假亦真（2014）

《假亦真》前情预告
Previously on Faking it...
我们在社交梯子上摇摇欲坠
We're teetering on the edge of the social ladder.
你俩明天该来参加派对
You two should come to my party tomorrow.
-你是拉拉 -你说什么
- You're gay. - Excuse me?
利亚姆觉得我是拉拉
Liam thinks I'm a lesbian.
我们选她们为返校节王后吧
Let's elect them homecoming queens!
也许我们该看看发展如何
Maybe we should see how this plays out.
我们不是拉拉
We're not gay.
真会让大家信服
Way to sell it.
你的女朋友怎么办
What about your girlfriend?
她不是我女朋友
She's not my girlfriend.
怎么 我有眼屎吗
What, do I have eye boogers?
如果你想的话 我们现在就可以停止
We could stop right now if you want.
你在干什么
Aah! What the are you doing?
你在我的房♥间里干什么
What the are you doing in my room?
测量啊
Measuring.
看来你的房♥间比我的大37平方英尺
Turns out it's 37 square feet bigger than mine,
所以我想要
which means I want it.
那样显得我小
I'm petty that way.
是啊 继续喷发胶吧
Yeah, right. Keep huffing your hair spray.
我很敬佩你在返校节聚会上做出的举动
I admire that move you made at the homecoming assembly.
那个吻让高中
That kiss convinced all of those idiots
嬉皮公社里的所有傻瓜
at our hippie commune of a high school
相信了你和卡玛是同性恋
that you and Karma are vag-etarians,
但你偷走了我的王冠 现在我要你的房♥间
but you stole my crown, and now I want your room.
不然有你好看
Or else.
不然怎么样
Or else what?
上帝 今天照看点法拉尔吧 因为她要和老板
Lord, watch over Farrah today as she talks to her boss
说从气象部转到新闻部的事
about moving from weather to news,
希望她能因你赐予她的美丽心灵
and may she finally be respected
而得到尊重
for that beautiful mind you gave her
不止是那对美胸
and not just those beautiful boobs.
上帝 我们为此感谢你 还有这些食物
We thank you for them, lord, and for this food.
-阿门 -阿门
- Amen. - Amen.
亲爱的 慢点吃
Honey, slow down.
你有很长的时间准备呢
You have plenty of time to get ready.
她准备好了
She is ready.
谢谢你赞扬我
But thanks for the ego boost.
艾米 真抱歉
Amy, I'm sorry,
但你的头发真心漂亮
but you have such gorgeous hair,
而你就让头发软软地搭着
and you just let it hang there limp.
那看上去像流浪汉的睡衣
And those look like a homeless man's pajamas.
不如你穿上我给你买♥♥的可爱的短裙吧
Why don't you wear that cute skirt I bought you?
我觉得她很美
I think she looks great.
坚强的女人才会每天穿裤子
You know, it takes a strong woman to wear pants every day.
那是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
没什么 我不知道
Nothing. I don't know.
无所谓啦
Never mind.
你好啊 我的玩偶
Hey there, my little show pony.
返校节选举怎么样
How did that homecoming election go?
是啊
Yes.
我们是不是该叫你"女王陛下"了
Should we start calling you "Your highness,"
我们会叫的哦
because we would.
你相信我们输给了一对拉拉吗
Would you believe we lost to a pair of lesbians?
亲爱的 就因为他们打败了你们
Now, honey, there's no reason to call them names
也不该说他们坏话啊
just 'cause they beat you.
我没这样教你
I raised you better than that.
我没有 爸爸 我们输给了两个女生
I'm not, daddy. We lost to two girls.
我告诉过你 这个镇上的
I told you, the public school system
公立学校系统一团糟
in this town is broken.
我们不该选那个人当总统
We should have never put that man in the white house.
婚姻是一回事 但是返校节
Marriage is one thing, but homecoming?
这什么时候才会结束啊
When does it stop?
真是个好问题 法拉尔
Good question, Farrah.
