娃娃奇缘

Look. Girl, look how crusty it is.
-该死 恶心 -就说吧
- Fuck, gross! - I know, right?
要是你给我洗一洗 那真是帮我个大忙了
You would do me, like, a huge favor if you'd wash me.
不 姐们 绝对不行
No! No. Dude, absolutely not.
我...我不能动你
I... I can't move you.
他不能知道我看到你了 该死
He can't even know that I saw you. Like, fuck.
我们的任务就是要维持
Our whole, like, mission statement as a couple
情侣的真诚 没有谎言
is, like, honesty and no lies,
我现在已经是严重侵犯他的隐私了 该死
and I've totally invaded his privacy already. Fuck!
对 我理解 但是你真的希望他
Right. Like, I hear you, but do you really want him
用插过这种起片儿逼的屌♥
to fuck you with his dick after it's been inside
再插♥你♥吗
this crusty pussy?
上帝啊 芭芭拉 我不知道
Oh, Jesus Christ, Barbara! I don't know.
他还是会洗个澡什么的
Like, he takes showers or whatever.
是啊 但是洗澡是洗不掉
Yeah, but you can't shower an infection
屌♥上的病的 笨蛋
out of the dickhole, dumbass.
我一个朋友就是这样
This has happened to friends of mine.
他会因为干自己精♥液♥的干片
He's gonna get a disease from fucking
-而染病 -天啊
- his own dried-up jizz flakes. - Oh, my God.
然后他就会把病传染给
And then he's gonna pass that disease on
你鲜活贲张的阴♥道♥
to your vibrant, living pussy.
你就得去找你的医生
You're gonna have to go to your doctor.
你就得解释到底发生了什么
You're gonna have to explain what happened.
-好吧 芭芭拉 -在
- Okay. Barbara? - Yeah.
芭芭拉 事情是这样的
Barbara? Here's what's happening.
我有点迷糊 因为我吃了点过期的
I'm a little fucked-up right now 'cause I took, like, expired...
那种主面的 褪黑激素口香糖
um, these homeopathic, like, melatonin gummies,
我...我还抽了很多大♥麻♥
and I've h... I've smoked a lot of weed.
但显然我现在出现幻觉了
But clearly I'm having, like, a hallucinatory episode
你活了 你招手让我进来
where you came to life and, like, beckoned me in here
因为我刚刚要见你
'cause I just needed to see you,
我也不想被抓到
and I didn't want to take responsibility
偷偷摸摸的
for snooping, you know?
所以就这样了 你超级性感的
So here we are, and, like, you're super fucking hot.
-谢谢你 -我知道 我很没有安全感
- Thank you. - I know. I feel really insecure about it,
我们现在什么都做不了
and there's nothing we can do about that now.
不不不不 能做
No, no, no, no, no, there are things!
能做的 宝贝
There is! Babe.
宝贝 有肉毒 有真皮
Babe, there's Botox. There's Juvéderm.
你做了额头抬高术后
You would benefit so much
肯定会好看很多
from a forehead enlargement.
我都不知道有没有这回事
I don't know if it's a thing.
好了 芭芭拉
Okay, Barbara?
我就直说了 你额头太敦实了
I'm gonna go ahead and say your forehead's stocky.
我要回到床上去了
I'm gonna go back to bed right now,
等我醒来 你会重新成为一个娃娃
and when I wake up, you're gonna be inanimate again,
我要再买♥♥一瓶新的褪黑素
and I'm gonna buy a new bottle of melatonin,
我们以后不要再这样了
and we never have to do this again.
见到你很高兴
It was so nice meeting you.
不不不 科迪 科迪 拜托
No, no, no, no. Cody, please, please, please.
科迪 我们好好聊聊 姐妹
Cody, let's just talk about this, girl.
我很喜欢你
I like you so much.
科迪 你真是个蠢婊♥子♥
Cody, you're being such a dumb cunt right now!