柯明斯基理论

‪明迪 你得明白
Mindy, you have to understand,
‪对我们这代人来说 ‪身材攻击只是相互之间
in my generation, body-shaming was just a way we would kid around
‪开玩笑而已
with each other.
‪看到个耳朵很大的人 你就会说
You know, you'd see a guy with big ears, and you'd say,
‪“嘿 小飞象 你的毛去哪儿啦？”
"Hey, Dumbo, where's your feather?"
‪从来没人会觉得被冒犯的
And no one ever got offended.
‪只是一种善意的玩笑
It was just considered good-natured joshing.
‪好吧
All righty.
‪而且其实小飞象可能 ‪会很聪明地回一句嘴说
As a matter of fact, Dumbo might have a clever retort like,
‪“小心我飞到你头顶 ‪然后一屁♥股♥坐死你”
"Careful I don't fly overhead and take a big elephant dump on you."
‪好了 你已经说清楚了 ‪-等一下 放轻松 好了
Okay. You… you made your point. -Hang on. Take it easy. All right.
‪我小时候有个朋友 名叫茜茜
When I was growing up, I had a girlfriend named Sissy,
‪她有一只玻璃眼球
and she had a glass eye.
‪所以自然而然的 ‪大家都当面叫她独眼巨人茜茜
So, naturally, everyone called her Sissy Cyclops, to her face.
‪她不介意
She didn't mind.
‪放学后 我会说 ‪“回头见 独眼巨人茜茜”
After school, I would say, "See you around, Sissy Cyclops."
‪她会说 “我会用一只眼盯着你的”
And she would say, "I'll keep an eye out for you."
‪棒极了
Terrific.
‪所以我现在是错在 ‪忘记你们这代人有多敏感了
Now, where I went wrong was to forget how sensitive your generation is.
‪你们没输过足球赛
None of you ever lost a soccer game
‪也没在朝鲜战争中失去兄弟
or a brother in Korea.
‪我不明白了 你这是道歉吗？
I'm confused. Is this supposed to be an apology?
‪没错 是的
Yes. Yes, it… it is.
‪接下来该我说了
Uh, and now it's my turn.
‪明迪 亲爱的 我爱你
Mindy, sweetie, I… I… I love you,
‪我最不想做的事就是伤害你的感情
a… and the last thing in the world I'd want to do is hurt your feelings.
‪我也不会让别人那样伤害你
And I'm not gonna let anybody else hurt them either.
‪我没有…请原谅我昨晚没有出言维护
I don't--Please forgive me… …for not saying something last night.
‪我该说出口的 我不知道…我太傻了
I should have said something. I don't know why--I… I… I'm an idiot.
‪我就是个傻子 我配不上你
I'm an idiot, and… and I don't deserve you.
‪你确实不配
You really don't.
‪我们和好了吗？
So we're good?
‪和好了
We're good.
‪马丁说你时日不多了
Martin said you're on the last train to Clarksville.
‪那太糟了
Tough break.
‪你干嘛这么说？
Why would you say that?
‪不然呢？说你日子快到头儿了？
What? Midnight train to Georgia?
‪不是
No.
‪算了
No. Nothing.
‪（第22章）
‪（剧名：基本法则永不过时）
‪我猜的是对的吗？
Am I correct in assuming
‪明迪她妈之后 ‪会跟你俩住在一起吗？
that Mindy's mother will be living with you for the foreseeable future?
‪是的
Yes.
‪那你就是一对二了
Oh, you'll be outnumbered.
‪我不这么想 ‪-真的吗？不会数数了吗？
Uh, I… I don't see it that way. -Really? You forget how to count?
‪好吧 你就…
Okay, just…
‪我要弄死她 我发誓我会弄死他
I'm gonna kill her. I swear to God, I'm gonna kill her.
‪现在不行 妈妈
Not now, Mom.
‪反正我也活不久了 ‪他们能把我怎样呢？来个电椅死刑？
Well, I don't have long to live. What are they gonna do? Give me the chair?
‪我觉得加利福尼亚应该是注射死刑
I think, in California, it's lethal injection.
‪我的老天 别说了 你俩都是
Oh my God. Stop it, both of you.
‪下午好 欢迎各位
Good afternoon and welcome.
‪感谢大家与我们一起欢庆
Thank you for joining us as we celebrate the union
‪明迪克拉丽斯柯明斯基 ‪和马丁莱斯特施耐德的婚礼
of Mindy Clarice Kominsky and Martin Lester Schneider.
‪我是罗兹沃兰德医生
I am Dr. Roz Volander,
‪作为明迪的妈妈 我非常荣幸
and it is my great privilege, both as Mindy's mom
‪同时还作为牧师 ‪经国际神学院线上认证的那种
and as an ordained minister of the Church of Universal Life,
‪来主持这场仪式
to perform this ceremony.
‪牧师 牧个鬼的师
Minister, schminister.
‪此外 我想欢迎马丁的妈妈艾丝黛尔
Oh, I'd also like to welcome Martin's mom, Estelle.