什么时候啊
When?
说一个完全无关的话题吧
On a completely unrelated topic,
艾米告诉你们了吗
did Amy tell you?
我们要换房♥住
We're switching rooms.
假亦真 第一季第二集
那个小贱♥人♥威胁我
That little bitch is threatening
要告诉我妈我是个拉拉
to tell my mom I'm a lesbian.
我们得分手 不再继续这样
We have to break up and shut this down.
昨天我们才刚刚出柜
We just came out as a couple yesterday.
这会给人们武器的
It'll give people whiplash.
我们得这样装多久
How long do we have to keep this up?
直到我们的名人地位在赫斯特高中得到巩固
Only until our celebrity status at Hester High is cemented.
卡玛 我们是学校第一对拉拉
Karma, we're the school's first lesbian couple.
我们是传奇
We're legends.
是啊 但如果我们不好好处理
Yes, but if we don't play this right,
我们可能沦落到和比利·牛顿一个结局
we could end up like Billy Newton.
-比利·牛顿是谁 -正是
- Who's Billy Newton? - Exactly.
记得去年转来的聋子吗
Remember that deaf kid that transferred in last year
接着全校就学了手语
and the whole school learned sign language?
他植入了人工耳蜗 然后
He got cochlear implants, and...
现在好像他不存在一样
我不能再装下去了
I can't pull this off much longer.
我显然不是拉拉
I'm so clearly not a lesbian,
如果学校里的人发现我们在假装
and if everyone at school finds out we're faking it,
他们可能会克服
they might overcome their opposition
对死刑的反对
to the death penalty.
所以我汇编了这本方便的档案
Which is why I compiled this handy dossier.
怎么方便了
How is this handy?
什么是"紧紧靠"
What's "Bumper to bumper"?
你难道对此不觉得奇怪吗 假装是拉拉
You don't feel weird about this, pretending to be girlfriends?
天啊 我吻技那么差吗
Jeez, was I that bad a kisser?
就像是
It was like
亲我的妹妹一样
kissing my sister.
你又不享受
It's not like you enjoyed it.
我还以为你很棒呢
I thought you were great.
是吗
You did?
咚咚
Knock, knock.
两个小姑娘都还得体吧
You two womyn with a "Y" decent?
妈妈 爸爸
Mom, dad.
不会待太长时间的 只是想给你们
Won't stay long, just wanted to bring you
端来庆祝的康普茶
these cups of celebratory kombucha.
祝你健康
Salud.
艾米
Oh, Amy,
虽然你不是我生的
you couldn't feel more like a daughter to me
但你就像我的女儿一样
if you came from my own womb.
我真是高兴死了
I am overflowing with joy.
你居然告诉了你父母
I didn't realize you told your parents.
你妈妈接受得怎么样
How did your mother take the news?
她有点... 那个词怎么说来着
She can be a little-- what's the word?
-跟不上潮流 -对
- Unevolved. - Yes.
我还没告诉她
I haven't told her yet.
如果她赶走你 你可以住在这里
Well, if she kicks you out, you can always stay here.
这里很安全
This is a safe space.
我来给你们俩拍张合照 这样就可以发给
Now let's get a pic of you two, so I can send it
你在美国和平部队的泽恩哥哥
to your brother Zen in the Peace Corps.
这太... 而且...
This is just-- it's all so--
你懂的
You know...
你们两个先驱要好好爱对方哦
You two trailblazers have fun loving each other.
好
Okay.
-没搞错吧 -我知道
- Seriously? - I know. I know.
我不该告诉他们的
I shouldn't have told them.
我只是知道这会让他们好开心
I just knew that it would make them so happy.
他们已经加入了PFLAG
They've already joined PFLAG.
我终于赢了泽恩
And I've finally trumped Zen.
PFLAG是什么
What is PFLAG?
同性恋亲友会
Parents and friends of lesbians and gays.
-在档案里 -卡玛 我做不到