就这样…（2021）

I'm gonna... step my pussy up?
-这是疑问句吗 -不是
- Hmm, was that a question? - No.
我一定会提升逼格
I'm gonna step my pussy up.
对了
Yes!
在下午自♥慰♥就像一场午后电影 买♥♥单场票还是长♥期♥会员
你会自♥慰♥吗
Do you masturbate?
这感觉是道陷阱题
I feel like that's a trick question.
-回答我 -参议员女士 在律师没来前
- Do you? - Uh, Senator, I'm gonna wait for my counsel
我拒绝回答这个问题
before I respond to that.
为写新书做调查吗
Is this for your new book?
上播客需要
For the podcast.
我得提升逼格
I have to step my pussy up.
虽然我不知道我们在讨论什么
Well, I don't know what we're talkin' about,
但听起来引人入胜
but I like the sound of it.
那你会自♥慰♥吗
Well, do you?
-你吗 -当然
-Do you? -Yes.
那下次记得给我提个醒
Well, next time give me a heads up.
这种好戏我可不能错过
I'd like to attend that event.
你有我的领英账号♥吧
You have my LinkedIn address, right?
自♥慰♥给我看
Masturbate for me.
我想看
I wanna see you.
-你到底想干什么 -给自己惊喜
- Okay, what are you doing? - I'm surprising myself.
你倒是把我也惊讶到了
Well, you're surprising the hell outta me, too.
你会加入我吗
Are you gonna join me?
不 我只打算观赏
Mm-mm, I just wanna watch.
需不需要摘眼镜
With or without my glasses?
你在干什么
What're you doing?
抹点润滑油 岁月不饶人啊
Getting some lube. I'm not 30.
我还以为你在找硝甘
I thought you were reaching for your emergency
紧急救场呢
nitroglycerin pill.
你还想不想看我自♥慰♥
You want me to masturbate or not?
过来
Come here.
就按你平时那样做 当我不在场
Just do what you usually do. Pretend I'm not here.
凯莉
Oh, Carrie!
天呐 凯莉
Oh my, Carrie!
我必须要得到你
I must have you!
都是《布里奇顿》里的经典台词
That's some "Bridgerton" shit there.
看看你
Look at you.
你好啊 爱人们
Hello, lovers.
每周抽一次的雪茄
Oh... the weekly cigar,
和阿莱格拉都安排在同一晚
and Allegra on the same night?
我孤注一掷了 宝贝
I'm all in, baby.
注意到有什么特别之处吗
Do you notice anything special?
没
Nope.
我看到婚鞋了 怎么可能注意不到
I see the wedding shoes. How could I not?
这双蓝色高跟鞋可是点睛之笔
Those blue shoes are the whole ball game.
我在想 要是我回来得早
Hey, I was thinking, if I get home early enough,
也许我们今晚就能出发
maybe we can drive out east tonight.
你觉得怎么样
Would you be up for that?
那得看我陪完阿莱格拉后还剩多少精力
Depends how spent I am after Allegra.
好吧
All right, well...
决定好了给我发消息
just text me and let me know
我就不跟她们去酒吧续摊了
and I won't go out for a drink after.
那我先走了
Okay... I'll see you later.
怎么了
What?
我就想好好看看你
I'm just looking at you.
好了 告诉阿莱格拉那个贱♥人♥我走了
All right, tell that whore Allegra I said bye.
拜托你把这条裙子穿上吧
Please put this dress on.
我希望我们都穿花裙子
I want us all in florals.
我只穿我自己想穿的
I wanna wear what I wanna wear.
这裙子哪有问题 都不是蓬蓬裙
What is the problem? It isn't even poofy.
萝丝 我们要迟到了
Rose, we're gonna be late!
-今晚莉莉是主角 -别把我牵扯进来
- And it's Lily's big night. - Leave me out of this.
怎么这么慢 发生什么了
What's the holdup? What's happenin'?
萝丝不肯穿上她的裙子
What's happening is that Rose won't wear her dress.
我自己选好了别的衣服穿
I picked something else to wear!
她就不能穿她自己挑的衣服吗
Can't she just wear what she wants to wear?
不行 哈利
No, Harry, no.
我专为今晚的表演
I bought this Oscar de la Renta
-买♥♥了这件奥斯卡·德拉伦塔 -好吧
- special for tonight. - Okay, okay.
那换我来穿行不行
How about if I wear it?
萝丝 亲爱的
Rose, baby...
