好兆头

我要声明 我只允许自己施展一个小小的奇迹
Can I just say that I do only allow myself one tiny weeny miracle?
仅供暖场和热身
Just to warm the audience and myself.
比如说
For instance,
把一颗平平无奇的大头菜
turning a common turnip
变成墨水瓶
into an inkwell.
但是在这之前
But before...
我所做的一切
that, everything...
都是通过
I do is accomplished by...
炉火纯青的魔术技巧来完成的
skillful conjuring alone.
现在 我这里有
Now... I have here
一枚六便士
a sixpence
还有一法寻[1/4便士]
and a farthing.
但是
But...
如果我就这样握住拳
if I close my hand thusly,
只要一眨眼的功夫
for but a blink of an eye...
怎么样
Well?
他在说什么 -他说
What is he saying? - He says...
香蕉 -香蕉
Banana. - Banana.
鱼 -鱼
Fish. - Fish.
大猩猩 -大猩猩
Gorilla. - Gorilla.
鞋带 -鞋带
Shoe lace. - Shoe lace.
少许肉豆蔻
A dash of nutmeg.
香蕉 鱼 大猩猩 鞋带和少许肉豆蔻
Banana, fish, gorilla, shoe lace with a dash of nutmeg.
然后
And...
法寻硬币
The farthing...
不见了
has vanished.
是啊
Right.
你的表演可真是太棒了
What you just did is remarkable,
俺完全想不通这是怎么做到的
I don't have the foggiest notion how it's done.
但这只是一个小小的近景魔术 对吧
But that's a trick for close quarters, eh?
你今天晚上的表演需要更精彩一点
What you do tonight has to be bigger.
我明白了 你说得对 确实
I see, yeah, you're right, of course.
我们得表演一些新鲜的 很有戏剧性的魔术
We need something new, something dramatic.
你知不知道去哪里
You know if there's somewhere we can...
能买♥♥到一些戏法
I don't know, buy tricks.
是有一家叫威尔·格德斯通的魔术店
Well, there is ah... Will Goldstone's magic shop.
但是仅对专业魔术师开放
But that's for professional conjurers only.
您这位骗过纳芙蒂蒂的大魔术师
You, my Nefertiti fooling fellow,
将要在西区舞台上演出
are about to perform on the West End Stage.
如果这都不能说明你是个专业魔术师
If that doesn't make you a professional conjurer,
我不知道还有什么能证明
I don't know what does.
这个东西很棒的 先生
Oh, that's marvelous, sir.
你了解它吗 -不
Are you familiar with it? - No.
把盒子里的东西给我 我来展示给你看
Well, please hand me the contents and I will gladly show you.
其乐无穷啊 其乐无穷
A lot of fun that, a lot of fun.
只要两块六 -嗯 但是
And it's only two and six. - Oh, well, that's...
不是我们要买♥♥的那种
not the sort of thing we're looking for.
我需要足够震撼观众的东西
I need a showstopper.
比如这些美妙的玩意
Like these beauties.
太好了
Oh, yes.
我天生就心灵手巧
Well, a sort of natural dexterity.
这个怎么样
How about this?
我们管这个叫"专业魔术师的噩梦"
We call this one the professor's nightmare.
我手里有一根长绳子
Now, I've got a big piece of rope,
一根不长不短的中号♥绳子
a medium size piece...
请您稍等几分钟 先生
Ah, with you in a few moments, sir.
还有一根短绳子
And a wee baby piece.
如果我把三根绳子的一端对齐
Now, if I gather up the ends here,
再把不等长的另一端对齐
and collect all of the unequal ends here,
用力拉一拉
a little tug,
它们就都变成等长的绳子了
and they all stretch to become exactly the same length.
你看 长绳跟中号♥绳一样长了
You see the big piece is the same length as the medium size piece
而短绳也跟另外两根一样长短
and the short piece is the same length as the other two.
看这根 这是那根长绳子
See, this one here, this one is the long piece.
跟其他两根一比就能看出来 对吧
You can tell it apart from the others, right?
或许是灯光的原因 看 这是长绳
Perhaps is the light. You see, there's the long piece,
这是中绳 这是短绳
there's the medium piece, and there's the short piece.
这最适合您这种有天分的爱好者了
Now this is perfect for a talented amateur such as yourself.
