荒凉百宝店（2011）

Oh, yes, please!
不行 她仪态还太差
No. She is still too posture-weak.
都是你做母亲的教导无方
Thanks to your slack mothering,
简直像被抽走了脊梁骨 换上了果冻
it is as if her spine has been removed and replaced with jelly.
或者袜子 若不让我谆谆教诲
Or socks. Take her from my tender care now
你便要害她成为烟鬼 甚至沦落风尘
and you condemn her to be an opium fiend and/or lady of the night.
可我不...
But, I don't...
出去 注意仪态 出去
Get out! Posture! Out! Out!
妈妈呀 仪态
Oh, Mama! Posture!
注意仪态
Posture...
多谢各位广做善事的女士光临 不差钱夫人
It is good to welcome other richly charitable ladies. Lady Havemuch.
宝钞女伯爵 如今只要翻开报纸
The Duchess of Money. One only has to look at the newspapers to see
满眼都是世间穷♥人♥的惨状
how awful it is for the poor poor.
就她这暴发户 也敢教训我们怎么接济穷♥人♥?
Jumped up riff-raff. How dare she tell us to do more for the poor?
我做的可不少啦 刚刚还收养了个孤儿呢
I already do loads. I recently took in an orphan.
你真是圣人心肠
You saintly she-beast.
是我侄子弗雷迪 掰塞克斯伯爵
It was my nephew, Freddy, Earl of Bessex.
可现在 我们能为他们略尽绵薄了
But now we can relieve at least some of their woes,
这些大规模烧包性武器 也能用来做善事
and these weapons of mass opulence may be used for good.
哎哟喂 有阔佬给咱送粮食来啦
Blimey! Some toff's firing food at us!
就让它打响我们对贫困宣战的第一炮
So let this be our first salvo in our war against poverty!
暴发户 俗不可耐
Riff-raff. Pious prole!
哦 是维克多的信
Oh! It is from Victor.
"亲爱的爸爸妈妈 学校真有趣"
"Dearest mama and papa, school is such fun.
"有好多五花八门的课程"
"Lessons are plentiful and varied.
"我学习了经学..."
I am learning Scripture..."
"拉丁文..."
Ohhh! "Latin..."
"地理..."
"Geography..."
"数学..."
"Mathematics..."
"还有化学"
"..and Chemistry."
"棒极了 我好开心 一点也不难过"
"It is brilliant, and I am definitely very happy, not sad."
终于有点好消息了
WELL,THIS AT LEAST CHEER ME
按我的商业计划书 我们新开张了12家
As per my business plan we have now opened 12 new branches
"老百宝乐购"和"老百宝客隆"
of the Old Shop of Stuff Metro and the Old Shop of Stuff Express.
我们真有生意头脑 对吧 都是活财神啊
We really are being businessmen, aren't we? Clever, clever us.
什么动静?
What the devil?
先生 如果我没猜错 这是某位夫人发疯了
Sir, unless I am mistaken, that is the sound of a lady running amok.
玛丽安
Mary-Anne!
康瑟多娃 到底怎么回事?
Conceptiva. What ever is the matter?
得请个律师 阻止这些诽谤信
We must hire a lawyer, stop these libellous letters.
除非它所言不实 才可谓之诽谤
To be a libel, it must be untrue.
当然不实 我妻子才没有什么秘密呢
Of course it's untrue. My wife has no secrets.
可是...
But...
康瑟多娃 你有秘密吗?
Conceptiva? Do you have a secret?
康瑟多娃 回答我
Conceptiva, answer me!
我想她已经回答了
I think she just has.
以那种阴柔而微妙的
But with a subtle feminine language
男性的逻辑头脑理解不了的语言
beyond our logical male brains.
先生 请容我进一言?
Sir, if I may be of assistance?
先生 您看夫人是否算忧郁?
Would sir say that madam is looking wistful?
一半忧郁 一半心事重重
Partly wistful, partly contemplative.
"忧而心重"啊
Wistlative, then.
还伴有叹气 凝望窗外等症状
Plus sighing and staring out of the window...
唉 译文查到了 "我还真有个秘密"
Ah, alas, it translates as, "Yes, I do have a secret,
"但却是难言之隐"
"but cannot bear to share it."
不
No!
如果真有秘密
If secret there is one...
那就不是诽谤了
..then libel there is none.
要是你有秘密 总得告诉我啊
If you have a secret, you must share it with me!
看来你终于给她找到活了
I see that you have finally found a use for her.
她现在是我的情绪女仆
She is now my mood-maid.
