假亦真（2014）

《假亦真》前情预告
Previously on faking it...
你干脆直接告诉她你的感受啊
Why don't you tell her how you feel?
-很明显她爱你 -是作为朋友
- it's pretty clear she loves you. - as a friend.
你们接吻时 她有所感觉
She felt something when you kissed,
现在她在推开你
and now she's pushing you away.
我觉得我们还是该分手
I think we should still break up.
那和我说说你时刻都在服用
Tell me about the pills you take all the time
不想让别人看见的药片的事
that you don't want anyone to see.
艾米怎么办
What about Amy?
我们在伪装和好
We're faking getting back together
直到这一切都烟消云散
until all of this blows over.
没别人知道 只有你
Nobody else knows, just you.
比看起来要难
It's harder than it looks.
我来教你
Here, let me show you.
首先 你湿一点
First, you get a little wet.
然后呢
And then what?
然后弄脏[淫♥荡♥]一点
And then you get a little dirty.
好吧 太扫兴了
Okay, total buzz kill.
真的 我的幽灵幻想结束了
Seriously, so much for my ghost fantasy.
这里
Here.
怎么了
What?
没什么
Nothing.
我很快乐
I'm happy.
你让我很快乐
You make me happy.
你也让我很快乐
You make me happy too.
我们什么时候能在大庭广众下快乐
When can we be happy outside?
我们这一周的夜里都在这里偷偷摸摸的
I mean, we've been sneaking in here at night for a week.
这些油漆味开始让我觉得难受了
These paint fumes are starting to get to me.
再久一点
Just a little while longer.
你真走运
And lucky for you,
我还有好多幻想
I have so many more fantasies.
光是尼古拉斯·斯帕克斯的书就能玩一个月
The Nicholas Sparks books alone could take a month.
到底多长时间
How long, exactly?
等到艾米和我能平静地告诉大家
Just until Amy and I can quietly tell everyone
我们分手了
we've broken up.
当然 还有尊重性的悼念时期
And then a respectful mourning period of course.
最多六个月
Six months, tops.
六个月 那太久了
Six months? That's forever.
我知道 很抱歉
I know, I'm sorry.
但如果学校里的人觉得我因为你离开了艾米
But if people at school think I left Amy for you,
比起石油公♥司♥来 他们会更讨厌我们
they'll hate us more than oil companies.
艾米对这一切没意见吗
And Amy is okay with this?
绝对是
100%.
我只是 我真的不喜欢撒谎
I just, I really don't like lying.
我也是 讨厌死了
Me either-- hate it.
你这么性感撩人 真好
It's a good thing you're so damn sexy.
我得在我爸妈的安♥眠♥药♥效过去前回去
I better go before my parents' ambien wears off.
明天在这里见吗
I'll meet you back here tomorrow?
不行
I can't.
是艾米妈妈的婚礼 记得吗
It's Amy's mom's wedding, remember?
我忘了
Oh, I forgot.
希望我能挺过短暂的分别
Well, let's hope I can survive the withdrawal.
总之 请大家举起酒杯
"And in conclusion, please raise your glasses
敬法拉尔和布鲁斯
"to Farrah and Bruce.
祝你们的明天比昨天更好
May each of your tomorrows be better than your yesterdays."
你是想听我超级支持的意见
Do you want my super-supportive opinion
还是严爱的观点
or my tough-love opinion?
那么烂吗
That bad?
我超讨厌这个
I hate this.
你愿意帮我致辞吗
Will you do it for me?
你知道我喜欢麦克风和受制观众
You know I love a microphone and a captive audience,
但你没问题的
but you got this.
说出内心的话吧
Just speak from your heart.
如果我心里说的是
What if my heart says something really stupid
无法收回的蠢话呢
that it can never take back?
不可能的
That's not possible.
亲爱的 我需要你...
Honey, I need you to--
艾米 我们谈过的
Amy, we talked about this.
外婆就在楼下呢
Nana is downstairs.
