腌黄瓜先生

全美的粉丝 你们好吗
What up, all of america? Yo, yo, yo, yo!
赫曼 把这些帽子退了
Herman, return all those hats.
不行 弗洛伊德已经出去
I can't. Floyd's been out back
吃了一会帽子了
eating 'em for like awhile, yo.
-弗洛伊德 -弗洛伊德
- Floyd?! - Floyd?!
更多帽子
More hats!
-别吃我们的帽子了 -他好大
- Stop eating all our hats! - Whoa, he's huge.
真好吃
Yummy.
好极了 现在又是什么情况
Great, what now?
我来帮忙控制这次帽子事件的局势
I'm here to help get this situation with the hats under control.
把他抬起来 小伙子们
Lift him up, boys!
放我下来 我还要更多的帽子
Whoa! Hey! Put me down! I want more hats!
你们要把弗洛伊德怎么样
Hey, what are you doing with my boy Floyd?
你们两个跟我来
You two come with me.
你闯大祸了 古德曼
Ah! You've really done it now, Goodman.
什么
What? Oh.
他们是相关负责人 总统先生
These are the men responsible, Mr. President.
总统 太酷了
The president. Cool.
-你好吗 -出什么事了
- What's up? - Uh, what is going on?
今天早些时候 我们的通讯监控队
Earlier today, our transmissions monitoring team
为我们传来了这段录音
forwarded us this recording.
调度员 没人再把我们当成执法人员
Dispatch, nobody's taking us seriously
认真对待了
as officers of the law,
因为我们没有帽子了
'cause we don't have hat anymore.
看 那家伙也很了解帽子
See? That guy knows about the hats, too.
-那个人是你 警长 -是吗
- That was you, Sheriff. - Oh.
你看 我说的话我自己心里有数
Well, see, I know what I'm talking about, then.
这只是警长自己的蠢理论罢了
Ugh. This is just some dumb theory Sheriff has.
警长 那你就得接受你应得的结果
Then, Sheriff, you're gonna get what you deserve.
是吗
I am?
一句感谢
A thank you.
什么
What?
如果执法人员和他们帽子的消息传出去了
If word got out about law officers and their hats,
市民可能会来偷帽子
citizens might steal them
让他们自己变得不再不受重视
to render them un-taken-seriously-able.
这将会陷入彻底的无政♥府♥状态
It would be total anarchy.
你是执法机关的最高层
Ugh. You're the highest level of law enforcement
你也没戴帽子
and you're not wearing hats.
那为什么还把你当回事
Why take you seriously, hmm?
他说的有道理
Uh, he does have a point.
那我就该让你们见识一下了
Then it's time I show you both something.
总统
-什么 -一顶隐形帽
- Huh? - An invisible hat?!
我以为这只是我自己的结论
I always thought it was just my own theory,
但警长帮我证实了
but now Sheriff's confirmed it.
难怪人们把你更当回事
No wonder people take you more seriously than me.
别担心 我还有
Not to worry, I made extras!
-给 -谢谢
- There you go. - Thanks.
副总统
将军
副警长 警长
-谢谢你 长官 -我的隐形帽
- Thank you, sir. - My own invisible hat!
我们是不是应该先考虑眼前的大问题
Shouldn't we be focusing on the big problem at hand?
月球上的猫吗
The cats on the moon?
什么 不 弗洛伊德
What? No. Floyd?
-对了 -没错
- Oh. Oh, yeah. - Oh. Right.
我们要带他去哪
Where are we taking him?
去一个改变他味蕾的场所
To a facility where his taste buds will be altered.
这样他就不会再吃我们的帽子了
Then he won't eat any more of our hats.
弗洛伊德 快看我的新隐形帽
Floyd? Check out my new invisible hat!
还有更多帽子
More hats?
我要更多的帽子
I want more hats!
长官 那个胖子正在以惊人的速度
Sir? The fat guy is rolling across the country
在我们的国土上滚动
at an alarming speed.
二十分钟内 他会到达阿尔布开克
In 20 minutes, he'll reach Albuquerque.
会毁掉整座城市
The entire city will be destroyed.
