男追女（2015）

我妈特别好
My mom is awesome.
像干脆面一样干脆的响指
Snaps you can eat off of.
?现在就让我们来假设一下?
Here's a little bit of a hypothetical
?如果我说我介意了怎么办?
What if I were to say that I'm no longer cool with it?
?就随便聊聊?
Just throwing it out there
?我现在真的是这么想的?
Not that that's actually how I feel, but if...
?你会分手吗??
Would you stop dating?
不会
No.
我们现在还挺认真的
I mean, we're kind of a thing now.
这样啊! 那也没... 没事...
Yeah! Yeah, no, that’s... that's...
我也这么想
Yeah, that's what I thought, okay.
- 好吧 - 好吧
- Cool. - Cool.
- 那晚安哦! - 晚安了 哥们
- Well, good night! - Good night, man.
我们走吧
All right, come on, this way.
暴躁先生不太爱娱乐啊
Mr. Cranky Pants is not a showbiz fan.
- 这大早上的! - 好好 走吧
- In the morning! - Okay, come on.
我天
Jesus.
敲敲 不好意思
Knock, knock. Sorry, uh...
那门... 那门是从外面锁的?
The door... the door, um, is it locked from the outside?
- 每天都有人把你锁进来? - 不是啊!
- Does someone lock you in every night? - No!
我们开了半天了
Cause we're having a hell of a time opening
推就行了啊! 推 它就是个门
Just push it! Push it. It's a door.
- 推完了得抬一下那种吗? - 我好困啊 大哥!
- Is it a push-and-lift? - I'm so tired, man!
- 要抬吗? - 我不知道!
- Push-and-lift? - I don't know!
- 好好 - 就是个门而已
- Okay, fine. - It's a door.
我好困 求你了
I'm tired, please.
毕竟你住这嘛
You know, you live here, so...
你都来过几百万次了
You've been in here a million times.
还什么我住在这 拜托啊 大哥
I live here. Jesus Christ, man.
是不是推完要抬的那种啊?
So is it...is it a push-and-lift?
有完没完!
Come on!
迈克有没有发你他做的电子邀请函?
Did, did Mike send you that E-vite that he made
是罗莎的生日派对
for Rosa's birthday party with the
上面有忍♥者神龟的?
with the Ninja Turtles?
可爱死了
It was so cute.
发了 他发给我了 我收到了
Yeah, yeah, he sent it to me. I received it.
你要去吗?
You gonna go?
这个 我不知道
Ah, meh, I don't know.
真不知道吗?
Really?
你要我怎么说? 他们在一起了
What do you want? They're a couple.
他们现在正儿八经在一起了
They're, like, actually a couple now.
我知道我不应该介意的 但是
I know I'm supposed to be cool with it, but, uh,
但是很难啊... 看着他们好太难了
yeah, it's hard... it's hard for me to be around them.
是啊 我理解
Yeah, no, totally. I get that.
- 我能给你点建议吗? - 不是吧
- Can I give you some advice? - Oh, shit.
行吧 你说
Yeah, do it.
唯一忘掉罗莎的方法
The only way you're gonna get over Rosa
就是找一个新的人
is to try to find someone new.
也许你是对的
Yeah, maybe you're right.
真的特别特别好玩
It was so, so, so fun.
然后回家路上 街边有个人
And then, on the drive home, we found a dude
在卖♥♥烟花
selling fireworks on the side of the road.
我买♥♥了最大的一个
I bought the biggest one.
叫泰迪 爆斯福
It's called the Teddy Blows-evelt.
打算在零点放烟花 为这个小可爱庆生
Gonna set it off at midnight to celebrate this little cutie.
迈克 这个派对真是
Wow, Mike, this is a really
真是个棒呆了的派对
this is a really awesome party.
- 这真是个棒呆了小妞 - 宝贝!
- This is a really awesome lady. - Babe!
我在这呢 宝贝
Hey, baby.
各位大大们好啊!
What's up, party people?
你来了啊 太好了
Oh, good, you made it.
是我们来了
Actually, we made it.
莉斯 这是我的新女友 波莎
Liz, meet my new girlfriend, Bosa.
