娃娃奇缘

你知道人类阴♥道♥的拉力是200磅吗
You know the human vagina can lift over 200 pounds?
不 不 是20磅
No, uh... no, it is 20 pounds.
我也不知道 我在视频网上看到的
I don't know, I-I saw, like, a YouTube thing about it.
我觉得我现在太嗨了 装不了
Oh. I think I got too high to do this.
不许这么说 你在开玩笑吗
Don't say that. Are you joking?
-不...好吧 -你太不负责任了
- N... Okay. - That's so irresponsible.
没关系 我可以的 我可以的
It's fine. I can do it. I can do it.
我可以的 我只是 慌了
I can do it. I just, like, got freaked out,
因为我觉得我是真的在做手术
'cause I felt like I was gonna perform, like, a real surgery,
所以我觉得我只是有点 警长
so I thought I would just get, like, a little toasted
这样会让我有自信 我就会开始装了
and it would give me confidence and I would just do it,
我想 反正我们等一下就要写作了
and I figured, you know, we're gonna write after this anyway.
嗯 我们不会这之后马上就写
Well, yeah, we're not gonna write, like, right after this.
我们不会吗
We're not?
嗯 我们要写一部女性友谊的剧 对吧
Yeah, we're writing a show about female friendship, right?
那你不觉得我们应该
Yeah, so don't you think we should, like,
真的先成为朋友吗
actually become friends first?
你管这叫什么
What do you call this?
好吧 你给我安装新的阴♥道♥是
Okay, yes, you installing my new vagina would be, like,
新篇章的完美开头
an amazing beginning to an episode,
但我的意思是 现在我们只会
but all I'm saying is, so far, all we've done is, like,
坐在你的公♥寓♥里讨论丹
sit in your apartment and talk about Dan.
我只是觉得这样有点没有意义
I just feel like it's kind of a no-brainer that,
我们应该一起去进行冒险
like, we should go on some adventures together
然后再开始写作
before we start writing.
-拜托 我们就不能... -我在想 装好以后
- Come on, man. Can't we just... - So I was thinking, after this,
我们收拾行囊 上路玩几天
we pack our bags, we hit the road for a few days
在星空下露营 一起快活几天
and camp under the stars, we have some laughs.
我也不知道 今天吗
I don't know, like... what, today?
为什么不呢
Why not?
我很忙 我有事要做的
I'm busy. I've got stuff to do.
你有丹的博客 丹的每周播客
Ugh. You have Dan's podcast, Dan's weekly podcast
-你每周都要去 -拜托 你...
- you go to every week. - Come on, man, just...
我只是想说我很抱歉
I'm just saying I'm sorry,
我觉得如果你偶尔做做自己的事
I feel like you would have a lot more power in your relationship
也许你能掌握更多的力量
if you actually had your own things going on every once in a while.
芭芭拉 我明白你代表我的那一部分
Barbara, I understand that you represent a part of me
需要质疑我和丹的美好感情的人格
that feels the need to question my very happy relationship with Dan,
但那并不代表你是对的
but that doesn't mean that you're right.
我并不需要玩什么游戏
I don't need to play games
并且让我自己能
and, like, you know, make myself unavailable
向他证明自己
to, like, prove myself to him.
我们早就过了这阶段 我们大号♥都不关门
We're past that. We poop with the door open sometimes.
-就是这里 这里 -我们什么都很坦诚
- Yeah, right there, right there. - Like, we tell each other everything.
除了我背着他
Except for the fact that I, like,
和他的前任充气娃娃发展出了
formed this unhealthy codependent relationship
一段不健康的共生关系
with his former sex doll.
我现在正在给她改装阴♥道♥
I'm, like, currently giving her a vaginal rejuvenation,
因为她说服了我...
'cause she can talk me into anything and...
该死 这东西算是装上去了吗
Goddamn it! Is this thing in yet?
嗯 算
Yeah. It is.
怎么了
What?
已经装上一会儿了
It has been for a while.
那你能感觉到这样吗
Like, you can feel this?
太好了
Oh, yeah.
你真是一个混♥蛋♥
Oh, you are such an asshole!
科迪 女子出游 只有你和我
Oh, Codes, a girls' trip, you and me.
肯定会很好玩的
Oh! It'll be so fun.
我们让丹看看你是一个独♥立♥不共生的女人
We'll show Dan what an independent codependent woman you are.
我们扔掉那些对我们没用的东西
We'll let go of the things that no longer serve us.
等等 我想保留那个
Wait! I want to hold on to that.
娃娃情缘
第一季第七集
公路旅行
Road trip...!
真不敢相信我被你说动了
I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
-顺便 那看上去很蠢 -什么
- That looks ridiculous, by the way. - What?
