猫胆虫威（2020）

他没事吧
Is he okay?
他没事的
Oh, he's fine.
之前盖尔·加朵跟着我训练的时候
When Gal Gadot was training with me,
她身上着火 烧了12分钟
she was on fire for 12 minutes.
最后她用毯子把自己身上的火扑灭了
She put herself out with a blanket.
他身上的火才烧了12秒不到
He barely lasted 12 seconds.
你觉得这很好笑吗
This is funny to you?
一个主角必须学会淡定面对小事
A leading man must learn not to sweat the small stuff.
你说什么呢 这事还小吗
What are you talking about, the small stuff?
我他妈身上着火了啊 罗恩教练
I was on fucking fire, Coach Ron!
打住
Knock it off.
这里有女士在场 我想跟你介绍一下她
There's a lady present, and I want you to meet her.
哈特探员 这位是乔丹·金探员
Agent Hart, this is Agent Jordan King.
她会成为你的室友
She'll be your bunkmate.
很高兴认识你 这是我的荣幸
It is a pleasure to meet you. My pleasure.
好了 为什么她就可以被正常介绍
Okay, you want to explain to me why she gets this nice introduction?
为什么她没有被当头棒喝
Why isn't she getting hit in the head with a bat?
你打算什么时候给她来一棍子
When you gonna bop her?
-你说什么 -好吧 你知道...
- Excuse me? - Okay, you know...
每次他这样的时候
Just, when he does this kind of thing,
每次他开始抱怨的时候 我就直接当没听到
I just zone him out, when he starts to whine.
-来吧 我带你转转 -好吧
- Come on, I'll give you a tour. - Okay.
这里曾经是一家屠宰场 一直到70年代
Now, this used to be a slaughterhouse years ago, up till the '70s.
猫胆虫威
第一季 第三集
这就要说到规则二了
This brings me to rule number two:
不许在这里发生性行为
there will be no sexual intercourse on the premises.
好的 这不成问题
Yeah, that won't be a problem.
我也这么觉得
I didn't think it would be.
我知道你必须得说一下
I know you have to say it.
但没事的 我俩没问题
It-it's fine, we're good.
好的 那休息一下吧
All right. So, hey, take a beat.
好吧 放松
Okay? Relax,
20分钟后我们训练场见 好吗
and we'll see you out in 20 on the training ground, okay?
谢了 罗恩 你最棒了
Thanks, Ron. You're the best.
不必客气
It's a pleasure.
那家伙他妈的就是个变♥态♥
Dude is a fucking sociopath.
你这话是什么意思
How do you mean?
我这话是什么意思
How do I mean?
你真的想知道我这话是什么意思吗
Do you really want to know how I mean?
因为几天前我来这里的时候 刚好碰上出事
'Cause I was here a couple days ago when shit hit the fan.
有个人在这里
There was a guy in here
指控他杀了一个叫罗德里戈的家伙
accusing him of murdering some dude named Rodrigo.
-罗德里戈 -没错 罗德里戈
- Rodrigo? - Yes, Rodrigo.
我目睹了全程 然后 当我初次踏入这里时
Saw the whole thing. And, when I first walked in this bitch,
他们照着我的头来了一棍
they hit me in the head with a bat.
用的还不是塑料棍 是他妈的金属棍
Not no plastic bat. With a fucking metal bat.
今天 今天他还放任我自焚
And today, today, he let me catch myself on fire.
"放任我自焚"
"Let me catch myself on fire."
我不懂你为什么要复述一遍 没错
I don't know why you got to sound it out. Yes.
放 任 我
Let me catch--
我懂了 因为如果你一字一句地说
No, I see right there, that, 'cause if you slow it down...
你逐字说听起来就会很奇怪 但你懂我意思的
You slow it down, it don't sound right, but you get what I'm saying.
这事发生了 真的发生了
It happened. It fucking happened.
抱歉失态 好吗 只是
Look, I'm sorry, all right? It's just,
我没有手♥机♥ 而且这里的一切都很诡异
I don't have my phone, it's weird in here.
没有一件事能让我顺心
Stuff is just starting to fuck with me.
也许 也许是我有点抓狂了
Maybe, maybe I'm going a little stir-crazy.
我也不知道
I don't know.
水是臭的
That's shit.
这是下水道的水
It's shit water.
没错 该死的
Yep. Goddamn it.
至少现在你不用独自面对了 所以
Well, you're not alone anymore. So...
