奇迹缔造者

《奇迹缔造者》前情提要
Previously on "Miracle Workers"...
我们要拯救世界 只需要
All we have to do to save the world
让这两个人接吻
is get these two to kiss.
你们有考虑过亲亲镜头吗
Have you guys ever thought about a Kiss Cam?
行动吧
Let's make it happen.
那里有对感觉不错的情侣噢
Ooh, there's a cozy-looking couple.
接吻 接吻 接吻 接吻
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
-接吻 接吻 -他们僵住了
- Kiss! Kiss! - They're choking.
我要回家了
I'm going home.
行吧 回家去吧
Okay, fine. Go home.
我们该怎么弥补这一切
How are we gonna fix this?
有人要来一份奇迹吗
Did someone order a miracle?
不赌了 我是来拯救世界的
The bet's off. u202dI'm here to save the world.
好吧 好吧
O-Okay.
该死
Shit.
你们这边怎么样了
Oh, how's this thing going?
天堂公♥司♥
机密文件
员工个人档案
姓名 雷蒙德
编号♥ 10278L031
生日 公元1804年3月29日
卒日 未知
职务 积云分配员
部门 浮云部
已工作时间 2世纪
我叫雷蒙德
My name is Raymond.
我在浮云部工作
I work u202din the Department of Clouds.
我们没有领导 没有方向
We have no leadership. No direction.
每天 我们只是来到公♥司♥
Every day, you just come in
做任何我们想做的云彩
and make any kind of cloud you want.
又大又蓬松的 或是又小又薄的
Big puffy cloud, little dotty cloud,
亦或是长条形的
long, streaky cloud...
随便 动手做吧
fine, go for it.
没人会在乎
No one cares.
有时候我太无聊了
Sometimes, I get so bored,
我喜欢把云彩做得像东西一样
I like to make my cloud look like things.
比如乌龟或是汽车
Like a turtle or a car or something.
偶尔会有孩子注意到
Occasionally, some kid will notice.
但大多数时间 没人会抬头看
But, mostly, nobody looks up.
天堂公♥司♥
机密文件
员工个人档案
姓名 娜迪亚
生日 804年3月29日
卒日 未知
部门 男性乳♥头♥部
已工作时间 12世纪
娜迪亚 来自男性乳♥头♥部
Nadia. u202dDepartment of Male Nipples.
它们本应该喷射橙汁
They were supposed to squirt orange juice.
男性乳♥头♥没有用 永远也不会有用
The male nipple doesn't work, and it never will.
但我们还是要每天早上打卡上班
But we still gotta clock in every morning
然后假装今天就是
and pretend that today's the day
我们改变乳♥头♥的那一天
that we're gonna crack that nipple.
我就说实话吧
I'll be honest:
我一直都磕药嗨着呢 你知道吗
I'm always high, you know?
我叫卡拉 我在虫子控制部工作
My name's Carla. I work in Bug Control.
或者可以叫 虫子"控制"部
Or should I say Bug "Control"?
我们控制不住它们
We can't control them.
它们想干什么就干什么
They do whatever they want.
他们到处倒是 在天上飞来飞去
They run all over the place, fly around in crazy circles.
它们都疯了
They're nuts.
我叫弗兰克
My name's Frank.
我制♥造♥北极光
I make the Northern Lights.
为什么没有东极光
Why are u202dthere no Eastern Lights?
为什么我不能试试西极光
Why can't I try some Western Lights?
我告诉你为什么
I'll tell ya why.
就因为妈的工会
The xxx union.
我们花了一千年
We spent a thousand years
做了一个"虫子控制头盔"
trying to make u202da "Bug-controlling helmet."
戴上它 就能操纵一只虫子
You put it on, you're supposed to be able to steer a bug.
蠢爆了
So stupid.
蠢爆了
So stupid.
劳资谈判奶奶个腿
Collective bargaining my ass.
扯淡的
It's horse shit.
好吧 很棒的离职面谈
Okay. Great exit interview.
还有什么想补充的吗
Do you have anything else you'd like to add?
这地方玩完了 我会很开心的
Just that I'll be happy when this place goes under.
同意
Well, right there with ya.
好消息是 不用等太久了 好了
Good news is, we don't have too long to wait. Okay.
倒计时0天
0小时59分06秒
祈祷回应部
Department of Answered Prayers.
提醒 请安排你们的离职面谈
Reminder to please schedule your exit interview.
祈祷回应部 提醒
Department of Answered Prayers, remind--
还没结束
Not yet.
我们去拯救这个古怪的星球吧
Let's save this weird-ass planet.
奇迹缔造者
第一季第七集
人类追踪器
数据
Status?
隔着四个街区
Four blocks apart
还在移♥动♥ 我们得想个办法
and still drifting. We need to find a way
让他们走到一起去
to get them back together.
那我们只有一个选择
Then we've only got one option:
把他们圈起来
We fence them in.
我们堵上他们走的大路
We block the roads they're on.
再封锁边道
Then we seal off the side streets
这样他们就只能朝彼此的方向移♥动♥了
so the only direction they can move is toward each other.
我们像圈牛一样 让他们越来越靠近
We corral them like cattle, closer and closer,
直到他们的嘴唇相碰
until their lips are touching.
好吧 我不确定
Okay, I'm -- I'm not sure
这样行得通 伊莱莎
we're gonna be able to do that, Eliza.
克雷格 我们现在没时间打安全牌了
Craig, we can't afford to play it safe right now.
不 我不是"打安全牌" 我保证
N-No, I'm not "playing it safe." I promise.
只是我们没有那么多人力
We -- We just don't have the manpower
去堵那么多条街
to block off all those routes.
没错
You're right.
我们需要帮助 我们去找其他部门帮忙
Yeah, we need help. Let's get the other departments.
罗茜 桑吉 你们去东边
Rosie, Sanjay, you go east,
召集从虫子控制部到腐蚀部所有人
round up everyone u202dfrom Bug Control to Erosion.
我们去西边
We'll go west and hit up the people
找气流 云朵和潮汐的人帮忙
in Currents, Clouds, and Tides.
我也去帮忙
And I'll help, too.
-真好 -谢了
- Yay. - Thank you.
你在这就已经帮大忙了
You're helping by just being here. Yeah.
-非常感谢你 -太好了
- That's so nice of you. - Great.
有人吗
Hello?
有人吗
Hello?!
有人吗
Hello?
大家都去哪了
Where is everyone?
不知道
I don't know.
那是什么声音
What is that?
上 上 上
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
末日派对
交给我
I got this.
好了 大家听着
All right, everybody, look.
技术上说你们所有人仍然是这里的雇员
All of you are technically still employees here,
至少在未来...
at least for the next...
三十八分钟是这样的
thirty-eight minutes.
因此如果你们不来帮忙
So if you don't help us,
你们就是玩忽职守
you'll be in dereliction of your duty,
那所有的离职费就都告吹了
which means a forfeiture of all severance packages.
糟了
Oh, shit.
来吧 拿上你们的工具
So go on. Get your gear.
我们有工作要做呢
We've got work to do.
把它开动起来吧
Yeah, let's fire it up!
伙计们 启动了
Hey, guys, it's running!
这边
Over here.
倒计时
0小时31分07秒
相距12个街区
12 blocks apart.
-大家行动起来 -快 动起来
- Okay, let's go! Let's go! - Go, go, go, go!