荒凉百宝店（2011）

那就送您这台自动鄙视法国机
Then I shall throw in this mechanical French hater.
我是个大富商 正在找年轻合伙人
I'm a rich businessman looking for younger partners.
总之 你会拿到...
You'll get...
我还是不明白 我们怎么突然发了财
I don't see how we have become so rich so quickly.
爽翻了对吧
Good, isn't it?
我终于能去寄宿学校受教育了
I can be educated at boarding school!
我也好想上学去啊
I wish I might go to school!
倍美丽·铁手小姐可谓女教师的典范
'Miss Primly Tightclench is a fine governess.'
如今只要翻开报纸 满眼都是世间穷♥人♥的惨状
Look at the newspapers to see how awful it is for the poor poor.
有阔佬给咱送粮食来啦
It's throwing food!
你丈夫从你口里听到秘密 总比
'It's better your husband hear the truth from you'
从报上看到强吧
than from a newspaper.
我是法国人
I am French.
出去
Get out!
不
No!
他丝毫没起疑心
He suspects nothing.
荒凉百宝店 第一季第2集
太划算了嘛
It's just such a good deal!
我至爱的亡妻
My dearest dead wife.
我把它放在这里 来悼念你
I leave this in memory of you, here
在这里我们共同度过了最美好的时光
where we spent the happiest days of our lives.
啊 那时我们多么幸福
And, oh, what joy we had.
直到我做生意发了财
Until I became a rich businessman...
而你法国人的身份曝光
..and you turned out to be secretly French
羞愧之下 投泰晤士河自尽
and hurled yourself into the Thames out of shame.
别了 最亲爱的康瑟多娃
Goodbye, dearest Conceptiva.
快滚开 变♥态♥拉斐尔前派
Oi, hop it, you Pre-Raphaelite pervert!
哟 没死透啊?
Only half-drowned, eh?
看这一身贵气可不打折扣
But fully rich by the look of you.
救个贵人的命 想必很有赚头
And there's much reward for rescuing rich folks.
斯韦莫夫人送的吊唁礼
Lady Swellsmore sent these in condolence.
我受不了看见色彩
I cannot bear colour.
所有东西都要寄托我的哀思
Everything must match my mood.
请用晚饭 先生
Your supper, sir.
煤球汤 木炭派
Coal soup, charcoal pie and,
甜点是一根陈年老香蕉
for pudding, a really, really old banana.
谢谢 路路通
Thank you, Servegood.
其实... 什么?
Actually... What?
我只想说 哀思与种族歧视 只有一线之隔
It's just there is a fine line between grieving and racism.
我越线了吗? 没有没有
Have I crossed it? No, no!
有点吧
Yes.
朋友 你需要时间哀悼
You need time to mourn, my friend.
不如先把生意交给我打理？
Perhaps if you signed the business over to me for a while?
不 生意的重担还得我自己扛
No. I must continue with my businessy burden.
当然
Of course.
维克多在学校知道了吗？
Has Victor been informed at school?
我派我仆人帕斯猥 告诉他丧母的消息了
I have sent my man Pusweasel to impart the dead mothery news.
看他名字就知道 此人生性善良
As his name implies, he is a man of infinite kindness
定会小心措辞的
and will break it gently.
起来 你老娘挂了
Wake up! Your mother's dead!
抱歉 你说啥?
I'm sorry, what?
你妈自杀了 死翘翘啦
Your ma's gone and died, deaded herself.
怎么会?
But how?
像条鲱鱼似的 见到河就跳进去啦
Hurled herself into the Thames like an 'omesick herring.
溺死的?
Drowned?
嗯 也没准是毒死的
Yeah, or poisoned,
河底尖桩子钉死的
impaled on an underwater spike
或者被鳗鱼活活啃死的 想想就痛啊
or eaten to death by eelsharks. Probably very painful.
享受没妈的第一夜吧 兔崽子
Enjoy your first night with no mother, young culley.
为什么我这样跪着?
Why am I kneeling like this?
哦 谁知道你还能活命不
Oh! I didn't know as you'd live.
这个姿势死僵了正好做张脚凳
If not, bit of rigor mortis, you'd make a lovely footstool.
多谢你救我的命 丑婆子
I thank you for saving my life, crone.
哦 您可真客气
Oh, that's nice.
可是客气不能当饭吃呀
But kind words don't butter parsnips.
你想要钱? 没有
You want money? No!
