夜间法庭（2023）

Miss Potter.
我应该能拿到你女儿的圣诞清单
I think I can get your daughter's Christmas list.
真是个圣诞奇迹
Oh, it's a Christmas miracle.
拿到她的圣诞清单 还可以免除我的罚款
Getting her list and waiving my fine?
我总得问问吧
It was worth a shot.
我正要去失物招领处找找婚戒
I'm gonna go check the lost and found for wedding rings,
这些东西显然已经没那么重要了
cause apparently those things don't mean anything any more.
你好 弗吉尼亚 我是艾比 -很高兴认识你
Hi, Virginia. I'm Abby. - Nice to meet you.
并没有口齿不清
Hmm. No lisp.
这个丹
Dan!
很抱歉你没能见到圣诞老人
I'm really sorry that you didn't'get to talk to Santa,
但我可能是次佳人选
but I might be the next best thing.
你是小精灵吗
You're an elf?
我不是精灵
No, I'm I'm not an elf,
那你为什么这么袖珍 像我的钥匙链一样
Then why are you tiny and look like my keychain?
我是法官 我跟圣诞老人是老交情了
I'm a judge, and I got Santa Claus connections,
你有什么要我交给他的吗
so is there anything that you'd like me to give to him?
比如说信之类的 -我刚在餐厅看到他
Maybe a letter? - I already gave him my letter
已经把信给他了 -真聪明
when I saw him in the cafeteria. Oh, that's smart.
咱们去看看他有没有处理
Let's go see if he has any follow- ups.
这里还真是一派祥和啊
Here's a room full of holiday spirit.
那里面似乎主要是伏特加
And that spirit appears to be mostly vodka.
好吧 弗吉妮娅
AlI right, Virginia.
你把信给哪一位圣诞老人了
Which one of these Santas did you give your letter to?
那个在桌上打盹的
Is it that one taking a table nap,
还是躺在地上的那个
or that one all cozied up on the ground?
怎么一下多了这么多圣诞老人
Where did all these Santas come from?
每年 城里的酒鬼都会聚在一起
Well, every year, the city's drunks gather together
参加名为“圣诞老人♥大♥会”的金酒狂欢派对
for a gin- soaked freak fest known as SantaCon.
她还太小 应该没听过”圣诞老人♥大♥会“
Maybe she's too young to learn about SantaCon.
也对
Fair enough.
弗吉妮娅 这些人都是圣诞老人的替身
Virginia, these are Santa's body doubles.
你熟悉萨♥达♥姆♥·侯赛因吗
Are you familiar with Saddam Hussein?
我有个主意
I got an idea.
不如你带弗吉妮娅去别的地方
Why don't you take Virginia somewhere else
我去找真正的圣诞老人
and I'll track down the real Santa?
这肯定比在糖果工厂里
This is gonna be harder than that"Where's Waldo? "
找出沃尔多还要难
when he went to the candy cane factory.
左下角
Bottom left corner!
瞧
Behold!
那边的女人在这个欢乐时刻给亲人发短♥信♥
That woman texting loved ones at this joyous time of year.
你是不是也该放放工作狂的作风了
Kind of makes you want to change your miserly ways, huh? !
知道吗
You know
无意冒犯 但你根本不像幽灵
don't take this the wrong way, but you're not much of a ghost.
你只不过是把房♥间里
You're just looking around the room
大家的活动一一复述
and telling me things that are happening.
我在圣诞这一天
In the Christmas present,
会带你找到属于自己的圣诞顿悟
nudging you towards your Christmas epiphany.
以下就是我的顿悟 你之所以出现在这里
Here's my epiphany You're only here
因为你目睹了一个偷♥窥♥狂
because you witnessed a peeping tom
蹲在防火梯上偷♥窥♥他的前女友
spying on his ex- girlfriend from a fire escape.
我本来也在上面的
I would have been up there, too,
但我的火鸡腿掉下来了
but I dropped my turkey leg.
瞧啊 又有个人在打电♥话♥了
Oh, beholdl Another person on their phone!
我得去喝点水 -我跟你一起去
I need some water. - I'll go with you.
我得去洗洗我的火鸡腿
I have to wash my turkey leg.
你都成幽灵了 还担心细菌吗
Why would you care about germs if you're a ghost? !
你们网站显示 我的卡里姆视频已到货
Your website said my Kareem video would be here by now.
请问我为什么还没收到
What could be possibly be the hold...up?
我再打给你 贾巴尔先生
Ooh, uh, let me call you back. Mr. Abdul- Jabbar.
原来来的是实物啊 -你是老葛吧
You're not a video. - You're Gurgs, right?