我们可以用核武器 把他解决
Hey, we can use the nuke. Let's take him out.
-什么 不行 -不 你不能杀了弗洛伊德
- What? No. - No, you can't kill floyd.
肯定有更合理的办法能让他减速
I'm sure there's a logical way we could slow him down.
也许我们可以
Maybe we could --
让他减速 好主意
Slow him down? Brilliant.
如果东海岸所有人同时跳起来
If everybody on the east coast jumped at once,
就可以改变地球的轴角 让他停下
it could shift the planet's axis enough to slow him to a stop.
-什么 我可没这么说 -好主意 古德曼
- What? That's not what I said. - Brilliant idea, goodman.
-不 这太扯了 -他说的没错
- No, that's ridiculous. - He's right.
根本不可能及时调动那么多人
There's no way to contact that many people in time.
我有办法 调度员
Hey, I know. Dispatch?
怎么了
Yo, yo?
找一些东海岸的人
Get some people on the east coast
让他们同时跳起来
to all jump at once.
你都快把我逼疯了
Man! You drivin' me mad-crazy, yo.
你得说具体点
You gots to be more specific.
"一些"是多少人
How many people is "Some"?
你懂的 在一个人和所有人之间
Oh, you know, somewhere between one and all the people.
好吧 警长
All right, then, Sheriff.
你想和我玩这套 是吗
You wanna play it this way, baby?
那就是所有人
All the people, it is. Yo, yo, yo?
东海岸的粉丝们 听好了
All my east coat people, listen up!
一 二 三
1, 2, 3!
跳起来
Jump!
不好 他滚得比之前更快了
Oh, no. He's hurtling even faster than before.
五分钟内 他会冲上丑脸山
In five minutes, he'll ramp off
进入平流层
dumb face mountain into the stratosphere.
当他落地时 造成的冲击
When he lands, the impact will be greater
会比灭绝恐龙的陨石还大
than the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs.
副警长的计划让事态更加恶化了
Oh! Deputy's plan only made things worse.
我们为什么要听他的话
Why did we listen to him? Uhh...
等等 什么
Wait. Huh?
他没戴帽子
He wasn't wearing his hat!
我们就不该把他当回事
Oh, we shouldn't have taken him seriously.
拜托 这个想法太蠢了
Oh, come on. It was just a dumb idea
而且还不是我想出来的
that wasn't even mine, by the way.
你这下闯大祸了 古德曼
You've really done it now, Goodman.
引发世界末日
Caused the end of the world.
除非我们可以对丑脸山采取措施
Unless we do something about dumb face mountain.
把它抬起来 移到另一个州
Pick it up and move it to another state.
用一张大毯子把它盖上
Put a big rug over it?
或者解除导弹 把我送上去
Or disarm the missile, put me on it,
然后我在上面考虑该怎么办
then I'll figure it out from there?
-好主意 -就这么做
- Brilliant. - Yeah, let's do it.
解除导弹
Nuclear missile disarmed.
等等
Wait.
在找这个吗
Looking for this?
我的帽子
My hat!
现在我们不能把他的计划当回事了
Now, we can't take his plan seriously.
导弹已经解除 世界即将毁灭
The nuke is disarmed and the world is about to end.
只剩一件事了 先生们
Only one thing left to do. Gentlemen?
-警长 -什么
- Sheriff? - Huh?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
他们不会把我的计划当回事了
They won't take my plan seriously now,
但他们知道我没戴帽子前 还是接受了我的计划
but they did before they knew I wasn't wearing a hat.
你说得对
You were right.
帽子不重要
The hats don't matter.
重要的是好主意
What matters is good ideas.
就像这个
Like this one.
弗洛伊德 把嘴张开 保持住
Floyd, open wide and hang on!
警长 你味道不错
You taste good, Sheriff.
警长
Sheriff!
-谢天谢地你没事 -干得好 警长
- Thank goodness you're okay! - Way to go, Sheriff!
我很高兴 你终于明白了自己根本不需要帽子
And I'm glad you finally saw that you never needed your hat.
你们也会很高兴
Well, you'll also be glad to know
我们不会摧毁丑脸山
that we're no longer destroying dumb face mountain.