憨豆警局（1995）

Paki cow. Get back to freakin' curryland.
你连舔英国人的靴子都不够。
You ain't fit enough to lick english boots.
-你说什么?-没事的，凯文
- What did you say? - It's all right, Kevin.
我说她是个黑婊♥子♥，她应该回丛林去。
I said she's a black tart and she should go back to the jungle.
我要告诉我妈妈。
I'm telling my mom.
哦,不……
Oh no...
你不该那么做的，凯文。
You shouldn't have done that, Kevin.
但是谢谢。
But thanks.
她是吗?她是吗?
Is she? Is she?
我希望那只是风。
Well I expect that'll just be wind.
当我怀上她的时候，我发现那只是在抚摸她的后背
When I had her I found that just rubbing her back
只要在她的假人上滴一滴卡尔波，她就会倒下。
And the tinniest drop of calpol on her dummy and she'd go down.
是的，我知道我只和她呆了四十五分钟，但是
Well yes I know I only had her for three quarters of an hour, but-
不管怎样，只要确保她不是趴着睡，然后
Well anyway, just make sure she's not sleeping on her tummy, and-
再见。
Goodbye.
-你想知道吗?——没有。
- Do you want to know something? - No.
十年后警队里就不会有女人了
10 years from now there won't be a woman on the force,
你知道为什么吗?女性的自♥由♥。
And do you know why? Women's lib.
哦,是吗?那你是怎么算出来的?
Oh yeah? And how'd you work that out then?
女人有孩子，对吧?但你不能解雇他们
Women have babies, right? But you can't sack 'em,
如果你这么做了，20万赔偿。
'cause if you do - bosh, 200 grand compensation.
我不明白为什么一个女人要丢了工作
I don't see why a woman should lose her job
履行存在的基本功能。
For performing an essential function of existence.
这很好。只不过你这个普通的恶棍不愿意接受采访
That's fine. Except your average villain objects to being interviewed
一个乳♥头♥漏水的警♥察♥。
By a copper with leaky nipples.
第22条军规，不是吗?不能胜任工作，就不能被解雇。
Catch-22, isn't it? Can't do the job, can't be sacked.
答案是——一开始就别惹他们。
Answer - don't take 'em on in the first place.
反正不是所有女人都想要孩子。
Not all women want babies, anyway.
所有的女人都想要孩子。
All women want babies.
他们说他们不喜欢，然后砰的一声，他们30岁了，突然就
They say they don't, then bang, they turn 30 and suddenly it's
"快，在我的油没完之前把面包放进我的烤箱里"
"quick, put a bun in my oven before my gas runs out."
你真是个穴居人。
You are such a neanderthal.
——嗯?-帕特，你都30多岁了
- Eh? - Pat, you're in your 30s,
-你不是很想要个孩子吧?-不，一点也不，不绝望。
- You aren't desperate for a child, are you? - No, not at all, not desperate.
你必须记住婴儿带来的限制。
You have to remember the restrictions babies bring.
失眠的夜晚，到处都是病人，
The sleepless nights, the sick all over everything,
你想要吞下的肥脸。
The fat little cheeks you just want to gobble up.
笑声，微笑。
The laughs, the smiles.
我要么接受，要么放弃。
I can take it or leave it.
哈比卜，你和古迪马上到我办公室来。
Habib, you and Goody in my office, now.
古迪警官，我收到了一个非常严重的投诉。
Constable Goody, I've received a very serious complaint.
你昨晚打了一个戴着手铐的15岁男孩吗
Did you punch a handcuffed 15-year-old boy last night
带他去牢房♥的时候?
While taking him to the cells?
他是在保护我，先生。
He was defending me, sir.
他是在保护你，哈比卜警官?
He was defending you, constable Habib?
哦，我明白了。
Oh I see.
到底是什么威胁造成了这一切
And exactly what threat did this
戴着安全手铐的少年姿势?
Securely handcuffed juvenile pose?
他威胁要让你看一眼的是什么?
What he threatening to wither you with a glance?
他在滥用种族歧视，长官。
He was using racist abuse, sir.
这个男孩的手臂上纹了纳粹十字。
The boy has swastikas tattooed on his arms.
你想让他怎么做?
What did you expect him to do?
给你唱一段"乌木和象牙"
Give you a chorus of "ebony and ivory"?
你这个笨蛋，古迪。你这个该死的傻瓜。
You fool, Goody. You bloody fool.
-假设这孩子脑部受损?——哼!我们怎么知道呢?
- Suppose the lad had sustained brain damage? - Huh! How would we tell?
别跟我开玩笑，小姑娘。
Don't you dare be facetious with me, young woman.
-抱歉，先生-恐怕我们已经谈了很久了抱歉，警官
- I'm sorry, sir. - I'm afraid we're a long way past sorry, constable.
你制♥造♥了一个非常严重的局面。
You have created an appallingly serious situation.
-我要以袭击罪起诉你-先生，你不能!
- I'm going to have to charge you with assault. - Sir, you can't!
-古迪打了那个男孩吗，哈比卜警官?-是的，先生。
- Did Goody hit the boy, constable Habib? - Yes, sir.
古迪或其他人当时有任何人身危险吗?
Was Goody or anyone else in any physical danger at the time?
-不，先生-在这种情况下
- No, sir. - Under the circumstances then,
你认为我的职责是什么?
What do you consider to be my duty?
