荒凉百宝店（2011）

没错
I do.
但我要指出你早该看出我的委托人心术不正
And yet I shall prove that it was perfectly clear from the outset that my client was evil
所以依照"白♥痴♥预警法案" 这都是你自找的
and thus it is your own fault under the law of Caveat Idiot.
这...
Well...
初次见面时 我的委托人是不是给了你一张名片
Did my client give you a card when you first met?
就是这张?
Indeed, this card?
我把它放大了
I have had an enlargement made.
忽斯韦·苛厉史东先生
心狠手辣 雁过拔毛
可我没看到...
But I didn't see...
我问完了
No further questions.
其实还有一个问题
Apart from one.
我的委托人笑起来啥样?
How does my client laugh?
什么意思
I don't understand.
苛厉史东先生 麻烦你在法庭上笑两声?
Mr Grimstone, would you please laugh for the court?
恶人才这么笑
Clearly an evil laugh.
可是... 没有问题了
But... No further questions.
除了这两个问题
Apart from two.
这是你的签名?
Is this your signature?
呃...算是吧 是的
Er...a bit, yes.
有趣 你签的可是有法律效力的合同
Interesting. Because it's on a legally binding contract
把整个公♥司♥送给了我委托人啊
signing the company entirely over to my client.
当瑟姆先生
Mr Dunthem,
你说你有两个问题 这才问了第一个
you said two further questions. That was only one.
你最喜欢什么颜色
What's your favourite colour?
蓝色 我没问题了
Blue. No further questions.
亲爱的 你真行!
Dearest, you were brilliant!
不过我以为你最喜欢紫色呢
Although I thought your favourite colour was purple.
是紫色啊 该死
Oh, damn, of course!
听也听够了
Well, I think we've heard enough.
不如跳过证据部分 不绕弯子了
I suggest we skip all the evidence and legal what-you-may-call-it,
直接裁决苛厉史东先生胜诉吧
and we just cut straight to the verdict that Mr Grimstone wins.
陪审团同意吗?
Do the jury agree?
嗯...同意
Mmm... Yes.
哦也 好极了 吃饭去
Get in! Super. Right, lunch.
慢着
No, wait.
公♥司♥的事我认栽了
In the matter of the business, I concede.
我只想要回我的女儿
But I do want my daughter back
你们得满足我的正当要求
and I will be heard.
亲爱的 你酷毙了
Dearest, you are so hot right now.
好吧 速战速决
Fine. But be quick about it.
带一号♥物证 再多块三明治过来
Bring in Exhibit A! And a sandwich.
我要传唤我妻子
I would like to call my wife.
亲爱的... 莫再提夫人
Dearest... Mrs Secret-Past,
请说说你对一号♥物证的了解
would you please describe Exhibit A?
一号♥物证
她是我们的女儿 我们只剩这一个孩子了
She is our daughter. Our only surviving child.
我们非常爱她
And we love her very much.
一号♥物证
当她还在襁褓之中 攥着我的手指
When she was a baby, she clutched my finger,
那样看着我时 我就知道我会永远爱她
looked at me and I... I knew I would love her forever.
我问完了
No further questions.
接下来我想传唤苛厉史东先生
I would now like to call Mr Harmswell Grimstone.
苛厉史东先生 你为什么要跟我抢女儿?
Mr Grimstone, why do you want my daughter?
因为我也很爱她啊
Because I, too, love her very much.
答得好 我觉得没什么好问的了
Good answer! Well, sounds like no further questions to me.
我有问题
I have a question.
苛厉史东先生 我女儿叫什么?
Mr Grimstone, what is my daughter's name?
我反对! 她是女人!
Objection! Woman!
反对有效
Sustained.
莫再提夫人 你再纠缠下去 就是蔑视法庭
Speak again, Mrs Secret-Past, and you will be in contempt of court
藐视社会
and of society.
慢着
No, wait.
我妻子是对的 几个月前要是我能听她的
My wife is right, and if I had listened to her months ago,
就不会有这些事了
none of this would have happened.
谢谢
Thank you.
别损我了 先生 我女儿叫什么
Don't push it. Mr Grimstone, what is my daughter's name?
