贱精姐弟（2014）

But just a couple of drinks, OK? Nothing too crazy.
当然了 我去拿防狼口哨
Yes, of course. I'm just going to go grab my rape whistle.
太兴奋了
I'm so excited!
你在这里啊 小家伙
There you are, little buddy!
我会把你救出去 好吗
I'm going to bust you out of here, all right?
我不知道你是否看过《飓风营救》
I don't know if you've ever seen the film Taken,
但这和电影有些像
but it's a bit like that.
我是利亚姆·尼森 你是他的放荡♥女♥儿
I'm Liam Neeson and you're his slutty daughter.
你就是的 小荡♥女♥
Yes, you are, you little slut.
给 不不 这才是你的
There you go! Oh, no, no, no, this one's yours.
这真♥他♥妈♥的是个好主意 汉娜
This was such a great fucking idea, Hannah!
我就说吧 这比待在家帮里奇染阴毛什么的
I told you! This has got to be better than staying at home
要强多了
to help Rich dye his pubes or whatever.
说真的 我们应该每晚都在一起玩
Seriously, we should be hanging out, like, every single night!
咱们开一家鸡尾酒吧
Let's open a fucking cocktail bar!
真的 就今晚吧
Literally, like, tonight!
咱们去找他妈的许多酒 然后他妈的干起来
Let's go get a fucking shitload of booze and just fucking do it!
好 好的
Yeah... Yes!
喂
Hello?
还好吗
'Wassaaah!'
丹 什么事 我很忙
Dan, what is it? I'm busy.
问一下 你觉得
'Quick question. How would you feel about...'
也许领养个十只
maybe potentially, adopting ten...
至十五只晚期疾病宠物怎么样
to 15 terminally ill pets?
长话短说 我...
'Long story short, I, er...'
按照你的主意 去诊所救了狗
ran with your idea and I rescued that dog from the surgery.
这不是我的主意
Er, that wasn't my idea.
你的主意 我的主意 无所谓啦
Your idea, my idea. Whatever.
总之 问题是 我进去后
Anyway, the thing is, when I got in there
看到其他所有要被人道毁灭的宠物
and I saw all the other pets that were going to be put down
那里看起来像个可爱的毛茸茸的死囚室
and it was like an adorable, fuzzy death row, so...
我救了所有的动物
I...took all of them.
-什么 -总而言之
- What? - 'Yeah, so all in all,
计划的第一阶段进展顺利
'phase one of the plan has gone pretty smoothly.'
我想问下第二阶段怎么做
I'm just sort of checking to see what happens in phase two.
没有第二阶段 听着 丹
'There is no phase two! Look, Dan...'
我和最好的朋友正玩得开心呢
I'm having a brilliant night with my best friend.
我没时间策划该死的动物越狱
I don't have time to plan a bloody animal prison break.
妈的
Shit.
咱们的酒吧就叫汉蒂酒吧
So I'm thinking we call the bar Handie's,
汉娜和莎蒂的名字加在一起
like Hannah and Sadie mashed together, yeah?
所有的鸡尾酒在手中调出来
And all the cocktails would be made in your hands!
-告诉我你喜欢这主意 -我喜欢
- Tell me you love it! - I love it.
我他妈就知道你会喜欢
I fucking knew you'd love it!
我这辈子还没有为什么事这么激动过
I have seriously never felt this excited about anything in my life!
就好像我的大脑中在放烟火
It's like there are fireworks in my brain!
可能是因为你喝的酒
That's probably because of your drink.
我喝的酒
My drink?
我要确保你玩得开心 所以我
Well, I wanted to make sure you had a good time, so I, uh,
加了一点料
greased the wheels a bit.
你说什么
What do you mean?
我在你所有的酒里都加了粉色闪电
I've been slipping drops of Pink Lightning into all of your drinks.
别担心 你明天起来就什么都会忘了
Don't worry, you won't remember any of this in the morning.
放轻松 好好享受今晚
So relax and enjoy the ride!
其中一项副作用是呼吸停止
I mean, one of the side effects is respiratory arrest,
所以别太放松了 否则你会停止呼吸的
so don't relax too much or you might stop breathing!
-什么 -我的天 我爱这首歌♥
- What? - Oh, my God, I love this song!
大家说 如果你爱谁 就应该让对方自♥由♥
They say if you love something you should set it free,
我想大家说得对
and I think they're right.
而且 这次行动我根本没想清楚
Also, I didn't really think this whole thing through very much,
这样做是我最简单的脱身办法
and this sort of seems like the easiest way out.