谢天谢地她没在五分钟前冲进来
Thank god she didn't barge in five minutes ago,
那时我们正在69式呢
when we were 69-ing.
今天是我结婚的日子
It is my wedding day.
能别气我吗
Could we not do this?
你们能不能下楼
Now, will y'all go,
让她清醒着撑过结婚仪式
and keep her sober through the ceremony?
我可不想让表哥沃尔特葬礼的一幕重演
I do not want a repeat of my cousin Walter's funeral.
我马上下去
I'll be right there.
我看起来怎么样
How do I look?
美极了
Beautiful.
我觉得这条婚纱最适合你
I think this dress is the best one yet.
利亚姆 想你
我也是
Me too.
我真希望我比我妈妈更擅长处理关系
I really hope I'm better at relationships than my mother.
这样想吧 你不可能更糟糕了
Think of it this way: you couldn't be worse.
是谁
Who was that?
我妈妈 她想让我抱你下
My mom. She wants me to give you a hug.
真高兴我们和好了
I'm so glad we're back to good.
就我们俩
Just the two of us.
对 我也是
Yeah, me too.
假亦真 第一季第八集[本季终]
卡玛 短暂分别怎么样
利亚姆 煎熬
有人跟踪我
I have a stalker.
让我猜猜 他叫帕布罗
Let me guess: his name is Pablo.
我拒绝他后 他就一直发这些照片
Ever since I rejected him, he's posting all these photos
想色♥诱♥我回头
to try and seduce me back.
超级帅气的 瞧
Super sadsies, look.
他是在为艾滋病骑行活动训练
He's training for the aids ride.
穿着紧身黄色自行车服
In tight yellow bike gear.
这是我最爱的颜色
Only my favorite color.
瞧瞧他刚救的小狗
Look at the puppy he just rescued:
比熊犬和贵宾犬混种
A bichon-poodle mix.
也是我梦想的狗狗
Aka my dream dog.
-肖恩 你被骗了 -需要更多证据吗
- Shane, you're deluded. - Need more proof?
瞧
Bam.
他陪着劳伦参加她爸爸的婚礼吗
He's escorting Lauren to her dad's wedding?
而且他系上了自己的领结
And he tied his own bow tie.
我八岁开始就戴领结了 好吗
I've been tying my own bow tie since I was eight, okay.
那是哥的特点
It's my thing.
我还以为你的特点是说...
I thought your thing was saying--
那就是哥的特点
It's my thing.
我感觉糟透了 他为我消得人憔悴
I feel so terrible for this guy pining away,
希望我能看到这些然后跑去找他
hoping I'll see these and come running.
也许你该
Maybe you should.
跑去找他
Come running.
-是啊 -我说真的
- Yeah, right. - No, no, I'm serious.
我们不请自去
Let's crash that wedding
这样你就可以告诉这个可怜人忘了你
so you can tell this poor guy to move on.
-我不打算那样... -我来开车
- Well, that's not exactly-- - I'll drive.
你觉得我妈妈怀疑艾米是拉拉了吗
Do you think my mother suspects Amy's a lesbian?
如果她发现了 那我就要听她唠叨个没完了
If she finds out, I will never hear the end of it.
亲爱的 你妈妈在梅莉莎·埃瑟里奇音乐会上
Honey, your mother couldn't pick out a lesbian
都辨认不出拉拉
at a Melissa Etheridge concert.
我们现在非得说这个吗
And do we have to talk about this right now?
-不是啦 -小心
- No. - Look out.
外婆 你觉得婚礼怎么样
So, nana, what did you think of the ceremony?
对我的口味而言 耶稣味儿太浓了
Little too much Jesus for my taste.
我最喜欢她的第一次婚礼
I liked her first wedding the best,
但这次绝对打败了第二次
but this definitely beat that second one.
好一双"弱视眼"
Good old "lazy eye."
能不能把酒瓶还给我
Can I get my flask back?
除非我喝醉 不然没法撑下去