联系（2020）

这
集
发
发生
发生在
2020年10月31日
我们先热热身
Let's pregame.
我就算了 没时间
No "whoo" for me. I have no time.
大家都好忙
Everyone is so busy.
艾丽丝在准备派对
Ellis is getting ready for the party,
帕拉迪普在给孩子准备万圣节
Pradeep is setting up Halloween for his kids...
我是你最后的选择 对吗
So I'm the last one you called?
最后的 也是最好的
Last and best.
很显然
Obviously.
我得完成工作
I have to finish work
还得在今晚派对之前看完一集《日落家园》
and an episode of "Selling Sunset" before the party tonight.
我都没来得及想穿什么装扮
I haven't even started thinking about a costume.
这次主题是什么来着
What's the theme again?
经典怪物
Universal classic monsters.
艾丽丝
Ellis!
为什么今年要办这么盛大且复杂的万圣节
Why do we have to do a big, complicated Halloween this year?
复杂 这可是经典服饰
Complicated? It's classic costumes!
再说 你和加瑞特可是隔离期间的手艺大♥师♥
Plus, you and Garret are the masters of quarantine crafting.
不再是了
Not anymore.
都过了七个月了 我们都很疲惫
It has been seven months, and we are burnt out.
你知道我们昨天晚饭是什么吗
Do you know what we had for dinner last night?
炖菜
Stew.
不是弗拉芒啤酒炖烤肉
Not a carbonnade a la flamande,
也不是法式浓汤 而是炖菜
not a niçoise soup, stew.
我们今年不是很想过特别花哨的万圣节
I don't think we have a fancy Halloween in us this year.
我是说
I mean...
你非得看一集《日落家园》吗
do you have to watch an episode of "Selling Sunset"?
没错 非看不可
Yeah, I do.
我和加瑞特一起看过
Garret and I were watching together,
但接着他问我能不能自己一个人看
but then he asked if he could watch one without me,
我说"行 到时候我补看"
and I said, "Yeah, sure, I'll catch up,"
然后我自己一个人又看了一集 然后
but then I watched one without him, and then--
米歇尔
Michelle.
我知道 我们被这个补剧怪圈绕进去了
I know! We're stuck in this catching up loop,
但那剧就像毒品一样
but that show is like an illegal drug.
我知道对自己不好 但还是欲罢不能
I know it's bad for me, but I just can't stop.
我好累
I am so tired.
那是谁
Who's that?
这也是我喝酒的原因
Oh...that's the other reason I'm drinking.
你知道我的网有多烂
You know how my internet is the worst?
安妮 我说让你办一个威瑞森5G电♥信♥网
Annie, I told you to get Verizon 5G.
我们就等着这个呢
It is what we've been waiting for.
不 这个我已经有了 谢谢
No, I actually have Verizon 5G, thank you,
但这是给我家里装的网
but this is for my home internet.
我让他们修 他们派人来了
I asked them to fix it, and they sent a person.
这是近几个月来第一次进入我家的人
This is the first human to step into my apartment in months.
如果他们没戴口罩呢
I mean, what if they're not wearing a mask?
如果口罩拉到这里了呢
What if their mask is down here?
我能听见他们的呼吸
Oh...I can hear them breathing.
有人在家吗
Hello? Anyone home?
我是来装网的 能进来吗
Cable guy. Permission to breach?
-请进 -好的
- Yes, please. - Yes.
你在喝手部消毒液吗
Are you drinking hand sanitizer?
不 我把它重新蒸馏成蜂蜜酒了
Oh, no, I distilled it back to mead.
但你用的是一个瓶子
But you're using the same bottles?
没错 因为我不是怪兽 本 这样可以保护地球环境
Yeah, 'cause I'm not a monster, Ben. Save the Earth.
随便吧 我打电♥话♥来是因为安妮的事
Whatever. I'm calling about Annie.
你终于相信我说她喜欢你的事了
Oh, so you finally believe what I said about her liking you?
说实话 我都不相信那不是手部消毒液
Honestly, I don't even believe that's not hand sanitizer.
但我至少得勇敢行动一次
But I gotta at least shoot my shot,
这个派对就是完美的时机
and this party is the perfect time to do it.
-我把她拉到一边 -有问题
- I'll just pull her aside-- - Problem.
这是网上派对 没有拉到一边这回事
It's a virtual party. There is no "aside" or "pulling."
解决方法 我让艾丽丝用了分组聊天室
Solution. I asked Ellis to use the breakout room,
她当时满身蛛网 但我肯定她答应了
and she was covered in cobwebs, but I'm pretty sure she said, "Yes."
她当时可能在用意第绪语爆粗
She might've been swearing in Yiddish.