我被你对你朋友的描述感动了
I was so moved by what you wrote about your friend,
我决定为这位“人间天使“
I decided to give this"angel on earth"
送一份最好的礼物
the best present ever-
我自己
me.
哇 你礼物的逼格一下子高了
Wow. Now your gift is going to be way better!
卡里姆 求你帮帮忙
Kareem, would you be a lamb
把天花板上的彩带弄直好吗直
and straighten that ceiling tinsel?
没问题
On it.
弗吉尼亚 我们出大事了
Virginia, we are capital- F Fudged.
丹不会喜欢这个的 -为什么
Dan's gonna hate this. - Why?
你不说他很喜欢卡里姆吗
You said he loves Kareem.
对 只是隔着屏幕的喜欢 不是当面见到
Yeah, on a tiny screen, not in person.
丹讨厌人类
Dan hates people.
所以我录视频的主意再完美不过了
That's why my video was perfect.
一位依然在世的传奇人物
Dan would get to hold a living legend
会出现在他的掌心 他可以像上帝一样决定
in the palm of his hand, mute and unmute
要不要给这个庞然大物静音
this titan at will, like a God.
这就是丹的乐趣所在
That's how Dan gets his kicks.
并不是亲眼看到比他优秀的高富帅
Not by meeting somebody richer and taller than him!
所以你是让我搜查一屋子
So, the deal is I help you pat down a roomful
酩酊大醉的圣诞老人 找到这孩子的圣诞清单
of over- served Santas looking for some kid's Christmas list.
而于我而言 一点回报都没有吗
And to sweeten the deal, I get nothing in return?
你可以把这张彩票拿回去
Well, you could get this ticket back.
天 这种彩票我家有一堆
Ooh! I've got a bag full of tickets.
莱尼 可以让我们单独聊聊吗
Lenny, can we have the hall?
没错 你家确实不缺彩票
You're right. You do have a lot of tickets.
但那些彩票上有
Do any of them have...
两个李子
Double plums!
对啊 没错
Yeah, that's right.
看来这张彩票的赢面很大
Looks like we're on our way to a real nice ticket here.
要是出了什么事 那就太可惜了
Be a damn shame if something were to happen to it.
什么
Wh- -
搞毛线啊 你给我听着
Abracadabra Stone, you look at me.
这可是两个李子耶 再来一个就是一百万奖金了
Double plums that's one plum away from $1 million.
大奖可以是我们的 你的和我的
Could be ours, Abby...yours and mine.
帮我拯救小女孩的圣诞节
Help me save this little girl's Christmas,
彩票就归你
and the ticket's yours.
要是敢拒绝 我就烤了你的李子
Refuse, and I roast your plums.
你看着像是见利忘圣诞节的人吗
Do I look like someone who loves money more than Christmas?
不是 这让我恶心
No. It disgusts me.
你今晚有收到小女孩的信吗
AlI right. Did a letter girl give you a letter tonight?
这是我有史以来 最烂的一次约会
This is the worst date I've ever been on.
你♥爸♥看着还挺酷
Your dad seems cool.
里面大多都是毒品
I think most of this is drugs.
就算是 也是精灵瞒着我放进去的
If it is, the elves put em in there without my knowledge.
我知道自己身材魁梧 我知道自己胡子茂盛
Yes, I am a man of size. Yes, I have a lush beard.
但也不用每次我穿上
Must I therefore be accosted
这身最爱的运动装 就有人纷纷来搭讪吧
every time I wear my favorite athleisure suit?
至少你有饼干吃
At least you get cookies.
但我要的是尊重
What I want is some damn respect!
想和圣诞老人聊聊吗 规矩你懂的
If you wanna talk to Santa, you know what you have to do.
你有没有收到那封信
Do you have the letter or not?
没有
I do not.
这也太蠢了
This is stupid.
照这么下去绝对是死胡同
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
这里还剩30多个圣诞老人呢
There are like 30 Santas left in here.
跳过脸上有纹身的呢
We could skip the ones with the face tattoos.
行吧 那还剩下26个圣诞老人
Oh, fine. There are 26 Santas left in here.
坏孩子 -什么鬼
Naughty! - Ow! What the hell was
坏孩子 坏孩子
Naughty. Naughty.
好孩子 -嘿
Nice. Hey!
坏孩子
Naughty.
弗吉尼亚也有这种精灵钥匙链
Virginia had one of these elf keychains.
那个圣诞老人一定就是他
He must be her Santa.
对 他的钥匙链看着像
Yeah, his keychain looks just like
我不是精灵
I'm not an elfl
没甜头我是不会开口的
*Iwon't talk until I get some*
没甜头我是不会开口的
*I won't talk until I get some*
没甜头我是不会开口的
*No, I won't talk until I get some*
所以给我再来点啤酒