把裙子穿上好吗
can you just wear the dress?
求你了
Please?
就为了我 穿上吧
Please. For me?
-我喜欢你这身打扮 -很好看 不是吗
- Hey, you. I like your outfit. - It's really cute, right?
抱歉我们来晚了
Hi, hi, hi! Sorry we're a little late!
她那身衣服怎么回事
What the hell is with that getup?
看起来就像是《灰色花♥园♥》里的伊迪·比尔
She looks like a little Edie Beale.
安东尼 现在不是说这个的时候
Anthony, not now.
别在曼哈顿音乐学院门口说 好吗
Not in front of the Manhattan School of Music, okay?
你们的票都在我这里
Hey, I have everybody's tickets!
史蒂夫 好久不见
Steve-o, long time, no see.
-有什么新鲜事 -我戴了助听器
- What's new? - Hey, I got hearing aids.
-正式成为老年人了 -你才不老
- I'm an old timer now. - No, you're not.
就一只耳朵下降了六成听力
You only have 60% hearing loss in one ear,
另一只的损失只有四成
and 40% in the other.
对 因为我老了
Yeah, 'cause I'm old.
亲爱的 我们该把莉莉送到后台了
Honey, I think we should get Lily backstage,
-对吧 -没错
- don't you? -Yes, I agree.
莉莉 给你们的票
Lily! Here, tickets.
-布雷迪 你们的票 -谢了 妈
- Brady, here are your tickets. - Thanks, Mom.
-祝你好运 你紧张吗 -还好
- Good luck! Are you nervous? - Not really.
这曲子我已经弹过无数次了
I've played this piece like a billion times.
老天 我好羡慕你
Oh my god, I wanna be you.
-快去吧 -大家一会儿见
- Go! - I'll see you all inside!
-祝演出成功 -安东尼
- Have a good show! - Oh, Anthony,
我把斯坦福的票给凯莉了
I gave Stanford's ticket to Carrie.
-好 -在我这儿
- Okay. - I got it.
-你老公哪去了 -他迟到了
- So, where's your better half? - He's late.
-他没法决定该穿什么 -不出所料
- He couldn't decide what to wear. - Of course.
他来了 你好啊帅哥
Well, there he is! Hey, good lookin'!
-还好吗 -你居然走了
- Whatcha got cookin'? - You left?!
-丢下我自己走了 -你就忽略我吧
- You just left?! - Oh, we're not in the same place.
跟你说了 我可不会等你
I told you I wasn't waiting.
谁会那样说走就走啊
What kind of person just leaves?
史蒂夫 你会直接丢下米兰达不管吗
Steve, would you ever just leave Miranda?
什么 他刚刚说什么了
What? What he say?
你挑一身衣服就花了一个半小时
You were picking out a suit for an hour and a half.
花色还是棕色 花色还是棕色
Periwinkle or tan? Periwinkle or tan?
你穿什么其实都无所谓
It didn't friggin' matter!
我要进去了 凯莉有你的票
I'm goin' in. Carrie has your ticket.
-我有 -我跟你亲亲打招呼了吗
- I do. - Did I kiss you hello yet?
刚才闹的哪一出
Mm-mm. What was all that?
-今晚算和睦的了 -天呐
- Us on a good night. - Oh, Lord.
所有人都觉得我是那种种族歧视的白人女
Everyone was looking at me like I was the white lady
张口闭口不离"黑人"两字
who couldn't stop saying the word "Black."
他们没把我拍下来
It's a miracle nobody pulled out their phone,
做成表情包就是万幸了
or I would be a meme now.
你觉得你当时是怎么了
What do you think was goin' on with you?
我觉得我是太害怕
I think I was just so worried
说出不合时宜的错话
about saying the wrong thing in this climate
结果适得其反了
that I said all the wrong things.
我相信也没你说的这么糟
I'm sure you didn't say all the wrong things.
没错 说不定明天我还能说出更多错话
You're right. I'll probably blurt out some new ones tomorrow.
天呐 这队人动过吗 我快憋不住了
God, is this even moving? I really have to go.
男洗手间就没人排队 老样子
Well, there's no line for the men's room, as usual.
不管了 我都55岁了 我要去撒尿
Fuck it. I'm 55, and I have to pee.
女士们先生们 演出即将开始
Ladies and gentlemen, the show is about to begin.
请大家尽快坐好
Please find your way to your seats.
说来好笑 你是管不住你的嘴
It's funny, you couldn't stop talking,