贱精姐弟（2014）

贱精姐弟 第三集
你看
Check it out.
通讯上说他们在翻新科技实验室
It says in the newsletter they've refurbished the tech lab.
我要去那里玩圆盘锯
I'll head down there, play with the circular saw.
丹
Dan!
今天对我来说很重要 明白吗
This is a really big day for me, OK?
我不希望被你玩什么重型机械搞砸了
I don't want you messing it up by "playing" with heavy machinery.
我不明白你为什么压力这么大 老姐
All right. I don't get why you're so stressed, sis.
你给一群中六学生做职业描述
I mean, you're giving a careers talk to a bunch of sixth formers,
又不是太空之王
not the King of Space.
他们不仅是中六学生 他们是未来
They're not just sixth formers, they're the future,
我有机会就此改变他们的生活
and I have a chance to change their lives forever.
说实话 他们居然过了这么久才邀请我回来
To be honest, I can't believe it's taken them this long to invite me back,
我当年可是副副女生代表
I was Vice-Deputy Head Girl.
这是你没有当选女生代表时 瞎编出来的
That's something you made up when you didn't get Head Girl.
选举结果很接近 应该重新数票
It was a really close election and there should have been a recount and
我相当肯定当时有人舞弊 你闭嘴
I'm pretty sure it was rigged anyway and shut up!
你来做什么
Why are you even here?
这也是我的母校 我想念这里
It's my old school too. I miss it.
过去的生活简单多了
Life was so much simpler then, you know?
-没有工作压力 -你没工作
- No stressing about your job... - You don't have a job...
-不用交房♥租 -你没交
- paying rent... - You definitely don't pay rent. ..
你在公众场合勃起 怪荷尔蒙就行了
when you got an erection in public, you blamed it on your hormones.
你现在还是这样做
You still do that.
重点是 那是我人生中最棒的时光
The point is, those were the best years of my life.
除了杰米·弗拉克
Well, except when Jamie Flack
在全校人面前揍我
beat me up in front of the entire school.
就因为我与众不同
Just because I was different.
老天 真不是个东西
God, what a dick.
没错 但你瞧我现在 今天下午
Yeah, but look at me now, I'm about to spend the afternoon
我要在鞋子上钻洞
drilling holes in my shoes.
回见了
See you later.
米尔·班克斯高中
你好 汉娜 我是巴克博士 职业规划主管
Hi, Hannah, I'm Dr Barker, Head of Careers.
-我们通过电♥话♥ -你好 很高兴又见到你了
- We spoke on the phone. - Yeah, hi, nice to see you again.
临时通知 感谢你能来
Thanks for coming in at such short notice.
没事 谢谢你邀请我 等不及聊聊职业了
No, fine, thanks for having me. I can't wait to chat careers.
再说了 我会逮住一切借口从那间屁公♥司♥翘班
Besides, I'll take any excuse to get out of that fucking office.
真的 有一次我休了一天假
Honestly, once I took the day off
因为我看到一只鸽子想拉另一只做♥爱♥
because I saw one pigeon trying to make another one have sex
真是让我郁闷
and it really bummed me out.
我说过了 有一个人临时退出 所以...
Well, as I say, we did have a number of late drop-outs, so...
汉娜来救场 跟以前一样
Hannah to the rescue. As usual.
我以前是副副女生代表
I did used to be Vice-Deputy Head Girl.
没有这种事吧
I don't remember that being a thing?
有啊 绝对的
No, it was a thing. Definitely.
在开始前 你要先填写这张表
OK, well, I just need you to fill out this form before the talk.
-你在保险公♥司♥上班对吗 -没错
- You work for an insurance company, yes? - That's right, yeah.
我是管理团队的助理
I'm the Executive Team Assistant.
我写私人助理好了
I'll just put down P.A.
什么 不 我不是
What? No, I'm not a P.A?!
你一定要写上"管理"
Can you just make sure you put down the word "executive".
好的
OK.
谢谢
Thank you.
问一下 也许是我记错了
Also, quick question, maybe I'm misremembering,
但你以前不是姓巴克-罗克斯伯勒吗
but didn't your name used to be Dr Barker-Roxborough?
是的 我和丈夫最近分开了
Mmm, yes, well, my husband and I recently separated.
我现在就是姓巴克了
I'm just Dr Barker now.
妈的 抱歉
Shit, sorry.
至少你名字没那么累赘了
Still, at least your name's a bit less clunky, right?
是啊 算是一点安慰吧
Yes, that's a real silver lining.
这次真的会很有意思的
Oh, this is going to be fun.
抱歉 我在找我多年前的涂鸦
Oops, sorry, just looking for some graffiti I did a few years ago.
