星期五晚餐（美版）（2024）

格雷格
Gregg?
格雷格
Gregg?
这么大了还玩这个
Aren't we too old for this?
不如你以后都别再惹我了
Maybe quit messing with me once and for all.
有点同情心吧
Have a little sympathy.
克莉丝汀在来的路上 就要来见爸妈
I've got Kristen on the way, about to meet Mom and Dad.
然后爸妈肯定会让我出大丑
I've got Mom and Dad about to embarrass the shit out of me.
再说了
And besides...
我亲爱的小弟 你的所有举动
my sweet little brother, I know all
我都了如指掌
of your moves!
你好啊 大卫
What's up, David?
你的航♥班♥如何 还顺利吗
How was your flight? Was it good?
我怎么就错过了你呢屎粑粑
How I've missed you, Whoopsie, how I've missed you.
你判断力太差 我赢了一点都不意外
That's a weak burn. I wasn't an accident.
惊喜 -惊喜
Surprise! - Surprise!
嘿 妈
Hey, Mom. - Oh!
我的小宝贝儿
My- a bambino!
亲爱的 你能回来可太好了
Oh, sweetheart, it's so good to have you home.
好吧 爸 不是吧 这件衬衫不是让你拿来穿的
Okay, Dad, come on. You're not supposed to actually wear that shirt.
这是父亲节我们给你的恶作剧礼物
It was a gag gift we got you for Father's Day.
这是我最爱的衬衫了 大卫
This is my favorite shirt, David.
我就是为了见克莉丝汀才穿的 她在哪呢
I wore it just for Kristen. Where is she?
好激动要见她了 -就是啊大卫 克莉丝汀呢
I'm excited to meet her. - Yes, David, where's Kristen?
天 新闻说一辆卡车撞了
Oh, God, the news said a truck crashed.
克莉丝汀开卡车的吗 -哈维
Does Kristen drive a truck? Harvey.
她是一位获奖诗人
She is an award- winning poet.
她不开卡车的 -谢谢
She does not drive a truck. Thank you.
大卫 她是死在卡车里了吗
David, is she dead in a truck?
告诉我她没死在卡车里 -没有 我
Tell me she's not dead in a truck. - Oh, no, I
怎么会 放轻松啦 她 她没事
No, relax, relax, she's, she's okay.
天 希望家里有啤洒
God, I hope there's beer.
大卫宝儿 看看我准备了什么晚餐
Oh, David, honey, look what's for dinner.
哇 你要做水牛城辣鸡翅
Oh, wow, you're making Buffalo wings.
对啊 为了向克莉丝汀致敬 她不是水牛城人嘛 懂吧
Yeah, in honor of Kristen, cause she's from Buffalo. You get it?
是 因为我们觉得见男友父母嘛
Yeah, cause, you know, we thought it'd be very nerve- wracking
肯定挺紧张的
to meet your boyfriend's parents,
我们就想让她觉得轻松自在些 就像回家一样
so we want her to feel very relaxed and very at home,
所以 就这样啦
and so...Voila. You know.
好吧 这么说可能有点老土
Okay, this is kinda corny,
但我真的挺想念周五饭餐之夜的
but I have missed these Friday night dinners.
过来 过来
Mm. - Come here. Come here.
你居然会主动拥抱你父母
Are you gonna hug your parents voluntarily?
我们只希望你和克莉丝汀能有个好结果
We just want things to work out with you and Kristen.
是啊 我们都知道你有多挣扎
Yeah, we know how much you struggle. Yeah.
挣扎
Struggle?
就约会的事嘛
Well, you know, with dating.
跟女人们
Yeah, with women.
我 我没有挣扎啊
I, well, I don't"struggle. "
我 不再那样了
Well, I Not anymore.
好吧 我不是六年前离开这里的那个书呆子了 好吗
Okay, I'm not the geeky kid that left here six years ago, okay?
我 我是个成年人了有个认真交往的女友
I'm, I'm a grown man with a serious girlfriend
我也希望你们能把我当做成年人来对待
and I would appreciate being treated like an adult.
那么 有多认真呢 就是
So, uh, how serious are we talking? Like, about, um
亲 听 -听啥
Honey, shh, listen. - What?
我是听到了
Do I hear...
婚礼钟声吗 -哦 婚礼钟声啊
wedding bells? - Oh, wedding bells!
叮咚咚
Ding- dong- dong.
那么如果你决定求婚了
So, if you did decide to propose,
太姥姥赛迪的戒指就在楼上哈 我就是说一声哈
Great- Grandma Sadie's ring is right upstairs. Just saying.
她可是从俄♥罗♥斯♥走私回来的 就放在了
Oh, she smuggled that ring out of Russia inside...
好了 谢谢外婆
Okay. Thanks, Nana.
反正我也没打算在你们面前求婚
It's not like I'd do that in front of you guys anyways.
为什么不呢 -就是 你还等啥呢大卫
Well, why not? - Yeah, what are you waiting for, David?
