联系（2020）

这集发生在
2020年3月29日
新冠病毒危机席卷全国
Coronavirus crisis explodes across the nation.
待在家里 拯救生命
Stay home and save lives.
在洛杉矶 官方正在处理应急响应
In Los Angeles, official's managing the emergency response.
声称击败新冠病毒需要所有美国人齐心协力
Say the power to beat COVID‐19 lies with every American.
特朗普总统希望在复活节重新开放国家
President Trump wants to reopen the country by Easter Sunday.
新冠病毒规避组
急需为护士分配N95口罩
抱歉 我们
关门了
注意安全 保持健康
联♥系♥
联♥系♥
第一季 第一集
帕拉迪普
本的事祝你好运
在吗
Hello?
-安妮 -本
- Annie? ‐ Ben!
你好 等等 现在还不到八点半呢
Hi! Wait, it's not 8:30 yet.
你说过是八点一刻
You said 8:15.
不 我绝对说的是八点半
No, I 100% said 8:30.
是吗
You did?
那好吧
That's it.
我脑子坏了
My mind is broken.
没事的 你脑子没坏
No, it's okay, your mind's not broken.
今天早上洗澡之前 我穿上了跑步鞋
I put my running shoes on this morning before I hopped in the shower.
也许你脑子是有一点坏了
Oh, yeah, maybe your mind is a little broken.
确实坏了
It's broken.
店铺都关门了 想修也修不了
All these stores are closed. I can't even go get it fixed.
-正好你在 我想和你说点事 -等等
‐ Well, since I have you here, I wanted to run something by you. ‐ Wait.
你为什么在线
Then why are you here?
说实话 我有时候开着视频聊天是为了陪自己
Honestly, I keep this on for company sometimes.
你开着视频聊天陪... 为什么
You keep a live video chat on for c‐‐why?
免得监视你的联调局探员无聊吗
In case the FBI gets bored?
这就像鱼缸一样
It's like an aquarium!
哪里像了
In what sense?
这个窗口是长方形的
In that it's rectangular,
也许你们会有人游过来 还吐着泡泡
you know, and maybe one of you will swim by, bloop bloop.
这是我听过的最可悲的话了
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life.
本 这都2020年了 你还打算扫我们的兴吗
Ben, it's 2020. What, are you trying to jinx us?
昨天晚上 我一个人玩纸牌的时候睡着了
Last night, I fell asleep playing solitaire.
昨晚 我放了拉娜·德雷的歌♥
Last night, I put on Lana Del Rey
自己一个人慢慢独舞
and slow‐danced with myself.
有时候我会把柔道假人立起来
Sometimes I prop up my jiu‐jitsu grappling dummy,
把他放在椅子上
put him in a chair,
然后和他共进午餐
and have lunch with him.
有时候我会把枕头塞进连身衣 然后抱着它睡觉
Sometimes, I stuff pillows in one of my jumpsuits and take a nap with it.
等等 这不是真的吧
Wait, these are fake, right?
-真的假的 -我说的都是真的
- These are fake or real? ‐ No, all of mine are real.
因为我很真实
'Cause I'm real.
贾丝敏怎么样
How's Jazmin?
我应该会说"挺糟糕的"
Probably gonna say "bad."
是啊 我本来打算说"不怎么好"
Yeah, I was gonna say, "Not good."
你直接对着瓶子喝奶油杜松子酒吗
Are you drinking butterscotch schnapps straight out the bottle?
这是奶油桃酒
Oh, this is butterscotch peach.
你怎么样
How are you?
我好多了
Oh, I've been better.
有很多私人时间 你懂的
Lot of me time, you know?
我懂
Oh, I do.
真希望我有个室友
I just wish I had a roommate or something.
-关于这一点... -你听什么歌♥呢
‐ About that, I‐‐ ‐ What are you listening to?
-乐队的 -哪个乐队
‐ Oh, The Band. ‐ Yeah, which one?
不 这个乐队的名字就叫乐队合唱团
No, that's the name of the band.
这取名方式够懒的 好吧
Seems kind of lazy, but okay.
我也不知道 老音乐 老电影 老电视节目
I don't know, old music, old movies, old TV shows.
好像这是唯一能缓解焦虑的办法了
It's kind of the only thing soothing the anxiety.
还有 我又从头开始看《干杯酒吧》了
Also, I'm rewatching "Cheers" from the beginning.
《干杯酒吧》 原来你的聊天背景就是这个
"Cheers"! That's what your background is!
我就是萨姆·马龙
Sam Malone, represent!
萨姆·马龙不♥穿♥围裙
Sam Malone did not wear an apron!
卡拉
Carla.
趁诺姆回家之前 给他上一杯啤酒
Get Norm here a beer before he drives home!
