鬼作秀

Uh, Grace and I snuck out and rolled this girl
格雷丝跟我偷偷溜出去
at Ainsley's house because
糟蹋了安斯利家
she is the worst, the absolute most evil person on the planet.
因为她超讨厌 绝对是地球上最讨厌的人
You don't know her. She goes to a private school.
你不认识她 她上的私立学校
And your brother is trying to kill... He is!
你哥要杀... 他是要杀我
So, anyway, Grace and I had a sleepover,
所以 格雷丝跟我在外过了一夜
rolled Ainsley's yard, and then farted on
糟蹋了安斯利家的院子
the hood of her dad's car.
还在她爸车引擎盖上放了个屁
What? She's awful!
干嘛 她就是个烂人
Anyway, we got back to Grace's house,
我们回到格雷丝家
and in the middle of the night,
然后大半夜的
I woke up and she was kissing me,
我醒来发现她在亲我
and I shoved her off and I was, like, I mean, "Grace",
我推开她说 "格雷丝"
"I'm flattered, and I kind of liked it,
"我受宠若惊 甚至有点喜欢
but I'm saving myself for Jacob Elordi."
但我要为雅各布·艾洛蒂保留处♥女♥之身"
You know the guy from "The Kissing Booth"?
就是电视剧"亲吻亭"里的那个帅哥
So you were sexually assaulted by your friend at a sleepover?
所以你在朋友家过夜的时候被朋友性侵了
No, gosh, no, not, not assaulted.
不 天呐 没有 没有被性侵
It was just a misunderstanding.
只是一场误会而已
Stand down, Miss P!
别想多了 波小姐
Anyway, I got home the next morning
总之 第二天我回到家
and was a total zombie because we were up so late
累得跟僵尸一样因为我们熬得很晚
and I slept the whole day.
所以我睡了一整天
And your brother? And my brother, yes.
你哥呢 我哥 没错
I know, I'm getting into it, but, hello, backstory.
我知道 听我慢慢讲嘛 背景故事也很重要的
I caught him peeking in my room, creeper.
我发现他在往我卧室里偷看 神经兮兮的
And then on Monday, he wouldn't give me a ride,
然后周一他拒绝载我上学
so I had to take the bus.
所以我不得不搭了巴士
The bus.
巴士 这合理吗
I don't see how being forced to take the bus
我想不出被迫搭巴士
is the same as an attempted homicide,
跟杀人未遂有什么联♥系♥
but you really need to get to class, so...
但你真的得去上课了 所以...
Let me finish!
听我说完
I made it through my morning classes, sat with Grace at lunch,
我上完了上午的课 跟格雷丝一起吃了午饭
and, oh, I did not feel great.
感觉很不舒服
Like, a little pukey.
有点想吐
Am I pregnant?
我该不会是怀孕了吧
I kinda started worrying that I was pregnant.
我开始有点担心自己怀孕了
Can you become pregnant from giving someone a handie,
帮别人打飞机会怀孕吗
because that's, like, as far as I've gone,
因为我们最多只做到那一步
but I was just wondering if, like, you know,
但我只是想知道
sperm were to go, like, airborne,
精♥子♥有没有可能 空气传播
and then land on me and crawl down my body
然后落到我身上 又一路爬到我下面
and up my vajayjay... Lola.
爬进我的小妹妹... 劳拉
Yeah, yeah.
我知道
No, probably not, I didn't think so.
应该不会的 我觉得不会的
Anyway, I stayed after school
因为返校节委员会的缘故
because of Homecoming Committee,
我放学后留了下来
and our float's gonna be so epic, by the way,
话说 我们的花车会很壮观
and when I got home, my brother was making dinner.
我回到家的时候 我哥正在做晚饭
So?
所以呢
He never cooks.
他从不做饭的
My dad cooks, or my mom picks up something
饭都是我爸做 或者我妈
on the way home from work.
下班回家路上打包点吃的
So that's good.
那是好事啊
You mean he made spaghetti.
他做的是意面
It's not that hard.
不难的
I mean, way to suck up to Mom and Dad, Andrew.
安德鲁可真会讨好爸妈的
Also, he made it super-gross.
而且 他做得超恶心
Like, I think the cheese had gone bad because
我觉得他用了变质的奶酪
it made my throat close up and I totally barfed.
因为它把我喉咙给堵上了 我全吐了出来
Oh, shit. I am pregnant.