现在出这种事太不幸了
This could not have come at a worse time for me.
丑闻的风声可能会毁掉我的爵位呢
Any hint of scandal could cost me my knighthood.
就为这个?你怎么变成这种人了?
That is all you care about? What have you become?
我只是说...
I merely meant...
你丈夫从你口里听到秘密 总比
I think it better your husband hear the truth from you
从报上看到强吧
than from a newspaper.
我来告诉你我的秘密了
I've come to tell you my secret.
先生 能不能...
Sir, could...?
我的人生有个永远抹不掉的污点
There is a stain on my character that can never be erased.
这可如何是好啊
Oh, blinking cripes!
你知道 我父亲作为中尉
As you know, when he was a subaltern, my father fought
参加了第二次滑铁卢战役
at the second Battle of Waterloo.
战役之后他巡视战场 搜索伤员
After the battle, he scoured the field for wounded.
可惜 能救的很少
Alas, there were few he could aid.
尸体却多得足以让人悲恸不已
But enough dead to sadden the soul.
那年头 一人出战 全家随军
Back then, whole families followed men on campaign,
满目凄惨之间
and on that gory field
我父亲看见一个士兵 与妻子相拥死去
he found a soldier and wife, embraced in death.
他们环抱的孩子却一息尚存
In their embrace was a child, still alive.
看到这个孤儿 我父亲顿生恻隐之心
My father's heart melted at the sight of this orphan child,
他决定亲手抚养我长大
and he sought to raise me himself.
这就是你的秘密? 你是收养来的?
And this is your secret? That you are adopted?
可这有什么丢人的啊
But, there is no shame in that.
你不明白
You do not understand.
死去的士兵不是英军 他是...
That dead soldier was not a British soldier. He was...
法军
French.
我是法国人
I am French.
吾乃法兰西子民(法语)
Je suis Francaise.
出去 给我出去
Get out! Get out!
什么事?
Yes?
我要见我女儿
I need to see my daughter.
不行 她在上仪态矫正架
You cannot. She is on the posture-rack
正要上浆定型呢
and then is to be starched to rigidity.
可是... 不行
But... No!
那请您转告她 我说...
Then can you tell her I said...
再见了
..goodbye.
康瑟多娃 等等 我...
Conceptiva, wait! I...!
这是她留的 朋友
She left this, old friend.
"最亲爱的贾灵顿 我决定了断残生"
"Dearest Jedrington, I go now to end my life.
"告诉孩子们我爱他们
"Tell the children I love them.
又及 (法语)对不起"
PS, je suis desole."
一定得拦住她
We must stop her!
法国人又怎样 她还是我妻子啊
She may be French, but she is still my wife!
上马 先生
Hop on, sir.
劳驾 这里就是人们...?
Excuse me, is this where people come to...?
看来没错了
I'll take that as a yes.
别了 残酷的世界
Goodbye, cruel world!
康瑟多娃 如果你能听见 请听我说
Conceptiva! If you can hear me, listen!
是我自私 是我犯傻
I have been selfish and stupid!
我不介意你是法国人 亲爱的
I do not care about your Frenchness!
还有 (法语)我爱你
In fact, je t'aime!
说得好 先生
Oh, well said, sir.
康瑟多娃 哦 贾灵顿
Conceptiva! Oh, Jedrington...
康瑟多娃 真高兴你还没跳
Conceptiva! I'm so glad you didn't jump!
苛厉史东先生
Mr Grimstone...
这样我就能亲手推你下去了
Because now I can push you instead.
怎么能由着你大嘴巴胡说八道呢
Ohh! Can't let you blab away like that!
要做就做到万无一失
Now, we must do this properly.
贾灵顿 我们找到她了
Jedrington! We have found her!
感谢上帝 我来了 亲爱的 我来了
Oh, thank the Lord. I am coming, my love! I am coming!
再见 康瑟多娃 我来了
Goodbye, Conceptiva. I am coming!
我在这儿 不
I am here! No!
康瑟多娃 康瑟多娃
Conceptiva! Conceptiva!
她活不成了 先生 一沉到底了
She'll not have survived, sir. Huge drop that is.
水流又湍急
And the current here's mighty strong.
再说 不管您信不信 这里真有鲨鱼
Plus, unlikely though it seems, there are sharks.
住手 先生 暴♥力♥从没解决过任何问题
Leave it, sir. Violence never solved anything.
除了在滑铁卢战役
Apart from the Battle of Waterloo.
还有阿金库尔战役 还有...
And Agincourt. And...
我都做了什么