凶手或许就是你

我的上帝啊
Oh my god!
我的天呐
Oh my god!
不
No!
凶手或许就是你
辅♥导♥员死亡人数(截至现在)
非常多
该死的
Shit.
快点儿 快点儿 赶紧的
Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on.
快呀
Come on.
妈的
Oh, shit.
该死
Shit.
快点儿
Come on.
好了
Ok.
什么鬼
What the?
请重试
快点儿
Come on.
无法识别面部 请重试
谢天谢地
Oh, thank god.
呼叫:
恰克
好的
Ok.
恰克
Chuck.
土星环便利店
我靠
Oh, shit.
土星环便利店
Rings of Saturn.
恰克
Chuck!
山姆
Sam?
搞什么鬼
What the hell?
电♥话♥响了快两个小时了
The phone has been ringing for like two hours.
我在上班呐
And I'm working.
接电♥话♥也是上班啊
Yeah, answering the phone is working.
冷静点 "我要断网一阵子"先生
Chill out, Mr. I'm Going Off the Grid for a While.
怎么 就坚持了两天
What, you lasted like two days?
杯子上的文字为电影《惊魂记》经典台词 我们有时候都会变得有些疯狂
事情和之前计划的有点儿不一样
Yeah, well, things haven't worked out quite as I planned.
你就负责管理一个夏令营
Being responsible for an entire summer camp,
能出什么问题
what could possibly go wrong?
你不明白
Oh, you have no idea.
不 我觉得你应该会明白
No, actually, you might have the exact idea,
所以我才给你打电♥话♥的
which is why I'm calling you,
刚开始的时候一切都特美好
'cause everything started out so great,
但是现在有一个杀人狂
and now there's this crazed killer
在营地里四处游荡
roaming the campground.
等一下 真的吗
Wait, really?
是的 恰克 真的
Yes, Chuck, really.
全都死了 差不多全死了
Everyone is dead, or almost everyone.
我靠
Damn.
营地辅♥导♥员十有八♥九♥会出这种事儿
I mean, that sometimes happens, especially the camp counselors.
但是我从没想过
But I just never thought--
我知道 我知道
I know, I know.
太可怕了
It's terrible.
真的太吓人了 我现在特害怕
It really is terrible, and I'm really scared.
所以我就觉得你能不能
So I thought maybe you can help me out,
给我点儿建议 以防我挂掉
give me some king of advice so I'm not, you know, dying.
好吧
Oh, ok.
首先 你手♥机♥好像没什么问题
Uh, yeah, well, first of all, your phone seems to be working fine.
你怎么不报♥警♥呢
Wouldn't you rather call the cops?
我报了 我给警长打了个电♥话♥
I did. I called the sheriff.
还留了个语♥音♥留言
I left a voicemail.
等等 一个语♥音♥留言
Wait, a voicemail?
是啊 一个语♥音♥留言
Yeah, a voicemail.
他都76岁了
I mean, he's 76.
早就不上夜班了
He doesn't really work nights anymore,
再说 他离镇子有40多公里远
and-- and given that and the town being 25 miles away,
我觉得 我死透了都不会有人来
I mean, I don't think anyone's getting here before I'm dead.
你离住人的地方有多远
How far off the grid did you go?
特远
Far.
40多公里
25 miles.
明白了
Ah, gotcha.
好吧 首先 我得问问现在有多少了
All right, well-- well, first, I got to ask how many so far.
啥 什么多少了
Uh, what-- what do you mean?
尸体个数
Like, body count.
死了几个了
How many dead?
我不知道
Oh, uh, I don't know.
我不知道
I don't know, you know.
我有点儿慌
I'm a little flustered.
没顾得上数数
Counting's not, like, my thing right now.
事情的开端是什么样子的
How did this even start?
我不清楚
I'm not sure.
我只记得 我们刚到这儿的时候
All I remember is that everything started out so
一切都特美好
great when we first got here.
辅♥导♥员死亡人数
从非常多到
亲景夏令营
禁止携带手♥机♥ 禁止穿私服
No phones, no shirt.
向前一步
Step right up.
卡罗尔
今年是我亲自设计的标志
And I designed the logo myself this year.
我觉得挺酷的
I think they're pretty cool. Hm?
你觉得怎么样 卡罗尔 不错吧
What do you think, Carol? Yeah?
-行吧 -还行吧
- Ok. Yeah? -Yeah.
没事儿
It's all right.
你好啊 泰德
Hey, Ted.
泰德
谢谢你今年选择亲景
Hey, thank you for choosing Clear Vista this year.
我知道有很多营地想招你
I know you had a lot of offers.
史蒂文
Steve!
史蒂文
皮划艇之王
皮划艇之王
The Kayak King.
哥们儿 最近怎么样
How you doing, man?
很高兴你回来了
So glad to have you back.
我的荣幸
My pleasure, my pleasure.
很高兴能回来
Good to be back.
给你
Here you go.
有一件事儿 没啥大不了的
One thing, and it's not a big deal, It's not a big deal.
但是 其实它们叫独木舟 所以
But, um, they're canoes, so--
算了也没啥
don't even worry about it.
没事儿
It's fine.
没错 无关紧要
Yeah, not a big deal.
你好吗 山姆
What's up, Sam?
你好啊
hey.
德鲁
德鲁 对吗
Drew, right?
是的
yeah.
我给你找一件 给你
Find you one. There you are.
我已经准备好远离文明社会
I'm totally ready to just unplug from the world
好好感受这里的一切了
and catch a vibe with this place.
爱丽丝和希瑟
要啤酒吗
beer?
这里真宁静
It's really peaceful here.
超级宁静
Super peaceful.
说的真妙
That's the spirit.
你们听到了吗
You guys hear that?
伊玛尼
等等 慢着
Wait, wait, wait.
伊玛尼来了
Imani's there?
我不能因为她甩了我就不雇她
Well, I mean, I couldn't not hire her because she dumped me.
那是歧视
That's discrimination.
我的天啊
Oh, god.
你好啊 伊玛尼
Hi, Imani.
我不想当一个爱发牢骚的小婊♥子♥ 但是
I don't wanna be a whiny bitch, but--
不想当就闭嘴
Oh, might wanna just leave it there then.
弗雷迪
-谢谢 弗雷迪 -给你
- Thank you, Freddie. - Here you go.
谢了
Thanks.
有必要断网吗
Is this unplugging necessary?
人的本性是大自然 来吧
Nature is our nature. Come on.
-这将会是一个有趣 -好吧 随便
- It's going to be a fun awesome-- - OK, whatever.
轻松的周末
--relaxing weekend.