操 我确实怀孕了
That's what that means, doesn't it?
就是这个原因吧
Not if you haven't had sex.
你没做过爱的话就不是
You haven't had sex yet, have you, Lola?
你还没做过爱吧 劳拉
No, no, but that hand thing.
没 但打过飞机
That was super gross.
那超恶心
It was like a horror movie. His penis exploded every...
跟恐怖片一样 他的老二喷涌...
Why do you think your brother's trying to kill you?
你为什么觉得你哥要杀你
You're mad. I'm not mad.
你生气了 我没生气
'Cause you shouted.
因为你吼我了
Please continue about your brother.
请继续讲你哥的事
Well, he stared at me while I ate his moldy cheese,
我吃着他做的发霉奶酪的时候他盯着我看
and he just kept staring at me, like without blinking.
就这么盯着我看 眨都不眨一下
And his eyes were, like, lasers.
他的眼睛就跟激光一样
Like, they went right through me, zing!
刷的一下射穿了我
And Dolores Claiborne was scared of him.
连多洛雷斯·克莱伯恩都很怕他
And Dolores Claiborne is?
多洛雷斯·克莱伯恩又是哪位
Our wiener dog.
我们家的腊肠狗
She usually loves Andrew, but she went into the kitchen,
它平时很喜欢安德鲁的 但当时它跑去厨房♥
and she started getting all growly.
开始叫个不停
She backed out with her tail between her legs.
夹着尾巴一直往后退
That's weird, right?
很奇怪 不是吗
And then I caught him online researching weapons.
然后我发现他在网上搜索武器
Maybe I'm lactose intolerant. Weapons?
也许我乳糖不耐 武器
We take that very seriously.
这种事我们很重视的
As you know, we had an active shooter drill yesterday.
你也知道 我们昨天刚进行了枪击逃生演练
Do you parents keep weapons in the house?
你♥爸♥妈会把武器放在家里吗
Do you think he's planning something?
你觉得他打算干什么坏事吗
I mean, definitely.
绝对的
I think he's trying to kill me, so.
我觉得他要杀我 所以
Do you think he's planning on bringing weapons to school?
你觉得他打算带武器到学校来吗
Only if he plans on killing me here.
除非他想在这杀我
What kind of weapons was he researching?
他在搜哪种武器
Uh, old-fashioned ones.
老兵器
Guns?
枪吗
Not guns, no.
不是枪
Others, like swords and axes.
其他的 像剑和斧子
Like, he was into King Arthur cosplay or something.
好像他很迷亚瑟王的角色扮演之类的一样
Nerd.
书呆子一个
Okay, so maybe he was
好吧 也许他是在
researching for a school assignment.
做学校作业相关的研究
That's what I thought,
我一开始也是这么想的
but then he tied me up in the basement.
但然后他把我绑在地下室
What?
什么
He tied you up?
他绑起来了你
Why didn't you start with that?
你干嘛不从这里开始讲
You have no appreciation for storytelling, Miss Porter.
你根本不懂得欣赏叙事的魅力 波特小姐
Did you parents intervene? How did you get away?
你父母介入了吗 你怎么逃脱的
They weren't home, so when he left,
他们不在家 所以他走了之后
I ripped through the ties and I ran to Grace's house,
我挣脱了束缚 逃去了格雷丝家
spent the night, and now I'm here, telling you all this.
过了一夜 现在我在这 把这一切讲给你听
You ripped through the ties?
你挣脱了束缚
What did he tie you up with?
他用什么绑起来你的
I don't know,
我也不知道
it was this kind of plastic cord thing?
类似塑料绳的东西
And you ripped through it with your bare hands?
你就这么徒手挣脱了
It wasn't that strong.
绑得不是很紧
Oh, well, I'm glad you're okay.
我很高兴你没事
You're safe.
你安全了
Thank you.
谢谢
Thanks for believing in me.
谢谢你相信我
Hashtag, relief!
话题"松了口气"
Yeah, right, you've been through a lot.
是啊 你经历了不少嘛
Yeah.
是啊
So where are the marks? Excuse, what?
所以痕迹呢 不好意思 你说啥
On your wrists?
你手腕上啊
You say that you were tied up by your brother
你说你被你哥绑起来了
and struggled to get free, and yet you look fine.
艰难挣脱 但你看起来跟没事人一样
You don't believe me.
你不相信我