您领情就足够啦
Just an appreciation.
你果然想要钱
You want money.
要钱我会说的
If I did, I'd say,
不然我怎么叫做刮皮娅·葛能敲夫人
or my name isn't Mrs Graspia Grumblechoop.Which it is.
你真的不要钱?
So you don't want money?
不要
No!
不过 这是救你的发♥票♥
Though here's my invoice for saving you.
现在就可以现金支付
Payable now, in money.
唉 我身无分文啊
Alas, I have no money.
你丈夫肯定很有钱吧?
Surely you have a rich husband?
你爹呢? 有没有慷慨的大胖子叔叔？
Wealthy father? Generous, fat uncle?
我...不知道
I...I do not know.
我什么都想不起了 连名字都不记得了
Why, I know nothing, not even my own name!
哦 跟我玩这招
Oh, so that's your game!
这可不如"乞丐戳戳乐"
Not a fun game like Poke The Beggar
或者"痛扁老外"好玩
or Slappy Foreign Punch Punch.
躲这点债还装起失忆来了
You're an invoice-evading mock amnesiac!
我没装
Not mock!
我脑子一片空白 就像...
My mind is as blank as a...
就像...
As a...
不行 失忆太严重
No, my amnesia stretches
我连譬喻和象征都不会用了
even unto similes and metaphors.
好家伙 连自己姓什么都忘了
Oh, great(!) Can't remember your own name,
文艺词儿倒记得挺熟 鸭子死了嘴巴硬
but you can remember literary terms. What a pretty pig in a pickle!
哦 押头韵
Oh, alliteration.
我要报酬
I want paying!
算你走运 小姑娘想挣钱
And luckily for you, there's always ways
有的是办法
a girl can make money.
我见过你 塌腰驼背怪
I have seen you about, hunched and wretched creature.
什么事? 我名叫瑟尔康
What do you want? My name is Smalcolm.
我妈死的时候 我也好伤心
When my ma died, I was terrible sad
我觉得在这个时刻
and I thought at such a time,
你会想有个朋友?
you could do with a chum?
朋友? 对呀 我上学就是想要交朋友
A chum? Why, a chum is all I ever dreamed of from school!
那我能做你的朋友吗?
Then chum might I be?
做我的朋友吧 瑟尔康 我简直太开心了
Chum might you be indeed, Smalcolm. How joyful this makes me!
可是转念一想 我妈妈死了
Oh, though I have just remembered that my mother is dead.
好啦 好啦 朋友
There, there, chum.
仪态
Posture!
可我妈妈都死了
But my mama is dead!
那也不是含胸驼背的借口
That is no reason for slack spineitude.
岂不闻圣经有言曰
Does the Bible not say,
"伤心别驼背 流泪挺直腰"
"Be not a bent-backed griever, but weep straightly that thy tears
"上帝种下番茄苗 等你眼泪浇"?
"may flow unto heaven and water God's tomatoes"?
这又是圣经哪篇呀?
Where in the Bible does it say that?
"园丁记" 第二章 第八节
Book of Gardeners. Chapter two, verse eight.
我要去找爸爸 我们可以互相安慰
I wish to see my papa, that we may comfort each other!
爸爸
Papa!
肃静 你得戴上仪态口塞
Silence! You must wear the posture gag.
铁手小姐
Miss Tightclench.
我想看看维多利亚 我们可以互相安慰
I wish to see Victoria, that we may comfort each other.
唉 她正怪你害死了她母亲呢
Alas, she blames you for her mother's death.
她亲口说的 拥抱你就好比拥抱一块
Why, she said that hugging you would be akin to hugging a cold,
冷酷无情 间接弄死了她母亲的大石头
flinty rock which had indirectly murdered her mother.
唉 这话太伤人了
Oh, that must be difficult to hear.
现在想把生意交给我了吗?
Perhaps you would like to sign the business over to me?
现在不是时候 苛厉史东
Now is not the time, Grimstone.
这么深的悲痛该怎么发泄呢
If only there were some way for me to vent this grief.
若不是法律禁止男人流露情感
I would cry were it not illegal
我真想痛哭流涕
for a man to show emotion.
先生 也许我能帮您
Sir, I may be able to help.
没关系 我带的人
It's all right, he's with me.
先生 在这里你可以避开法律的耳目
Here, sir, you may vent your grief
尽情哀痛了
far from the eyes of the law.
路路通 这就是传说中的地下哭馆吗?