贱精姐弟（2014）

汉娜 厨房♥脏死了
Hannah, this kitchen is a tip.
我们不是说好你做家务 我...
I thought we agreed you'd do all the housework and I'd, you know...
不做吗
not?
嘘 我正忙着
Sh. I'm busy.
你没有 你只是在看无聊的荷兰节目
No, you're not. You're just watching that boring Dutch show again.
首先 这个剧是瑞典的
First of all, the show's Swedish.
其次 《剔骨》不是无聊节目
Secondly, Styckningen is not boring.
是讲诡异性♥爱♥谋杀的紧张悬疑剧
It's a taut, psychological drama about weird sex murders.
我最爱的谋杀
My favourite kind of murders.
我想你可能上瘾了
I think you might be addicted.
我在三天内看了26集 而且短暂
Just because I watched 26 episodes in three days and briefly
考虑过买♥♥导尿管 并不代表我上瘾了
considered buying a catheter does not mean I'm addicted.
不管怎样 这地方脏死了
Well, either way, this place is falling apart.
连干净的杯子都没有了
There weren't even enough clean cups.
那是我的体操奖杯吗
Is that my gymnastics trophy?
是的 我不是没办法用我的嘛
Yeah. Couldn't use one of mine, could I?
因为我没有
Because I don't have any.
多谢你提醒我的失败
But thanks for rubbing that in.
是谁
Who is it?
是楼下的家伙
It's that dude from downstairs...
见鬼 你做了什么
Shit, what did you do?
你什么意思
What do you mean?
我努力不和任何邻居打交道
I've made a real effort not to engage with any neighbours
以防他们是精神病 或是要我帮忙
in case they turn out mental, or ask for favours.
他肯定找我们麻烦的
He must be here to tell us off.
我什么也没做
Well, I haven't done anything.
我的确开始在公共垃圾桶里留食物
I mean, I did start leaving food down by the communal bins,
但那只是为了吸引狐狸
but that was just to attract foxes.
伙计们 你们说的我都听见了
Guys, I can hear everything you're saying.
我不是来找你们麻烦的
I'm not going to tell you off.
我们能为你做些什么 邻居
What can we do for you, neighbour?
你好 我是加文 28号♥的
Hi, Gavin, Flat 28.
抱歉打扰你们 但我要请你们帮个忙
Sorry to bother you guys, but I've got to ask a favour...
懂了吧 永远别和这种人打交道
See what I mean? Never engage with these people.
无意冒犯 加文
No offence, Gav.
我要赶着去机场
It's just that I'm dashing off to the airport,
但我需要有人在我离开期间帮我喂鱼
and I really need someone to feed my fish while I'm away...
加文 能帮你喂鱼是我的荣幸
Gavin, it would be an honour to feed your fish.
它们是我第五喜欢的动物
They're like my fifth favourite animal,
前四种是麋鹿 所有鸟
after elk, all birds,
宠物小精灵 当然 还有人
Pokemon and, of course, humans.
多谢了 伙计 你真是救了我的命
Cheers, mate, you're a life-saver.
拜托 要不邻居用来干嘛的
Come on, what are neighbours for?
现在 来说说报酬
Now, let's talk payment...
贱精姐弟 第五集
本来是我女友照看的 但今早我们大吵一架
My girlfriend was meant to watch them but we had a huge bust-up this morning
她抓到我发老二的照片给她的瑜伽教练
just cos she caught me sending dick pics to her yoga instructor.
女人啊 不能和她们一起生活
Women, eh? Can't live with 'em,
也不能背着她们出轨
can't cheat on 'em.
不会有事的
Yeah, it'll be all right.
我在免税店给她带些香水
I'll sling her some perfume from duty-free,
这招通常管用
that usually smooths things over.
问题是 我不能错过这次出公差
The thing is, I couldn't miss this business trip.
代表公♥司♥去迪拜
Representing the firm out in Dubai.
本来是我哥们皮特去的 结果这货得了肌痛性脑脊髓炎
My mate Pete was meant to go, but then the prick got ME
我就想 对不起啦 兄弟
and I was like, "Sorry, pal.
坐失良机怄死你
You snooze, you lose."
加文 你家太棒啦
Gavin, this place is incredible!
就像蝙蝠洞里有个拥有花♥花♥公♥子♥豪♥宅♥的小孩
It's like the Batcave had a kid with the Playboy Mansion.
多谢啦 伙计 花了我不少钱装♥修♥
Cheers, mate. Cost me a bomb.
看这个
Check it out!
这位是谁呀
"And who do we have here?"
很高兴见到你 邦德先生 我是美丽的"洞洞紧"
"Pleasure to meet you, Mr Bond. I am the beautiful...Vagina Tight."
小心 丹尼
OK, easy there, Danny.
这些是绝版50周年人偶
Those are one-off 50th anniversary figurines.