有天分的爱好者
A talented amateur?
告诉你吧 有人请我上西区的剧院演出呢
Well, I'll have you know I'm booked to appear in the West End.
风车剧院 今晚八点半
Erm, the Windmill theater at 8:30 p.m. tonight.
谢谢您捧场
Thank you very much.
我想要那种更大型的魔术道具
I'm looking for something with a bit more scale.
更刺♥激♥的
Something climactic.
比如这种
Like that.
嘴接子弹 厉害
A Bullet Catch, lovely.
不不不 这恐怕不太适合您
No, no, no. I'm afraid that's not for you, sir.
这个怎么样 -不 我认准了 这就是我的重头戏
What about this? - No, no, I've found my showstopper.
这个多少钱 -您是不知道
How much is it? - You do not understand.
有足足十二人因表演这个丧命了
Twelve people have died presenting this effect.
几年前 我卖♥♥了一件给一位中国朋友
Years ago, I sold one to a lovely Chinese fella
他现在坟头草两米高了
and he ended up six foot under.
我可不想您也步他后尘
I'd hate to see the same thing happen to you.
多少钱 -你想好了吗
How much? - Are you sure?
你真的想好了吗 -心意已决 多少钱
Are you sure you are sure? - Quite sure. How much?
两镑十先令
Two pound ten.
来♥复♥枪♥单卖♥♥ 四镑十五先令
And another four pound 15 shillings for the rifle.
但你得有持枪许可
But you'll need a firearms license.
我有许可的 我已经有枪了
Oh, I have one of those already.
你有什么 -是的 我书店里
You what? - Oh, yes, I keep a Derringer
有把德林格手♥枪♥ 就藏在一本掏空的书里
in the bookshop, inside a hollowed out book.
以防万一
In case I get into a scrape.
你读书太多 傻掉了
You read too many books.
一共七镑...
And seven pounds, and...
五先令
five shillings.
你的命可远远不只值七镑五先令啊
Your life is worth a lot more than seven pounds five shillings.
那...再加二十镑
Well, is a life worth more than...
够不够买♥♥他这条命
27 pounds and five shillings?
随你们去吧
On your head be it.
反正我可警告过你们了
I mean, I have warned you.
你今晚要想演出成功 除非有奇迹发生
It'll take a miracle for you to be able to perform this safely tonight.
所以这道具卖♥♥给我们才正合适
That's why you just sell us the trick.
奇迹的事我们自己操心就好
Leave the miracles to us.
你真的不明白 看
You don't understand, look.
什么进度了
Where are we?
看这个 你得有钢铁般的意志
Here, you need nerves of steel.
还要有直布罗陀岩一样稳当的手
And a hand as steady as the rock of Gibraltar.
这俩我都有
Well, I have those.
先生 去那边看看小魔术道具吧 那边
Sir, go and take a look at the pocket tricks over there, go on.
我稍后就来
I'll be with you in a minute.
你需要一位百分百可靠的神枪手
You're going to need a 100% reliable marksman.
你可以全心全意信任的那种
Someone you can really trust.
否则 你就会死
Otherwise, it's lethal.
我正好有个完美人选
Oh, I've got the perfect man for the job.
至少...
At least,
我是这么认为的 抱歉 我们私下聊两句
I think I have... excuse me, for one minute.
恶作剧戒指
你来开枪 我来接子弹
You'll do the shooting, I'll catch the bullet.
难的部分都交给我
I'll do all the hard bits.
你是恶魔 开枪这事肯定熟得不得了吧
As a demon, you must have fired off a lot of guns, yeah?
我♥干♥ -好耶
I'll do it. - Yay.
但万一出差错 你同不同意打破你那个...
But if anything goes wrong, can we agree that we break your...
一个奇迹的限制
one miracle limit?
咱俩谁也不想写报告 对吧
Neither of us wants the paperwork, do we?
您好 先生 假耳朵两先令一个 谢谢惠顾
Excuse me, sir. Fake ears are two shillings, thank you very much.
这不是假耳朵
It's not fake.
是我的真耳朵
It's my own.
无意冒犯 先生
I didn't mean it, sir.
那个
I mean,
您想要什么随便拿吧
take everything you want.
都算我头上