无论如何 安妮一进去
Either way, once I get Annie in there,
我就会用上男孩男人合唱团的嗓音说
I'ma put on that Boyz II Men voice and say...
我最近一直在想她
That I've been thinking about her lately.
想知道她过得怎么样
That I wanna know how she's doing.
也许再加几句赞扬的话 比如
You know, maybe sliding some compliments like,
"鲁弗斯
"Hey, Rufus.
我一直想说你戴眼镜很帅"
I been meaning to say you look good in them glasses."
我不是想打击你对麦可·麦卡利的模仿
Not to diminish the power of your Michael McCary impression,
因为我确实感受到了什么
because I did just feel something,
但这种网上派对 不是现实派对
but a virtual party? Not a real party.
安妮也不是那种你以前勾搭的
And Annie is not the kind of shallow micro-influencer
那种浅薄的小网红
you're used to hitting on.
我不想听这个 我很紧张 我需要计划
This is not what I need to hear! I'm nervous! I need a plan! I mean...
如果我已经等得太久了呢
What if I waited too long already?
再说 帕兹算中级网红
Also, Paz was a mid-range influencer.
你考虑过把对她的感受写在信里吗
Have you considered writing her a letter about your feelings?
我看着像佐拉·尼尔·赫斯顿吗
Do I look like Zora Neale Hurston?
每个收过我情书的女人 都至少吻过我一次
Every woman I have written a love letter to has kissed me at least once.
说实话 我现在就在给一个女人写情书
In fact, I'm writing a letter to a woman right now.
二十二页 还是双面
22 pages. Double-sided.
这才叫浪漫 本
This is what romance looks like, Ben.
没错 那瓶子里肯定还残留了一些消毒液
Yeah, there's definitely some sanitizer left in that bottle.
我尝到了 没错
I am starting to taste it, yeah.
联♥系♥
第一季 第七集
联♥系♥
第一季 第七集
-扎克 你好 -什么
- Zach! Hi! - What?
你说你在装饰的时候
When you told me that you were decorating,
我以为一盏杰克南瓜灯差不多了
I thought, like, maybe one jack-o-lantern,
但你这看起来就像玛丽莲·曼森的洗衣房♥
but this looks like Marilyn Manson's laundry room.
不好意思 在这间屋子里 我们都是女权主义者
Excuse me, in this house, we are feminists,
我们做的是吉尔南瓜灯
and we make Jill-o-lanterns.
等等 看这个
Oh, wait. Check this out.
见见僵尸亚瑟
Meet Zom-Bea-Arthur.
好吧 为了个线上派对 还真花了不少功夫
Okay, this all seems like a lot of actual work for a virtual party.
我挺喜欢新冠蝙蝠的
I do love the COVID bats, though.
我是我们朋友群的万圣节操办人
I'm my friend group's Halloween czar.
每年他们都过来 我们一起定制♥服♥装
Every year, they come over, we coordinate costumes,
玩游戏 喝多了以后唱歌♥
play games, sing karaoke when we drink too much,
如果让一个小小疫情影响了传统
and I will be queen of the damned
那我就成拉胯女王了
if I let a little pandemic mess with our tradition.
我还给大家送了装饰品
I even sent everyone decorations
这样我们在合照里看起来就像在一起
so we all look like we're at the same party for our group photo.
你简直就是个无私奉献的圣人
Ooh, you're basically a saint.
和特蕾莎修女差不多了
Basically Mother Trans-resa.
你今晚有什么打算
What are you doing tonight?
大概就一边看《女巫也疯狂》
Probably just watching "Hocus Pocus"
一边吃一大袋小熊软糖
while eating a whole bag of gummi bears by myself
因为我是成年人了 这是我应得的
'cause I'm a grown man, and I'm worth it.
为什么 你喜欢在万圣节出门的
What? But you love going out on Halloween.
是啊 出门 去一个人们不会上下打量我的地方
Yeah, going out, where people aren't just seeing me from the nips up.
我知道会这样
I mean, I get that that's how it's gotta be,
-但我是跨性别者 -等等 你是跨性别者
- but I'm trans and I-- - Wait, you're trans?
惊喜
Surprise!
我很在意自己的演说
I care about my presentation.
每天我都会梳洗好 戴上束带 感觉不错
And every day, I groom myself, I put on my binder, I feel good!
然后和一群穿运动裤的顺性别者进入工作群聊
And then I pop into a work chat with cis people in sweatpants
他们基本上就是下个床
who basically rolled out of bed,
看着镜子 心里想
looked in the mirror and was like...
"这样就行了"
"This is fine."
得了吧 不是所有顺性别者都是这样的
Oh, come on, not all cis people are like that.
我的顺性别朋友在困难时候都很支持我
Mine have actually been really supportive during this tough time.
他们懂我