only 30, such a young, virile age.
他今后肯定会得诺贝尔
The Nobel is in his future.
我会去看的 -这话听上去真悦耳
I'll be there. - Music to my ears.
哎呀 已经这么晚了
Oh, dear, it's so much later than I thought.
这顿饭由《乡村之声》请客 -太客气了
Ah, this is on the Voice. - So kind.
我应该带我妻子来这里的 她肯定会喜欢这个地方
I should bring my wife here. She'd love this place.
她很喜欢法国 -我丈夫是法国人
She's such a Francophile. - My husband is French.
他们应该见个面 很抱歉 我得走了
They should meet. Now, I'm so sorry, I have to dash.
那我就一个人独享浮岛了
More île flottante pour moi.
如果我知道和我共进午餐的 是一个迷人的男人
If I had known I'd be dining with such a charming man,
我一定会安排更多时间待在这里
I'd have scheduled time to linger.
下次我不会再犯这样的错误了
Next time I won't make that mistake.
这个...
This...
这个钱包太旧了 实在需要换掉
this wallet is so old. I really need change it out.
我正在努力回想 这钱包用多久了 也许七八年吧
I'm trying to remember how old it is. Maybe seven, eight years.
除非收到别人送的钱包 不然我都不会想到要换钱包
You don't think to change your wallet till you get one as a gift,
但如果没人送我钱包作为礼物 我又永远不会换钱包
but if you don't get one as a gift, you never change your wallet.
你觉得怎么样? -什么怎么样?
How are you liking it? - Liking what?
甜点
The, uh, dessert?
非常好 很美味 给
Ah, it's... it's... ve-ve-very-very good, very fine. Here.
你真傻 -有时候是的
You are silly. - At times, yes,
但其它时候我会比较戏剧化
but at other times I'm more... dramatic,
像奥利弗一样 不 不像他 我一点也不像奥利弗
like Olivier, or not Olivier, I'm nothing like Olivier.
我更像巴斯特基顿
I'm more like... Buster Keaton,
不过是一个悲哀的没活力的 跟小丑一样的老男孩
just a big, old, sad, floppy clown boy.
真可爱
Sweet.
下次再见
Till next time.
他们进去很久了 是好兆头 对吧?
They've been gone a long time. That's a good sign, right?
还记得上周二吧? -那次差点没能播出
Not necessarily. Last Tuesday? - We almost didn't make it to air.
我应该去拿打字机吗? -不用
Should I get my typewriter? - Do not get your typewriter.
我们在等什么? -裁决
What are we waiting for? - The verdict from rehearsal.
他们来了 蹲下 找掩护
Here they come. Duck and cover.
可恶 -该死 泰迪
Ah, hell. - Goddamn it, Teddy.
我也爱你们 -发生什么事了?
I love you guys, too. - What happened?
他是举提示卡的人 独白没有敲定
He's the cue card guy. Means the monologue's not locked.
我应该去拿打字机吗? -不用
Should I get my typewriter? - Do not get your typewriter.
哪些被采用了? -都没
What's left? - Zip.
全都被他扔了 -天哪
He threw the entire thing out. - Holy shit.
离开播只剩一小时了
It's one hour to show.
我得去拿打字机了 -没错
Should've gotten my typewriter. - Definitely.
我知道这结果令人失望 但我们的职责不是去问为什么
I know it's disappointing, gang, but ours is not to reason why,
我们的职责是写出新段子 不然就得死
ours is but to write new jokes or die.
现在我得去 向安吉狄金森问好 我好可怜
Now, I've got to go say hello to Angie Dickinson. Poor me.
好了 伙计们 闪电回合 甭管新老段子 通通拿出来
Okay, guys, lightning round. Old, new, whatever you got.
可恶
Oh, shit.
卓迪 快点 -我已经进来了
Trudy, hustle. - I'm already in.
戈登想要时事相关的段子 -不是说不要时事相关的段子吗?
Gordon wants 'em topical. - You said before he wanted 'em not topical.
戈登很大牌 他有很多面
Gordon is large, he contains multitudes.
拉尔夫? -时事相关 "艾米丽波斯特死了
Ralphy? - Uh, topical, topical... Uh, "Emily Post died,
"现在没人懂送吊唁的礼仪了"
so now no one knows the proper etiquette to send their condolences."
不错 记下来 -"我去看了一部法国电影的首映
Not bad. Get it down. Cess? - Uh, "I went to the premiere of a French film the other day.
"叫《莱霍霍霍霍霍》"
It's called Le Hau-hau-hau-hau-hauuu."
"翻译成英语大致是 《莱霍霍霍霍霍》"
"Translates roughly into English as Le Hau-hau-hau-hau-hauuu."
不错 可以跟进 梅尔?
Not bad. We should follow it up with something. Mel?
宾虚 如果他是男的 怎么会叫"鞭虚"呢?
"Ben-Hur, if he's a him, what's with the Hur?"
淘汰 亚当呢?