真要我回答吗?
Is that supposed to be a serious question?
你说你爱这女孩 那她叫什么?
This girl you claim to love so much, what is her name?
呃...
Well, it's...
一号♥物证
Exhibit A.
她的真名
Her real name!
物证一?
Exhibita?
你不知道她的名字 你还好意思说爱她?
You do not know her name! How can you claim to love her?
名字不重要 有爱就行
Names matter not, love does.
我就是很爱她嘛!
And I do love her so much!
陪审团的各位亲人们
For know this, cousins of the jury.
我一门心思扑在这不知名的孩子身上
My heart has gone out to this child, what's-her-name.
我的家庭已经烟消云散
I myself no longer have a family.
我妻子死于难产
My poor wife died in childbirth.
更惨的是 她死于别人的难产
Worse, not even her own childbirth.
她被一个怀孕的胖女人压死了
A heavily pregnant woman sat on her to death.
但是 不幸中的万幸 她留给我一个儿子
But - oh joy - she left me a son.
然而 幸运中的不幸 命运又无情地夺走了他
Then - oh woe - cruel fate took him too.
我成了孤家寡人
Well, I was left de-familied.
当我看见小家伙也是一个人时
So when I saw young thingy-ma-bob was de-familied too,
我的心都碎了 我带她回了家
my heart wept and I took her in.
她的父母现在来要女儿了
Her parents act all daughter-lovey now,
可她最无助的时候他们又在哪儿呢
but where were they when she needed them?
喝杜松子酒 跳泰晤士河
Drinking gin and hurling themselves in the Thames!
可...她是我们的女儿
But...she is our daughter.
够了!
Enough!
你们喝杜松子酒 跳泰晤士河
You broke the sacred bonds of family
背弃亲情 不可原谅
with your gin-drinking and your Thames-hurling,
我可是把亲情看得很重的
bonds that I take very seriously indeed,
既然这位绅士有心给这孩子
while this noble man is prepared to offer this child
提供全英国最好的家庭环境
a place in the best family in Britain.
就是啊
Hear, hear.
我宣布 莫再提诉苛厉史东案...
In the case of Secret-Past versus Grimstone, I declare that...
快快住手
Let the proceedings proceed no further!
维克多! 宝贝儿子
Victor! Dearest son
不
No!
这不是真的
It cannot be!
面对现实吧...父亲
Oh yes, it can be... Father.
父亲?
Father?
父亲?
Father?
对 我叫瑟尔康·苛厉史东
Yes, I am Smalcolm Grimstone
这个人是我父亲
and this man is my father.
他把一个孕妇往我母亲身上推 害死了她
He killed my mother by dropping a heavily pregnant woman on her.
当他发现这一切被我看到时
When he realised I had witnessed his crime -
回想起来我也有错 是我说漏了嘴
I told him, bit of a mistake in hindsight -
他把我送到世界上最差的学校 想害死我
he sent me to the worst school in the world to rot to death.
有这回事 忽斯韦?
Is this true, Harmswell?
当然没有!
Of course not!
看这怪胎的扭曲模样
Look at this twisted freak.
大家都是体面人 怎能信他
As good Victorians, we should not believe him.
我们应该把他送去展览
We should exploit him in a show!
我才不是怪胎
I am no freak!
我不过是一直穿着入学时的衣服
I am merely trapped in the same shirt I was sewn into
挣脱不得罢了
when I went to the school years ago!
瑟尔康
Smalcolm!
你有这么高
You are tall!
长得也怪帅的
And handsome, very handsome.
这是我作为男子汉的客观评价
Which is an objective manly judgement,
绝无非分之想
and nothing beastly.
是啊 我算是又高又帅吧
Yes, I am a tall man of some looks,
我认为我父亲 忽斯韦·苛厉史东
and I say that my father, Harmswell Grimstone,
不配做家长
is not fit to be a parent!
背弃亲情 不可原谅!
The sacred bonds of family ripped asunder! Intolerable!
我相信陪审团也是同样的看法...
I'm sure the jury will agree with me...
同意让莫再提先生和夫人
when I say, Mr and Mrs Secret-Past,
领回他们的女儿
you may have your daughter back.