娃娃奇缘

晚安软糖
宝贝 这些过期了吗
Hey, babe, are these expired?
还可以 贱♥人♥
Still got it, you fucking slut.
娃娃奇缘
第一季第一集
好吧 如果我是一个乘务员
Okay, so, what if I'm, like, a flight attendant,
我们正在一个长途国际航♥班♥上
and we're on this long-haul international flight,
你是...你是一个
and you're, like... you're, like, this, like,
毛手毛脚的头等舱贵宾
handsy, entitled first-class passenger?
等等
So, wait.
我是在所有人面前摸你还是...
So, I'm grabbing you, like, in front of everyone, or...?
不 想法不错 也许还是...
Um... No. Okay, good point. Maybe it's like, you know, uh...
类似于 "先生 你不能到酒水间来
Like, "Sir, you can't be back here in the cockpit.
或者说这个
"Or the vestibule thing
只有乘务员才能来的小房♥间
"where the flight attendants hang out.
-随便叫什么名字吧" -所以应该是
- Whatever that's called." - So it's kind of like,
"不好意思 小姐
"Uh, excuse me, miss.
请你把这些坚果暖一暖"
I'm gonna need you to warm up these nuts."
我抬眼这样
Oh, I hated that..
我绝对不会再上你了
I'm never gonna fuck you again.
你怎么能靠写作得了两次艾美奖
How do you have two Emmys for writing?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
要是我没有得艾美奖 你才不会和我交往
We both know you wouldn't date me if I didn't have those Emmys.
才不是 你太过分了
That is not true. That's so mean.
我不是为了艾美奖才和你交往的
I am not dating you for Emmys.
我和你交往是因为...
I am dating you because...
你的房♥子很棒 我讨厌我的公♥寓♥
you have a really nice house and I really hate my apartment.
这个...
What is this, like...
亮片是什么
sequin glitter thing?
-可能是你的... -这是从哪里来的
- it's probably from one of your, uh... - Where'd this even come from?
我不♥穿♥亮片的 怎么回事 你...
I don't fuck with glitter, man. What? Like...
你去了脱衣舞俱乐部什么的吗
Oh, did you go to a strip club or something?
-什么 没有 -没有 我...
- What? No! - No, I-I...
我们去过脱衣舞俱乐部 我不介意脱衣舞俱乐部
We've been to strip clubs. I have no problem with strip clubs.
我知道 我知道
Yeah, I know, I know.
不 我没去过脱衣舞俱乐部
No, I haven't been to a strip club.
-我没去过任何... -好吧
- I haven't been to any... - Okay.
那你出轨了吗
Then are you cheating on me?
不 天啊 我没有出轨
No. Oh, my God. I'm not cheating on you.
-那好奇怪 这是从... -我有个充气娃娃
- Okay, well, this is weird. Where did this...? - I have a sex doll.
你什么
You what?
我有一个充气娃娃
I have a sex doll.
我几乎没有怎么...
That I barely ever even...
用过
use, and, uh...
有一条有亮片的裙子
There's this one dress with sparkles.
好吧
Yeah, okay.
可能有一片掉下来了
That probably one fell off, maybe.
-嗯 -然后...
- Yeah. - And, um...
不 没关系的...
No, that's totally fine. Um...
这...
Well, it-it...
你看上去不像没关系的样子
it doesn't seem like it's fine with you.
不 我只是...我只是在接受这件事
No. No. I'm just, uh... I'm-I'm just processing.
我没有告诉过你 我没想过
I didn't tell you about it, I didn't think
要告诉你 因为我觉得...这没什么大不了的
to tell you about it 'cause it's... it's no big deal.
就像黄♥片♥什么的
I mean, it's like porn or something.
-不 -就是我从日本网购的
- No. - It's a Fleshlight with boobs
会亮的行走手电筒
that I got off of a Japanese website.
她来自日本
Ooh. She's from Japan.
很国际化范
Very international woman.
她的名字叫木子吗
Is her name Kimiko?
天啊 她比我还性感吗
Oh, my God. Is she hotter than me?