你应该严厉谴责他，先生。
You - you could issue a severe reprimand, sir.
恐怕我没有这个选择，警官。
I'm afraid I do not have that option, constable.
男孩的母亲正在起诉。
The boy's mother is pressing charges.
古迪警官，你继续履行你的职责，
Constable Goody, you will continue with your duties,
-等待无故袭击的调查。-是的，先生。
- Pending an investigation for unprovoked assault. - Yes, sir.
就这样吧。
That will be all.
这双靴子要了我的命。
These boots are killing me.
你应该用潮湿的报纸把它们塞进去，然后过夜。
You should have stuffed them with damp newspaper, and leave overnight.
啊，好，好。坚持下去，坚持下去。
Ah, good, good. Carry on, carry on.
太不可思议了。
Marvelous.
好了，中士，我们走了。
Well sergeant, we're off.
这比我做过的任何事都要好得多。
It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done.
我们开车去蹲着的地方，找一辆小巴，车上全是坏蛋，
We shall drive to the squat, collect a minibus full of miscreants,
护送他们沿着崎岖不平的小路走到笔直而狭窄的地方。
And escort them along the rocky path to the straight and narrow.
是的，雷蒙德，也许下个周末
Yes, Raymond, and perhaps next weekend
你可以选择阿♥拉♥伯人和以色列人
You could take the Arabs and the Israelis
去切辛顿动物园玩吗?
To Chessington zoo for the day?
天啊，天啊。
Dear, oh dear.
Dib-dib-dib。
Dib-dib-dib.
Dob-dob-dob。
Dob-dob-dob.
可爱的腿，雷蒙德。
Lovely legs, Raymond.
你要小心那些羊
You watch out for those sheep,
他们会咬你的，伙计。
They'll nibble your toggle, mate.
德里克，你确定我不能说服你来吗?
Are you sure I can't persuade you to come, Derek?
我是警♥察♥，不是该死的女向导，雷蒙德。
I'm a policeman, not a bleeding girl guide, Raymond.
另外，我今晚很忙。
Besides, I'm rather busy tonight.
当你想着奖励少年犯的时候，
While you fanny about rewarding young offenders,
我要偷几个。
I shall be nicking a few.
天啊，天啊，天啊。
Dear, oh dear, oh dear.
走，走，走，走，走。
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
走，走，走，走，走，走。
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
好吧，他们已经够久了。克瑞，用木槌打。
Right, they've had long enough. Kray, give it some mallet.
他们现在出去了。你们有些人带他们去露营了。
They're out now. Some of your lot have taken 'em camping.
福勒抓住了我的恶徒。
Fowler has nicked my villains.
我的名字是爆破坑，该死的。
My name's blaster sump, damn you.
现在,
Now-
你对我很坦诚
You play a straight bat with me
你会发现我们相处得很好。
And you'll find we'll rub along pretty well together.
使用弯曲的球棒，摆动的球棒，
Use a bent bat, however, a wobbly bat,
一只球棒，上面有个洞，末端露出一些碎片，
A bat with a hole in it and bits sticking out of the end,
我会用雷霆把你年轻的睾丸压碎在坚硬的花岗岩下
And by thunder I'll crush your young testicles beneath the hard granite
本·克雷基的沉思。
Of the mull of Ben Craggy.
那些没有睾丸的人呢?
And those of the party not equipped with testicles?
-你是指不幸事故的受害者吗?-不，我是说女孩。
- The victims of tragic accidents, you mean? - No, I mean girls.
幸运的是，我从来没有被叫去管教一个女孩。
Fortunately I've never been called upon to discipline a girl.
不，事实上恰恰相反。
No, quite the other way round as a matter of fact.
哦，该死的奶♥子♥!
oh, hell's tits!
是吗?该死的爆能·萨普准将。
Yes? Brigadier Blaster Sump, damn you.
你想要什么?你没看见我很忙吗?
What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?
该死的技术。
Damn technology.
布拉斯特·萨姆普夫人的礼物，愿上帝腐蚀她邪恶的灵魂。
A present from Mrs. Blaster Sump, God rot her vicious soul.
“嘿，主人，”我说，“你想给我买♥♥点有用的东西吗?
"hey, guvnor," I said, "do you want to buy me something useful?
那就给我一根末端有钉子的大棍子
Then get me a big stick with a nail in the end
而且是一个该死的该被痛打一顿的人。”
And somebody who deserves a damn good thrashing."
嗯?嗯?嗯?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
啊…嗯。
Ah... Mmm.
这是你的装备，你会找到你可能需要的一切，
Now here's your gear, you'll find everything you could possibly need,
从厕纸到砂纸。
From lavatory paper to sandpaper.
不要混淆这两者。
Don't confuse the two.
我自己也做过一次。并非完全不愉快的经历，
I did myself once. Not a wholly unpleasant experience,
但后来我去了包租屋。
But then I went to charterhouse.
好吧，我想这就是全部了。
Right, well I think that's everything.
让我们像雪貂爬裤腿一样爬上山，好吗?
Let's get up that mountain like a ferret up a trouser leg, huh?
爆破水坑准将
Brigadier Blaster Sump-
什么事，小姐?
Yes, young lady?
我是训练有素的定向运动员，我的两名军官也是。
I'm a trained orienteer, as are two of my officers.
我们只希望使用你们的设备。
We wish only to use your equipment.
去你的，婊♥子♥!