换挡（2025）

马特不在。正好，省得他抱怨咱们迟到。
Matt's not here. Good,
he can't complain that we're late.
"我是马特·帕克。
"I'm Matt Parker.
守时是我最看重的一项素质。"
Punctuality is one of my turn-ons."
"如果你早到，你就是准时。
"If you're early,you're on time.
如果你准时，你就是迟到。如果你迟到..."
If you're on time, you're late.
And if you're late..."
你就会因为两次坏印象被解雇。
You're gonna get fired
for two bad impressions.
他起来了。
He has risen.
椅子是个好玩的东西，等你们真离不开的时候就知道了，
Yeah, chairs is all fun
and games till you need 'em.
嘿，伙计们，我们需要一把螺丝刀。
Hey, guys,
we need a screwdriver.
我也是，姑娘。但记住我们说过的话。
Me too, girl.
But remember what we said.
午餐前不能喝伏特加。
No vodka before lunch.
不，是那种右紧右松的工具。
No, the righty-tighty tool kind.
我在工作时不能左松左紧。
I can't be lefty-loosey at work.
你们认识艾米丽，对吧？
You guys know Amelie, right?
是啊，当然。
Yeah, sure.
就是那家伙向我要了三次电♥话♥号♥码。
That's the guy who asked
for my number three times.
这个策略就是要广撒网，宝贝。
It's a volume business, baby.
哇，哇，哇。你疯了吗？
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you insane?
你不能把你♥爸♥爸的工具从他店里拿走。
You can't take one of your
dad's tools out of his shop.
"哦，我叫盖比。我遵守马特的所有规矩。"
"Ooh, my name's Gabe.
I follow all of Matt's rules."
伊芙明天回来，从她和亚瑟小子的巡演上，
Eve gets back tomorrow
from her tour with Usher,
我得换一面在舞蹈工作室打破的镜子。
and I have to replace a mirror
that broke in the dance studio.
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
我不能让你拿走那个工具，哥们。
I can't let you
take that tool, man.
这是为了你自己的安全。
It's for your own safety.
哦，是啊。你可能是他女儿，
Oh, yeah.
You may be his daughter,
但那些工具是他的宝贝。
but them tools are his babies.
好吧，我是个舞蹈老师，这——
Okay, I'm a dance teacher,
and this is--
这真伤了我的眼睛。
this is hurting my eyes.
好吧，天哪！呃！
Fine, God! Ugh!
我去问我爸爸，你们这些宝宝。
I'll ask my dad, you babies.
莱利，等你有空的时候，
Riley, when you get a second,
有，呃，有点事我想和你谈谈。
there's, uh, something
I wanna talk to you about.
哦，是吗？啥事？
Oh, yeah?
What?
额，不在这儿。那个，有点私密。
Yeah, not here.
You know, it's kinda private.
私密？我有麻烦了吗？
Private?
Am I in trouble?
希望我不会被打屁♥股♥。
Hope I'm not gonna get spanked.
好了，莱利，你和盖比之间怎么回事？
Alright, Riley, what's going on
with you and Gabe?
你整个夏天在他身边都表现得怪怪的。
You've been acting weird
around him all summer.
啊？你在说什么？
What? What are you talking about?
得了吧，哥们，我们去唱卡拉OK时，
Come on, man,
when we went to go do karaoke,
你甚至不敢和盖比唱《夏日恋人》。
you couldn't even sing
"Summer Lovin'" with Gabe.
我不得不当桑迪。
I had to be Sandy.
好吧，我说。还记得那次我在我的离婚派对上
Okay, fine.
Remember when I got drunk
喝醉了，然后盖比带我回家吗？
at my divorce party
and Gabe took me home?
额，我当时晕倒在沙发上。
Well, I passed out on the couch.
哦，我不喜欢这话题的走向。
Oh, I don't like
where this is going.
继续。
Continue.
盖比说他对我有感觉。
Gabe said he had feelings for me.
你怎么知道的，你那时不晕过去了吗？
How do you know
when you was passed out?
我假装睡着了。
I faked sleeping.