我想看看还在不在
I want to see if it survived.
妈的
Shit!
涂鸦还在 不过被改了
The graffiti's still here but they've changed it.
"丹是传奇"被某人改成了"丹是吸老二的传奇"
See, "Dan is a legend" and then someone's added "for sucking cock".
别担心 我有办法
Don't worry, I've got it sorted.
丹是不吸老二的传奇
"Dan is a legend for not sucking cock."
将死你
Checkmate.
你们在做什么
What are you guys up to?
我们在玩"甲骨文之旅"
We're playing The Oracle's Journey
很好玩的冒险游戏
It's a fantasy adventure quest.
看起来好复杂
Looks complicated.
不 非常简单
No, it's very simple.
每位玩家选一个角色
Each player gets a character,
收集遗迹和矿物
they use it to collect relics and minerals
直到强大到可以挑战扎夫嘎王
until they're strong enough to challenge the Emperor of Zathgar
以及他的龙之军
and his army of dragon spawn.
有点意思
Makes sense.
你们的角色是什么
So, what are your characters?
我是侏儒士兵 雅各布是巫师巨人
I'm a Dwarf Soldier, Jacob is a Wizard Troll,
阿肖克是独眼巨人王子
and Ashok is a Cyclops Prince.
太好了
Sweet.
你想玩吗 你可以做魅魔
Do you want to play? You can be the Succubus.
什么是魅魔
What's a Succubus?
是一个女魔鬼 趁男人睡觉时和他们做♥爱♥
It's a female demon that has sex with men in their sleep
然后杀死他们
and then kills them.
这叫人怎么拒绝啊
I mean, how do you say no to that?!
所以 在物流中
That's why, in logistics,
我们说让产品从A到Z的最佳办法
we say the best way to get products from A to Z
就是通过U
is through U.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
谢谢你 安德鲁
Thank you, Andrew.
下一位 是本校的毕业生 汉娜·法兰奇小姐
Up next, we have a former pupil, Miss Hannah French.
谢谢 巴克博士 谢谢 安德鲁
Thank you, Dr Barker. Thank you, Andrew.
今天我们听穿灰西装的老古董说教已经听得够多了
Now, we've all heard a lot today from stuffy old men in grey suits.
是时候来点有意思的了
So I think it's time to mix it up a bit.
看椅子下面
Look under your chairs.
那是我六岁时的照片
That's a picture of me, aged six.
谁会想过那个小女生会成长为
Now, who'd have thought that that little girl would grow up to be
跨国保险公♥司♥的管理团队助理
an Executive Team Assistant at a multinational insurance firm?
我没想过 小时候 我想做消防员
Not me. Back then, I wanted to be a firefighter.
直到我意识到 薪水很低 而且消防员那些东东
Until I realised the pay's terrible and the physical stuff would
可能会令我像个男人婆
probably make my body look quite mannish.
有没有人知道管理团队助理是做什么的
Anyway, does everyone know what an Executive Team Assistant is?
其实就是私人助理对吗
It's basically like being a P.A.?
不 不是那个 为什么一直这样说
No, it's nothing like that. Why do people keep...?
为什么照片中你的头这么小
Why is your head's so small in this picture?
我当时才六岁
Well, I was six.
就算对六岁孩子来说 这也太小了
Yeah, but even for a six-year-old, it's pretty tiny.
像个高尔夫球
It looks like a golf ball.
不好意思
Excuse me...
没事 巴克博士 我可以搞定
No, that's OK, Dr Barker, I can handle this.
-你去操你自己吧 你个小...-汉娜
- Why don't you go fuck yourself, you jumped up little...? - Hannah!
他挑起来的
He started it.
谁扔的
Who threw that?
扔的人会被开除
Whoever throw that is going to get expelled.
汉娜 你没有资格这样说
Hannah, you don't have the authority to say that.
你离婚后变这么没用啊
Wow, you have really checked out since that divorce.
我小时候这种情况是要被重罚的 住手
We would never have gotten away with that in my day... Stop!
我的天
Oh, my God.
阿肖克 你需要撒个8或更多
Come on, Ashok, you need an eight or higher,
否则你的所有木材都要跟我换
otherwise you're going to have to trade me all of your timber.
9 阿肖克 你这个幸运的小崽子
Nine! Ashok, you lucky little shit!
这游戏很好玩吧
It's a good game, right?
比踢足球或和人聊天强多了
Much better than playing football or talking to people.
超级好玩
It's brilliant!
你们一定每天玩这个吧
You guys must play this every day?
差不多 除了周四 雅各布有长笛课
Pretty much. Except on Thursday's when Jacob has his flute lesson.
你为什么要学吹长笛
Why are you learning to play the flute?