所以我会让你在剩下的生命里 尽情享受生活
So I'm going to let you make the most of the time you've got left,
好吗 小家伙
right, little buddy?
没有绳索 没有狂犬病接种 没有笼子
No more leashes, no more rabies vaccinations, no more cages.
是时候让你自♥由♥了
It's time for you to be free...
彻底的自♥由♥
once and for all.
好了 下一个
Right, next!
要忙乎的还不少呢
We have got a lot to get through.
你是做什么的 杰米
So, what do you do, Jamie?
我在一家私人健身会所工作
I work down the road in a private gym.
我喜欢健身房♥ 我的所有毛巾都是在那里拿的
I love the gym. That's where I get all my towels!
我是私人教练
Yeah, I'm a personal trainer.
我喜欢帮助人们保持健康
I love to help people stay healthy.
而且 我卖♥♥类固醇赚了不少钱
Plus, I make a ton of extra money selling steroids.
我们应该来个一对一课程 就你和我
We should do a one-on-one session, just you and me.
一起拉一拉 扭一扭
Stretching and flexing together...
小汉汉
Hans...
我觉得我不对劲
I think I'm in trouble.
对不起 杰米 别走开
Sorry, Jamie. Don't move.
怎么了
Hey, what's up?
所有东西都好模糊 我的心跳得好快
Everything's blurry, my heart's racing,
我的下巴一直这样
and my jaw won't stop doing this.
莎蒂 我相当肯定我喜欢这个家伙
Sadie, I'm pretty sure I'm in with this guy, OK?
作为朋友 我会很感谢的
As a friend I'd appreciate it
只要你不再做"阻鸡器"
if maybe you'd stop being a cock-blocker,
或是 "护阴机"
or, you know, muff buffer.
如果你难受 就出去呼吸下新鲜空气
If you're feeling rough, go get some fresh air
我们20分钟后见
and I'll see you in 20 minutes.
如果我和他搞上的话 就一小时
Maybe an hour if me and him start getting off. OK?
好的
OK.
总之 我想象着你和我
Anyway, I'm imagining you and me
那些巨大的健身球
and you know those massive exercise balls...
你会以为她是第一个
You'd think she was the first person
喝多了阿尔巴尼亚涂料稀释剂的人
to have a bit too much Albanian paint thinner!
里奇兄弟
Ritchie Rich!
丹 那些动物呢
Dan, where are the animals?
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
诊所装有报♥警♥系统和监控
The surgery's fully fitted with an alarm system and CCTV.
我知道你闯进去 带走了所有的动物
I know you broke in and took the animals,
出于某种原因 你还在一个水槽里撒尿了
and for some reason urinated in one of the sinks!
我不在乎你为什么这样做 丹
I don't care why you did it, Dan, OK?
我只需要那些动物回去
I just need to get them back.
我再问你一次
So I'm going to ask you again...
那些动物在哪里
Where are the animals?
我放走了
I let them go.
什么叫你放走了
What do you mean, you let them go?
我只是想帮忙
I was just trying to help.
你说你讨厌它们必须被人道毁灭
You said you hated the fact they had to be put down,
所以我想 我要让它们活下去
so I thought I'd, you know, let them live.
有几只立马就被车撞死了
I mean, a couple basically got run over immediately,
但其他的都
but the others are all...
跑了
gone.
妈的 你♥他♥妈♥的
Shit! Shitting shit!
你知不知道我会失去什么
Do you have any idea what I stand to lose here?!
我会失去兽医执照 失去我的诊所
I could lose my vet's licence, my surgery and...
我完了 我真的完了
I'm fucked... I'm literally fucked!
里奇
Whoa, Rich,
我不想看到你这个样子
I don't want to see you like this.
听着 伙计 去年我在监狱时
Listen, mate... Last year when I was in prison...
什么 你坐过牢吗
What? You were in prison?
是 在你问之前 是的 那是非暴♥力♥犯罪
Yeah. But before you ask, yes, it was for a non-violent crime.
没 我没有...
No, I was not...
你确定我不用去急诊室吗
Are you sure I shouldn't go to A&E?
-莎蒂 -里奇
- Sadie? - Rich!
我们只是随便喝了几杯
Er, we just had a quick drink.
她喝多了桃红葡萄酒
She had a little bit too much rose.
你们去了哪里
Where have you been?
你的脸怎么啦 宝贝
What's happened to your face, baby?
汉娜邀请我过来
Hannah invited me over
她说 我们应该多在一起玩什么的
and she was like, "We should hang out more, blah, blah, blah,"
我们去了夜店 她给我下了药