这马龙演得都要让我喊救命了
I'ma call mayday on that Mayday Malone impression.
我还没用心演呢
I almost didn't do it.
但你以后都得心惊胆战了
But you have to live life on the edge.
再说 我更像卡拉
Plus, I'm more of a Carla, anyway.
得了吧 你绝对像黛安
Oh, come on, you're definitely Diane.
-你这么觉得吗 -当然了
‐ You think so? ‐ Hell yeah.
我一直觉得萨姆应该加快和她的进展
I always thought Sam should've moved in a little faster on her.
我同意
I agree!
总之 那件事发生之后 你还好吗...
Anyway, how you holding up with the whole...
"帕兹在全球疫情之前把我甩了" 的事吗
The whole "Paz dumping me before a global pandemic" thing?
是啊
Yeah.
说实话 不太好
Yeah, not great, if I'm being honest.
这种时候独身一人感觉还挺奇怪
Kind of a weird time to be super extra alone.
我理解
Yeah, I feel you.
你知道我今天想到了什么吗
You know what I was thinking about today?
全球人类灭绝 给我买♥♥个鱼缸
Global human extinction, buying me an aquarium...
芝加哥
Chicago.
-芝加哥 -记得吗
‐ Aw, Chicago. ‐ Remember?
我当然记得
Of course, I remember!
-真是美好的日子 -真是奇怪的一天
- That was such a good time! ‐ That was such a weird day.
-怎么就奇怪了 -我不知道
‐ Why was it a weird day? ‐ I‐‐I don't know!
我当时去探望放我鸽子的朋友
I was there visiting my dumb friend who flaked on me.
你跟发疯一样在去看你♥爸♥的路上花了十个小时
You were on that crazy ten‐hour layover on the way to see your dad...
省一千块钱哪儿算发疯了
What's crazy about saving $1,000?
没什么 我只是说这很奇怪
Nothing! I'm just saying it's weird
我们最后分别到达了芝加哥 都有一天时间要打发
we both ended up there separately with a whole day to kill,
在一个不属于我们的城市逛了一天
walking around a city neither of us are from.
那个卖♥♥脆饼的还以为我们是新婚夫妻
The pretzel vendor who thought we were newlyweds.
那家伙骗了我们二十
The guy that scammed us for 20 bucks,
说她妻子"在医院" 他需要"赶过去"
said his wife was "in the hospital" and he "needed to get there."
我们又不知道他有没有骗人 如果是真的呢
We don't know that he scammed us. What if it was real?
对 我的意思是 绝对不像真的
Right. I mean, it totally wasn't.
但如果是真的呢 如果更糟糕呢
But what if it was? What's worse?
没错 他的骗术不错
Right. It was a good scam.
也许是免费脆饼的报应
It's probably karma for the free pretzel.
你怎么会想到这个
What made you think about that?
不知道 脑子里突然就跳出来了
I don't know. Just popped in my head.
好吧 说到
Well, speaking...
脑子里突然跳出来的事
of things popping into heads,
我有个疯狂的... 帕拉迪普
I kind of have a crazy‐‐ Pradeep!
别说话 他们会听见的
Shut up! They'll hear you!
你家里有人吗
Is someone in your house?
我们找到你了 帕爸爸真笨
We found you, we found you! You're stupid, Daddy P!
好 我很笨
Okay! I'm stupid.
你们找到我了
Ya found me!
现在去找里爸爸 好吗
Now go find Daddy R now, okay?
我要再藏一次 记住 我不会在同一个地方藏两次
I'm gonna hide again. Now, remember, I never hide in the same place twice.
别再来这里了
So don't come here!
去找里爸爸
Go get Daddy R!
去找他
Go get him!
-里爸爸躲哪儿了 -在后背厢里
‐ Where's Daddy R hiding? ‐ In the trunk of the car.
那混♥蛋♥拿了本书
He's got a book, that son of a bitch.
你好吗 帕拉迪普
How are you doing, Pradeep?
我好多了
Well, I've been better.
我好像讨厌我的孩子
I think I hate my kids!
不 你爱你的孩子 他们都是好孩子
Nah, you love your kids. You've got great kids!
我以前也这么想
Oh, I used to think that, too,
因为直到最近 我都没有整天和他们在一起
because until recently, I didn't spend all my time with them!
里奇是家庭主夫 他该懂的都懂
Richie's the home parent, and Richie knows what's what.
有段时间他有点担心我们的孩子变成混♥蛋♥ 我和他说
He's been worried about our kids being jerks for a while, and I'd be like,
"他们不会的" 说实话
"No, they're not," 'cause honestly?
我在家的大多数时间他们都在睡觉
Most of the time when I'm home, they're asleep.
现在我了解完整的情况了
But now I've got the full picture.