‪艾丝黛尔从亚利桑那州 ‪斯科茨代尔远道而来
Estelle has come all the way from Scottsdale, Arizona.
‪艾丝黛尔 ‪从今天起我们就是一家人了
Estelle, from this day forth, our families are forever joined,
‪孩子们的爱 也让我们紧密相连
bound together by the love of our children.
‪我的女儿有如朝晖
My daughter, in the prime of her life,
‪你的儿子仿若暮色
and your son, in his twilight years.
‪明迪 马丁 你们即将许下的誓言
Uh, Mindy, Martin, the vows you are about to take
‪无比神圣
are sacred vows.
‪不容片刻迟疑
They have to be entered into without doubt or hesitation.
‪必须出自
They have to be the expression
‪你们彼此之间的
of your deepest, your most heartfelt
‪最深的最真心的爱
feelings of love for one another.
‪你们准备好了吗？
Are you prepared to do that?
‪是的
Yes.
‪仿若暮色？
Twilight years?
‪是的
Yes.
‪马丁 你开始吧？ ‪-好的
Martin, why don't you start? -All righty.
‪我得写下来
I had to… write it down.
‪明迪 从我见到你的第一眼开始
Mindy, ever since we first met,
‪我就知道 ‪你就是我此生想要找到的那个人
I knew you were the one I had been searching for all my life.
‪我还记得 我们相邻而站
I remember we were at a bookstore standing next to each other
‪就在书店的青年区
in the… the young adult section.
‪这个故事下次再说
That's… that's another story for another time.
‪当我发现你在我看时 我有点慌了
Uh, when I noticed you were staring at me, I got a little flustered,
‪我问你一切是否都好
and I asked if everything was okay.
‪你说 我看起来像糖果罐子先生
And you said I looked like a Pez dispenser,
‪如果你揪我的马尾辫
and if you pulled on my ponytail,
‪我嘴里就会蹦出一块糖
a little piece of candy would pop out my mouth.
‪当然了 我笑出来了
Needless to say, I… I laughed.
‪那时我才发现 我很久没笑了
And that's when I realized it had been so long since I laughed.
‪我就知道了 当时就知道了
And I knew. I knew right then.
‪明迪…
Mindy,
‪你是我此生最重要的女人
you are the most important woman in my life.
‪你是我此生最重要的女人
You're the most important woman in my life,
‪我想此生与你相伴
and I want to share my life with you.
‪我发誓愿做你的朋友 ‪你的爱人和你的骑士
And… and I vow to… to be your friend and… and lover and… and protector
‪在我有限的全部的生命之中
for as long as God gives me life.
‪我爱你
I love you.
‪我也爱你
I love you too.
‪咱能弄个家庭影院吗？ ‪-不能
Can we build a home theater? -No.
‪好吧
Okay.
‪明迪 该你了
Mindy, your turn.
‪马丁 遇到你之前
Martin… …before I met you,
‪我从未想过自己会和谁安定下来
I never thought I'd settle down with anyone.
‪其实我已经习惯那样了
In fact, I'd gotten used to the idea.
‪直到我看到了翻阅着《饥饿游戏》的 ‪糖果罐子先生
And then I saw a Pez dispenser thumbing through a Hunger Games book.
‪是《鸣鸟与游蛇之歌♥》
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.
‪对的 好吧 ‪-其实是三部曲的前传
Right. -It's actually the prequel to the trilogy.
‪我本来打算写我自己的YA小说 ‪我那时在做调查
Okay. I was planning to write a YA novel of my own. I was doing some research.
‪马丁
Martin.
‪我不想让他们觉得我是个怪人
I didn't want them to think I was some kinda weirdo.
‪他们不会的
They don't think that.
‪YA的意思是“年轻人”
YA is "young adult."
‪跟普通的小说没什么区别
Uh, it… it's the same as regular novels,
‪除了不需要总是谷歌♥哪个词什么意思
only you're not having to constantly Google what words mean.
‪马丁
Martin…
‪该我了 ‪-抱歉 请继续
my turn. Sorry. Continue, please.
‪我讲了个很烂的玩笑 他却笑了
And when I made a lame joke about it and he laughed,
‪我突然就被他的开朗打动了
I was suddenly struck by how big a heart he had.
‪我也知道 他没有勇气约我出去
I also knew he didn't have the courage to ask me out.
‪不是的
I did not.
‪所以我约他出去了 ‪-没错
So I asked him. -She did.
‪现在我们走到了这里
And here we are.
‪我爱你 马丁莱斯特施耐德
I love you, Martin Lester Schneider.
‪我发誓 我愿永远关心你 ‪为你而战 与你一同欢笑
And I vow to always care for you, fight for you, and laugh with you.
‪真好 戒指由谁负责？
That's great. Now, who has the rings?
‪好了 马丁 跟着我说
Yes, all right. Martin, repeat after me.
‪我愿以这枚戒指…
With this ring…
‪我愿以这枚戒指…
With this ring…
‪向你起誓
I do thee wed.
‪向你起誓