Pass. Adam? Uh,
"有个不幸的消息 克拉克盖博 去世了 离开了他的家人和小胡子"
"Some sad news, Clark Gable passed away. He's survived by his wife, his children and his mustache."
他喜欢盖博 把它写进去 还有谁?
He loved Gable. Put it in. Who else?
我在彩排时编了些新段子
Uh, well, I worked on some new stuff during rehearsal.
你什么? -天啊
You what? - Jesus.
我编了些新段子 -她玩砸了
I worked on some new stuff. - She jinxed it.
你玩砸了 -什么?
You jinxed it. - Jinxed what?
我们从不在彩排时编新东西
We never work on new stuff during rehearsal, ever.
什么? 为什么? -彩排时编的东西铁定会被戈登扔掉
What? Why? - It guarantees that Gordon's gonna throw everything out.
难道戈登知道 我是在洗手间编的段子?
I'm sorry, Gordon somehow knew I was sitting in a bathroom stall jotting down jokes?
所以他会把它扔掉? 他是无所不知的吗?
That's why he threw out the script? Is he omniscient?
如果有人... -让她说
If anyone is... - Let the girl pitch.
说吧 米琪 -谢谢你 艾文
Go on, Midge. - Thank you, Alvin.
《永不沉没的莫莉布朗》 是百老汇的一部新剧
"The Unsinkable Molly Brown is a new show on Broadway.
引座员首先让妇女和儿童就座
I heard that the ushers are seating women and children first."
她曾经在泰坦尼克号♥上 -他否决过一个关于莫莉布朗的段子
She was on the Titanic. - He nixed a Molly Brown joke last week.
是我写的 -还有吗?
Mine. - Got another?
还有 白宫将迎来一个婴儿
Yeah, um... "There's gonna be a baby in the White House,
就是小肯尼迪 交接一定会很顺利
little JFK Jr. It'll be a clean transition.
毕竟艾森豪威尔在的时候 白宫工作人员已经学会了换尿布
White House staff already learned how to change diapers with Eisenhower."
你的努力值得嘉奖 小瑟? -等一下
"A" for effort. Cess? - Oh, now wait a minute.
怎么了? -不好意思 刚才这段子很逗啊
Yeah? - I'm sorry, but that last one was funny.
不 不逗 -不 很逗
No, it wasn't. - Yes, it was.
没有人笑 -观众会笑 而且这也是时事段子
No one laughed. - I think the audience would, and it's topical, he wants topical.
一个段子并不因为你说逗就真的逗
A joke is not funny just because you say it's funny.
并非因为我说逗它才逗 而是它确实逗
No, it's not funny because I say it's funny. It's funny because it's funny.
你懂什么是逗吗? -我懂什么是逗
And you know funny? - Yeah, I know funny.
很好 把我的宾虚段子写进去 我懂什么是逗 那段子很逗
Great. Alvin, put my Ben-Hur joke in because I know funny, and I think it's funny.
梅尔... -你那段子不逗
Mel... - Your Ben-Hur joke was not funny.
真的吗? -也无关时事 也不新鲜
Oh, really? - Or topical or fresh.
我两周前第一次听杰克帕尔 讲这段子时都没觉得逗
Wasn't even funny when I heard Jack Paar do it two weeks ago.
艾文 -没时间争吵了 小瑟 快说
Alvin. - We have no time for this. Sorry. Cess, go.
"有一个洗碗皂的广♥告♥
Okay, uh... "There's a commercial for dishwashing soap.
"你们有人看了吗? " -我敢打赌她看了
Any of you see it?" - I bet she did.
是的 他在等你的电♥话♥ -安比 你们的会面怎样?
Hi, yes, he's expecting your call. - Abe, how was your meeting?
闭上你的臭嘴
Cover your goddamn mouth, Terrence.
这么说可真难听 -加比
That was harsh. - Gabe, Gabe.
加比 你没事吧?
Abe, you okay?
我有个问题问你 你得说实话
I've got a question, and be honest
因为我不是很懂 纽约戏剧界一些复杂的礼节
because I don't know all the intricacies of New York theater customs...
好的
Okay.
这有性意味吗?
Is this sexual?
现在我脑子里闪着很多想法 安比
So many thoughts running through my mind right now, Abe.
想知道为什么我会问这个吗? -非常想知道
You're wondering why I'm asking. - Very much.
我跟佩内洛普共进午餐时 本来一切都很顺利
At my lunch with Penelope, it was all going so smoothly.
我们谈了戏剧、评论以及战争
We talked about theater and criticism and the war.
然后她用手做了这个动作
Then she did this with her hand,
给我感觉... -有性意味?
and it felt... - Sexual?
是的 -本来就有性意味
Yes. - That's because it is.
我就知道
I knew it.
真的是一种有性意味的动作 -并且是最古老的一种
So, it was a sexualized gesture. - One of the oldest.
可以移开你的手了
You can remove your hand now.
我不明白