我像你这么大时 都让你妈怀上了 还两次
By the time I was your age, I had impregnated your mother. Twice.
一击即中啊一击即中
Boom- shakalaka. Boom boom- shakalaka.
行吧 妈 看见没 所以我才不能
Yeah, okay. Mom, that right there, that's why not.
我们能确定这个所谓的克莉丝汀是真实存在的吗
Are we even sure this alleged Kristen even exists?
我是说 我去网上搜照片了 什么都没搜到
I mean, I've scoured the internet for photos. There's nothing.
我在爱荷华找到了一个和她同名的人
I did find someone with her exact name in Iowa.
她把自己内衣卖♥♥给了海外商人
And she sells her underwear to businessmen overseas.
那不是克莉丝汀
Uh, that's not Kristen.
她不怎么用社交媒体 如此而已
She just doesn't have social media. That's all.
是哈
Right.
格雷格 看到你嫉妒我挺心疼的 兄弟
Gregg, it really hurts my heart to see you this jealous, man.
我吗 我会嫉妒一个数学老师 -数学教授
Oh, me, jealous of a, of a math teacher? - Math professor.
矮油 我现在是教授了
Oh, ooh, I'm a professor now.
我连手肘都需要多一层保护了
My elbows require an extra layer of protection.
格雷格 别这么混球
Gregg, stop being a prick.
格雷格就是受伤了
Gregg's just hurting right now, you know.
因为我有工作还有女友
Cause I've got a job and a girlfriend.
而你有的是两个中年室友
And you have two middle- aged roommates.
而你的主要收入则来源于你的生日贺卡
And your primary source of income is your birthday cards.
不会太久了 婊砸
Not for long, beetch.
我马上就要有钱啦
I'm about to get reetch.
格雷格计划举办自己的音乐节
Gregg's planning to launch his own music festival.
格雷格举办的格雷格西岸音乐节
”Gregg by Greggwest. "
很虚幻
It's unreal.
很明显啊 跟你的幻想女友一样
Like your imaginary girlfriend, apparently.
如果你搞错了呢 如果她是真的呢
Mm. And if you're wrong? If she is real?
那我就以后都不再惹你了
Then I guess I'll have to stop messing with you.
永远的
For life.
就像你要求的那样
Just like you asked.
那可太好了
That'd be nice.
看看啊
Oh, look at that.
来的正是时候
Perfect timing.
接受现实吧 屎粑粑
Suck it, Whoopsie.
你们愿意要我的 对吧
You guys meant to have me, right?
嘿 克莉丝汀
HeylKristen.
哦 不是克莉丝汀啊
Oh, that is not Kristen.
你点披萨了吗
Did you order a pizza?
抱歉 稍等一下
Uh, sorry, one second.
嘿 克莉丝汀 你在哪呢
Hey, Kristen, where you at?
大卫 我要怎么说才好
David. Uh, how can I say this?
你和我
You and me...
嘿 我说 -我天 你要踹了我吗
Hey! Excuse mel- Oh, my God. Are you dumping me?
事情发展的太快了 我不知道自己是否准备好了
Things are moving so fast and I don't know if I'm ready.
拜托 拜托 不要啊
Please. Please, no, no. Just...
别挑现在啊 来吃晚餐吧 -我已经下定决心了
Not now. Just come to dinner. I made up my mind.
大卫 -这样如何
David- How about this
你先预踹我
Pre- dump me now,
但实际踹我这时直到今夜12点
uh, but the dumping doesn't legally take effect
才生效 这样你还是可以过来吃晚餐的
until midnight. So you could still come to dinner.
大卫 不
David, no.
我不能自己回屋去 我弟就是个野兽
I cannot go back in there alone. My brother is an animal.
他会毁了我的
He will destroy me.
我们往后余生
For the rest of our lives,
他都会冷酷无情的 -伙计 这到底是不是你的披萨
he will relentless- Dude! Is this your pizza or not?
大卫 谁在乎你弟怎么想的啊
David, who cares what your brother thinks?
你也太缺乏安全感了吧
You're so insecure.
所以我才不能跟
That's exactly why I can't be with...
不好意思 抱歉 抱歉
Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
嗨 嗨 我叫大卫 你叫什么
Hi. Hi. Uh, my name's David. What's your name?
戴斯蒂妮（命运）
Destiny.
哇 行吧 戴斯蒂妮
Wow, okay, uh, Destiny.
我知道这听起来很奇怪 但我需要你的帮助
Uh, this is gonna sound weird, but I need your help.
我不管你什么事 都没时间
I don't have time for whatever this is.
我刚又接了一单 -取消 取消
I just booked another delivery. - Cancel it. Cancel it.
请取消 我确保你这么做值得 我保证
Please cancel it. I will make it worth your while. I promise.
你到底想要什么
What do you want from me?
我需要你进去和我还有我家人一起吃个晚饭
I need you to come inside and have dinner with me and my family.