是啊 也许吧 但是
Yeah, well, maybe, but...
我是不是见过你
Do I know you?
我见过你
I do!
操 你是演那个情景喜剧的 和机器人的那个
Fuck! You're the girl from that sitcom, with the robot.
那个机器人管家 对吧
The robot that was a butler, right?
你经常和那个管家吵架
You used to argue with the butler.
"不要 滚出去"
"Uh-uh, get the fuck out of here, bu..."
你会这样 "贱♥人♥管家"
You'd do the thing. "Butler bitch."
-没错 -没错
- Yeah. - Yeah.
是啊
Yeah.
那个就是我
That's me.
现在不是了 我退出了
Well, was. I just quit.
凯瑟琳·毕格罗找我出演她下一部电影的主角
Kathryn Bigelow offered me the lead in her next movie,
肯定会很轰动的
which is huge...
-上映后 -毕竟到现在也只有
- Get out. - since there are, like, what,
三个女性动作主角
three total action roles for women?
肯定远远不止三个 但还是祝贺你
Well, it's a lot more than that, but congrats.
你是想让我列举一下吗
Are you-- I mean, want me to name 'em?
那咱们就来数数
Let me go down the list.
女性主角有神奇女侠 对吗 还有黑寡妇
You got Wonder Woman, right? You have the Black Widow.
你们还有... 那个叫什么来着
You got... What's the one, with the woman?
就是那个...
With the...
她是...
She's...
就那个谁 这就三个了
The-- What's... That's three.
无论如何 都得来这个动作学校走一遭
Anyway, it's all riding on this action school.
我得向罗恩证明我有能力
Just got to prove to Ron that I've got the chops,
我很健康
that I'm fit enough.
你不必向任何人证明这一点 你确实很健康
You ain't got to prove that to nobody. You are fit.
当你走进来的时候 我都忍♥不住感叹"天哪"
When you walked in that door, I said, "Goddamn."
不是那种变♥态♥语气
Not like that.
我用的不是那种语气
I'm not saying it like that.
我没那种意思
I don't mean it that way.
我来只是为了训练
I'm just here to train,
-不是为了交朋友 -嗯
- not make friends. - Yeah.
所以 我先说清楚
So, just to be clear.
咱们都是为同一个目的而来 不是吗 去他的友谊
We're-we're here for the same thing, right? Fuck friendship.
-很好 -嗯
- Good. - Yeah.
介意我用一下洗手间吗
Mind if I use the bathroom?
你随意 洗手间就在那边
Do what you got to do. Bathroom right there.
是啊 但我得请你...
Yeah. I'm gonna need you to just...
你要上大号♥是吧
You got to shit.
在这堂课中
Now, in this lesson,
我们将专注探索动作明星的动机
we're going to focus and explore the action star's motivations.
金探员 你的动机是什么
Agent King. What is your motivation?
在完成巴黎的卧底工作后
After working undercover in Paris,
我去了卢浮宫的地下室
I go down to the basement of the Louvre,
我在那里阻止了一件古埃及文物被盗窃
where I thwart the theft of an ancient Egyptian artifact,
这时我被一个流氓探员搭讪
when I'm accosted by a rogue agent.
很好 哈特探员你呢
Good. Agent Hart?
"搭讪" 这个词有点过了吧
"Accost"? That's a little strong, isn't it?
你不要画错重点好吗
What the fuck?
专注 专注
Focus. Focus.
然后...
And...?
嗯 好的 我是个探员
Okay, all right. I'm-I'm an agent.
-是的 -我是个探员 然后
- Yes. - I'm an agent, and,
基本上我的任务就是拿下金探员 我得用美男计
basically, I got to, I got to go get Agent King-- I got to seduce,
我得在卢浮宫的地下室色♥诱♥金探员
I got to seduce Agent King in the basement of the Louvre.
还有 我得问一句
And wh-- Just a question,
我们这是在演007的同人文吗
is this, like, some James Bond fan fiction or something?
-搞什么... -开始
- What...? - And action.
金探员
Agent King?
来者何人
Who wants to know?
在下哈特探员
Agent Hart.
别急着走嘛
Not so fast.
你现在正身处危险之中
Look, you're in great danger.
摆脱危机的唯一办法 就是跟我去我房♥间
And the only cure for it is to come with me to my bedroom.
你得色♥诱♥她啊 没用的东西
Seduce her, goddamn it!
色♥诱♥她
Seduce her!