我是个女人。我可以假装很多事情。
I'm a woman.
I fake lots of things.
我现在没法处理这事。我刚离婚。
I can't dealwith this right now.
I just got a divorce.
我不想现在考虑谈恋爱的事。
I can't think about a relationship.
但我不想伤害他的感情。他是我最好的朋友。
But I don't wannahurt his feelings.
He's my best friend.
如果他是你最好的朋友，那你需要更多朋友。
If he's your best friend,
you need more friends.
-嘿，爸爸。
-嘿。
-Hey, Dad.
-Hey.
只是进来打个招呼，我爱你，
Just came in to say hi,
I love you,
我需要借... 一把螺丝刀。
and I need to borrow...
a screwdriver.
亲爱的，我店里的第一条规矩是什么？
Honey, what's the number-one
rule in my shop?
呃，民♥主♥党那套不得入内。
Uh, democracy
stops at the door.
所以，你读过手册了。
So, you have
read the handbook.
这里的第一条规矩是我们不把工具借给任何人。
Number-one rule in here is we
don't loan tools out to anybody.
爸爸，求你了。我只是拿去修点东西
Dad, please.
I just have to fix something
在伊芙明天回来之前。
before Eve gets back tomorrow.
伊芙明天回来？就，明天，明天？
Eve's coming back tomorrow?
Like, tomorrow, tomorrow?
是的，安妮。
Yes, Annie.
明天太阳出来后，然后伊芙就会在这里。
The sun will come out tomorrow,
and then Eve will be here.
哦，天哪，哦，天哪，
哦，天哪，哦，天哪。
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy.
爸爸，我知道你讨厌伊芙，
Dad, I know you hate Eve,
但你能请你试着对她好点吗？
but can you please
just try to be nice to her?
就当她是个一身干腌料味儿的女版乔・罗根吧
Pretend she's a female Joe Rogan
who smells like a dry rub.
你刚刚描述了一个完美女人。
You just described
the perfect woman.
嘿，我的小孙女。
Hey, there she is.
开学了，开心吗？
Are you excited about
going back to school?
爷爷，只有书呆子和萌新才会为开学第一天激动。
Grandpa, only nerds and noobs
get excited about day one.
我就喜欢慢慢来，等到第二天再登场，
I like to lay back,
swoop in on day two,
然后秒杀他们的气焰。
and crush their dreams.
而今天最不应该做的就是太高调。
The last thing you wanna be
today is too extra.
我言尽于此。
And I rest my case.
哦。那绝对是高调了。
Oof. That's definitely extra.
特别帅。
Extra handsome.
谢谢，妈妈。我要全力以赴
Thanks, Mom.
I'm going all out
赢得莉莉·马丁内斯的心。
to win the heart of Lily Martinez.
你还算走运，体型太大塞不进储物柜里。
You're lucky you're too big
to fit into a locker.
吐槽他穿这身会被不良学生找麻烦，
而被霸凌的学生通常就会被塞进储物柜里。
- 爸爸！
- 什么？
- Dad!
- What?
看起来他准备好为爱而战了，
Looks like he's ready
to whack somebody,
或者他是脱衣舞俱乐部的门卫。
or he's the doorman at a strip club.
所以，卡特，你是怎么决定
So, Carter, how did you decide
这是给莉莉留下印象的最佳方式？
this was the best way
to impress Lily?
我问了我的恋爱顾问。
I asked my relationship advisor.
我该怎么穿来给女士留下印象？
How do I dress to impress a lady?
要想穿搭拿满分，就学意大利人的风格。
If you want to dress like a ten, be Italian.
亲爱的。别问AI，就做你自己。
Honey. Don't ask AI, just be yourself.
那更糟。
That's worse.
好了，去吧。你要迟到了。
Alright, just go. You're gonna be late.
记住... 留下枪，
And remember... Leave the gun,
这句话出自电影《教父》，是克莱门扎在一次暗♥杀♥后所说的话，
代表了意大利风格的黑色幽默。
带上卡诺里。
take the cannoli.
很好，很好。
Great, great.
该死！