说真的 这么多屌♥爆的东西
Seriously, with all this cool stuff,
你肯定一直很开心
you must be happy the entire time.
反正不差
Well, it doesn't hurt.
但这些小妞 才是我的骄傲和快乐
But these little ladies, they're my pride and joy.
雪球鹿角 大海里的法拉利
Snowball Antlers, the Ferraris of the sea.
从委内瑞拉的尼格罗河远道而来
Come all the way from Rio Negro, in Venezuela.
你得精确地复♥制♥出生存环境
You've got to replicate the environment to the dot,
这样它们才能活着
just to keep them alive.
正确的酸碱值 很好的藻类水平
The right pH, good algae levels.
哪怕温度只改变两度 那么...
If the temperature changes just two degrees, then...
丹 伙计 你在听吗
Dan, mate, you listening?
听着呢
Yeah, I'm with you...
好的
Cool.
设定液体比重计是需要一些技巧的
Now, setting the hydrometer can be a little fiddly,
你要过来看下吗
so do you want to come take a look?
好的
Yep.
但要说下 这椅子让我勃起了
But, FYI, this chair has sort of given me an erection.
只是提醒你一下
Just a heads-up...
拜托 比约恩 不要去屠宰场 你这个笨蛋
Oh, come on, Bjorn! Don't go into the abattoir, you twat!
你还好吗 你摔得不轻啊
Whoa, are you all right? You took one hell of a tumble there.
我他妈的玉米煎饼
Oh, my fucking burrito!
什么样的白♥痴♥会把垃圾桶放在街道当中
I mean, what kind of idiot leaves a bin in the middle of the street?!
别生气 玉米煎饼小姐 你用手♥机♥得当心些
Easy, Miss Burrito. You've got to be more careful on your phone.
我表妹在过马路发短♥信♥时失去了一只胳膊
My cousin lost an arm crossing the road and texting at the same time.
她在找翘拇指的表情
She was looking for the thumbs-up emoji
一辆摩托撞倒了她
and a motorbike wiped her out.
有些讽刺
Kind of ironic.
我没发短♥信♥ 我在看《剔骨》
Well, I wasn't texting, I was watching Styckningen.
是什么
What's that?
老天 你没听说过吗
Oh, my God, you've never heard of it?!
瑞典的恐怖电视剧 讲一个女生被杀了
It's this gruesome Swedish drama about this girl who gets murdered
她家人的悲伤情绪辅♥导♥员可能是连环杀手
and her family grief counsellor might be the serial killer.
我卖♥♥艺正好要休息下
Listen, I was about to take a break from busking.
我重新给你买♥♥午餐 你给我讲讲这个剧
Let me buy you a replacement lunch, you can tell me all about it.
也许吧 你是什么样的街头艺人
Um, maybe? What kind of busker are you?
是有追求的音乐人 还是最近流落街头那种
I mean, like, aspiring musician or recently homeless?
有追求的音乐人
Ha, aspiring musician.
这样的话 听起来不错
In that case, that sounds nice.
我是汉娜
I'm Hannah.
我是布伦
I'm Bryn.
布鲁恩
Broon?
不 是布伦
No, no, it's Bryn.
布伦
Bryn.
抱歉 不知道是你的口音
Sorry, I don't know if it's your accent
还是我刚摔过
or because I recently fell over,
但我听不懂你在说什么
but I cannot understand what you're saying.
我叫布伦
It's Bryn.
别费心了 玉米煎饼小姐
Don't worry about it, Miss Burrito.
来吧
Come on.
-布鲁恩吗 -不 布伦
- Broon? - No, it's Bryn.
我和他吃了午餐 结果他酷到家了
So me and him had lunch and he's like maybe the coolest guy ever.
真的 他有纹身 以前在乐队
Seriously, he's got tattoos, he used to be in a band,
他的所有衣服
and all the clothes he wears
不是太松 就是太紧
are either way too baggy or way too tight.
听起来不像你平常的类型
Doesn't sound like your usual type.
什么叫"我平常的类型"
What do you mean, my "usual type"?
不是变♥态♥ 只是非常奇怪的人
Not weirdos... just, really weird guys.
比如说 坚持一周看两次Stomp的人
Like...that one who insisted on watching Stomp twice a week?
运用扫把垃圾桶盖等 表演敲击音乐舞蹈与情境喜剧
假装成一个人的疯子双胞胎
Or those whack-job twins who pretended to be one person.
山姆和斯科特真的是好人 明白吗
Sam and Scott were actually a really nice guy, OK?
重要的是 布伦身材好 是音乐人
Look, all that matters is that Bryn is fit and a musician
超级喜欢我
and super into me.
他甚至邀请我去看他参加的开放麦之夜
He even invited me to an open mic gig he's doing tonight!
酷 如果你们能成
Cool, well, if it works out
也许他改天能教我弹吉他
maybe he can give me a guitar lesson some time.