-说实话 如果她比我 -科迪 科迪
- Like, be honest. Like, if she's hot... - Cody. Cody.
如果木子比我性感
If Kimiko's hotter than me...
你开始嘲讽我了
Now you're mocking me.
对不起 我没想进行怪癖羞辱的 对不起
Sorry. I'm not trying to kink-shame you. I'm sorry
-如果你有这种感觉的话 -不不不
- if that's what it felt like. - No, no, no.
我自己也有成千上百的幻想
I have a million fetishes.
我就喜欢我们感情的这点
I love this part of our relationship.
我喜欢我们一起做各种奇怪的事
I love that we do all this weird shit together.
真的 我很喜欢
Really. I love that.
我能见见她吗
Can I just see her?
-不行 -为什么不行
- No. - Why not?
这是我的私人恶心癖好
It's my private gross thing.
就像你今天早上拉的屎
Like the shit you took this morning.
我知道你拉屎了 因为我们互相坦陈
And I know you took a shit this morning because we have honesty.
我不知道那是什么颜色的
I don't know what color it was...
因为那是隐私
because of privacy.
好吧
Okay.
当然是棕色
I mean, obviously, brown.
你...
You...
我明白 有界限嘛
I hear you. This is a boundary.
没关系 我们没事
It's all good. We're all good.
我们没事
We're good.
你还想...
You still want to, uh...?
我不知道 我有点累了
I don't know, I'm kind of tired.
累到能...
Tired enough for...
性感解剖吗
sexy autopsy?
好啊
Yeah, okay.
我是一具漂亮的尸体还是面目全非
So, am I, like, a pretty corpse, or am I, like, all fucked-up?
-你面目全非 -好吧
- You're fucked-up. - Okay.
宝贝
Baby.
丹
Dan.
丹 你在打鼾
Dan? You're snoring.
能不能翻过去
Can you roll on your side, please?
有人吗
Hello?
我在这里
I'm in here.
我可以听到你说话
I can hear you.
我知道你在外面
I know you're out there.
你的呼吸声很重
You breathe, like, really heavy.
你好啊
Sup?
木子
Kimiko?
木子是谁
Who's Kimiko?
上帝啊...
Holy shit. Oh, um...
我是说 我...
Well, I mean, I...
我开玩笑地给你取名叫木...木子
I, like, jokingly named you Kimi... Kimiko
因为你是日本产的
'cause you were made in Japan.
天啊
Oh, my God.
这真是太种族歧视了
That's, like, really fucking racist.
我是说..
Oh, n... I mean...
我只是在丹面前提过 所以...
Like, I only said it in front of Dan, so...
好吧 这么说好像也没什么用
Okay. Well, that doesn't make it any better.
不管怎么样 你好
Uh, anyway, hi.
你好 我叫芭芭拉
Hello. I'm Barbara.
芭芭拉·希姆鲍姆哈蒙
Barbara Himmelbaum-Harmon.
芭芭拉 好吧
Barbara. Okay.
芭芭拉 抱歉 很抱歉
Barbara, sorry. I'm so sorry.
没关系 没事
It's okay. It's fine.
没事的 妹子
It's fine, girl.
其实 你知道吗
Actually, you know what?
其实你的确有一件事可以帮我
There is something you could do that would really help me out.
你可以弥补我 因为你是种族歧视
Just so that you can make it up to me because you're racist
刚刚说的话很冒犯
and that was really offensive.
我体内有很多干掉的
So, I have, like, a ton of Dan's splooge
-丹的体液 -什么
- dried up inside of me. - What?
没错
Yeah.
还挺可爱的 丹经常会
It's so cute. Dan comes inside of me
插♥进♥来 然后 我觉得
a lot, and then, like, I think
他好像沉浸在这种激♥情♥里
he gets so caught up in the passion
然后都忘了要把我洗干净
that he actually forgets to wash me.
他有时候会用短袖把我外面擦一擦
Like, he'll wipe the outside of me with a T-shirt sometimes,
-但是也不是经常这么做 -什么 天啊
- but he doesn't even always do that. - What? Oh, my God.
你看看 姐妹 看看都起片了