波莎? 很高兴认识你
Bosa? Nice to meet you.
她是不是特好?
Isn't she great?
是啊
Yeah.
- 我们去拿点喝的吧 - 好嘞
- Let's go get a drink. - Yeah, you got it.
在这等我啊
Stay put.
别乱吃垃圾
Don't eat any garbage.
- 乔♥石♥... - 怎么了?
- Okay, Josh... - Yes?
你不觉得波莎有点眼熟吗?
Doesn't Bosa remind you of someone?
安吉丽娜朱莉夫人?
Huh. Uh, Dame Angelina Jolie?
- 她和罗莎很像 - 她才不像罗莎
- She looks a lot like Rosa. - She looks nothing like Rosa.
- 乔♥石♥! - 奥洛夫博士?
- Josh! - Dr. Orloff?
你的罗莎克隆人出故障了
Your Rosa clone is malfunctioning.
我按你的要求写的程序
I tried to create what you asked.
但她是个怪物
But she's a monster.
我真的非常抱歉
I'm so sorry.
- 乔♥石♥! - 怎么了?
- Josh! - Yeah?
- 真的吗? - 怎么了?
- Really? - What?
我知道你放不下罗莎
Okay, I know you're stuck on Rosa,
但克隆一个她也不是解决办法啊
but cloning her is not the solution.
我没有放不下罗莎
I am not stuck on Rosa.
我一直就喜欢棕头发棕瞳孔的啊
That's always been my type: brown hair, brown eyes,
基因式 AAAAAGCTGCCCTAAAA
genetic sequence AAAAAGCTGCCCTAAAA.
重点是我们非常开心啊
Look, the point is, we're really happy.
杀了...
Kill...
我
me.
该死
Shit.
不 不 不 不 不 不 放下
No, no, no, no. No, no, oop, oh, okay, no, no.
放下 放下
No, no, no.
放下!
Yield!
放下!
Yield!
能给我一杯威士忌吗?
Can I get a whiskey, please?
安静下! 大伙听我说一句
Hold up! Yo! Listen up, everybody.
我只耽误大家一分钟
I just want to say something real quick.
我不是因为她生日才甜言蜜语
And I am not just saying this because it's her birthday.
但是 罗莎 你是我见过的最好的
But, Rosa, you are the kindest,
最聪明的 最有趣的 最性感的
smartest, funniest, sexiest babe
可爱♥女♥人♥
I have ever met.
敬我亲爱的小肉肉
So here's to my little choo-choo
我是你的大号♥放荡小火车
from your big ol' loose caboose.
生日快乐 罗莎
Happy birthday, Rosa.
生日快乐 罗莎!
Happy birthday, Rosa!
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
乔♥石♥ 乔♥石♥!
Whoa, Josh, Josh!
等等
Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
所有人!
Everybody!
今天也是我女朋友的生日!
Today is also my girlfriend's birthday!
波莎!
Bosa!
她今早出生在一个离心分离器里!
She was born this morning in a centrifuge!
她爱我 我也爱她
And she loves me, and I love her,
所有人都爱她
and everybody loves her.
敬我的...
So from...to my...to my, uh,
敬我的跳跳软软兔
hoppy, floppy bunny rabbit
我是... 你的矮胖胡萝卜小男人
from... from your chunky little carrot man,
生日快乐 波莎!
happy birthday, Bosa!
生日快乐 波莎
Happy birthday, Bosa.
杀了我
Kill me.
波莎有太多可爱之处了
There's a lot to love about Bosa,
我不仅说的是她漂亮的脸蛋 和大手掌
and I don't just mean her pretty face or her giant hand.
还有 我告诉你
And...and...and I'll tell you
我最爱她的就是
the thing I like about her the most:
她绝不是那种
she's definitely not the kind of person
在给出所有暗示
that would go out with your best friend
说她想要亲你之后
after giving you every indication
再跟你最好的朋友出去约会的人
that she wanted to kiss you.
好的 说得很好 兄弟
All right. Good speech, bro.
谢谢你 兄弟! 嗨起来!
Thanks, bro! Radical!
跟上节奏 老兄!
Catch a wave, dude!