你让我挂在你脖子上的脏阴♥道♥
The dirty vagina you made me tie around your neck.
跟人皮杀手一样
Fuckin' Ed Gein-lookin' motherfucker.
随你怎么说 明明很可爱 你就是嫉妒
Whatever. It's so cute. You're just jelly.
不 你看上去很疯
Nah. You look insane.
有我不置可否的父权制疯狂吗
As insane as the patriarchy upon which I'm, like, commenting?
我可不觉得
No, I didn't think so.
科迪 自从我装上新的阴♥道♥
Codes, ever since I got this new vagina,
我觉得自己焕然一新
I honestly, like, I feel like a new woman.
我属于我自己了
Like, my own woman.
-那太好了 芭芭拉 -你也该试试
- That's great, Barbara. - You should try it sometime.
你是说拆掉我的阴♥道♥ 撞上一个新的吗
What, removing my vagina and getting a new one?
不
No.
不让你的男友侵占
Not letting every single moment of your life
你生活的每一分钟
be consumed by your boyfriend.
什么 才没有
What? It's not.
那你为什么一直看手♥机♥
Then why do you keep looking at your phone?
不 我只是...我想确认
No, that... I just... I wanted to make sure
他收到我之前的短♥信♥了
he got my text earlier, like,
因为他有正在输入 然后又消失了
'cause he dot-dot-dotted, but then the bubble disappeared,
我就觉得...
and I just felt like...
科迪 你听听你自己说的话
Cody! Do you fucking hear yourself?
你嘴里只有丹
All you ever do is talk about Dan.
丹丹丹 丹这个 丹那个 我满脑子只有丹
Dan, Dan, Dan this, Dan that, I'm obsessed with Dan,
我喜欢丹的屌♥ 就算闻上去有咖喱味
I love Dan's dick, even when it smells like curry.
我觉得我应该没说过这话
I don't feel like I've said that before.
如果我们连贝克德尔测试都通不过
How are we gonna write a feminist masterpiece
用来甄别电影是否推动了性别不平等
那还怎么写女权大作
if we can't even pass the Bechdel test?
该死 你知道贝克德尔测试是什么吧
Oh, shit. You do know what the Bechdel test is, right?
知道 芭芭拉 我知道贝克德尔测试是什么
Yeah, Barbara, yes, I know what the Bechdel test is.
我们的知识量是一样的
We know the same amount of stuff.
我们是同一个人 别装得你比我聪明
We're the same person. Stop trying to act like you're smarter than me.
是艾莉森·贝克德尔创立的 用来判断...
Created by cartoonist Alison Bechdel, it asks whether...
抱歉 我尿尿紧张
Sorry. I have pee anxiety.
你能不能...
Can you, like...?
内容是一部电影 或一部作品里
It asks whether a movie or, like, a work of fiction,
是不是至少有两名女性角色
um, has at least two female characters,
这两名角色还要讨论一些
and then the two characters have to talk about something
与男人无关的事
other than a man.
但好像一共有三条
But aren't there, like, three things?
嗯 还有一条
Yeah. There's, like, more to it than that.
我觉得 还有一条是
I think, um, one of the things is, like...
-她们都有名字吗 -我们有名字
- um, do they both have names? - Yeah. We have names.
我的名字有点像男孩 我不...
Yeah. I mean, mine's kind of a boy's name. I don't...
这应该无所谓
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
好吧 无所谓...
Okay. It doesn't matter. Um...
那...第三条是什么
So, then... What's the third thing?
不就是 是不是有两个女人
Isn't it just, like, that there are two women?
对对对 所以第一
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so one...
有两个女人吗
Are there two women?
有了
Which, you know, there are.
-第二 她们有名字吗 -她们有名字
- And then two, do they both have names? - They have names.
-第三 她们会聊男人以外的话题吗 -当然
- And three, do they talk about something other than a man? - Yeah.
好 我们只要不聊男人就能通过这个测试了
Okay. So all we have to do to pass this is just not talk about men.
天啊 我们肯定会很棒
Oh, my God, we're gonna be so good at this.
那就贝克德尔测试
Okay, so, Bechdel test?
-好 -现在...
- Yes! - Starting...
-开始 -开始
- now! - Now!
天 我们会是女权史上
Oh, my God, we're gonna be the best feminist-y feminists
最女权的女权
that were ever feminists!
这里很美吧
Really pretty out here, huh?
嗯 我太喜欢了
Yeah. I love it.
小时候 我爸爸经常会...
Growing up, my dad used to take...
怎么了
What?
只是 你♥爸♥爸
Oh, just like, your dad.
他是个男人吧